Help me not be one of those assholes

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who cannot see the point of view of a mindset that they themselves have had. For example, parents who can't look at a situation from a kid's point of view, married people who can't put themselves in the shoes of someone who lives alone, professionals who have forgotten what it's like to be in university, etc.

Now I'm afraid I've become one of those assholes. Please rescue me!

First, some background: My first language is English. We spoke English in the home growing up and I went to school in English. The first language I learned in school was French. I got rather good at it and took more and more French classes, then went to university to study translation, started working at bilingual jobs, and eventually graduated and became a translator.

Here's how my job works: I receive texts in one language, translate them, and deliver them to the client in the other language.

When you were reading that sentence, which language were you picturing me receiving the texts in, and which language were you picturing me delivering to the client in? Please mentally answer this question before you read on.

Okay?

The fact of the matter is that I receive texts in French and translate them into English. (Some of you already knew that, I know.) This is standard operating procedure - the optimal situation is for translators to translate into their mother tongue.

But most non-translators, when they find out I'm a translator, think I translate from English to French.

Why do they think that? Did you think that when I asked you above? If so, why?

Here's where the assholery comes in: I used to think that myself. When I was aspiring to study translation but hadn't been accepted into the program yet, I thought I would be translating English to French. That's just how I assumed it would work. And I remember feeling vaguely disappointed when I found out it's French to English, as though that's something of an insult to my intelligence. But now I can't for the life of me remember why I thought that, which makes me one of those assholes.

Please, save me from my own assholery! Why did I think I'd be translating English to French?

"Their parents must be so proud"

I've seen variations on this (clearly sarcastic) statement in many of the places where pictures/videos of G20 vandals are posted.

What I don't understand: why would you say that? What do their parents have to do with anything, and how did it occur to the speaker to mention them in the first place?

Are the people who make this statement implying that they shouldn't have been vandalizing specifically because it would embarrass their parents? If so, do the people who say this take their parents' reactions into account when making everyday choices? Because I don't know about you, but I don't give it a moment's thought - it's just completely irrelevant.

Or are they implying something else? If so, what?

I can't even begin to fathom why this would be anyone's reaction, but I've seen it an awful lot. Help me understand.

Three more G20 questions

1. As I blogged about recently, there have been instances of authorities making observably blatantly false statements in the media. The two I noticed were G20 Director General Sanjeev Chowdhury's assertion that downtown Toronto is empty on weekends, and Police Chief Bill Blair's (admittedly clever) attempt to imply that there's no valid reason why an innocent passer-by would be at Queen & Spadina on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

But who was their target audience for these statements? Who were they trying to win over? By making such clearly false statements, they are losing all credibility in the eyes of the hundreds of thousands (millions? probably millions when you include tourists and former residents) of people who have seen these parts of the city with their own eyes. Which also means that the people they are trying to win over aren't among these millions. So who are these people who have never been to downtown Toronto, who are so concerned about the quality of security response in Toronto, and whose favour is so important that they're willing to throw away their credibility in the eyes of the millions?

2. A number of parties have gone out of their way to laud the police, most astonishingly City Council's recent vote to “commend the outstanding work” of the police department.

My question: What exactly did the police do that these parties think is exceptionally good?

I think we can all agree that rounding up and detaining hundreds of innocent people is subpar police work. We expect better of our police. And I think we can all agree that letting the black bloc people run their full gamut, change clothes, and vanish into the crowd unhindered when outnumbered 50 to one by police is also subpar police work.

So this means that, in some area, the police must have exceeded expectations. Especially for City Council to go out of their way to have this symbolic vote two weeks after the fact, when they could have just quietly gone about City business and no one would have noticed. So what did the police do that was good enough to outweigh the bad and earn them laurels whose absence would have gone unnoticed?

3. It seems that the G20 themselves are especially concerned about having all countries reduce their debt. My question, and you might have to explain it slowly because I have no economics training: why does a country care about other countries' debt levels? How does US or British or Greek debt affect Canada?

Is this analogous to individuals' household debt? I have always felt vaguely safer because I have less debt than most of my contemporaries. Am I mistaken in this feeling, and if so, why? Is my neighbour's debt really bad for me? If so, how?

Now taking suggestions for a new word

The protesters who were wrecking stuff were using black bloc tactics, complete with full black costumes. This does is a great favour semantically, because we can now call them "black bloc protesters", which is a clear and simple way to distinguish them from the majority of legitimate peaceful protesters.

