Sunday, January 09, 2005

"Miss"?

One thing I don't understand is why some young men (generally athletic types) would use "Miss" to refer to a woman, especially an older woman, in a position of authority. Particularly when her position of authority confers upon her a ready-made title.

For example, one of my classmates, who can't be older than 20, calls our prof "Miss", even though she is definitely over 30, and most likely around 40. Why not call her "Professor?" (She is, in fact, an official professor, albeit a visiting professor, with a doctorate and everything). And once when I was in 4th year there were some police officers on our campus (long irrelevant story). One of my co-workers, who was probably 23/24 at the time, went up to one of the officers (I don't know how old she was) and addressed her as "Miss". Whatever happened to "Officer"? I thought that was the standard way to address police officers.

They seem to be attempting to use it as a sign of respect, because I have seen instances where people who address women in authority as "Miss" would address a strange woman they perceive as an equal without calling her anything - just like you'd address a casual acquaintance or a random classmate. It's also strange in that it seems to come from younger men. Ever since I started dressing in office clothes and walking around with an official security clearance badge, older men who need to at least go through the motions of perceiving me to be in authority (i.e. situations where I'm the customer, or random citizens coming into the building asking for directions) always address me as "Ma'am". I still get "Miss" sometimes when I'm dressed casually, low-rise jeans with my hair long, but that's what I get for dressing like a teenager. However, it doesn't feel like a sign of respect when it's said to me - it feels like a socially acceptable substitute for "Random girl whose name I don't know and upon whom I don't care to confer any more respect than strictly necessary". So I wonder what led this certain demographic of young men to believe that "Miss" is an acceptable way to address a woman in authority?

3 comments:

Fran said...

So I wonder what led this certain demographic of young men to believe that "Miss" is an acceptable way to address a woman in authority?Just a guess, but I think it could be because most of their previous experience with women in authority was in their elementary and secondary school years. When I was in high school, "Miss Dempsey" was "Miss Dempsey," even though she was 60+ and had been around longer than the furniture.

I don't think "Ms." ever really caught on (or least not enough to erase "Miss" or "Mrs." ) and "ma'am" seems to me almost a relic of an earlier era than mine. So I think it's just the way they've been conditioned. I think after being used calling their teachers "Miss Smith" or "Miss Jones" all their life, it's just natural for them to call your professor "Miss Johnson,"--or just plain "Miss."

(This is Fran, btw)

Black Domina said...

I think as a society, we should move past these markers of status. We are all human beings and I don't see the need to put these un-needed titles in front of our names. It just furthers the separation of classes and creates an atmosphere of I'm Better Than You. It would be much nicer if we were all on a first name basis.

sic said...

Maybe it's just me, but if you don't know my name, I'll take Miss over Ma'am, Baby, or Sweetie. I will also accept You There.