Friday, January 27, 2006

Being compassionate means not embarrassing your children

The following is a letter to the editor of the Toronto Star from one Robert Campbell. I can't seem to find it online, but it's on page A21 of today's paper, in the very bottom left hand corner.

Who is the real Stephen Harper? the man who, during the campaign, was photographed cuddling babies or the man, now elected, who walked his children to school and shook their hands instead of giving them a kiss on the cheek? So much for a compassionate Canada.


Three things occurred to me upon reading this:

1. When I was Mr. Harper's children's age (I believe they're 7 and 9), I did not like it when my father kissed me. I do not know whether the Harper kids feel the same way, but it is certainly possible they do. If they do not want their father to kiss them, then he's doing the compassionate thing by not kissing them.

2. Even if they don't mind being kissed, it's possible that being kissed by one's father is the sort of thing that would get them tormented by their classmates, especially in the case of the 9-year-old boy. This was certainly the case when I was in elementarly school. If this is the case in their elementary school, then Mr. Harper is doing the compassionate thing by not kissing them when there are photographers around, thus avoiding having a photograph of the kids in a torment-worthy situation appear in all the major newspapers.

3. Displays of affection, in general, are a very personal thing. There are always private dynamics to any relationship governing what is a reasonable display of affection in any given situation. An outside observer cannot accurately determine what kind of affection is appropriate to the individuals in the relationship. I'm sure if I followed Mr. Campbell around commenting on the appropriateness of his displays of affection, he would not appreciate it. The Harper children deserve the same respect. If he wants to find evidence of Stephen Harper not being a compassionate individual, I'm sure he can find it in policy. Leave the poor kids alone!

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