Sunday, August 14, 2005
Cypress Cabernet Sauvignon
I like this one, because it's much fruitier than cab. sauvs. usually are. I don't know if that means it's a good cab. sauv. or a bad cav. sauv., but I like it. It also has a screwcap, which the label calls a "Stelvin closure", perhaps to avoid getting stuck with the "screwcap wine" reputation. Or perhaps so that when people Google for screwcap wine, they won't come up with Cypress. Well, I have just foiled that nefarious scheme!
Friday, August 12, 2005
Interrogating political candidates
Anyone who wants to be leader of a country should be asked, and have to publically answer the following question:
"How would you effectively resolve [situation*] without using any military force whatsoever?"
*[situation] being any still-relevant situation that is currently or was recently addressed by the country in question or one of its allies through the use of military force.
Regardless of whether you are a pacifist, or you believe military force is sometimes justified, or you're something of an enthusiast looking for any opportunity to war-monger (or is it monger war?), the answers that potential leaders give to that question would be very enlightening indeed.
"How would you effectively resolve [situation*] without using any military force whatsoever?"
*[situation] being any still-relevant situation that is currently or was recently addressed by the country in question or one of its allies through the use of military force.
Regardless of whether you are a pacifist, or you believe military force is sometimes justified, or you're something of an enthusiast looking for any opportunity to war-monger (or is it monger war?), the answers that potential leaders give to that question would be very enlightening indeed.
Two public service announcements
1. We know the term Indian used to be used to refer to North American Aboriginal people, and we know that term is inaccurate and outdated. There are many words and phrases that can be used instead, depending on the context. However, the phrase "Native Indian" is not one of these. "Native Indian" implies, even more so than "Indian", a native of India. It only exacerbates the problem with the term Indian.
2. If you are loudly discussing the purchase and sale of illegal narcotics, it isn't a bad idea to switch away from English when you hear a stranger approaching. However, switching to Spanish may not grant you total privacy, because a great many people speak Spanish. Not only is it a common world language, but it is also taught in schools. Try Basque or Guarani or Xo if you want a language that passer-by are les likely to understand.
This has been a public service announcement.
2. If you are loudly discussing the purchase and sale of illegal narcotics, it isn't a bad idea to switch away from English when you hear a stranger approaching. However, switching to Spanish may not grant you total privacy, because a great many people speak Spanish. Not only is it a common world language, but it is also taught in schools. Try Basque or Guarani or Xo if you want a language that passer-by are les likely to understand.
This has been a public service announcement.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
You can't compare price per volume of different products!
Attention people who keep comparing the cost per litre of gasoline with the cost per litre of other consumer products:
IT IS NOT AN APT COMPARISON!
Different products are used in different quantities and for different things.
Water/coffee/alcohol/vinegar/perfume are used for completely different things than gasoline, and different quantities consitute a "serving".
Parallel comparisons: When baking, you use several cups of flour and only a pinch of baking powder. Therefore, a litre of flour will not last nearly as long as a litre of baking powder, so it doesn't make sense for them to cost the same.
I use a generous dollop of shampoo every day, but only a spritz or two of perfume on special occasions. Therefore, a litre of shampoo won't last nearly as long as a litre of perfume, so it doesn't make sense for them to cost the same.
In a typical day, I drink one glass of wine and several litres of water. Therefore, a litre of wine will last me far longer than a litre of water, so it doesn't make sense for them to cost the same.
If you must insist on comparing the cost of gasoline with the cost of other products, compare the price of how much you need to get through the typical day, not how much it costs per litre. A litre is meaningless as a basis for comparison.
IT IS NOT AN APT COMPARISON!
Different products are used in different quantities and for different things.
Water/coffee/alcohol/vinegar/perfume are used for completely different things than gasoline, and different quantities consitute a "serving".
Parallel comparisons: When baking, you use several cups of flour and only a pinch of baking powder. Therefore, a litre of flour will not last nearly as long as a litre of baking powder, so it doesn't make sense for them to cost the same.
I use a generous dollop of shampoo every day, but only a spritz or two of perfume on special occasions. Therefore, a litre of shampoo won't last nearly as long as a litre of perfume, so it doesn't make sense for them to cost the same.
In a typical day, I drink one glass of wine and several litres of water. Therefore, a litre of wine will last me far longer than a litre of water, so it doesn't make sense for them to cost the same.
If you must insist on comparing the cost of gasoline with the cost of other products, compare the price of how much you need to get through the typical day, not how much it costs per litre. A litre is meaningless as a basis for comparison.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Things They Should Invent: reduced rent for non-air-conditioned rental housing
There was some discussion a month or two ago about the possibility of requiring landlords to provide air conditioning in the summer (the same as they're required to provide heating in the winter), but for various reasons that was found to be a non-viable idea.
However, we still have the problem that many people, including the poorest, are living in non-air-conditioned housing in this ridiculous weather, and either aren't able to afford a window air-conditioner, or aren't able to afford the increased electricity bill.
So I propose a solution: if the landlord is unable or unwilling to provide air conditioning, they must provide a rent reduction for each day when the temperature (including humidex) exceeds a certain threshold. The tenant can take this as compensation for their inconvenience, and perhaps use the money to purchase an air conditioner themselves.
A few sample formulae for how this would work out. I'm going to use 26 as the threshold because it makes sense to me. Please note that I have no idea what landlord profit margins are like, so I don't know if the numbers themselves are plausible
The simplest formula is that the percentage rent reduction for the day is equal to the maximum temperature (including humidex) for that day. Let's assume that the monthly rent is $900, which is a bit low, but it's a nice round number to work with. That would work out to $30 rent per day. Now, today the temperature reached a high of 39 with humidex. So you'd get a 39% discount on your rent. That's a discount of $11.70, which means that for today you'd pay $18.30 rent instead of $30.
Another possible fomula would be to take into consideration both the daytime high and the nighttime low. This is because there is a huge difference between a hot day with a cool, fresh night and a hot day when the humidity does not break overnight. So suppose the percentage discount is the average of the daytime high and the nighttime low. The highest temperature today was 39. The lowest the temperature (with humidex) reached last night was 29. That makes an average of 34. So the rent would be reduced by 34%, a reduction of $10.20, for a total day's rent of $19.80. But if the overnight temperature had gone down to a nice balmy 15, there would be a rent reduction of only 27%.
These rent reductions might sound extreme, but they're using extreme temperatures. Using the threshold of 26 and weather records from The Weather Network, there would be no rent reduction whatsoever on a statistically normal day.
If utilities are included in the rent, the landlord shouldn't have to pay as much of the rent reduction, because they'll be absorbing some of the cost of operating an air conditioner, should the tenant be able to purchase one.
However, we still have the problem that many people, including the poorest, are living in non-air-conditioned housing in this ridiculous weather, and either aren't able to afford a window air-conditioner, or aren't able to afford the increased electricity bill.
So I propose a solution: if the landlord is unable or unwilling to provide air conditioning, they must provide a rent reduction for each day when the temperature (including humidex) exceeds a certain threshold. The tenant can take this as compensation for their inconvenience, and perhaps use the money to purchase an air conditioner themselves.
A few sample formulae for how this would work out. I'm going to use 26 as the threshold because it makes sense to me. Please note that I have no idea what landlord profit margins are like, so I don't know if the numbers themselves are plausible
The simplest formula is that the percentage rent reduction for the day is equal to the maximum temperature (including humidex) for that day. Let's assume that the monthly rent is $900, which is a bit low, but it's a nice round number to work with. That would work out to $30 rent per day. Now, today the temperature reached a high of 39 with humidex. So you'd get a 39% discount on your rent. That's a discount of $11.70, which means that for today you'd pay $18.30 rent instead of $30.
Another possible fomula would be to take into consideration both the daytime high and the nighttime low. This is because there is a huge difference between a hot day with a cool, fresh night and a hot day when the humidity does not break overnight. So suppose the percentage discount is the average of the daytime high and the nighttime low. The highest temperature today was 39. The lowest the temperature (with humidex) reached last night was 29. That makes an average of 34. So the rent would be reduced by 34%, a reduction of $10.20, for a total day's rent of $19.80. But if the overnight temperature had gone down to a nice balmy 15, there would be a rent reduction of only 27%.
These rent reductions might sound extreme, but they're using extreme temperatures. Using the threshold of 26 and weather records from The Weather Network, there would be no rent reduction whatsoever on a statistically normal day.
If utilities are included in the rent, the landlord shouldn't have to pay as much of the rent reduction, because they'll be absorbing some of the cost of operating an air conditioner, should the tenant be able to purchase one.
