Young speech markers

The Star has an article on markers of young speech and how people interpret them. As I have most of these verbal tics myself, and most often use them very deliberately to communicate something specific, I thought I'd provide a handy translation reference.

So/such: "This chocolate is so good." "This is such good chocolate."

So/such is stronger than very. So means it's so good I'm enthusiastic about it. It's so adjective that emotions are involved. "She's a very good translator" means just that - she is more competent than average, but I'm surrounded by above-average people so I'm not impressed. "She is so good at medical translation," or "She is such a good translator," means I am rather in awe of her abilities.

Like: There are several distinct uses here.

"He's like, 'Are you kidding?'"

The implication of the quotative like is that I'm doing more than just quoting. I'm sort of acting out the role of the person I'm quoting. The person in question may or may not have said those exact words "Are you kidding?" but that is quite obviously what he meant. When I "quote" him using the quotative like, I use the vocal inflections and facial expressions that correspond with his "Are you kidding?" If I were to utter the sentence "He said, 'Are you kidding?'" I wouldn't be animated - there would be no vocal inflection or facial expressions." Note that "He goes..." can be used interchangeable with "He's like,..." in this context.

"He's like..." can also be used when nothing was uttered, to describe what the individual would have uttered if they had spoken. "I shook the baby's hand, and he was like, 'OMG, what just happened?'" Whether or not there was actually an utterance is usually clear by context. "He was all..." can be used interchangeably with "He was like..." in this nonverbal context.

"He weighed, like, 300 pounds."

This has two possible interpretations: He weighs approximately 300 pounds, or he is just heavy and the speaker is exaggerating for effect. I will distinguish between the two with two more examples:

"It costs, like, 20 dollars." It might cost $18 or $23, I don't remember exactly. The "like" tells you that I'm giving you a ballpark. In this case, I'm not too impressed with the 20 dollars - I'm waving my hand dismissively as I say it, with the corresponding tone of voice. However, people might also use this when they're impressed. "Condos in that building start at, like, two million!" That's a lot of money, so I'm impressed. The like means that it's approximate, but it also serves as a bit of a dramatic pause before I give you the big number.

"Under normal circumstances, Harry Potter would make a good teenage boyfriend, but as it stands he's too busy being, like, the messiah." While Harry Potter is, literally, "like the messiah," that's not what I mean here. In this case, the "like" introduces hyperbole or sarcasm or irony or some other literary technique. It's done entirely with tone of voice, so it varies greatly selon context. In "He weighed, like, 300 pounds!" the speaker is probably exaggerating to make the point that he's heavy. The "like" itself doesn't do this - you also need tone of voice and context. Note that sometimes (but not always!) the "like" can be replaced by "all." The "like" has to be verbally offset with commas, the "all" does not. Example: "The only person I know who's going to be at that wedding is the bride, and she's going to be busy all getting married." OR "...she's going to be busy, like, getting married."

All of these uses are very deliberate - I am choosing to use the word "like" to contribute something to the connotations of my sentence. However, I also use it as a verbal tic when I'm nervous, the same way other people would use "um". If I'm using it as an "um", the flow of my sentence is interrupted (not by deliberate pacing decisions) and I'm probably waving my hands around a bit too. Please note that when I use "like" when I'm trying to think of a word, it isn't a sign of deficient vocabulary, but rather a sign of introvert brain. I most likely know the word, it just isn't coming to me. I couldn't tell you whether or not this fumbling use of like applies to other people or if it's just something I do.

Upspeak: "Hi, I'd like to open a new account?"

Upspeak isn't, in and of itself, a sign of insecurity. It could be described as seeking approval, but not in the way they mean in the article. It is, in fact, a request for acknowledgement. It means "Are you following me?" or "Please confirm that you understand what I've said so far, so I know whether I need to make clarification or whether I can proceed with my next point." It might also mean I expect you to take the lead in the transaction - like if I've just walked into your bank and asked to open a new account. If I'm uncertain about my point, I'll make it clear to you by using words to that effect. If the tone of my speech rises towards the end of the sentence, it just means I am expecting you to say or do something, and am putting my next sentence on hold until I get the expected reaction. If I am actually feeling insecure, I am more inclined to control my upspeak, although I will still use it to request acknowledgement when necessary.

I'm likely to use a lot of upspeak if I'm trying to explain something to someone step by step. For example:

"So you look behind your toilet? And there's a pipe going from the wall to the toilet tank? And this pipe has a horizontal component and a vertical component? Now see the joint where the horizontal and the vertical meet? There's a nut on the vertical section, right at the joint? Now, are there any signs of damage on that nut?"

Some of these are questions, but most are requests for acknowledgement. I'm not going to go through the whole spiel unless I know that you're looking at your toilet and following what I'm saying. I'm absolutely confident in my description - I had a problem with that very part just last week - but I don't want to be asking you if the nut is damaged when you're still trying to locate the pipe I mean. A more pedestrian example of this is how I give my phone number: "416? 555? 1234." I upspeak the first two sections to make sure the person has them written down before I proceed to the next section.

So why would I use these speech markers when I know that older people take them as a sign of ditziness? I can circumlocute them in most cases (although I cannot entirely eliminate upspeak as a request for acknowledgement), but I often choose not to, for a number of possible reasons:

1. I'm comfortable around my interlocutor, so I'm acting naturally.
2. The situation requires deference on my part. I often made my voice and mannerisms more youthful when I was in working in fast food, because customers in that area seemed to have a need to feel superior to their local fast-food workers, and seemed to subconsciously take offence when I used my natural mannerisms. I also use youthful mannerisms in combination with puppy-head-tilt-confused question-asking when someone who "outranks" me is dead wrong, but it would be impolitic for me to say "You're wrong." Passive-aggressive, but effective. Luckily I'm still young enough to get away with this - I'll need a different strategy for when I get older.
3. I am ignorant, and want to exaggerate that fact. I often do this when dealing with things that I do not fully understand when I wish to maintain my interlocutor's goodwill. For example, I use this strategy when I have to call my superintendant on an emergency basis but I'm not 100% sure whether the problem requires immediate attention. "Sorry to bother you, but I have no idea how to fix it or what to do next! Oh, it's not a big emergency? I'm terribly sorry, I don't know anything about plumbing, I had no way of knowing!" My super is more likely to be forgiving about this when it's clear I'm ignorant but well-intentioned. If I eliminated all my youthful speech patterns when making this request, I'd come across as rather demanding, which isn't how I want to be perceived when I've just disturbed the super during off-hours. Same thing goes when I'm trying to get my dentist to explain the proposed treatment plan for the third time.
4. I am attempting to develop a rapport with my interlocutor by speaking to them as I do to a friend. This is the same idea as the customer-service theory that tells people to smile and address the customer by their first name. Just as I call my friends and contemporaries by their first name (and tutoyer them when speaking non-English languages), I use youthful speech patterns without hesitation. By doing so with my elders, I'm attempting to strengthen relationships by drawing them in as co-conspirators. I use this as a networking tool, just as I'd share a humorous anecdote or forward an interesting website.