Today a couple of 40-ish men approached looking festive in not-quite-matching pink shirts and funky shoes. I approached them as we do to be helpful and to avoid line-crashing, and said, “We’re asking people what service they need access to in City Hall because not everything is open due to the strike.” Tax collection and permits for example, are closed; Service Canada, the library, and marriage licenses are open.
One of the men flushed slightly and assured me in a southern American accent, “We know where we’re going is open.” But he didn’t tell me what they were doing inside.
They were going to get married, but they were embarrassed/hesitant/afraid/reluctant to tell people!
Imagine that headspace! You're getting married - like in just a few minutes - but you feel that you can't or shouldn't tell randoms! Personally, if my marriage was so forbidden or socially frowned upon, and I was literally on my way to get married, I'd be shouting it from the rooftops. "We're getting MARRIED and there's not a damn thing you can do about it! See this piece of paper? Booyah!" But these guys, even though they're in another country where same-sex marriage is totally allowed and on their way to the actual place where same-sex marriages are performed on a daily basis, still didn't feel they could tell people. That's a bit sad, and yet somehow a bit more romantic.
But then think about it the other way around. You're about to get married to your same-sex partner, and in your headspace your relationship is so socially taboo you don't want to openly admit it even in a foreign country. Then you arrive at City Hall only to find demonstrators hindering access! Then it turns out they don't even blink at your same-sex marriage, they just want to make sure you aren't lining up for a service that isn't open, and maybe pass on some literature about why the City's offer is inadequate. That would be cognitive dissonance.
In any case, congratulations, gentlemen, wherever you are.
5 comments:
Thanks for your post! Just to give you a bit more background, we picketers give every couple going into City Hall for a marriage license (if they tell us) a lusty "Da-da-da-da" version of the Wedding March on their way in. Most of them even like it! And we haven't heard even one muttered homophobic or anti-gay-marriage comment from the picketers in our group which we think is pretty cool and shows the progressive mindset of city workers.
Lastly, just to follow up on the couple in question: they did look pretty happy as they left the building so it appears they enjoyed their trip to Toronto.
That is awesome! If I were getting married, I'd totally throw my bouquet to your picket line.
Interesting to note that the description of the couple describes them as wearing pink shirts. Did you have that on your mind when you wrote this?
I'm glad TorontoStriker followed up. :)
@Partisan Hobo: Actually I wasn't thinking of it at all, at least not consciously. The pink thing randomly came to me during a 3:00 ennui at work.
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