Half-formed thought of the day

It occurred to me today that I sub-consciously make many of my personal life decisions in order to become what I shall call my "ideal self". My ideal self is the best possible version of me that I can be. She's the kind of grown-up I thought I was going to be when I was about nine and idolized the idea of being a grown-up. She would be my Mary Sue protagonist if I wrote fanfic. She's everything I want to be able to say when someone says to me "Tell me about yourself."

I became vegetarian because my ideal self is. I became an atheist because my ideal self did not go in for the hypocritical false piety of calling herself a Catholic when she didn't believe in any of it. I started blogging because my ideal self has a website where she write her thoughts and ideas. I attempt to get up early every day to exercise because my ideal self starts every day with a workout.

Obviously, not every decision I make is focused on ideal self, and not every aspect of my life reflects my ideal self because not every decision I make works out, but I just find it interesting that I think this way. I haven't decided yet whether it's a good thing or a bad thing.