This is a concept I've been carrying around for years but haven't been able to articulate. It isn't fully articulated here either, but a bunch of words just came to me so I'm putting them down before I lose them.
Some people like/appreciate it when others worry about them. I don't. I can't speak to why people would appreciate being worried about, but the reason I don't like it is when someone worries about you, they're putting the burden of their emotions on you. Now you have to comfort them or reassure them or otherwise manage their emotions, not just for the immediate worries but for whenever you happen to engage in a similarly worry-inducing activity in the future.
So when I don't want someone worrying about me, it's because I don't want to manage their emotions. And when I don't worry about someone, I'm sparing them the burden of my emotions.
1 comment:
Too many people confuse worry with care, both as the worrier and the worriee.
I think you've articulated it well. I'll look forward to the next installment.
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