The Right Clothes and The Wrong Clothes

A topic that seems to have come up in several completely unrelated conversations I've had lately is kids and The Right Clothes or The Wrong Clothes. As we all know, because we all have been (or, if there are any kids reading this, are) kids, during certain stages of life, wearing The Wrong Clothes is social suicide. We also know that some parents can't afford to buy their kids The Right Clothes. But we also know that there are other kids who aren't wearing The Right Clothes, either because they don't want to, or because they aren't aware of which clothes are Right, or because their parents won't buy it for them.

It's the latter situation that I wish to address here.

I've heard three arguments in support of parents who can afford The Right Clothes refusing to buy said clothes for their kids:

1. There are other, less expensive clothes available, and I want my kid to learn the value of frugality.
2. I want my kid to learn not to give in to peer pressure.
3. My kid could have chosen The Right Clothes when we did our back to school clothes shopping. They did not. They must now learn to live with the consequences of their decision. (This one obviously applies to cases where The Wrong Clothes turned out to be those of the kid's choosing.)

And all these three arguments also have the underlying fact that some kids can't afford The Right Clothes at all, and it isn't right for them to be socially ostracized simply because their parents happen to be poor.

I actually agree with all these statements. However, I think there's one thing parents need to think about (and, again, I'm still talking about parents who can afford The Right Clothes): Will refusing to buy The Right Clothes actually help my kid learn the intended lesson?

If you have your kid wearing cheaper clothes even though they're Wrong, will that teach them the lesson of frugality? Or will it just teach them that if their clothes are cheap they'll get tormented?

If you have your kid wearing The Wrong Clothes will that teach them not to give in to peer pressure? Or will it just teach them that if they'd only give in to peer pressure, they wouldn't be tormented?

If your kid picked out The Wrong Clothes and is now being tormented for it, will that teach them to make better decisions? Or did they pick out The Wrong Clothes because they didn't no any better, so it teaches them that their parents are just as cruel and punitive as their classmates?

And, in all cases, will not buying your kids The Right Clothes improve the lot of their poorer classmates?

If you buy your kids The Right Clothes, I can see two possible outcomes: a) it makes their social lives better, or b) it doesn't. If it's b), I think that would teach any of the above lessons better than refusing them the clothes, leaving them to think about what might have been. If it's a), then you get to see whether or not your kid continues to have empathy for their classmates who are now below them on the social scale. If they cease to have empathy for their classmates with The Wrong Clothes, then you have a perfectly good reason to not buy them The Right Clothes in the future. If they do have empathy for their classmates with The Wrong Clothes, then they can leverage their new social position to improve their classmates' lot, and the entire social circle benefits.