A blurb on the Globe and Mail's Facts and Arguments page advises avoiding using "um" or "like" "during job interviews or when asking for dates or raises".
Job interviews, I can see avoiding like. Some people are very anti-like. But would they even notice the um? Um seems kind of unmarked to me. I've never had a job where asking for a raise is an option, but I'd imagine that if you've been there long enough to ask for a raise, your boss would be used to your normal speech patterns. If you used your usual um and like, your boss would probably cognate it as your normal speech pattern, and if you used them more than usual because you're nervous, she'd probably just cognate it as you being nervous. If she's a decent boss, she'd judge you on your general performance, not your nervousness when asking for a raise. If she's a judgeosaurus vulture waiting to pounce (how's that for a mixed metaphor?) the instant you show a bit of nervousness, the problem is really your boss, not your ums.
But asking for a date? Since when is a bit of nervousness or uncertainty a problem when asking for a date? Are there really people who would turn down a date because of a few ums or likes, but would accept if the invitation is umless? I think if someone rejects your date invitation because you're nervous, they're not worth dating anyway. What's the point of a boyfriend/girlfriend you can't be dorky around?
2 comments:
I don't put "um" and "uh" in quite the same class as "like."
I know a few people who seem to be nearly um-free, but they tend to be slow, deliberate speakers and it seems to me they just pause, instead, and so conversations with them take longer.
I know many more people who say um and uh and ah all the time. I think to call it "unprofessional," as the blurb does is ridiculous. It is a speech pattern that can only be controlled in a conscious way, IMO. I think people in job interviews or who are asking for raises or dates are usually self-conscious enough without worrying if they are exceeding someone's um limit.
The item mentions that when kids use these 'filler words,' they are just trying to think of what to say next. I think that applies to adults, too. Thinking before speaking is generally a good thing.
A lot of ado about pretty much nothing.
The other option would be to not say anything at all while thinking. My father does this, and it's very disconcerting. I'm used to it because I've known him my whole life, but sometimes I am surprised that he managed to get married and have a good career etc., just because it's so off-putting to talk to someone who just stops
and says nothing in the middle of a sentence.
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