Dear Eddie Izzard, please come to Toronto

Update, since I still seem to be the first google result: Massey Hall, April 30 to May 2, plus some other Canadian cities. Info here

Dear Eddie Izzard,

So you're doing another tour! Fantabulous! But why not come to Toronto too? We're a way bigger market than most of the places you're going to, and we're also one of the more expensive markets so you can get away with charging outrageous ticket prices here. Plus you can try out your material in French and everyone will be able to follow along well enough even if they don't think they speak French (this is how we sell bread up here), and no one is going to give you shit if you want to get a bit tarted up.

Besides, you can't call it a North American tour unless you put Canada in there too! Pretty please?

Edit: since I posted this, I've been getting about half a dozen hits a day from people trying to find out about Eddie Izzard coming to Toronto. I normally average 18 hits a day, so this is significant.

Edit again: I'm getting so many hits here I decided to add a proper pitch.

Dear Eddie:

Are you in it for the money? Our dollar is stronger now in absolute terms than it was when you were last here, and way stronger compared to the US dollar. You will not take any hit because of the exchange rate. Also, our economy hasn't taken nearly as big a hit as the US economy has, so we generally have more disposable income to spend on overpriced tickets and souvenir tchotchkes.

Are you in it for the exposure? Your stand-up specials never been on TV in Canada. (Why? I don't know. Talk to the Comedy Network.) Every audience you've ever had here was word-of-mouth only, so a live show would increase your relative exposure here far more than it would in the US. Also, most of our national media are headquartered here, so doing a show here will get you media coverage across the country.

Are you in it to get exposure for The Riches/your acting? The Riches does air in Canada, but not until after it airs in the US. Season 2 hasn't started yet here. And frankly, like it or not, your comedy is the single best tool you have to make people go "OMG I must seek out everything he has ever done!" So come here, do a show before season 2 of The Riches starts airing on Showcase, and people will start madly googling you and end up watching The Riches.

So you want a diverse audience? Based on pure demographics, I guarantee you your Toronto audience will be more diverse than 90% of your US audiences. And 100% is well within the realm of possibility.

Does your market research show that Canadians don't like you that much? If you're going by DVD sales, you should know that lots of us buy our DVDs from the US, because our dollars have more or less reached par but DVD prices haven't been changed accordingly (it's generally about 30% cheaper to buy from the States). If you're going by the size of audience you draw, remember that a) our population is only 1/10 that of the US, and b) you've never been on TV here, so it's word of mouth only. Statistically, if your audience numbers here are equal to 10% of what your US audience numbers were before Dress to Kill, then we like you just as much as the US does. But I'll bet your Canadian audience numbers are way higher than that, and will be even higher if you come do a show here.

A Toronto show will achieve any goal you might have, unless it's "Completely ignore Toronto because they suck."