Attention unpleasant middle-aged men with mustaches on the subway: Shut up when the loudspeaker is announcing potential emergencies. Let people who are trying to stand up stand up. And you don't need a pager AND a cellphone, really you don't.

Attention terminologists: memory is not the same as disk space. Even if people frequently confuse them, that's no reason to standardize the incorrect usage!

Attention LCBO: don't advertise wines you don't have.

Attention Dominion: all I want is some lemon butter cookies, and some thai instant noodles while they're on sale. Is that too much to ask?

Attention Fairweather: why must all your good clothes be in the petites section? Would it be that hard to make them in regular sizes?

Attention Loblaw's: some of those taste Emmenthal and veggie sandwiches you used to have last year would be appreciated. Also, having someone behind the counter where that penne and asparagus salad is would be good too.

Attention guy on the escalator-ramp-thing: I'm sure you don't know this, but these escalator ramps are not very practical if you're wearing hard-soled women's shoes. If you stand still in such a way that I can't pass you, I have to stand still too. And when I stand still, the only thing keeping me from sliding backwards is the strength of my skinny little arms.

Attention Toronto Humane Society: yes, I like animals. No, I'm not going to give you money when you accost me while I'm waiting to cross the street. Especially not if you do it every day. I would, however, be happy to take any kind of puppy or cute furry animal that could live happily in a 500 square foot apartment with no one home for 9 hours out of the day. Seriously.

Attention over-suntanned guy outside of Starbucks every morning: if you have nothing to do except tan and sit outside of Starbucks, why bother to get up so early?