Q: How does a person find a job?

A: Send resumes and cover letters to companies you'd be interested in working for and companies that are advertising positions available, have an interview or a series of interviews, then get hired.

You know what? I don't think this is true. I mean, I have gotten a couple of jobs that way, but my current job (which is my first grownup job) didn't involve any resumes or interviews at all. (I did an internship which I got through my school, they were impressed, I did more internships, they continued to be impressed, they offered me a position way far away, I turned it down, they offered me a local position, I accepted). When I was looking for work, (through the usual resume and interview method), I found that very few people could give me good advice about interviews. "I don't really know, I haven't had very many interviews that led to something." "I didn't interview, I was hired based on my portfolio." "I was hired by the university straight out of university, and I already knew everyone in the department." "I just expressed interest in the position and I was hired based on my reputation." "I found the job through my professional organization, so it wasn't really the same dynamic as resumes and interviews."

Most of the grownups in my life with grownup jobs didn't get those jobs through resumes and interviews, but no one could say exactly how one gets a job. I can tell you how I got my job, but I feel that it's a bit of a fluke in that copying my approach wouldn't necessarily lead you to a job, and most of the people whom I have asked for job advice would say the same thing.

The problem with this is it's totally useless to the job seeker. I've seen this information in job seeking advice sources, usually disguised as something about networking, but it's not something a person can make happen.

In your opinion, what is the difference between a tape measure and a measuring tape?

I need a project. I'm all settled, I've got my job, I've got everything I intended to get for my apartment, I'm all ready to start living my life.

Now I need to figure out what I want to do with my life. I need to be working towards something, and something achievable, not just "save up enough money for a down payment on a condo and vertical blinds and cream-coloured furniture for said condo." Up until now, my goals and projects have always been laid out for me. Now I need to make up my own. I need a five year plan. But if I made up a five year plan, it would be just for the sake of making up a plan. I have nothing that I really want to accomplish within the next five years. Marriage would be nice, but isn't necessary within the next five years. The same with a condo. The same with getting an MA, earning two promotions, achieving fluency in Spanish and Polish, running a six minute mile and bench-pressing my body weight, and being published. All of that would be nice, but if I don't accomplish it within five or ten or twenty years my life won't be any worse. I guess this means I'm content. But I do always need something to be working towards.

They should have a financial incentive program for older drivers to stop driving. Say if you're over 80 and, of your own accord, you go to the MTO office and turn in your licence, you get a thousand dollars/free bus passes for life/vouchers for 20 taxi rides. If you alter your lifestyle to eliminate driving - say you sell your farmhouse way out in the country and move into a nice condo on a bus route - there could be a subsidy to cover the additional expenses incurred. I have no idea where the money might come from (perhaps a PPP between the gov't and insurance companies?), and of course doctors could still get people who are medically unfit to stop driving, but it might be helpful to have incentives to get people to stop BEFORE they're medically unfit.

I am very impressed by the wording of the latest draft bill - it is perfect, exactly as I would have worded it. I heard the MPs are going to have an free vote on this issue, so I'd encourage you to remind your MP that you would like this bill passed.

Why do people not realize that the problem with the Stones concert is that it's too damn big??? Half a million people is an utterly ridiculous number. One hundred thousand would have been plenty. Every single problem related to this concert, everything that will make it unpleasant or inconvenient or uncomfortable for the concert-goers can be traced back to the fact that some idiot had the idea of having a concert for half a million people!

They should add this concert to the I Survived Toronto shirt

I saw a nine-year-old boy on the subway today, and it totally reinforced my desire not to have kids. He wasn't doing anything bad, he was just standing there, but he looked so likely to do something gross like bring home a cockroach that I think if I wanted to have kids I would have seriously reconsidered right then and there. It's almost as bad as twelve-year-olds.

When I was ordering my TV service, the guy asked me "Are there any other grownups in the house?" He wanted to know this because he needed the names of people who are authorized to order pay-per-view. But I thought "Oh my god, he wants to talk to my parents because I'm not grownup enough!"

