Beauty products are not the enemy

This surprises me.

First of all, I'm surprised at the assumption that media and advertising are key in making people feel dissatisfied with their looks. the media has never been a huge factor in my feeling unattractive. I didn't need advertising to look in the mirror and see that the skin around my eyes is dark (exactly like Emperor Popeatine's - yes, even in childhood) and no one else has that. I didn't need the advertising to see that I have more and darker hair on my face and body than any other female around me and, until high school, any of my male peers. I didn't need advertising to be mistaken for a boy by random grownups when my hair was short. I didn't need advertising to know that J.K. Rowling's unflattering description of Snape's physical appearance is also an accurate description of my physical appearance. Anything in the media simply reiterated what I saw with my own eyes every day (and what my peers were only too happy to remind me of on the playground).

Secondly, I'm surprised to see use of beauty products presented as a bad thing, because to me it's been a huge boost to my self esteem. I'll never forget my Grade 8 grad photo. My mother allowed me, for the first time in my life, to wear a bit of makeup. Just concealer and lip gloss. I plucked my eyebrows and bleached my mustache. It was also the first photo I'd ever had done that was retouched. The dark under my eyes was neutralized, my zits were erased, I had two discrete eyebrows and no sign of facial hair. I looked like a perfectly decent-looking human being - and a female human being at that!. Inspired, I continued using concealer and began to introduce other makeup and beauty products. And as I gained control over my unattractive features, I ceased to identify with them. As I mastered covering the dark circles under my eyes, I stopped thinking of my eyes as dark and hollow and evil-looking, and began to think of them as green, well-lashed, and capable of shining or glaring or smouldering. When I started bleaching my teeth I stopped thinking of my smile as yellow and hideous, and started realizing that my natural smile is actually quite beautiful, and can charm or disarm or put people at ease or even successfully flirt. When I got hair stuff that actually keeps my oil under control for over 24 hours (even if there's headbanging involved), I stopped thinking of my hair as oily and gross, and started to see that it's soft and silky and just needs to be washed every day, just like the rest of me. The more control I gain over my physical flaws, the more I see myself as more than a collection of physical flaws. Nothing shows that the physical is ephemeral better than editing the physical using everyday drugstore products.

Third, I'm surprised at the anti-photoshopping sentiment. We all know that it's done, we all know how it's done. And I don't know about you guys, but that's done wonders for my self-esteem. Fifteen years ago, I was thinking "I'll never look like that." Twelve years ago, I was thinking "Maybe with makeup I could possibly look like that." Now I'm thinking "I could totally be photoshopped to look like that, no problem!"

And finally, I'm surprised at the sentiment that spending time and resources on beauty is taking time and resources away from other, apparently more worthy things. First of all, we all do this. It shouldn't need explaining. We all maintain careers and social lives and households and political awareness and hobbies and interests and a decent level of being well-informed, and we all do whatever beauty routine we think is most suitable. Your hair appointment doesn't take away from your self-actualization, so why would you assume the same of a kid? Besides, most beauty routines are physical and mindless - like painting a wall or chopping up vegetables - which leaves all the best parts of your brain open to intellectual work. I'm sure I'm not the only one reading and writing while my nails dry and my arms bleach or doing some of my best creative thinking while I shave and exfoliate.

To me, beauty products are a tool that I use to assert control over my body, to express and present as my real self rather than the sum of my genetics. They allowed me to assert my independence from and ultimately conquer the sources of my self-loathing. If people are starting to achieve this at a younger age, more power to them.