Monday, August 08, 2005
The Line of Beauty by Alan Hollinghurst
I felt vaguely dissatisfied with this book. I can't quite place why. I spent most of the book wondering why the protagonist never had to deal with the consequences of his actions, but then when the consequences did come about, I found myself thinking "But that's not fair!"
I think it's quite possible that I didn't fully "get" it because of the cultural divide. The setting is in the British upper classes in the 1980s, which is as foreign to me as, like, Cajuns on the bayou in 1806. I'm sure there were some elements of interpersonal relationships that the authors intended as a given but I completely missed.
However, there were two things I particularly enjoyed about this book:
1. It showed the protagonist before he knew about AIDS and after he knew about AIDS. This was interesting because I've never not known about AIDS. I knew what AIDS was before I knew what sex was. Obviously I didn't fully comprehend what AIDS was, but I knew it was some kind of stigmatized disease that men got, although public service announcements said that we shouldn't stigmatize it. I also knew it had something to do with "being gay" (although I didn't know what gay meant at the time - it was one of those indefinite schoolyard insults). I also knew at the time that "condoms" (which I didn't know what they were - I had once seen an item that my classmates identified as a condom, but it looked like a balloon to me so I figured they were mistaken) had something to do with "being gay", although I wasn't able to make all the connections, probably because I didn't know what a penis was or how it worked or what it could be used for. Anyway, what with having, for all intents and purposes, always known about AIDS, I found it really bizarre that the protagonist in this book initially didn't. After he was presented with enough information for me to determine that his lover's previous lover had AIDS, I found myself yelling at the book "What are you doing? Use a condom you fuckwit!" Then, as it later became clear, he didn't know. He had no idea that his lover's lover's illness was a deadly STD. Because he didn't know that there was such thing as a deadly STD. That was all very bizarre and surreal, but it was an important reminder that in the first few years of AIDS being spread, people didn't know! That has honestly never occurred to me before. However, the book isn't about AIDS, it's just a minor plot presence
2. Because the book is about gay relationships in the context of the British upper classes, the book sometimeshas a lovely posh party that, with different costumes and language, could be straight out of Jane Austen, then some of the characters suddenly slip into the bathroom and engage in activities that would be a bit too hardcore for an R-rated movie. This was all quite helpful in getting little old ladies on the subway to stop reading over my shoulder. Then, after they'd been duly shocked/offended/titillated, I could shift the book into a vertical position to show them that I was, in fact, reading Booker Prize-winning literature.
I think it's quite possible that I didn't fully "get" it because of the cultural divide. The setting is in the British upper classes in the 1980s, which is as foreign to me as, like, Cajuns on the bayou in 1806. I'm sure there were some elements of interpersonal relationships that the authors intended as a given but I completely missed.
However, there were two things I particularly enjoyed about this book:
1. It showed the protagonist before he knew about AIDS and after he knew about AIDS. This was interesting because I've never not known about AIDS. I knew what AIDS was before I knew what sex was. Obviously I didn't fully comprehend what AIDS was, but I knew it was some kind of stigmatized disease that men got, although public service announcements said that we shouldn't stigmatize it. I also knew it had something to do with "being gay" (although I didn't know what gay meant at the time - it was one of those indefinite schoolyard insults). I also knew at the time that "condoms" (which I didn't know what they were - I had once seen an item that my classmates identified as a condom, but it looked like a balloon to me so I figured they were mistaken) had something to do with "being gay", although I wasn't able to make all the connections, probably because I didn't know what a penis was or how it worked or what it could be used for. Anyway, what with having, for all intents and purposes, always known about AIDS, I found it really bizarre that the protagonist in this book initially didn't. After he was presented with enough information for me to determine that his lover's previous lover had AIDS, I found myself yelling at the book "What are you doing? Use a condom you fuckwit!" Then, as it later became clear, he didn't know. He had no idea that his lover's lover's illness was a deadly STD. Because he didn't know that there was such thing as a deadly STD. That was all very bizarre and surreal, but it was an important reminder that in the first few years of AIDS being spread, people didn't know! That has honestly never occurred to me before. However, the book isn't about AIDS, it's just a minor plot presence
2. Because the book is about gay relationships in the context of the British upper classes, the book sometimeshas a lovely posh party that, with different costumes and language, could be straight out of Jane Austen, then some of the characters suddenly slip into the bathroom and engage in activities that would be a bit too hardcore for an R-rated movie. This was all quite helpful in getting little old ladies on the subway to stop reading over my shoulder. Then, after they'd been duly shocked/offended/titillated, I could shift the book into a vertical position to show them that I was, in fact, reading Booker Prize-winning literature.
Linguistic thoughts of the day
1. Why is produce called produce?
2. Why would anyone spell Krakow with C's instead of K's (i.e. "Cracow"), when using K's yields the correct pronunciation in any language?
3. Words that absolutely require hyphens: re-creation, re-sign, re-sent
2. Why would anyone spell Krakow with C's instead of K's (i.e. "Cracow"), when using K's yields the correct pronunciation in any language?
3. Words that absolutely require hyphens: re-creation, re-sign, re-sent
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Kudos to Massolit Books in Krakow
Mad props to Massolit Books in Krakow for excellent customer service! I ordered a dictionary from them that turned out to be bound incorrectly, and they are shipping me a replacement free of charge. I don't even have to send the first dictionary back!
They also were able to communicate by email in excellent English, addressed me as Ms. Lastname (thus correctly identifying me as female - it's a bit tricky because, while my name is common, it's grammatically masculine in Polish), and basically resolved the issue in the best possible way, despite the fact that the cost of shipping a second book severely cuts into their profits from this sale.
I will certainly be making an effort to buy from them again, should I ever find myself in a position where I need English-language books from Poland, or more Polish reference books.
They also were able to communicate by email in excellent English, addressed me as Ms. Lastname (thus correctly identifying me as female - it's a bit tricky because, while my name is common, it's grammatically masculine in Polish), and basically resolved the issue in the best possible way, despite the fact that the cost of shipping a second book severely cuts into their profits from this sale.
I will certainly be making an effort to buy from them again, should I ever find myself in a position where I need English-language books from Poland, or more Polish reference books.
Kudos to Michaëlle Jean
Mad props to Canada's new Governor General for very publicly stating that she intends to enrol her daughter in public school! There is far too much anti-public school sentiment out there, and Her Excellency is doing a valuable service by choosing public school for her daughter.
Materialism
Things I currently feel tempted to buy:
1. An iPod
2. Expensive makeup
3. A PVR or VCR or something that can record TV shows
Luckily all I have to do to stop myself from this gratuitous consumerism is check my bank account balance, which still clearly shows the effects of having bought a computer with more upgrades than strictly necessary.
1. An iPod
2. Expensive makeup
3. A PVR or VCR or something that can record TV shows
Luckily all I have to do to stop myself from this gratuitous consumerism is check my bank account balance, which still clearly shows the effects of having bought a computer with more upgrades than strictly necessary.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Famiglia Bianchi Malbec
No, I don't know why an Argentine wine has an Italian name. At any rate, this wine doesn't really do it for me. It has kind of a tannic or otherwise musty/smokey flavour, with fruity undertones. I much prefer the opposite - fruity flavour with tannic undertones. I don't know if that's how malbec is supposed to be or if it's just this particular wine, but this one is not for me.
Things They Should Invent: a more effective way to remove blackheads
We've all seen those Bioré nose strips, where you stick them to your nose and wait a bit, then rip them off and they rip all the blackheads out. They're very effective (although not permanent) for the nose, but even the "face" versions are difficult to use on other parts of the face and body. Blackheads appear in all kinds of strange places, like the crease of the chin, or the divet under the nose, that these strips just won't get at properly.
So what they need is something along the lines of the Nair wax that forms its own strip. You just apply some kind of goop to areas that have blackheads, wait for it to harden, then peel it off all in one piece, and it will take the blackheads with it. It could come with a bottle with various types of applicator nozzles, from a tiny pen for doing the crease of your chin, to a big fan-like thing for if you want to do, say, your entire back.
So what they need is something along the lines of the Nair wax that forms its own strip. You just apply some kind of goop to areas that have blackheads, wait for it to harden, then peel it off all in one piece, and it will take the blackheads with it. It could come with a bottle with various types of applicator nozzles, from a tiny pen for doing the crease of your chin, to a big fan-like thing for if you want to do, say, your entire back.
Friday, August 05, 2005
An open letter to Stephen Harper
Dear Mr. Harper,
Thank you for putting the idea of tax deductions for transit passes out there for public dialogue. It's an excellent idea whose time has come.