What we need is a similar term for law enforcement who abuse their power. It needs to be clear, straightforward, and easily understood, so there are no barriers to using it every time you need to describe the concept. It will eliminate any ambiguity without making the speaker seem an apologetic for the police (which could hinder the speaker's perceived neutrality and/or credibility).

The word needs to be neutral, without casting any positive or negative connotations on the people it refers to. Black bloc is a specific protest technique, so people who engage in it can rightfully, neutrally, and unquestionably be called black bloc protesters. It's like how a person playing a vuvuzela can rightfully, neutrally, and unquestionably be called a vuvuzela player. Regardless of how you feel about the people being referred to, it is inherently non-judgemental.

(At this point, someone usually points out that the people in question deserve to be spoken of judgementally, but we can't do that properly unless we also have the option of referring to them neutrally, thereby making any aspersions case an informed and deliberate choice.)

Suggestions welcome. If any journalists or anyone else with broader reach than me would like to take this up, you're welcome to it. If your suggestion is clear, obvious, and justifiable enough that I can use it in translations, I will do so if the topic ever comes up.

Currently wondering: are politicians open to specific solutions from citizens?

Sometimes when I write to my elected representatives, it's because I've come up with a solution to a problem. When the debate of the moment is "Free widgets for all!" vs. "Ban widgets!", sometimes I think of a new way to keep widgets affordable and accessible for everyone who needs them while also greatly reducing the widget-related injuries that have cause people to call for a ban in the first place.

Are politicians equipped to handle this? If my idea is in fact new and original, is there even a mechanism for them to take what's useful from my new idea and run with it and build a better widget? Or are they only equipped to check off X votes in the pro-widget box and Y votes in the non-widget box?

Wanted: shave minimizing lotion

I used to use a product called Jergen's Naturally Smooth on my legs, to slow down the regrowth of my (shaved) leg hair. It was discontinued, so I started using another similar product called Aveeno Positively Smooth. Now the Aveeno has been discontinued and I can't find another similar product.

Can anyone recommend anything?

I already know about Kalo, but I'm looking for something more at a drugstore price point, that I can afford to slather liberally on my legs nearly every day for most of the summer. It doesn't need a miracle, it just needs to keep me from growing a five o'clock shadow on my ankles. Trust me, it's for the greater good of society if I don't have a five o'clock shadow on my ankles.

I'm not looking just for moisturizers that you like using on your legs, I'm looking specifically for something that will mitigate stubble regrowth.

I, and everyone who has to see me on the commute home in hot weather, would appreciate any recommendations anyone might have.

A mission for everyone who has, or knows, a 905 phone number

1. Think of a 905 phone number, any 905 phone number with which you're familiar. It's better if it's an older phone number that was in use before 1993, but if you don't know any older ones any 905 number will do.

2. Remove the 905 area code and replace it with 416. Then call the number and see if it rings.

3. Post in the comments what happens. Don't post the actual number! Just is the number from before or after 1993, and does it ring.

Why are we doing this? Because prior to 1993, 416 and 905 all fell under the 416 area code. They split the area code in 1993, assigning 416 to Toronto proper and 905 to the suburbs and outlying areas. The ostensible reason for this was that we were running out of 416 numbers.

But I just called the phone number I grew up with (but with 416 instead of 905), and it said it hadn't been assigned. So I'm wondering whether that's a fluke.

So let's do an experiment! If you have or know of a 905 number that used to be a 416 number before the area code split, give the 416 number a call, and post the results in the comments. Don't post the phone number! Just is it from before 1993, and did it ring?

More information please: why do farmers need guns?

Michael Ignatieff is accused of turning his back on farmers by supporting the gun registry. This is common conventional wisdom - farmers need guns. It's such common conventional wisdom that I've never questioned it. I've even been inclined to independently come up with "But what about farmers? They need guns."

But I just realized I don't actually understand why. And when I start thinking about it critically, it doesn't actually make sense to me.

Farmers produce food. Guns are used to shoot stuff. I don't see the common bond. What are they shooting? To what end? And how is it related to producing food?

My experience with producing food is limited to having grown up in a gardening household, and from that experience I'm unable to extrapolate or imagine any circumstances under which the ability to shoot stuff would help. What am I missing? Help me understand.

Question for grownups (or anyone who can answer)

Normally I'd ask my parents, but they've got a lot going on at this point and I don't want them worrying about my plumbing.

The internet tells me the o-ring in the ball joint of my (hand-held, if that's relevant) showerhead needs to be replaced. (It is my showerhead, not the one that came with the apartment, so it is my responsibility.) I don't know where in this thing the o-ring is or how difficult it is to replace it.

