Balance

I never realized how delicate a balance introversion is. Lately I've been more reclusive than usual, making no effort to initiate social contact with even my closest friends, and sometimes even avoiding social contact. At work, I've been thinking lustful thoughts about going home and just being inside my head for a while. I've been avoiding buying my lunch at places with chattier workers. And, as you've probably noticed, I haven't felt the need to blog nearly as much.

I just realized why all this is: a small (and, thankfully, temporary) change in the way things are done at work has me spending more time talking to other people, but under circumstances that are in no way rewarding. I'm getting more external stimulation than I'm used to, and less time with my own thoughts, but no intellectual or personal satisfaction. Now I have no objection to talking to other people, our conversations are perfectly pleasant, but it is draining me where I wasn't being drained before.

So yeah, I'm going to be quieter for the next few weeks probably. But I'm glad I've noticed this, because it's going to inform career decisions that I'll be making over the next 5-10 years.