You know how when you buy toilet paper, your inner child is always afraid that someone will see you and comment on it? You adult self knows that this is unreasonable, that everyone buys toilet paper and the worst anyone can say is "So...are you planning to poo a lot?" But we've all been through middle school and we've all been or seen people be tormented for things much more innocuous than walking down the street carrying a 24-pack of Charmin.
But fear not, I have the solution.
If someone else's inner child gives you shit about buying toilet paper (pun not intended), you tell your inner child to give them shit about NOT buying toilet paper. "Wassa matter with you? Don't you wipe? You're disgusting!"
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