Saturday, April 13, 2024

How I excised dessert forks from my life and from my memory

I was recently pondering why a standard silverware set has two sizes of spoons, but only one size each of forks and knives.

Googling around the idea, I discovered that commercially-available silverware sets do in fact have two sizes of forks - regular forks, and smaller dessert forks.

But why doesn't mine have those?

Then I remembered why I swore off dessert forks...


Once upon a time, back when we were small children, my sister was setting the table. She put a regular fork at every place setting except mine. At my place setting, she put a dessert fork, saying it's a smaller, baby fork because I'm a baby.

I didn't want to be a baby! I didn't want the humiliation of eating with a small baby fork when everyone else is eating with proper grownup forks!

So I stopped using them.

When one appeared at my place setting, I'd swap it out for a normal fork. When we were having cake, I'd use a normal fork. I never once touched or even thought about dessert forks.
 

Fastforward 15ish years.

I was preparing to move into my own apartment by appropriating kitchenware from my parents' kitchen. I took some forks and some knives and some big spoons and some little spoons, and didn't take any of the other irrelevant objects in the cutlery drawer.

I start out with what I appropriated from my parents, building my cutlery drawer over the years with a trip to Kitchen Stuff Plus whenever I ran out of something before the dishwasher got full. I never sought out new types of cutlery because I never had any reason to, just kept buying more of the same.
 
 
And after approximately 20 years of proceeding this way (and, perhaps, with the help of a head injury), my brain at some point deleted and overwrote the very existence of dessert forks.

All because one time my sister wanted to mock me via the medium of silverware.

Sunday, April 07, 2024

Hotel Hollywood (elementary school play)

When I was in elementary school (so sometime between 1985 and 1990), my school put on a school play called Hotel Hollywood.

I wasn't in the play, but it really stuck with me - I even mentally wrote what I didn't yet know was called fanfiction about it.

However, I'm not able to find any evidence of its existence on the recorded internet.

So here is everything I can remember about the elementary school play called Hotel Hollywood, which I encountered in the 1980s, but might be older than that.

- There was a character called Quiggley and a character called Quiggy. I remember them as being unaffiliated with each other, although in retrospect that seems less likely. (Although I also remember experiencing the emotion of being surprised that Quiggley and Quiggy were unaffiliated with each other, so perhaps it was a deliberate red herring.)

- One of the characters was a Shirley Temple expy with her hair in ringlets.

- One of the characters was a girl whose father made her dress up as a boy so she could be a partner in his business. (The play was set in the non-specific (to my child self) Olden Days when a girl couldn't be a partner in a business.)

- When the girl dressed as a boy comes out as a girl, she sings a song that starts with "I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm gonna let my hair flow free."

- The only other song I remember from the play:

We're gonna be in the movies
We're gonna be in the movies
A Hollywood motion picture show

We're gonna be in the movies
We're gonna be in the movies
A Hollywood star that everyone will know

I want to sing the latest love song
Step the latest dance
Be a hero! Be a clown!
Comedy or romance

We're gonna be in the movies
The glitter glamour movies
A Hollywood motion picture show!