Sunday, May 11, 2008

Memes we need: your body is always and constantly changing

I think we sort of have the idea in our culture that your body Changes in puberty until you become A Woman (unless, of course, you become A Man), and then it stays the same and you are A Woman. And then one day, some time in the distant future, you Get Old and your body changes again and then you're an Old Lady.

But in real life, your body changes every single day. As a child, before you've even heard of puberty, you grow every day. Then puberty happens and I don't need to go into THAT mess. But even after you're done puberty, your body still changes every day. Even something small, like you get a zit or a scar. I think we sort of have a tacit cultural expectation that your body stays the same for a huge chunk of adulthood. People are expected to know what they weigh or what their measurements or dress size are, as though these things are constant. So then when your body doesn't stay constant, you feel like something is going wrong.

So maybe everyone would be happier if we standardized the idea that your body is always changing, every single day, and it never stays the same and the fact that it's changing isn't anything particularly special (while retaining compassion for the poor kids who are dealing with puberty).

2 comments:

laura k said...

I have thought this so many times! You are so right.

I've also thought about this in psychological/emotional terms. When I was younger, I imagined there'd be a time when I was all "finished" - done changing, the complete me. Of course that's ridiculous.

impudent strumpet said...

(I typoed the headline! How embarrassing!)

You're right, it works psychologically and emotionally too! I wish I'd thought of this earlier, I've spent so much time and energy either waiting to be finished, or worrying that I wasn't finished yet when I thought I was supposed to be, or thinking that I was finished and worrying that I wasn't in the same league as people who had had a head start.