Should I take the thing down (which I know how to do), take it to a hardware store, and get them to find me the right part and tell me how to put it in? Or should I just buy a new showerhead? (My current one is seven years old)

Either way I'll be needing advice. If I should be replacing the o-ring, I'll need help finding the right part and instruction on how to install it. If I should be replacing the whole showerhead, I'll need a knowledgeable employee to help me pick out one with good strong flow, because the low-flow showerhead that came with my apartment needs viagra. Should I go to Home Hardware or Canadian Tire for this? (Those are the only two options, unless you know of somewhere else at Yonge & Eg that can help me with this, or another superior source that's located on the subway).

Teach me Ebay etiquette

An ebay shipper used a very inconvenient courier (Canpar? WTF?), and I had no indication from their posting that they were going to do so.

I have no complaints about the transaction itself, but I would have liked to know going in that they were using Canpar instead of regular mail.

Is it appropriate to mention in the feedback (for the benefit of other buyers) that they shipped by Canpar? Is it appropriate to send them a message mentioning that I would have appreciated knowing how they shipped?

Teach me people skills

Suppose someone is talking to me, and I can't think of anything to say in response. It's a point in the conversation where a substantive response (i.e. more than "Okay") is expected, but I've got nothing.

What should I say?

I already have in my repertoire admitting that I can't think of what I'm supposed to say at that particular point, but that doesn't always work. Any other ideas?

More information please: how does severance pay work in the private sector?

There was a story in the news a few days ago where, with the changeover to HST, some tax jobs are changing from provincial to federal and the people who hold those jobs are getting severance pay even though they're going directly to work for federal. This is being presented in the media as an outrage.

This leaves me with one question to which I don't know the answer: what would happen in a similar situation in a private sector? I've never been in a situation in which severance pay is involved, but it seems to me just based on logic that you'd still get severance pay. You lose your job because your employer no longer provides your particular service. So you either apply to or are recruited by the people who now do provide that service. That's a sensible way to go about job search/staffing. But severance pay is not a function of how sensible or successful the laid off employees' job search is, it's a function of the nature of the lay-off, no?

So, in the private sector, when there are layoffs with flawless outplacement, do the laid off workers still get severance?

Question for non-Canadians

I'm asking non-Canadians because you're more likely to be able to give an objective opinion without any explicit or subconscious partisan bias, but Canadians can answer too if you want. Anonymous comments are welcome, but please indicate if you're Canadian or not.

Faced with the Haitian catastrophe, [Canadian Prime Minister Stephen] Harper directed traffic in an impressive, speedy and efficient fashion. He got right on the file, sent the appropriate ministers and departments into overdrive, and pushed international buttons – as in Canada playing host yesterday to a hastily assembled international conference on Haiti. Those who have been critical of a certain lassitude in Canadian foreign policy should take note and give credit.

Mr. Harper announced that the government, over and beyond its own aid commitment, would match Canadians' contributions up to $50-million. When Canadians donated more than the government anticipated, he scrapped the matching limit. The result, thus far, is that Canada has made the largest per capita commitment to Haiti. And the military was dispatched there, despite repeated claims that it had already been “overstretched” by Afghanistan.

On orphans and refugees, his government walked the appropriate line between additional humanitarian efforts (as in expediting the arrival of orphans) while not creating a dangerous precedent by throwing open the country to every Haitian who might want to emigrate.

So when a grim humanitarian crisis arose, in Canada's part of the world, with a sizable Haitian diaspora already here, Mr. Harper produced a pitch-perfect response backed by swift and serious action.

My question: objectively speaking, is that actually an impressive achievement for a leader of a country? Because I've been interpreting it as just doing the job properly without messing anything up. I assumed such a response was well within the reach of anyone with the leadership skills to be the leader of a country, and the resources of a whole country at their disposal.

It's like how if a rocket scientist successfully launches a rocket, it isn't a particularly impressive achievement. Most of us can't do that, but basically they're just doing their job right without messing up.

Is effective international crisis response similarly routine, or is it more impressive than I think it is? If the leader of your country responded similarly (and they may well have in fact done just that - I haven't been tallying crisis response by nation) would you be impressed, or would you just consider it basic competence?

Professionally-administered personality tests

I read somewhere that you can get personality tests (Myers-Briggs etc.) professionally administered. Has anyone ever had that done? If so, does the professional administering it help you pick the most applicable answer? One problem I always have is that I'm always mentally screaming at the test "Well, both!" or "It depends on the context!" Abstract or concrete? As it happens, I like my tangibles abstract and my intangibles concrete. Are you more analytical or emotional? Well, either or both, depending on the context. I tend to get a gut feeling, analyze the fuck out of it, fret that maybe I'm missing some key point for a couple of days, and end up going with the gut feeling. But I don't consider a gut feeling out of which the fuck has not yet been analyzed to be valid. So where does that fall on a dual choice test?

