I have no idea how to go about calling my family doctor. I don't know how much information I'm supposed to give to the receptionist, I don't know how much the receptionist knows medically, and I don't know enough about their office operations to know what constitutes a reasonable request and what constitutes being too demanding. I don't know if, when I'm scheduling the appointment, it's helpful or extraneous to mention that I want the appointment because I think I have strep throat. If I don't know whether I need a complete physical or just a pap, I don't know whether the receptionist can tell me by looking at my file. (My dentist's receptionist can look at my file and tell me what my next appointment needs to be, but I don't know if that's common). Sometimes this confusion has resulted in my making a whole appointment for a five-minute conversation with the doctor, and I don't know if that's how they prefer to do things or if it's just a fuck-up on my part.
I want to get HPV vaccine, but I don't know if I qualify because of my age, but I don't know whether I might be able to trick them into giving it to me if I don't mention that I'm concerned about my age and just waltz in as though I'm entitled. I don't know if they already have information about when they'll be able to distribute the vaccine and the logistics thereof (i.e. do I need a consultation first? Do they have the vaccine on hand or do I need to pick up the prescription from the doctor and get it filled?)
I just hate having to be ignorant and demanding, and I want very much to take their operational requirements into account but I don't know how. I really wish someone would make a pamphlet or a web page or even just a rant in Customers Suck giving me some dos and don'ts for calling my doctor! (I've found a few pages related to specific diseases, or for parents of newborns, but nothing general)
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