However, it is not enough to make me even consider voting for you.
Your party has been actively working against same-sex marriage and promoting privatization of our health care system. When I read your party's platform in depth prior to the 2004 election, I remember distinctly that you would not be strengthening the social safety net in any way, and some of your policies may even have been a threat to my livelihood.
I calculated that a tax deductible transit pass would save me less money than I earn in a day. That is nowhere near enough to make me even think about reconsidering my voting priorities. In fact, I would personally pay you that amount to withdraw your candidate from my riding, if that were at all a plausible or ethical thing to do. Basically, your party goes against everything I need from a government and everything I want my federal government to stand for, and one or two hundred dollars back in my pocket isn't going to change that.
Mr. Harper, try harder next time.
Other parties, why not add this idea to your own platforms?
Thank you for putting the idea of tax deductions for transit passes out there for public dialogue. It's an excellent idea whose time has come.
However, it is not enough to make me even consider voting for you.
Your party has been actively working against same-sex marriage and promoting privatization of our health care system. When I read your party's platform in depth prior to the 2004 election, I remember distinctly that you would not be strengthening the social safety net in any way, and some of your policies may even have been a threat to my livelihood.
I calculated that a tax deductible transit pass would save me less money than I earn in a day. That is nowhere near enough to make me even think about reconsidering my voting priorities. In fact, I would personally pay you that amount to withdraw your candidate from my riding, if that were at all a plausible or ethical thing to do. Basically, your party goes against everything I need from a government and everything I want my federal government to stand for, and one or two hundred dollars back in my pocket isn't going to change that.
Mr. Harper, try harder next time.
Other parties, why not add this idea to your own platforms?
Thursday, August 04, 2005
How to have a family of orphans in Sims 2
I figured out how to have a family of orphans without them getting taken away by the social worker. This only works if the oldest child is at the "child" or "teen" level - if you only have babies and toddlers, you're stuck.
As soon as the last grownup in the house dies, maybe even while they are dying, have one of the children phone the nanny service. If you have a teen in the house, you can have them track the teen's schedule and only send a nanny over when the teen isn't home. If there are no teens, you have them send over a nanny "just for now." The nanny won't leave if the kids aren't proerly supervised. However, she might die or get stuck. If this happens, have them send another nanny over. Of course, if your family is just children and teens and the teen doesn't work, you don't need a nanny as long as you don't send the teen to school on a day when a child is home.
As soon as the last grownup in the house dies, maybe even while they are dying, have one of the children phone the nanny service. If you have a teen in the house, you can have them track the teen's schedule and only send a nanny over when the teen isn't home. If there are no teens, you have them send over a nanny "just for now." The nanny won't leave if the kids aren't proerly supervised. However, she might die or get stuck. If this happens, have them send another nanny over. Of course, if your family is just children and teens and the teen doesn't work, you don't need a nanny as long as you don't send the teen to school on a day when a child is home.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
A scientific discovery
Empirical evidence gathered throughout this summer demonstrates that thunderstorms occur in Toronto if and only if I'm wearing a light-coloured shirt that will go see-through if it gets wet.
So the overall dry weather we've been experiencing this summer is due entirely to the fact that I rarely wear light colours.
So the overall dry weather we've been experiencing this summer is due entirely to the fact that I rarely wear light colours.
Ravenswood Vintner's Blend Zinfandel
This was advertised as a "macho" wine, so I bought it just to see what a macho wine tastes like, as I've never before had a wine that evoked any sense of gender.
I think they call it "macho" because it's the kind of wine that would go well with a big slab of dead something cooked over a fire. Not really my thing, but it does serve a purpose.
It also has a very slight allusion to cigars and some kind of hard-core liquor (whiskey)? At least (given that I've never had a cigar and have only had a sip of whiskey, which was enough to determine I don't like it) it alludes to the smell of sitting an old man who's had cigars and whiskey on the GO bus, caught in a traffic jam on the QEW, which is not a good thing.
Therefore, I deem this wine to be the perfect accessory to smelly things that old men do to make themselves feel manly.
The funny thing is I never would have thought of any of these descriptions if the wine hadn't advertised itself as "macho" in the first place.
I think they call it "macho" because it's the kind of wine that would go well with a big slab of dead something cooked over a fire. Not really my thing, but it does serve a purpose.
It also has a very slight allusion to cigars and some kind of hard-core liquor (whiskey)? At least (given that I've never had a cigar and have only had a sip of whiskey, which was enough to determine I don't like it) it alludes to the smell of sitting an old man who's had cigars and whiskey on the GO bus, caught in a traffic jam on the QEW, which is not a good thing.
Therefore, I deem this wine to be the perfect accessory to smelly things that old men do to make themselves feel manly.
The funny thing is I never would have thought of any of these descriptions if the wine hadn't advertised itself as "macho" in the first place.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Unwanted attention
I've been getting far more unwanted negative attention from men this weekend than usual. That's particularly strange, because this weekend I have been taking no care whatsoever with my physical appearance. Every time I've left the house I've been alone and doing a pressure-free errand like grocery shopping or going to the library, so I've been dressing strictly for comfort and modesty in big long skirts, old unflattering t-shirts, and rather butch sandals. I haven't been wearing any makeup and my hair is generally in a sloppy bun because of the heat. I haven't been showing even a glimpse of thigh, midriff or cleavage, and in many cases I'm probably the least attractive person in my general vincinity. This makes no sense.
Maybe it's because when I make no effort whatsoever, the loudmouth assholes can no longer see that I'm out of their league?
Maybe it's because when I make no effort whatsoever, the loudmouth assholes can no longer see that I'm out of their league?
Why I choose not to take Pascal's wager
From a letter to the editor in the Toronto Star:
The reason I, personally, do not try to follow a faith that believes in a god is that for me, there is no god. I spent years under the impression that to be a good person one had to be thoroughly and devoutly religious, but my attempts to be religious were all fruitless. When I prayed, there was nothing there. It wasn't just that my prayers weren't answered, it wasn't even that whatever was supposed to be listening to my prayers was pretending not to listen it was more like talking to a brick wall or a disconnected phone. There was nothing there. I felt like a great dirty hypocrite every time I prayed or set foot in a church, because I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I would just be going through the motions and keeping up appearances, living a lie, which is surely a sin.
If I did choose to live by Pascal's wager and follow a faith, I would simply be living a lie. I would be nothing more than a liar and a hypocrite who just keeps up appearances in order to impress people. If it turned out that fait was correct, I would still be going to hell on judgement day because any deity worth the title of deity would be able to tell that I'd been living my life as a hypocrite, and surely wouldn't be too impressed that I'd thought I could fool an omniscient deity with a bit of genuflecting and a couple of Hail Marys.
However, I have instead chosen to put the energy that I used to use to fake piety into doing whatever I feel like, whatever feels good. What I feel like and what feels good is simply being the best possible version of myself I can be, the kind of person I've always wanted to be. The best possible outcome of this course of action is that I help a few people, make a few people happy, and leave the world a slightly better place. The worst possible outcome is that I won't have hurt anyone. So then if judgement day does come I might still end up going to hell as an atheist, but there's a slight chance that judgement transcends religion and I might go to heaven as a good person. In any case, I'm no worse off being true to myself and not putting large quantities of energy into living a lie.
I find it rather terrifying that there are people for whom "doing whatever they feel like, whatever feels good" is automatically equated with doing something bad or harmful, and the only thing stopping them from doing this is their belief in something that, despite half a lifetime of searching, simply does not exist for me.
How many people even think about Pascal's wager, which says that if we try to follow a faith that believes in God (and His commandments) and find out when we die that we were correct in that faith, we will have found salvation. And if we were wrong, we lost out on a bit of "fun."
But if we do not believe in God, and if we do whatever we like or whatever feels good, and in the final judgment find out that we were wrong, where will we be?
The reason I, personally, do not try to follow a faith that believes in a god is that for me, there is no god. I spent years under the impression that to be a good person one had to be thoroughly and devoutly religious, but my attempts to be religious were all fruitless. When I prayed, there was nothing there. It wasn't just that my prayers weren't answered, it wasn't even that whatever was supposed to be listening to my prayers was pretending not to listen it was more like talking to a brick wall or a disconnected phone. There was nothing there. I felt like a great dirty hypocrite every time I prayed or set foot in a church, because I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I would just be going through the motions and keeping up appearances, living a lie, which is surely a sin.
