Tales from the grocery store

The man behind me in line put a bunch of things on the conveyer belt, including a pile of women's fashion magazines. I was unintentionally staring at the magazines - I think it was because one of them had a picture of Jennifer Lopez and I once again found myself pondering what's so big about her assets because really, I don't see it - and after a moment he caught me staring.

Now perhaps this wasn't obvious from looking at me (I wasn't very well-dressed and may have looked a bit soccer-momish), but as it happpened I would be going home that evening and chatting at length with a gay beauty pageant geek about a transvestite we both admire and whom I kindamaybesorta find a shade more intriguing than strictly appropriate, so no possible reason this man had for buying these magazines could have phased me.

"Oh, I just enjoy the pictures."

Except for that.

Now, of course, standard operating procedure dictates a notch more coldness. Not being able to think of anything else to do, I give him the obligatory "I acknowlege that you've made a light-hearted remark" smile, put my shields up and discreetly move away as I busy myself with paying and collecting my bags. But my gut tells me that it was all a charade, that he had some other reason for buying these magazines and was hiding behind machismo. After all, when a man is buying magazines to "enjoy the pictures", he doesn't exactly go around telling the strange woman in front of him in line. Or go around buying them in the grocery store for that matter.

This is Toronto, in the 21st century, the week before Pride. He shouldn't have felt the need to make an excuse. But I couldn't think of anything to do other than take him at face value, so I did so. And if he was, in fact, lying to me, I might have made things worse by giving the impression that I was getting cold for the very reason he thought he needed to hide his motives.

But today it occurred to me how I could have handled it better. What I should have done instead is drawn on the full powers vested in me by Revlon and La Senza, given him a coy smile, and purred "Oh, that's too bad, and I was just thinking what a fascinating man you must be."