Have you ever seen those World War II propaganda posters that show the evil shadow of fascism lurking over cherubic children? You know the sentiment they're intended to evoke to make people run off and join the army?
The thing with the nutters at Tim McLean's funeral did that to me.
I wanted, in a very aggressive, militaristic sort of way, to run off to Winnipeg and get all in those fuckers' face with one of those hardcore Pride supersoakers. I wanted to sabotage their every movement and vandalize their cars and sexually harass the women (Q: Why? A: Because it's Teh Gay that they're afraid of) and all kinds of things that are probably illegal. If I had been there in the human wall and the nutters had shown up and mob mentality had made things turn violent, I could quite readily have been swept along and would totally have punched out a nutter at the slightest excuse.
I seriously had no idea I was capable of this kind of sentiment. It has never happened before. The furthest I've gotten before was a desire for cool calculated revenge to be followed by schadenfreude. I've never had this aggressive militaristic sort of thing happening before. I've never been in a place where I could have been swept along with angry mob mentality before. Not even about Paul Bernardo, although I can't give you a good reason for why that is.
But it looks like I do have a threshold, and it looks like it's right about at the worst people in the world. (The article is nothing new, I just like the headline.)
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with this now.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Saturday, August 09, 2008
I think the funeral went smoothly
Tim McLean's funeral started 2.5 hours ago and no sign of the nutters. But there were hundreds of people (and 10 cop cars) waiting in case they did show up.
Good job Winnipeg, I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help, but I'm thrilled that you pulled it off and scared the nutters off.
The vast majority of the time I'm quite content to be a quiet, unassuming, peaceful little nation, but it feels good to know we can still get a posse together when absolutely necessary.
Edited to add: you might also consider emailing Stockwell Day to thank him for his role in helping keep the nutters out. He could have just as easily not done anything and most people wouldn't have noticed. Day[dot]S[at]parl[dot]gc[dot]ca
Good job Winnipeg, I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help, but I'm thrilled that you pulled it off and scared the nutters off.
The vast majority of the time I'm quite content to be a quiet, unassuming, peaceful little nation, but it feels good to know we can still get a posse together when absolutely necessary.
Edited to add: you might also consider emailing Stockwell Day to thank him for his role in helping keep the nutters out. He could have just as easily not done anything and most people wouldn't have noticed. Day[dot]S[at]parl[dot]gc[dot]ca
Friday, August 08, 2008
A mission for everyone in Winnipeg tomorrow
If you are or can be in Winnipeg tomorrow (i.e. Sat. Aug. 9), drop everything and clear your schedule. Your mission is now: a) protect the mourners, and b) make life difficult for the nutters.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
How many things can you find wrong with this picture?
We've secretly replaced today's For Better Or For Worse with one of those "how many things can you find wrong with this picture?" games to see if anyone would notice.
1. I assume it's Elizabeth's wedding day since everyone is all dressed up. So why hasn't she been informed of the transportation arrangements until just now?
2. And why does her teenage sister have this information before her?
3. And didn't she already make transportation arrangements of some sort?
4. And the limo drivers are apparently picking everyone up at their homes. But in this strip we see April, Liz, Meredith, and Dawn(?) - all of whom live in different homes. Where are they right now? Are the limo drivers up on all this?
5. And why haven't they done anything at all with April's bangs? You can't do a formal updo but completely ignore the bangs!
1. I assume it's Elizabeth's wedding day since everyone is all dressed up. So why hasn't she been informed of the transportation arrangements until just now?
2. And why does her teenage sister have this information before her?
3. And didn't she already make transportation arrangements of some sort?
4. And the limo drivers are apparently picking everyone up at their homes. But in this strip we see April, Liz, Meredith, and Dawn(?) - all of whom live in different homes. Where are they right now? Are the limo drivers up on all this?
5. And why haven't they done anything at all with April's bangs? You can't do a formal updo but completely ignore the bangs!
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
The argument for laughing at mistranslations
Current topic of discussion is whether it's appropriate to laugh at Chinglish.
The general argument for why we shouldn't laugh at it is that it's arrogant and colonialist to mock people for not mastering our language. And I can see where that's coming from.
However, I might be misfiring on this, but my first thought is that it's kind of arrogant and colonialist to give them a bye. As translators we demand perfection of ourselves and fully expect to be laughed at (or reprimanded or publicly humiliated or never work again) if we mess up seriously. It seems kind of patronizing or condescending to go "Awww, but we shouldn't laugh at them, they're just poor little China! They don't know any better!" They're a proper grown-up country, they're a world power, it seems only basic human respect to treat them like they're capable of competent work.
