Saturday, May 31, 2008

Open Letters to my cosmetics

Dear Jolen: Your bleach is without question the best on the market, but your packaging is very user-unfriendly. Please provide proportionate ratios of cream and powder, a larger and bowl-shaped mixing thing, and a larger spatula that's appropriate for applying arm-sized quantities.

Dear Olay Definity Eye Illuminator: You are a miracle and well worth the higher price. I can never use anything else ever again. However, you are egregiously over-packaged. Seriously, it's ridiculous. Please get reasonable packaging.

Dear Sally Hansen Hard as Nails Xtreme Wear: I think you have the best cost/quality ratio I've ever met. I've been wearing your Indigo nail colour for a week now, and it has only chipped the tiniest most imperceptible amount and still looks completely civilized. Please get some nice subtle professional-looking colours in addition to the fun colours you have now, and I'll wear you every day forever.

Dear Rimmel Vinyl Gloss: I love you, but your container leaks when it gets tipped sideways in my purse. Please fix this.

Dear Rimmel Professional Liquid Eyeliner: You're a very good product and have the best brush ever. How about a waterproof version too?

2 comments:

laura k said...

Dear Olay Definity Eye Illuminator: You are a miracle and well worth the higher price. I can never use anything else ever again.

Wow, is it really?? I would like to use all these Olay products, because I generally like them, but...

you are egregiously over-packaged. Seriously, it's ridiculous. Please get reasonable packaging.

...this is why I don't. The packaging bothers me so much I can't stand it. I can't stand knowing I'm paying mostly for all that packaging, in addition to the environmental waste.

Knowing the product is that good now makes it harder to resist.

impudent strumpet said...

Actually, I should clarify. The thing that makes it miraculous doesn't apply to everyone. I have really dark skin around my eyes. It's darker than what you're picturing, it is the actual colour of the skin as opposed to the thin-skin-plus-blue-veins combination, and no, a good night's sleep doesn't fix it. It's darker than I've ever seen on another white person. I've occasionally seen the same thing on South Asian people, but that's about it.

The illuminating function of this product is what is miraculous, because it makes my freakish eye skin look about halfway to a normal person. It has these reflecty things in it that actually do make the skin around my eyes look lighter by bouncing light out of the dark corners. I've never seen another moisturizer do this, which is why I'm now addicted to it.

But in terms of moisturizing and dealing with wrinkles, it's just as good as anything else, at least for me. (I don't have dry skin in general although the skin around my eyes can be fussy.) So if your top priority is moisturizing, you don't especially need this particular product.