Attention unpleasant middle-aged men with mustaches on the subway: Shut up when the loudspeaker is announcing potential emergencies. Let people who are trying to stand up stand up. And you don't need a pager AND a cellphone, really you don't.

Attention terminologists: memory is not the same as disk space. Even if people frequently confuse them, that's no reason to standardize the incorrect usage!

Attention LCBO: don't advertise wines you don't have.

Attention Dominion: all I want is some lemon butter cookies, and some thai instant noodles while they're on sale. Is that too much to ask?

Attention Fairweather: why must all your good clothes be in the petites section? Would it be that hard to make them in regular sizes?

Attention Loblaw's: some of those taste Emmenthal and veggie sandwiches you used to have last year would be appreciated. Also, having someone behind the counter where that penne and asparagus salad is would be good too.

Attention guy on the escalator-ramp-thing: I'm sure you don't know this, but these escalator ramps are not very practical if you're wearing hard-soled women's shoes. If you stand still in such a way that I can't pass you, I have to stand still too. And when I stand still, the only thing keeping me from sliding backwards is the strength of my skinny little arms.

Attention Toronto Humane Society: yes, I like animals. No, I'm not going to give you money when you accost me while I'm waiting to cross the street. Especially not if you do it every day. I would, however, be happy to take any kind of puppy or cute furry animal that could live happily in a 500 square foot apartment with no one home for 9 hours out of the day. Seriously.

Attention over-suntanned guy outside of Starbucks every morning: if you have nothing to do except tan and sit outside of Starbucks, why bother to get up so early?

I need snacks to eat in the office. I have some terrible low-energy times and I'd like some munchies to get me through them, but I can't think of what would be suitable. It would have to be something that doesn't go bad and wouldn't mess up my hands. Ideally it should be something I could buy ahead of time and keep there instead of having to prepare it or acquire it when the urge strikes.

If I were in my own home when these low-energy times hit, I would likely eat some fruit, some cheese, perhaps an egg, a pastry of some sort, a peanut butter sandwich, or, if I was really grumpy, I'd cook up some pasta. Obviously none of this is suitable to the office.

If I think back to what I'd do in res, I'd have a pastry, some chips or peanuts, instant noodles perhaps. Instant noodles is possible, but it still requires some preparation, and eating it is more involved than reaching into a bag of something, grabbing one something, and popping it in my mouth. Popcorn is tempting, but unless I can find absolutely plain popcorn it soils my fingers.

I think what I'll do is put a can of Coke in my fridge right now to cool off, bring it to work with me, and drink it when I hit low energy. That may be helpful.

I am in The. Worst. Mood.

Today started out pretty well, but around 2:00 I just got grumpy for no good reason and never bounced back. So I'm going to eat a danish and read the globe and mail and play insaniquarium while singing along to cake at the top of my lungs. And if that doesn't make me feel better, I'm just going to curl up in bed with a book until I fall asleep.

There were two guide dogs on the GO bus! One was yellow and one was black. Guide dogs are very cool. They would lie on the floor under their people's seats, so if you hadn't seen them get on the bus you wouldn't even know there were dogs there! When they were waiting for the bus, the dogs would lie down on the ground, and when the bus came they would indicate this to their people by standing up. They were beautiful and I wanted to pet them but I know you're not supposed to do that.

I'm also very excited because my living room is going to match. As I mentioned before, I'm getting a couch from Jimmy. This couch doesn't go with a thing I own. I also have a wicker chair, whose cushions are covered in the fabric from the curtains from my parents' original house (circa 1975). We were trying to figure out what to cover the couch with, and I said "Too bad we can't just cover it in the same fabric as the chair." Well, it turns out they still have a curtain left, so we're going to cover the couch with it. It has red in it so it matches my bright red curtains, and it's from the 70s so it matches all the other 70s furniture I have. (All my furniture is my parents' old furniture). My living room will match! YAY!