If I did choose to live by Pascal's wager and follow a faith, I would simply be living a lie. I would be nothing more than a liar and a hypocrite who just keeps up appearances in order to impress people. If it turned out that fait was correct, I would still be going to hell on judgement day because any deity worth the title of deity would be able to tell that I'd been living my life as a hypocrite, and surely wouldn't be too impressed that I'd thought I could fool an omniscient deity with a bit of genuflecting and a couple of Hail Marys.
However, I have instead chosen to put the energy that I used to use to fake piety into doing whatever I feel like, whatever feels good. What I feel like and what feels good is simply being the best possible version of myself I can be, the kind of person I've always wanted to be. The best possible outcome of this course of action is that I help a few people, make a few people happy, and leave the world a slightly better place. The worst possible outcome is that I won't have hurt anyone. So then if judgement day does come I might still end up going to hell as an atheist, but there's a slight chance that judgement transcends religion and I might go to heaven as a good person. In any case, I'm no worse off being true to myself and not putting large quantities of energy into living a lie.
I find it rather terrifying that there are people for whom "doing whatever they feel like, whatever feels good" is automatically equated with doing something bad or harmful, and the only thing stopping them from doing this is their belief in something that, despite half a lifetime of searching, simply does not exist for me.
The necessary everyday tasks of life
I can't sleep, despite the fact that it's raining, so I am going to document this.
Quite a lot of angst and strife in my childhood boils down to the fact that for my parents, eating is purely a chore. Something to get out of the way so they can get on with their day. For me it is more important than that - eating exactly the food I want is a source of joy, and being denied the opportunity to eat exactly the food I want is downright depressing. Upon further reflection, I realized that various everyday activities have different levels of importance for different people. So I'm going to write down how I feel about various everyday tasks - pleasurable? a hardship? neutral? - until I get tired and decide to go to sleep.
Eating: highly pleasurable when I can eat exactly what I feel like eating. This doesn't necessarily mean gourmet food, just what my body and my palate want. Not having access to the foods I crave over significant periods of time is very depressing. Being hungry makes me grumpy like a toddler - unfortunately it took me until about the age of 20 to realize this - and can also make me nauseous, which is rather counterproductive.
Drinking (water etc.): always pleasurable. I have a very low thirst tolerance, so a drink of cold water is always refreshing. Slight negative associations with being told to "stay hydrated", but really I'll stay hydrated by myself if left to my own devices with a drinking vessel and a source of cold water.
Going to the bathroom: always a positive experience. I use this time as a perfectly valid excuse for a mental break from whatever I'm doing, and the act of eliminating itself can be quite enjoyable when it is badly needed. This becomes a negative experience when suitable facilities are not available, but that has nothing to do with going to the bathroom itself and everything to do with icky crawly things.
Showering: a pleasurable experience, very relaxing, an excellent place to get thinking done. Negative only when unsuitable facilities are available - see above.
Brushing my teeth: neutral in most cases, a chore when I'm in a hurry or uncomfortable or exhausted
Hair removal: I think it averages out to neutral. The look and feel of having unwanted hair freshly removed is positive, but the actual maintenance work is quite the chore and I have no particular enjoyment of the process. This is such a precarious balance that I put more of a cost-benefit analysis into any decision to change my hair removal routine than most people put into taking out a loan.
Hair care: fraught with issues, but averages out to neutral.
Nail care: pleasurable by association. I've made a ritual of having a glass of wine and reading fanfic or gaming while doing my nails, so it's a perfectly valid one-hour vacation from my everyday duties.
Skin care: neutral, with small bursts of pleasure during particularly effective acne removal
Makeup: as a normal everyday activity, makeup is neutral, but if for whatever reason I don't have access to or am not permitted to apply makeup in a situation where I feel the need to do so, this becomes disproprotionately negative.
Selecting clothing: generally neutral, sometimes positive if I feel particularly pleased with what I get to wear, very occasionally negative if I feel completely displeased with what I have to wear
Shopping: neutral to negative. It's always a chore, but it can be a harmless chore if approached properly.
Laundry: quite the chore, but I have made it slightly positive by excusing myself from several other duties while I'm doing laundry
Dishes: one of my least favourite chores. I make it bearable by doing it in TV commercial breaks or while talking on the phone.
Exercising: a chore, completely negative. Not at all enjoyable. Strong negative associations. If I were permitted to be excused from one everyday real-life responsibility, it would be dealing with icky crawling things; if I were permitted to be excused from two everyday real-life responsibilities, it would be dealing with icky crawling things, and exercising. The only positive moments happen when my joints crack while I'm stretching them in yoga, but that's not at all worth the trouble.
Money management: neutral, but not something I like to discuss because it makes people cocky and smug.
Personal health care: mostly neutral, although phoning up to make appointments is somewhat of a chore just because I don't like making non-social phone calls in general.
Taking out garbage and recycling: very much a chore. I hate doing this.
Keeping up on current events: staying as informed as I, personally, want to be for my own personal needs is quite easy and pleasurable. Staying as informed as I should so that I'm qualified to participate knowledgeably in adult conversations is a bit of a chore, because I have to read articles that I'd normally just skim over. As a whole, this task tends towards pleasurable because I tend to stop when I'm no longer interested.
Commuting: in general I hate it, but I have arranged my life so that it isn't too time consuming and I can read on the way, which makes it lean very very slightly towards pleasurable.
Working: neutral overall. The fact that I have a job that's such a good fit for me is quite positive, but the fact that I have to be in the office and working at given times instead of sleeping or gaming is rather negative.
And, because I'm tired now...
Sleeping: The act of sleeping itself is always pleasurable, especially when I'm permitted all the REM sleep I need and a nice slow wake-up. But lying in bed waiting for sleep to overtake me can be slightly negative.
Quite a lot of angst and strife in my childhood boils down to the fact that for my parents, eating is purely a chore. Something to get out of the way so they can get on with their day. For me it is more important than that - eating exactly the food I want is a source of joy, and being denied the opportunity to eat exactly the food I want is downright depressing. Upon further reflection, I realized that various everyday activities have different levels of importance for different people. So I'm going to write down how I feel about various everyday tasks - pleasurable? a hardship? neutral? - until I get tired and decide to go to sleep.
Eating: highly pleasurable when I can eat exactly what I feel like eating. This doesn't necessarily mean gourmet food, just what my body and my palate want. Not having access to the foods I crave over significant periods of time is very depressing. Being hungry makes me grumpy like a toddler - unfortunately it took me until about the age of 20 to realize this - and can also make me nauseous, which is rather counterproductive.
Drinking (water etc.): always pleasurable. I have a very low thirst tolerance, so a drink of cold water is always refreshing. Slight negative associations with being told to "stay hydrated", but really I'll stay hydrated by myself if left to my own devices with a drinking vessel and a source of cold water.
Going to the bathroom: always a positive experience. I use this time as a perfectly valid excuse for a mental break from whatever I'm doing, and the act of eliminating itself can be quite enjoyable when it is badly needed. This becomes a negative experience when suitable facilities are not available, but that has nothing to do with going to the bathroom itself and everything to do with icky crawly things.
Showering: a pleasurable experience, very relaxing, an excellent place to get thinking done. Negative only when unsuitable facilities are available - see above.
Brushing my teeth: neutral in most cases, a chore when I'm in a hurry or uncomfortable or exhausted
Hair removal: I think it averages out to neutral. The look and feel of having unwanted hair freshly removed is positive, but the actual maintenance work is quite the chore and I have no particular enjoyment of the process. This is such a precarious balance that I put more of a cost-benefit analysis into any decision to change my hair removal routine than most people put into taking out a loan.
Hair care: fraught with issues, but averages out to neutral.
Nail care: pleasurable by association. I've made a ritual of having a glass of wine and reading fanfic or gaming while doing my nails, so it's a perfectly valid one-hour vacation from my everyday duties.
Skin care: neutral, with small bursts of pleasure during particularly effective acne removal
Makeup: as a normal everyday activity, makeup is neutral, but if for whatever reason I don't have access to or am not permitted to apply makeup in a situation where I feel the need to do so, this becomes disproprotionately negative.
Selecting clothing: generally neutral, sometimes positive if I feel particularly pleased with what I get to wear, very occasionally negative if I feel completely displeased with what I have to wear
Shopping: neutral to negative. It's always a chore, but it can be a harmless chore if approached properly.
Laundry: quite the chore, but I have made it slightly positive by excusing myself from several other duties while I'm doing laundry
Dishes: one of my least favourite chores. I make it bearable by doing it in TV commercial breaks or while talking on the phone.
