Friday, May 27, 2005

I don't like wedding registries

Circumstances led me to be looking at a couple of wedding registries lately. I cannot imagine making a wedding registry. I cannot imagine asking people for dishes and linens and household items. I'd think people would react with "What's the matter with you? Aren't you a grownup? Don't you have basic household items?" I guess it's because my attitude is that gifts among equals (and, for the purposes of gifts, I consider myself "equals" with all self-supporting adults, even if they are older than me) should be fun things, interesting things, not everyday household necessities. I feel like as long as one is self-supporting and gainfully employed, one should buy one's own household items as required. (Obviously the situation is different if the recipient of the gift is not in a financially secure position and is lacking some basic necessities). To buy a self-sufficient adult bedsheets or drinking glasses feels to me like buying them everyday groceries or toilet paper. Self-sufficient adults should buy each other things that are "I saw this and I thought it was cool," or "You'd enjoy this but would never splurge on it yourself," or "This fulfills a need that you didn't know until now that you had," or "You've been looking everywhere for one of these and could never find it," even "Look! A joke that will make us all have a good laugh!" I understand it is traditional, but I couldn't look the world in the eye and say "I want you to buy me everyday necessities."

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Registries are set up so that couples don't receive duplicates, don't have to give out endless hints, and get what they want. This helps givers, too, as they know that their gift will be appreciated. It is the same thing as making a list for Santa Claus.

impudent strumpet said...

I guess it isn't the registries themselves, but the kinds of things that are typically registered for. I could see asking for dishes and linens if neither half of the couple had never lived by themselves, but I would find it terribly embarrassing to ask for these things after having been a fully functional independant adult for several years.

Pepe said...

I, as a bachelor living alone and in my late 20s, also gainfully employed, declare I am lacking several basic home gear. I can't bother to go shopping for them. Also, I just don't care, I am fine that way.

I am also lacking pieces of furniture, etc. At least, I have a sofa in the living room, a bed in my room, and a table and several chairs in the kitchen. Several of my friends are in the same condition.

If I wanted to get married and live "decent", I guess I would need to start almost from zero in the home gear stuff.

Do no think everybody is as organized as you.

impudent strumpet said...

I assure you I'm not at all organized! But owning household necessities has nothing to do with organization.

But then maybe I'm missing something because I've never been married, so I can only guess at what it entails by observing others around me. What household items exactly would you need to be married that you wouldn't need by yourself?