Here's something I wish I'd known four years ago. I'm posting it here so maybe someone who needs it will find it through Google. (People do tend to find this blog through Googling the weirdest things, so why not?)

If you are an anglophone who wants to study Translation at Glendon College (at York University in Toronto), these courses are the best way to make use of your first year. Translation starts in second year, so you can do these at Glendon, or at the university of your choice. (Sorry, I have no idea what the francophones need to do).

1. Intro to English Lit. (this is required for the translation degree, so you may as well get it out of the way in first year)
2. French as a second language. Not lit., just language training. Take the most advanced course you can get into. (Glendon requires you take all the FSL possible, so it's good to get ahead here)
3. Intro to Computers. (If you think it would be a bird course, it's an easy A that will fulfill some Gen. Ed. requirements and help you get a tech writing certificate if you need it. If you don't think it would be a bird course, you need to take it).
4. Linguistics (Not necessary, but it's a good background, and currently it will cancel out Specialized Translation into French).
5. a) If you think you might have the slightest interest in studying Spanish translation, take the most advanced Spanish course (language or lit) that you can get into. Even if you've never taken Spanish before you still might be able to pull off Spanish translation by the end of the 4 years, but you need to start ASAP.
   b) If you are certain you have no interest in Spanish, take a course that will fulfill a Gen. Ed. requirement. Something like Psychology, History, Sociology, Math, anything Sciencey.

If you're taking summer classes between first and second year, your priorities are, in order, advancing as far as you can in Spanish language and lit. (if applicable), advancing as far as you can in French language (never mind lit.), and fulfilling your Gen. Ed. requirements. A course that does none of these things is useless to you.

The most effective way to do your Gen Eds while staying close to the whole langling thing is to take Intro to Linguistics in 1st year (which will cancel out your specialized French translation requirement for some reason), then take Sociolinguistics as your Social Science requirement. It's a tough course and heavy on the reading, but it's the only advanced Gen. Ed. that's relevant. Then take Intro to Computers as your Modes of Reasoning requirement (which also goes towards a Tech Writing certificate if you're interested, and should be an easy A for anyone who has managed to find my blog) and then take something that interests you in either Humanities or Natural Science.

I'm walking through the subway station, when the PA system suddenly calls 506 on like half a dozen stations. "506 St. Clair West 506 Sheppard 506 Broadview 506 Dundas 506 Finch 506 Keele"

Anyone know what 506 means? Transit Toronto doesn't have it in their list (unless I totally missed it). A random list found on E2 says that it's Janitor (if so, wtf happened???), but I don't know why E2 would know it and Transit Toronto wouldn't.

Also, what's up with people who wear flipflops while otherwise dressed nicely? I'm not talking about decent shoes that happen to not have a heel strap, I'm talking about plastic, thong, walk-to-the-shower-in-res, go-to-the-beach flip flops! I've seen them with women's suits and nice skirts and clubbing tops, and all manner of otherwise well-dressed people. Today I saw a woman in a beautiful black pinstriped suit and white tailored blouse wearing BRIGHT ORANGE flipflops. WHY?

I'm in a weekendy mood even though it's Thursday. I had a good day at work, it's cool and rainy and my windows are open letting the nice fresh air in, and I have all kinds of food and reading material. Aaah.

And now for some Annoying Randomness:

- Email is my pensieve. Whenever I think of something at work that I need to remember at home and vice versa, I email it to my other address. If work is monitoring my email, they get a nice insight into the minutiae of my life.
- I saw a firetruck with a giant sign on it that said Toronto Fire Department. I mean a giant sign. Picture a billboard hanging from the ladder. Why do they need such a big sign? We can see it's a firetruck, so we assume it belongs to the fire department!
- There's a guy at Eg. station who panhandles by asking in a whiny voice "Do you have a loonie?" Inspired by a previous brilliant idea de mi cielito, I propose that everyone say to him "Sorry, I only have a toonie. Do you have change?"
- I'm entering the subway station. I show the booth guy my metropass. Right after he nods me through, a TTC cop stops me and asks to see my pass. I show him my pass, he inspects it, everything is in order, and he wishes me a nice day? WTF? Why pick on someone when you just saw the booth guy approve their pass?
- And speaking of TTC, I got this thing telling me how to get my metropass in event of a "postal interruption". Is there an impending Canada Post strike that I don't know about?
- The most important hyphen I've personally encountered is the one that differentiates the word "resign" from the word "re-sign". In some contexts, these words are complete opposites.