Exercising: a chore, completely negative. Not at all enjoyable. Strong negative associations. If I were permitted to be excused from one everyday real-life responsibility, it would be dealing with icky crawling things; if I were permitted to be excused from two everyday real-life responsibilities, it would be dealing with icky crawling things, and exercising. The only positive moments happen when my joints crack while I'm stretching them in yoga, but that's not at all worth the trouble.
Money management: neutral, but not something I like to discuss because it makes people cocky and smug.
Personal health care: mostly neutral, although phoning up to make appointments is somewhat of a chore just because I don't like making non-social phone calls in general.
Taking out garbage and recycling: very much a chore. I hate doing this.
Keeping up on current events: staying as informed as I, personally, want to be for my own personal needs is quite easy and pleasurable. Staying as informed as I should so that I'm qualified to participate knowledgeably in adult conversations is a bit of a chore, because I have to read articles that I'd normally just skim over. As a whole, this task tends towards pleasurable because I tend to stop when I'm no longer interested.
Commuting: in general I hate it, but I have arranged my life so that it isn't too time consuming and I can read on the way, which makes it lean very very slightly towards pleasurable.
Working: neutral overall. The fact that I have a job that's such a good fit for me is quite positive, but the fact that I have to be in the office and working at given times instead of sleeping or gaming is rather negative.
And, because I'm tired now...
Sleeping: The act of sleeping itself is always pleasurable, especially when I'm permitted all the REM sleep I need and a nice slow wake-up. But lying in bed waiting for sleep to overtake me can be slightly negative.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Cystic acne as survival mechanism
For those of you are fortunate enough never to have experienced cystic acne, basically it's like a normal garden-variety zit, but bigger, denser and deeper. In my experience the zit itself is generally about the size of a chickpea (plus any residual inflammation), and down so deep in the skin that it won't necessarily come to head at all. When they occur in places like earlobes or nostrils, I can't initially tell what side they're going to come out on. They're generally big enough to cause a temporary visible deformity, and painful enough that there's an omnipresent nagging pain - the pain isn't debilitating or anything, but I am always aware of it, at all times.
When I have cystic acne I can still do and focus on the activities of everyday living. Despite the pain, I can still eat, sleep, translate, read, write, study, run errands, keep house, and do anything that needs doing. However, when my mind starts wandering beyond my immediate activities, and I start thinking about big, distant, long-term concerns like the security of my pension or the long-term effects of having what is basically an employment equity system for selecting the governor general or whether if I'm caught in a subway bombing I should run away from the explosion so I have a chance of escaping or run towards the explosion so I die as quickly as possible, when I start thinking about these sort of things, my cystic acne distracts me. I don't get very far into worrying about big, distant things before my mind wanders to just how painful that zit on my ear is and how cool it would be if it popped all in one piece and how I could maybe get it to pop if I approached it from a different angle or maybe I should put a hot compress on it and then try to pop it or maybe I should just try to dry it out. Maslow's hierarchy kicks in, and any attempts to worry about Big Issues get distracted by thinking about my own pain.
I think this is a survival mechanism. I always get cystic acne when I'm stressed. Before I learned the word "cystic" I called it "stress acne". I think my body produces these deep, painful zits on purpose so that I will be physically incapable of worrying about anything non-immediate. That way I can deal only with the immediate during stressful times so I don't make myself sick worrying about things that I can't do anything about at the moment. Then when my stress level lowers, the cystic acne goes away and I can worry about Big Issues as much as I want.
When I have cystic acne I can still do and focus on the activities of everyday living. Despite the pain, I can still eat, sleep, translate, read, write, study, run errands, keep house, and do anything that needs doing. However, when my mind starts wandering beyond my immediate activities, and I start thinking about big, distant, long-term concerns like the security of my pension or the long-term effects of having what is basically an employment equity system for selecting the governor general or whether if I'm caught in a subway bombing I should run away from the explosion so I have a chance of escaping or run towards the explosion so I die as quickly as possible, when I start thinking about these sort of things, my cystic acne distracts me. I don't get very far into worrying about big, distant things before my mind wanders to just how painful that zit on my ear is and how cool it would be if it popped all in one piece and how I could maybe get it to pop if I approached it from a different angle or maybe I should put a hot compress on it and then try to pop it or maybe I should just try to dry it out. Maslow's hierarchy kicks in, and any attempts to worry about Big Issues get distracted by thinking about my own pain.
I think this is a survival mechanism. I always get cystic acne when I'm stressed. Before I learned the word "cystic" I called it "stress acne". I think my body produces these deep, painful zits on purpose so that I will be physically incapable of worrying about anything non-immediate. That way I can deal only with the immediate during stressful times so I don't make myself sick worrying about things that I can't do anything about at the moment. Then when my stress level lowers, the cystic acne goes away and I can worry about Big Issues as much as I want.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Creekside Estate Cabernet
This is rather the quintessential red. It's very dark, in colour and in flavour, but it's everything a red wine should be. And you've got to love a winery that is confident enough to put "fabulous with cheeseburgers!" on their label blurb!
Opinions please
I ordered a particular dictionary second-hand from a store located in Ppoland. I did this because it's by my favourite foreign-language dictionary publisher, but Polish-English dictionaries by this publisher are not available in Canada or through Amazon. The book was advertised as being like new.
I paid relatively little for this dictionary - the shipping cost more than the book itself, and the total price was less than I earn in an hour. By Canadian standards this is very cheap for a dictionary; I don't know what dictionary prices are like in Poland.
Yesterday, I noticed that there was an error in the binding of this book. Some pages were duplicated in the wrong place, and other pages were missing. I'm missing a total of about 50 pages of information in a 950 page book. Other than the missing pages, the book is in excellent condition. The only sign that it is used is someone's name and student number written in pencil inside the front cover.
If the store is unable to exchange my copy for a properly-bound dictionary, I still want to keep it because I can't get this dictionary anywhere else and the vast majority of the book is quite helpful.
Now for the question: It occurs to me that under normal circumstances and by Canadian standards, a refund of part of the purchase price would be in order. I have no idea what Polish standards would be. However, only about 5% of the book is damaged. A 5%-of-the-purchase-price refund would be literally pocket change, an amount of money a child wouldn't be impressed with, not worth the trouble of processing a credit card refund. A refund of the entire purchase price (not including the shipping costs, which I don't want refunded because they did go through the trouble of shipping it to Canada.
So, your opinions please: if they can't exchange the book for me, should I ask for a partial refund? If so, how much? Or should I just be happy that I got 95% of an excellent dictionary that is not available in Canada for such a reasonable price?
I paid relatively little for this dictionary - the shipping cost more than the book itself, and the total price was less than I earn in an hour. By Canadian standards this is very cheap for a dictionary; I don't know what dictionary prices are like in Poland.
Yesterday, I noticed that there was an error in the binding of this book. Some pages were duplicated in the wrong place, and other pages were missing. I'm missing a total of about 50 pages of information in a 950 page book. Other than the missing pages, the book is in excellent condition. The only sign that it is used is someone's name and student number written in pencil inside the front cover.
If the store is unable to exchange my copy for a properly-bound dictionary, I still want to keep it because I can't get this dictionary anywhere else and the vast majority of the book is quite helpful.
Now for the question: It occurs to me that under normal circumstances and by Canadian standards, a refund of part of the purchase price would be in order. I have no idea what Polish standards would be. However, only about 5% of the book is damaged. A 5%-of-the-purchase-price refund would be literally pocket change, an amount of money a child wouldn't be impressed with, not worth the trouble of processing a credit card refund. A refund of the entire purchase price (not including the shipping costs, which I don't want refunded because they did go through the trouble of shipping it to Canada.
So, your opinions please: if they can't exchange the book for me, should I ask for a partial refund? If so, how much? Or should I just be happy that I got 95% of an excellent dictionary that is not available in Canada for such a reasonable price?
Friday, July 29, 2005
How Soccer Explains the World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization by Franklin Foer
I don't think the title is quite accurate. Rather than how soccer explains globalization, this book is more about how globalization explains soccer culture around the world. I'm not a huge soccer fan - I can certainly enjoy World Cup, but if I never saw another soccer match I wouldn't care - but I still enjoyed this book because it offered me that most elusive quarry, insight into people's motiviations for incomprehensible acts. A lot of the book deals with hooliganism, and the author explains it in a way that not only makes me understand why someone would choose to be a hooligan, but also gives insight to the motiviation of the more macro violence of which hooliganism is a microcosm. This is another one for the "Read this to feel smart" list.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
The monkey and the plywood violin
Leonard Cohen's First We Take Manhattan just popped into my head, as it often does, like much of the music my parents listened to on the family stereo and in the car in my youth. As I habitually do when I'm alone and a song occurs to me, I started to sing it out.
