When people become parents, they seem to lose the ability to identify with the child half of the parent-child relationship. Even when thinking in the abstract about situations that don't involve themselves or their kids, they can never seem to get past "How would I feel if I were in that kid's parents' situation?" to reach "How would I feel if I were in that kid's situation?"
This is strange. All parents have been kids. Every parent I've ever talked to can still remember things from when they were kids. They can think about their favourite toy or their first crush or a teacher they hated and remember how they felt in that situation. So why don't they seem able to think about how their child self would have felt in a parent-child situation?
Someone should really study this from a psychological and neurological perspective.
1 comment:
This is an "adult" problem in general. Sometime after their first mortgage, parents are now easily convinced that:
1) Being bullied is a character-building experience.
2) School is "really" a fun place with only occasional annoying tests.
3) Being a teenager constitutes the "best years" of a person's life.
Really--adults DO believe this stuff. I am nearly 60, also a parent, and yet I would never buy ANY of the above, any more than the 8- or 18-year-old "me" would have.
Even worse, others whose memories are easily wiped of childhood suffering go on to become educational bureaucrats with jurisdiction over dozens of schools.
Post a Comment