Telling an atheist that you're sure they'll find god soon is a dis. I know it doesn't sound that way to you. I know you think you're saying "This great and wonderful thing that changed my life will happen to you soon!" But to an atheist whose atheism came from careful thought (and I don't know any whose didn't, although I'd imagine it could also be the result of growing up in a household without religion), it sounds like anything from "Soon you'll see that I'm right and you're wrong!" to "Soon you'll come to realize what a wonderful man your abusive ex is and go crawling back to him!" Just...don't say it.
Edited to add the most obvious analogy in human history: religious people, how would you feel if smiling and enthusiastically told you that I'm sure you'll lose your religion soon?
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Additional note to religious people: telling an atheist you'll pray for him or her is roughly equivalent to them saying "I think I'll have some pie for dessert." It's uninteresting, doesn't matter, doesn't change their lives in any way.
But they probably think less of you when you say it.
The only difference being that there have been a few occurrences in human history where people have been moved to reply with "Oooh, pie! Good idea, I think I'll join you."
In my experience, "I'll pray for you" comes from a place of caring. The person feels prayer is how she can help me. It means she's thinking of me and cares.
She's not asking me to pray. She's not asking me to change.
Whereas telling me I'll find god is saying a big FUCK YOU to my own personal beliefs.
It's like telling a lesbian she just hasn't met the right man yet.
(Unless M@ meant the person is going to pray for you to find god??? In which case, this does not apply.)
That's what was so weird about the situation that led me to blog this. The person honestly truly seriously thought they were saying something nice. It wasn't prosteletyzing (sp???). It was meant in almost exactly the same way that someone would tell a pregnant lady that she's going to be a great mom. But it was SUCH a misfire.
I realise that "I'll pray for you" is usually meant in a nice way, and isn't necessarily proselytizing. I don't react or anything. But it's a completely inert statement, as far as I'm concerned. And it does irk me a little when people just assume other people are religious (not to mention the exact same religion as them).
I'll admit that it would be nice to have something that easy to say when someone's died. (To the bereaved, I mean, of course.) The religious stock phrases seem much more apt. It's the one way that becoming atheist has made my life more difficult.
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