This song feels much much different when I'm walking through every day with the assumption that the subway is going to get bombed.
This song feels much much different when I'm walking through every day with the assumption that the subway is going to get bombed.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Thoughts for today
1. I am very relaxed today. Also, I am wearing pants today for the first time in ages. I wonder if this is a coincidence, or if I'm just generally more relaxed when I don't have to worry about how I arrange my legs. Don't get me wrong, I love wearing skirts, but sometimes it is nice to be able to crack my hips without first looking around to make sure no one will see, or sit in lotus position on my desk chair when I need a change of pace.
2. I think in translation school they shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the use of illustrations in terminology. I often find it's much easier to understand a concept if I can see a picture of it, and then once I fully understand it I can find the most effective wording at my leisure. I also think someone should design a terminology database program that allows the user to upload graphics.
3. Dear Edda from 9 Chickweed Lane,
You know full well that that Burkhardt is a total cad. For that reason alone, he doesn't deserve your services as an accompanist. He deserves to be stranded without an accompanist! If you really miss playing the piano, you can play it by yourself for yourself, or offer your services to other dance classes, or even accompany Amos. Remember Amos? The adorable geeky cellist whom you said you'd love forever? Perhaps making music together would be a good way to work off some of that unresolved sexual tension...
4. Most workplaces have policies and measures in place to protect employees from sexual harassment by co-workers and superiors. I think there also need to be policies to protect people from sexual harassment by customers.
5. The problem with babies is sometimes they feel the need to joyously shriek "AAAAH BAA BAA BAAAA!!!!" in the middle of a place that is usually quiet, and there's not much their parents can do about it.
2. I think in translation school they shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the use of illustrations in terminology. I often find it's much easier to understand a concept if I can see a picture of it, and then once I fully understand it I can find the most effective wording at my leisure. I also think someone should design a terminology database program that allows the user to upload graphics.
3. Dear Edda from 9 Chickweed Lane,
You know full well that that Burkhardt is a total cad. For that reason alone, he doesn't deserve your services as an accompanist. He deserves to be stranded without an accompanist! If you really miss playing the piano, you can play it by yourself for yourself, or offer your services to other dance classes, or even accompany Amos. Remember Amos? The adorable geeky cellist whom you said you'd love forever? Perhaps making music together would be a good way to work off some of that unresolved sexual tension...
4. Most workplaces have policies and measures in place to protect employees from sexual harassment by co-workers and superiors. I think there also need to be policies to protect people from sexual harassment by customers.
5. The problem with babies is sometimes they feel the need to joyously shriek "AAAAH BAA BAA BAAAA!!!!" in the middle of a place that is usually quiet, and there's not much their parents can do about it.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Penascal Rosé
This wine tasted like the top and the bottom, but not the middle, of shiraz or cabernet sauvignon. It had some nice creamy undertones, almost like a chardonnay, but on top was a sort of tangy zingy raspberry-like taste. It's quite refreshing in the same way lemon-flavoured water with a touch too much lemon flavour is. It reminds me of a dessert containing raspberries that I like despite the fact that it contains raspberries.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Question for U of T people
If an outrageously small number of people enroll in a given class, like only five people or something, will U of T cancel the class? Or if it's in ROSI right now is it safe to assume that it's all go?
Blackfly Season by Gilles Blunt
This is a perfectly decent mystery. It's one of those mysteries where you find out "whodunnit" before the detective did, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. It can get a bit gory in places, and the forensic scenes include descriptions of maggots, but it didn't really bother me.
I was terribly confused about the presence of some of the subplots involving the main detective's personal life, which didn't get resolved or contribute to the solving of the mystery, but it turns out that this book is part of a series - I discovered that just now when googling to confirm the spelling of the author's name.
I was terribly confused about the presence of some of the subplots involving the main detective's personal life, which didn't get resolved or contribute to the solving of the mystery, but it turns out that this book is part of a series - I discovered that just now when googling to confirm the spelling of the author's name.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
The real influence media has on kids' body image
I rarely agree with Margaret Wente, who is one of those people with the disarming habit of stating even the most sensible of points in a way that makes me viscerally want to argue with her, but today I think she has a point.
I think the media is a major cause of body image issues in young people, but not by showing pictures of uber-skinny models etc. like conventional wisdom dictates. I think it contributes more by constantly printing panicky articles about how SO MANY PEOPLE ARE TOO FAT AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE OF FAT! Kids read newspapers and watch TV even before they enter puberty - I think I started reading the newspaper beyond the comics section around the age of 8, and kids are generally more media-savvy today - and the omnipresence of articles about the so-called obesity epidemic are bound to raise concerns in young readers about whether they are doing enough to keep a healthy weight.
I don't know how the media saturation of obesity concerns now compares with my childhood - it could have been the same in my childhood, it could have been less, people who remember the 1980s from an adult perspective are welcome to weigh in on this - but I had picked up enough from the ether to know by the age of 9 that one should have an eye on one's weight, one should be making an effort to ensure that one eats right and gets enough exercise. I had the notion that this was more of a concern for adult bodies, but I was worried then, at the age of 9, by the fact that I didn't know how to go about systematically creating a diet and exercise plan to ensure that I didn't get fat when I was a grownup. (I needn't have worried - I learned the basics of designing a fitness regimine in middle school health class, and I hadn't anticipated the internet.) I also remember around that age reading about why specifically salt was bad for you, and deciding to stop adding salt to my food (a vow that lasted until puberty kicked in, a phenomenon which, in addition to the usual changes, planted some kind of monster in my taste receptors that sometimes screams out "GRRRRRRROOWWL!!! GIVE ME SALT!!!!"). I also remember thinking that perhaps I was getting overweight because my belly sticks out. While my belly does stick out even more when I'm heavy, I think it will always stick out, because physical examination suggests that even if there were no fat and no muscle, my internal organs alone would be making it stick out. But I digress.
My point is that young readers are likely to come away from articles about obesity feelings like they ought to be taking action to make sure that they don't become obese, and I think this is an overlooked way that the media is contributing to negative body image.
I think the media is a major cause of body image issues in young people, but not by showing pictures of uber-skinny models etc. like conventional wisdom dictates. I think it contributes more by constantly printing panicky articles about how SO MANY PEOPLE ARE TOO FAT AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE OF FAT! Kids read newspapers and watch TV even before they enter puberty - I think I started reading the newspaper beyond the comics section around the age of 8, and kids are generally more media-savvy today - and the omnipresence of articles about the so-called obesity epidemic are bound to raise concerns in young readers about whether they are doing enough to keep a healthy weight.
I don't know how the media saturation of obesity concerns now compares with my childhood - it could have been the same in my childhood, it could have been less, people who remember the 1980s from an adult perspective are welcome to weigh in on this - but I had picked up enough from the ether to know by the age of 9 that one should have an eye on one's weight, one should be making an effort to ensure that one eats right and gets enough exercise. I had the notion that this was more of a concern for adult bodies, but I was worried then, at the age of 9, by the fact that I didn't know how to go about systematically creating a diet and exercise plan to ensure that I didn't get fat when I was a grownup. (I needn't have worried - I learned the basics of designing a fitness regimine in middle school health class, and I hadn't anticipated the internet.) I also remember around that age reading about why specifically salt was bad for you, and deciding to stop adding salt to my food (a vow that lasted until puberty kicked in, a phenomenon which, in addition to the usual changes, planted some kind of monster in my taste receptors that sometimes screams out "GRRRRRRROOWWL!!! GIVE ME SALT!!!!"). I also remember thinking that perhaps I was getting overweight because my belly sticks out. While my belly does stick out even more when I'm heavy, I think it will always stick out, because physical examination suggests that even if there were no fat and no muscle, my internal organs alone would be making it stick out. But I digress.
My point is that young readers are likely to come away from articles about obesity feelings like they ought to be taking action to make sure that they don't become obese, and I think this is an overlooked way that the media is contributing to negative body image.
Estrogen vs. Testosterone
The BBC has this fascinating test to determine what sex your brain is. My overall score ended up being exactly the average score for all women, but on the individual sub-tests I scored either excessively feminine or excessively masculine.
One of the sub-tests showed me two slightly different pictures of the same man, and I had to pick which one I found more attractive. (There is also the option to be shown pictures of women, but you had to pick gender or the other so I picked men.) When I got my results for this sub-test, it explained that one of each set of photos had been altered to make the man in the picture either appear more masculine (i.e. having physical features that suggest a higher testosterone level) or more feminine (i.e. having physical features that suggest a lower testosterone level). It turned out that in every case, I picked the picture that suggested a lower testosterone level.