Now that I get two newspapers a day, I'm less inclined to read the comics online. I get most of my favourite comics in the newspapers, and it seems more pointless to go to the comics sites just for one or two strips.

I also find I don't know how to visit my parents as an adult. My mother's birthday is coming up so I should probably go visit. As a student, I would throw all my laundry in a bag, get on the GO bus, and call for a ride home from the GO when I arrived. When I got home I'd throw all my laundry in the washer, eat some home-cooked food and read newspapers, and enjoy such privileges as TV and a bathtub and use of a kitchen.

But now I have a bathtub and use of a kitchen every day. I don't have TV but I'm working on it (I have A TV, and I will have TV as soon as I can arrange for someone I trust to wait for the cable guy for me) and when I do have TV I will have a better selection of channels than my parents do. I have home-cooked food whenever I want, I get newspapers to my door every day (and, since I picked them myself, the newspapers I get are much better than the newspapers my parents get). I still have to pay to do laundry, but now that I'm earning a professional salary (albeit entry-level) it isn't worth lugging all my laundry home just to save six bucks.

So it looks like I'm going to visit for a day. How do I do that? Seriously, it's a whole different dynamic. When I would stay there overnight I could just do my thing, whatever, chat with people if I felt like it and go to my room if I didn't. But what do I do when I'm there for just one day? And how long do I stay, considering that my commute is probably 1.5 hours each way?

I had a horrible dream last night. It was indescribably horrible. I wasn't even sure what was happening, but there was something in my apartment and it was going to GET me. Next to my bed I saw a huge, ominous-looking shadow. I started screaming, and slowly got up to face the THING. My screams woke me up, and I woke up standing next to my bed in the dark. I had been staring at the THING, but it slowly vanished as I woke up. I turned on the light to find my stuffed aminals scattered around the room, and a picture had fallen off my wall and somehow landed in the hall, TURNING A CORNER to do so. This probably sounds hilarious, but when I woke up I was jumpy, sweaty, nervous, warm, heart racing - all the usual symptoms of a panic attack, but worse than I've ever experienced. I haven't the slightest idea what brought that on, but it was the freakiest experience of my life

I love having big projects with distant deadlines. My next deadline is in 11 days. The one after that is a week later. I can just sit in my office and work at my own pace. When I'm feeling productive I can tear through the text, producing rough draft as fast as I can type. When I'm feeling less productive, I can idly read related websites for research until the productivity kicks in. When I'm feeling tired, I can close my door, turn my back towards the window, position myself as though I was reading a paper on the desk, and close my eyes for a few minutes.

No one checks up on my progress because nothing is due for days, I don't have to check in with anyone, and my text benefits from several days worth of Second Cup Early Edition-induced morning freshness! (SENTENCE! and this coming from someone who was bitching about noun phrases earlier today!)

In the back of my mind it has sort of become a given that I will go to grad school and get my MA in a couple of years. I want to do my MA one course at a time over 2 or 3 years, but York has this stupid system whereby you pay a set rate per semester of graduate studies, regardless of the number of courses you are taking. So it would be better financially to do as many courses as possible for 1 or 2 years, but I certainly can't maintain that and work full-time. I don't NEED my MA so there's no point in wearing myself out taking all the courses offered, but it's such a shameful waste of money, and it simply isn't worth $1000 per term for just one course

There's a billboard ad for Coors Light.

"Colder than your landlord at 2 am."

So they're advertising the coldness of the beer? The coldness isn't even a function of the beer, it's a function of the beer's current environment!

Translation: "We think you think you have a good fridge. Buy our beer."