I'm not saying we should laugh at individuals' accents or misspeaking or fumbling for words in their second (third? fourth?) language. And I'm not suggesting we paint an entire country/culture with a broad brush based on a few mistranslations. But I do think when you see a giant pink sign announcing Very Suspicious Supermarket, go ahead and laugh. When it's a giant public sign, that's like laughing at a grown adult who spoonerizes their way to something Freudian. I'm not talking huge public judgement, I'm just saying we should feel free to enjoy the humour.
Whenever you create something static and permanent for public consumption, you open yourself up to being laughed at if it goes hysterically wrong or shows your fallability. I think treating China (or any other country) with kid gloves in this respect on the unspoken basis that they're non-Western is condescending, and arrogant in its own way.
The general argument for why we shouldn't laugh at it is that it's arrogant and colonialist to mock people for not mastering our language. And I can see where that's coming from.
However, I might be misfiring on this, but my first thought is that it's kind of arrogant and colonialist to give them a bye. As translators we demand perfection of ourselves and fully expect to be laughed at (or reprimanded or publicly humiliated or never work again) if we mess up seriously. It seems kind of patronizing or condescending to go "Awww, but we shouldn't laugh at them, they're just poor little China! They don't know any better!" They're a proper grown-up country, they're a world power, it seems only basic human respect to treat them like they're capable of competent work.
I'm not saying we should laugh at individuals' accents or misspeaking or fumbling for words in their second (third? fourth?) language. And I'm not suggesting we paint an entire country/culture with a broad brush based on a few mistranslations. But I do think when you see a giant pink sign announcing Very Suspicious Supermarket, go ahead and laugh. When it's a giant public sign, that's like laughing at a grown adult who spoonerizes their way to something Freudian. I'm not talking huge public judgement, I'm just saying we should feel free to enjoy the humour.
Whenever you create something static and permanent for public consumption, you open yourself up to being laughed at if it goes hysterically wrong or shows your fallability. I think treating China (or any other country) with kid gloves in this respect on the unspoken basis that they're non-Western is condescending, and arrogant in its own way.
Paris Hilton is on a first name basis with Barack Obama?
I know everyone who cares has already seen Paris Hilton's presidential campaign ad.
But did you notice she calls Barack Obama "Barack" and John McCain "McCain"? Start watching about about 0:55, she totally does!
But did you notice she calls Barack Obama "Barack" and John McCain "McCain"? Start watching about about 0:55, she totally does!
The problem with doctor/patient relations in the internet age
Doctors tend to be suspicious of patients who learn things on the internet. I guess they do get people who see some drug ad on TV or blindly trust the first google result to diagnose them even though it's from Ask Yahoo. The problem is I do know how to use the internet judiciously for medical research. I can evaluate the reliability of sources, I can google up independent confirmation, I can double check whether I'm getting confirmation bias, it's essentially my job. I wouldn't have made it past my first practicum if I had poor google judgement. So if I walk into a doctor's office with information I've found on the internet, at the minimum I've done the first level of troubleshooting myself (like when you try to reboot and system restore before calling tech support), and it's quite possible that I've gotten as far as a proper diagnosis and all I need is treatment. But I don't dare say the I-word to the doctor, because their shields immediately go up and they get suspsicious about everything I might say.
Actually, the same thing happens when I get strep throat. I get strep throat almost every year, I know what it feels like, I know I need antibiotics. But if you go into a doctor's office and say "I know what the problem is, I get this all the time, just give me the drugs" they are (understandably) suspicious.
The problem with all this is I feel like I have to play dumb every time I go into the doctor's office. I feel like I have to put on the big green eyes and little girl voice (which I'm really getting too old for and should break the habit of, but it still works more reliably with unknown interlocutors than the assertive grownup act) and describe my symptoms like all gosh golly I'm just the patient you're the big smart doctor, manipulating them into arriving at the diagnosis I've already arrived at. I hate that. It makes me feel like some one-off Sweet Valley High character trying to land a football player and being advised on flirting techniques by Jessica Wakefield. If I wanted to play dumb to convince other people they're oh so smart so they'll do what I want them to, I'd go be a trophy wife!