According to the information on the BBC website, women tend to be attracted to more masculine features while ovulating. This would explain my reaction; I have been taking chemical measures to prevent ovulation for years, and, unless someone went terribly wrong without my noticing, I have not ovulated once during my entire adult life.
This all got me thinking. In general, I consciously tend to find physical features that suggest high levels of testosterone unattractive. I also tend to find behaviour, attitudes, etc. that suggest high levels of testosterone unattractive. And by "unattractive" in this paragraph, I don't mean just sexually unattractive, but generally unpleasant and something to be avoided if at all possible. Would I find it more attractive (or at least less unattractive) if I were ovulating? Who knows? I'm certainly not going to risk ovulating to find out!
Then it occurred to me that they should do a study on this. I don't know where they'd get enough willing volunteers, but if they could they'd need to find women who would be willing to spend several months with a normal, fertile menstrual cycle, and several months without ovulating at all by taking estrogen every day. Then they should test their reactions to high-testosterone images or situations during every week of their fertile cycles, and during every week of their infertile cycles. Obviously, if the information provided by the BBC is corret, we'd expect the attractiveness of testosterone to peak at ovulation. But how would the attractiveness of testosterone compare at an infertile time in an unregulated cycle, and during an estrogen-regulated cycle?
But then there's also the fact that birth control pills (which are essentially estrogen) work by making the body think that it has already ovulated. I don't actually know whether this gives your brain the same hormonal level as peak fertility or the same hormonal level as low fertility. Peak fertility might make sense because if you've already ovulated and haven't menstruated yet, you've got an egg floating around in there, so the part of your brain that's driven by a primal reproductive urge would want you to seek out providers of sperm, which, according to the BBC, your brain manifests as high-testosterone men. But low fertility would also make sense, because the purpose of birth control is to make you infertile. So if it's low fertility, that would explain my dislike of testosterone. If it's peak fertility, I guess that means I'm just not into testosterone, and perhaps my brain is hard-wired not to breed, which would be convenient.
Further research is required.
One of the sub-tests showed me two slightly different pictures of the same man, and I had to pick which one I found more attractive. (There is also the option to be shown pictures of women, but you had to pick gender or the other so I picked men.) When I got my results for this sub-test, it explained that one of each set of photos had been altered to make the man in the picture either appear more masculine (i.e. having physical features that suggest a higher testosterone level) or more feminine (i.e. having physical features that suggest a lower testosterone level). It turned out that in every case, I picked the picture that suggested a lower testosterone level.
According to the information on the BBC website, women tend to be attracted to more masculine features while ovulating. This would explain my reaction; I have been taking chemical measures to prevent ovulation for years, and, unless someone went terribly wrong without my noticing, I have not ovulated once during my entire adult life.
This all got me thinking. In general, I consciously tend to find physical features that suggest high levels of testosterone unattractive. I also tend to find behaviour, attitudes, etc. that suggest high levels of testosterone unattractive. And by "unattractive" in this paragraph, I don't mean just sexually unattractive, but generally unpleasant and something to be avoided if at all possible. Would I find it more attractive (or at least less unattractive) if I were ovulating? Who knows? I'm certainly not going to risk ovulating to find out!
Then it occurred to me that they should do a study on this. I don't know where they'd get enough willing volunteers, but if they could they'd need to find women who would be willing to spend several months with a normal, fertile menstrual cycle, and several months without ovulating at all by taking estrogen every day. Then they should test their reactions to high-testosterone images or situations during every week of their fertile cycles, and during every week of their infertile cycles. Obviously, if the information provided by the BBC is corret, we'd expect the attractiveness of testosterone to peak at ovulation. But how would the attractiveness of testosterone compare at an infertile time in an unregulated cycle, and during an estrogen-regulated cycle?
But then there's also the fact that birth control pills (which are essentially estrogen) work by making the body think that it has already ovulated. I don't actually know whether this gives your brain the same hormonal level as peak fertility or the same hormonal level as low fertility. Peak fertility might make sense because if you've already ovulated and haven't menstruated yet, you've got an egg floating around in there, so the part of your brain that's driven by a primal reproductive urge would want you to seek out providers of sperm, which, according to the BBC, your brain manifests as high-testosterone men. But low fertility would also make sense, because the purpose of birth control is to make you infertile. So if it's low fertility, that would explain my dislike of testosterone. If it's peak fertility, I guess that means I'm just not into testosterone, and perhaps my brain is hard-wired not to breed, which would be convenient.
Further research is required.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Dear J.K. Rowling, I have a plan for you
In an interview, JKR said that no one else at all knows how HP is going to end.
I think this is too big of a risk. What if something happens to her? Therefore, I propse the following contingency plan. JKR should:
1. Write down everything she knows has to happen
2. Encrypt or encode it
3. Take the coded summary, and put it in a safe deposit box in a high-security vault in the safest bank in the world.
4. Put the code/encryption key in a sfe deposit box in a high-security vault in the second-safest bank in the world.
5. Get four next-most trustworthy lawyers in the world, and divide among them the names of the two banks and the two safe deposit box numbers, with instructions that they are to disclose this information to the single most trustworthy lawyer in the world if and only if a) JKR has been killed or incapacitated, and b) they are expressly instructed to do so by said lawyer.
6. Get the single-most trustworthy lawyer in the world to execute the entire thing as part of JKR's will, and distribute the information to the public.
I think this is too big of a risk. What if something happens to her? Therefore, I propse the following contingency plan. JKR should:
1. Write down everything she knows has to happen
2. Encrypt or encode it
3. Take the coded summary, and put it in a safe deposit box in a high-security vault in the safest bank in the world.
4. Put the code/encryption key in a sfe deposit box in a high-security vault in the second-safest bank in the world.
5. Get four next-most trustworthy lawyers in the world, and divide among them the names of the two banks and the two safe deposit box numbers, with instructions that they are to disclose this information to the single most trustworthy lawyer in the world if and only if a) JKR has been killed or incapacitated, and b) they are expressly instructed to do so by said lawyer.
6. Get the single-most trustworthy lawyer in the world to execute the entire thing as part of JKR's will, and distribute the information to the public.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
The silly things I worry about
It was mentioned in an interview that JK Rowling expects the next Harry Potter book to take about two years.
In my real-life job, one of the things I'm doing is helping to prepare material for a conference that will take place in about two years. Nothing is certain yet, but it has been mentioned that I may be required to attend the conference.
So the first thing that popped into my head with the two-year timeline was "OMG, what if I'm off at a conference when this comes out?"
In my real-life job, one of the things I'm doing is helping to prepare material for a conference that will take place in about two years. Nothing is certain yet, but it has been mentioned that I may be required to attend the conference.
So the first thing that popped into my head with the two-year timeline was "OMG, what if I'm off at a conference when this comes out?"
A challenge for those with musical training
Try singing the words do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do, in that order, to a melody that is not an ascending major scale. Bonus points for choosing a melody that is not a song either. Try a descending major scale, or a minor scale, or broken/melodic triad and inversion. It's HARD! Maybe it's easier for other people, but I keep straying from the melody and back into the ascending major scale.
Polskie Ogórki
Bick's Polskie Ogórki have changed their serving size on the nutritional information panel from 3/4 of a pickle (which was just a stupid serving size) to 2 pickles. The strange thing is I don't think the amounts of each nutrient have changed, although I don't have an old jar to compare. Apparently there are only 3 calories in 2 pickles, which makes the idea of a 3/4 pickles serving size even stranger.
After HBP (spoiler-free)
After I finished HBP, I was wandering around in kind of a stunned trance. I went to the fan sites, posted my thoughts, read other people's thoughts, and went to bed. HP characters wandered around in my dreams (which involved the Order of the Phoenix playing Magical Ultimate Frisbee against Death Eaters on the campus of McMaster University), woke up, had a shower, developed further thoughts on HP, and went online again to deal with those. All in all, I was completely immersed in the Potterverse for about 27 straight hours.
Then I went out to buy groceries. There were people walking around in shorts carrying shopping bags, people sitting on patios, people buying salad dressing and toilet paper and coffee filters, and an adorable German Shepherd puppy that did that puppy thing where they jump up with their front paws on your legs.
It was very strange to see real life going on as usual after everything that just happened in the Potterverse.
Then I went out to buy groceries. There were people walking around in shorts carrying shopping bags, people sitting on patios, people buying salad dressing and toilet paper and coffee filters, and an adorable German Shepherd puppy that did that puppy thing where they jump up with their front paws on your legs.
