Monday, September 10, 2007

Won't someone please think of the virgins?

Okay, we've all heard the thing where apparently Islamic terrorist martyrs think that they'll get 72 virgins in the afterlife.

And if you google this you'll find people debunking it and saying it's not really Islam or whatever.

But let's just take this belief as a given. There are people who believe this, so for the purpose of this post let's call it a religious belief.

So theological question: how did those virgins end up being sentenced to be someone's sex slave?

Is it punishment? Could it be avoided? Or is demands for virgins so high that everyone is pressed into service? And what does the afterlife have in store for an unmarried non-virgin? Maybe it's better to just jump in bed with the first willing person to avoid condemning yourself to a lifetime of being some asshole's sex toy?

People think I'm joking when I ask questions like this, but I'm quite serious, I want to know. Unfortunately, I don't know what to google to find the answers.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Since you asked... :)

This source (click my name) quotes the Quran:

“We have created mates for them and made them virgins, matched in age, for the companions of the right hand.” (56:35-38)

It says the virgins are *created* for this one purpose. Another line quoted says they have never been touched, so it seems their creation occurs in the afterlife, i.e. they have never lived in the "real world" with the rest of us. And so that would mean they get no chance to spoil themselves in the hope of avoiding their duty.

Apparently, everyone who makes it to the afterlife (making it is the tricky part), man or woman, gets this reward and much more. The afterlife is full-on paradise: perfect mate(s), fine wine that doesn't make you sick or hungover, the best meats and fruit, etc.

Seems to me like 72 virgins is a bit of overkill. As another source mentions, a lot of people's "first time" is not the greatest sex, so why would anyone much want to repeat that experience once, much less 71 times -- especially since the first virgin in line is literally "perfect" and you will have his/her company to enjoy all of the many other wonderful elements of eternal paradise?

impudent strumpet said...

So they aren't even real people then! A more appropriate translation would be "72 particularly realistic blow-up dolls"

Anonymous said...

LOL. I guess that seems about right, except these blow-up dolls have been created for you by your god (or an agent of god.)

impudent strumpet said...

It's like one of those situations where someone works really hard on a gift and it's just...wrong.

"Oh, um, gee, thanks...that's, um,...really, um...thoughful. Say, just out of curiosity, are there any other people here? Like, ooh, I dunno, any girls?"