It would be interesting to do these personality tests in a context where I can talk through these questions with someone. Is that what professionally-administered involves?

Help identify the mystery lace headpiece

I saw this woman on the subway with this white lace thing on her head. It was about the size of a maxi pad (without wings) and was pinned to her hair with the same kinds of pins that people use to keep yarmulkes on. The lace was kind of loose, kind of crocheted-like. The thing was too small to be called a cap, but too big to be called a headband. It was clearly entirely decorative, too loosely-woven and delicate to be functional.

I have the idea that this headpiece has some religious significance, but I don't know in what religion. The woman appeared white to me, and her hair was a medium to light brown, suggesting European ethnic roots. The rest of her clothes were unremarkable and I didn't catch any clues to her religion or ethnicity. I didn't hear her speak, so there are no linguistic clues.

Anyone have any idea what this lace headpiece is or what its purpose is? I know I've heard of such a thing before, perhaps in a novel, but I don't remember what it's for or what it's called.

Anyone know the nitty-gritty of Ontario tenant law?

If my landlord does not give me a notice of rent increase, does that mean they can't increase my rent when my lease ends?

What I'm really asking: in previous years, I've gotten a notice of rent increase on Jan. 1 for a lease ending March 31. In previous years, there has been a large rent increase if I choose to go month to month, but a much smaller increase if I sign a new lease by the end of January (for a year-long lease starting April 1.) This year, I haven't gotten anything yet, so I'm starting to think about what I might do if I continue not to get anything.

On one hand, I'm thinking maybe I should say something so I don't lose my chance to renew at a lower rate. On the other hand, I'm thinking if I say something, they might go "Oh yeah, we forgot to increase her rent!"

My previous landlord did issue a notice of rent increase even when the rent increase was zero. I don't know if this is required.

Poll

Please answer in the comments, anonymous comments welcome:

Someone you encounter in everyday life (but aren't necessarily friends with) has new glasses. You like the new glasses. Do you say something to them?

Wondering because I currently have a new pair of glasses that I don't necessarily like. They're from Lenscrafters, so I'm allowed to return them within 30 days. I'm taking people's reactions into consideration under the assumption that if they like them they'll say something, and if they don't like them they won't say anything. Trying to figure out if this is a safe assumption.

Teach me about the topography of Alberta

Click here for a map of Calgary and areas to the east. It opens in a new tab or window because you're going to need to look at it and read this post at the same time. You'll probably want to zoom in one or two levels - I'm just giving you the overview to start with.

Calgary is marked, and the light grey area around it is obviously the built-up area of the city proper. Then head east along Highway 1. All the rectangles of various shades of green are most likely fields. Then keep following Highway 1 southeast. See all those dark grey areas on both sides of but especially south of Highway 1? What are all those? Zooming in provides no insight. They look barren from these satellite pictures, but there are rivers running through them.

Post your window-washing advice here

Here is my (outdoor) window-washing technique:

Washing with water and vinegar from a bucket using a sponge, working vertically. Follow each column with a squeegee, follow the squeegee with drying with paper towels.

This has worked better for me than using Windex (and, obviously, better than without a squeegee and without drying).

But it still leaves streaks, which, because I have big windows, sometimes makes it worse than if I hadn't washed my windows at all.

If you can wash windows without leaving streaks, how would you improve on my technique? (Note that I don't have access to a hose or any of the usual outdoor equipment.)

Questions for grownups

1. Are "funny" greeting cards getting less funny? I found they were funnier when I was a teenager. One could argue that my sense of humour has become more sophisticated, but I never found fart jokes and saggy boob jokes funny, not even when I was 9. (This round of birthday card shopping, I saw THREE separate cards with pictures of/references to bras and a caption about "have an uplifting birthday." THREE! Between that and the early xmas decorations and leftover Halloween stuff waiting to jump out and scare me, I am officially no longer accepting any more Scorpios in my life.)

2. Do people place holds at the library way more now than before the advent of the internet? When I was a kid, I'd go to the library, browse the shelves, and check out whatever appealed to me. Now, I have an epic hold list, and whenever I hear of a book that piques my interest I add it. I assume this difference is due to the fact that I can readily place holds on the internet, but there's the possibility that it's just child vs. adult reading habits.