It was very strange to see real life going on as usual after everything that just happened in the Potterverse.
HARRY POTTER SPOILER WARNING!
This is a post-dated post. If the date and time indicated for this post have not yet passed, there may be new material below. New: I am continually bumping this post up whenever I have Potter-related thoughts that I want to post. I was planning to keep my theorizing to SQ for the time being, but SQ seems to have exploded.
Warning: all posts below this and above the July 15th post entitled "End of Harry Potter spoilers" contain spoilers for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
If you wish to avoid Harry Potter spoilers, use the search function in your browser to skip direct to July 15th. If your browser is not finding July 15th, you may need to go to the July 2005 archive to display all posts made in July.
As I read through the book, I am going to be posting my impressions chapter by chapter. This is not a full summary or a proper review, but I am not going to be censoring myself when it comes to spoilers. You have been warned!
Update: I have now finished the book. All spoilers are below this post
WARNING: HEAVY SPOILERS, INCLUDING THINGS THAT WERE NOT ANTICIPATED IN RUMOURS OR FAN THEORIES!!!!
Warning: all posts below this and above the July 15th post entitled "End of Harry Potter spoilers" contain spoilers for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
If you wish to avoid Harry Potter spoilers, use the search function in your browser to skip direct to July 15th. If your browser is not finding July 15th, you may need to go to the July 2005 archive to display all posts made in July.
As I read through the book, I am going to be posting my impressions chapter by chapter. This is not a full summary or a proper review, but I am not going to be censoring myself when it comes to spoilers. You have been warned!
Update: I have now finished the book. All spoilers are below this post
WARNING: HEAVY SPOILERS, INCLUDING THINGS THAT WERE NOT ANTICIPATED IN RUMOURS OR FAN THEORIES!!!!
Thoughts on the ending, after sleep
Harry is wrong.
He seems to be under the impression that he's going to wander the world solo and hunt down the Horcruxes all by himself.
He's not going to do this. He can't do this. He doesn't have what it takes to do this.
And by "doesn't have what it takes" I don't mean intestinal fortitude and magical abilities. I mean intelligence (in the spy sense of the word, not the brain sense of the word) and research skills. Harry has no idea whatsoever where the Horcruxes are located and didn't logic out the location of any of the previous ones. In fact, he still has rather limited knowledge of the wizarding world.
The next book is probably going to start with someone talking some sense into him and him teaming up with the Order.
He seems to be under the impression that he's going to wander the world solo and hunt down the Horcruxes all by himself.
He's not going to do this. He can't do this. He doesn't have what it takes to do this.
And by "doesn't have what it takes" I don't mean intestinal fortitude and magical abilities. I mean intelligence (in the spy sense of the word, not the brain sense of the word) and research skills. Harry has no idea whatsoever where the Horcruxes are located and didn't logic out the location of any of the previous ones. In fact, he still has rather limited knowledge of the wizarding world.
The next book is probably going to start with someone talking some sense into him and him teaming up with the Order.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Chapter 30: The White Tower (and the book as a whole)
And now I'm even more upset about the idea that Harry might CHOOSE not to come back to Hogwarts. That's just not right.
The book was very good, but I don't like how the world changed. This is very upsetting.
Also, I think Snape will die of Sectumsempra
Also, I think Snape will die of Sectumsempra
Chapter 29: The Phoenix Lament
Surprisingly, I'm more upset about the idea that Fawkes would leave Hogwarts than Dumbledore's passing. I was going to write that I still don't like R/T, but that doesn't seem to matter of Fawkes is leaving.
What if they close Hogwarts...might that be why the age of majority needs to be 17? So Harry can live alone after Hogwarts closes?
Chapter 28: The Flight of the Prince
I called it. I called lots of other things too, but I called it.
I can't for the life of me figure out who R.A.B. is though. Unless it's Regulus Black? Or one of the two guys who own the dark objects store? (Borgin and Birks?)
Chapter 27: The Lightning-Struck Tower
It happened. Full exposition. In my desire not to see it happen, I didn't quite put the pieces together properly. Must keep reading.
Snape for HBP, unless it's Eileen.
Chapter 26: The Cave
Can't stop, mid-action, Inferi showed up, expecting the worse, what was that liquid, what was up with the water, how will we find out how it all happened??????
Chapter 25: The Seer Overheard
We're in mid-action now so I don't have much to say. I think it's going to happen though. And I'd think Harry was mistaken about Malfoy if it weren't for Chapter 2, although we still don't know Malfoy's mission.
Addendum
I propose that Hephzibah (sp?) Smith, from whom Voldie steals the Hufflepuff and Slytherin objects, is related to Zacharias Smith.
Chapter 24: Sectumsempra
Damn. SQ must be happy, but Harry/anyone just doesn't do it for me. JKR handles it well - Harry isn't over-aware of his own feelings and we don't see a lot of snogging, but meh.
So we know that the HBP knows some terrible evil dark spells, which, once again, points me to Voldie. UNLESS UNLESS UNLESS the book contains another Horcrux. Harry is being stupid again by not turning in this book!
We don't know what Draco's doing, we know he'll fail at it. I hope this means that either Draco or Snape will die. I have this terrible mental image of Harry and Dumbledore going out Horcrux hunting and only Harry coming back because he took some Felix Felicis.
Unless Draco's mission is to find the HBP's book, and now Harry has put it right into his hands by leaving it in the Room of Requirement.
Chapter 23: Horcruxes
Answers. So so many answers. The little thing the Chamber of Secrets. The glimmer of triumph. "In essence divide." Harry leaves this chapter prepared to kill.
And there are still over 100 pages left.
I'm scared for Dumbledore. Harry isn't usually this informed when there's 100 pages left, and the Big Battle always takes place in the last 100 pages.
Also, because I forgot to blog it when I read it, "Sectumsempra". The curse indicated in the Half-Blood Prince's book as "for enemies" (the more I read this, the more the back of my mind keeps thinking the HBP is Voldemort). We don't know what it does, unless Harry's Latin is better than mine. When I read that, I felt ominous. I think Harry is going to try the spell and hurt someone unintentionally. it is the title of the next chapter, so let's see.
Chapter 22: After the Burial
The burial is Aragog's burial. I had to skim a couple of pages, but I think this chapter is arachnophobic safe. Just start skimming if you get uncomfortable - it's not too graphic. Thank you JKR!
So I'm glad Harry put the Felix Felicis to good use, I still feel sorry for Lavender, and now that Harry has the memory I want to get back to reading so I can find out about it!
Chapter 21: The Unknowable Room
Theories:
1. Yes, hints of R/T again
2. Perhaps Tonks is Imperiused or otherwise under the influence of something
3. Perhaps Tonks is under the influence of her aunts
4. Perhaps the Trio are wrong about their Draco/Crabbe&Goyle/Polyjuice/Room of Requirement theory
5. Perhaps Dumbledore was bitten by a werewolf, and that's what's wrong with his hand
Questions:
Is the fact that Harry has not yet been trained in legilimency/occlumency important? Perhaps he'll ask for occlumency lessons from Slughorn then "accidentally" invade his memory like he did Snape?
Chapter 20: Lord Voldemort's Request
This is so interesting! So it's quite possible that Voldie cursed the DADA position! Which means Snape might die because of the Unbreakable Vow! And Voldie wanted to teach! Why? Because of something that is at Hogwarts? Horcruxes? So how is Harry going to get this information out of Slughorn, and why does it have to be Harry to do it?
Chapter 19: Elf tails
Don't worry, Ron's not dead, just temporarily poisoned.
I now think that Malfoy's mission is to take out Slughorn. Except that wouldn't explain the two girls UNLESS he was trying to get them to poison Harry through Imperius!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE that Kreacher is there for a reason! I thought there might be a purpose, but forgot to blog that. EXCELLENT JKR! And very resourceful use of house-elves Harry!
I feel sorry for Lavender Brown though. Poor girl, she doesn't deserve to be used like that :( I do enjoy that the adolescent attempts at romance are awkward because that is so realistic, but they do have feelings too :(
We're more than 2/3 of the way through, and Katie Bell is still out. Perhaps she is the death? Actually, there could be plural deaths, now that I think about it. We've already had several peripheral deaths (all women, did you notice?) I was just basing my assumption that there is A Big Death on Jim Dale's statement "I know who dies." But "who" can quite easily be plural! And Mrs. Weasley's joy at the fact that Harry has saved three Weasleys lives is rather ominous, especially considering the way the Burrow was described just as he Flooed away from it...almost as if it would be the last time he saw it...
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