How to get women to stay at home with the kids

It seems some of Antonia Zerbisias's correspondents take offence at the fact that some mothers might go to work instead of staying at home with the kids. But they're going about this all wrong. Instead of starting with blogs and emails trying to convince people that a mother at home is the right decision philosophically and ethically, instead of trying to achieve it by default by eliminating other child care options, they need to take the opposite approach and start with labour conditions.

For example, if I had a husband and children, I would have to have to have to keep working. We'd have no choice. Why? Because I was fortunate to stumble upon a rare job with drug and dental coverage, life insurance and disability insurance. Neither mi cielito nor any other man I have ever met who would make a vaguely compatible partner has had such a job. The vast vast majority of jobs we've ever seen advertised or are otherwise aware of that we might be reasonably qualified to do have been temporary or contract positions with constant uncertainty. Under these conditions, before we even get to the question of whether the salary is sufficient, it would be downright irresponsible for me to leave my job if I had a child, because that would be leaving the child without insurance coverage and with no safety net in case of emergency. And even if we didn't need the money right this minute, even if we could do without the insurance for a few years, it would be irresponsible for me to let go of this job because it is very unlikely that either I or my husband would be able to find another comparable job if needed.

Now if we lived in a world where everyone with post-secondary education and a few years of work experience can automatically get a job that has benefits and pays enough to support a family, and if they lose that job they can easily get another, then people can go around leaving perfectly good jobs. And after this goes on for a while and people grow comfortable with the fact that good jobs are available free for the taking and you can just stop working and stay home without any disadvantages except the loss of your income, then you can start talking about who you think should stay home. But until all jobs can support families, there's no way you will ever be able to convince anyone to quit a job that can support a family.

So revolutionize labour conditions first. Lobby for an economy where a typical job can support a family. Lobby for a stronger social safety net so people don't need to be earning and squirreling away every possible dollar in case of job loss. Create a world where someone can stay home. Then people will be open to hashing out the details of who should stay home and why.