At this point people always tell me that I have to be assertive, but when I'm assertive that seems to get me subconsciously labelled as a difficult patient and the doctor pushes back like they're actively trying to prove me wrong. The only thing that seems to work is ditzing, and that is very hard work. I wish I could just go in as myself, a competent adult who is capable of reading and thinking and the occasional medical translation.
Actually, the same thing happens when I get strep throat. I get strep throat almost every year, I know what it feels like, I know I need antibiotics. But if you go into a doctor's office and say "I know what the problem is, I get this all the time, just give me the drugs" they are (understandably) suspicious.
The problem with all this is I feel like I have to play dumb every time I go into the doctor's office. I feel like I have to put on the big green eyes and little girl voice (which I'm really getting too old for and should break the habit of, but it still works more reliably with unknown interlocutors than the assertive grownup act) and describe my symptoms like all gosh golly I'm just the patient you're the big smart doctor, manipulating them into arriving at the diagnosis I've already arrived at. I hate that. It makes me feel like some one-off Sweet Valley High character trying to land a football player and being advised on flirting techniques by Jessica Wakefield. If I wanted to play dumb to convince other people they're oh so smart so they'll do what I want them to, I'd go be a trophy wife!
At this point people always tell me that I have to be assertive, but when I'm assertive that seems to get me subconsciously labelled as a difficult patient and the doctor pushes back like they're actively trying to prove me wrong. The only thing that seems to work is ditzing, and that is very hard work. I wish I could just go in as myself, a competent adult who is capable of reading and thinking and the occasional medical translation.
Things Starfleet Should Invent: a universal translator with a slight accent
When people on Star Trek are incognito on some alien planet, they depend on the universal translator to communicate. On this type of mission, they usually claim to be from some other place on the same planet (the southern continent, the other side of the ridge) that's far enough away to explain any cultural tonedeafness they might have, but close enough to be plausible.
To facilitate this, the UT should give them a slight accent in whatever language they're speaking. It's a lot easier to play at "Sorry, I'm not from around here" when your speech isn't perfect.
To facilitate this, the UT should give them a slight accent in whatever language they're speaking. It's a lot easier to play at "Sorry, I'm not from around here" when your speech isn't perfect.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Today is artificial limbs day
Today I saw four different people with artificial limbs. Weird coincidence.
I also saw a lady in a wheelchair wearing mad crazy awesome red stiletto sandals that no human being could possibly walk in. Which is fine, because she's in a wheelchair. Makes me wonder why more people in wheelchairs don't wear awesome shoes.
I also saw a lady in a wheelchair wearing mad crazy awesome red stiletto sandals that no human being could possibly walk in. Which is fine, because she's in a wheelchair. Makes me wonder why more people in wheelchairs don't wear awesome shoes.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Did any of the pharmacy staff address you by name?
One of the questions in the Shoppers Drug Mart customer survey is "Did any of the pharmacy staff address you by name?"
I'm really curious about which answer they're going for here. All the various customer service training I've had encourages you to address people by name, but as a customer at a pharmacy I'd prefer not to be addressed by name for privacy purposes. The pharmacy area is kind of out in the open, and I'd rather not give random people in the store the opportunity to match up my name with what medication I'm taking. Not that it's especially secret - I'm pretty sure I've mentioned every prescription I've ever had here - but it's the principle of the thing. They shouldn't be giving them customer service rules that could possibly compromise patient privacy.
But maybe they know that. I'd assume they're not entirely stupid. Maybe they're asking to make sure no one called me by name. At any rate, I don't want to be called by name and I don't want to get anyone in trouble, so I always mark it as no, no one addressed me by name, then clarify in the comments that that's what I prefer.
(Aside: because I know being called by name is a customer service technique, it always puts my shields up. Miss Manners says it's required by etiquette, but it just seems pure phoney to me. If someone addresses me by name when it isn't strictly necessary, I assume they're trying to play me somehow. And because of this, I rarely address other people by name when not necessary, except in customer service situations.)
I'm really curious about which answer they're going for here. All the various customer service training I've had encourages you to address people by name, but as a customer at a pharmacy I'd prefer not to be addressed by name for privacy purposes. The pharmacy area is kind of out in the open, and I'd rather not give random people in the store the opportunity to match up my name with what medication I'm taking. Not that it's especially secret - I'm pretty sure I've mentioned every prescription I've ever had here - but it's the principle of the thing. They shouldn't be giving them customer service rules that could possibly compromise patient privacy.
But maybe they know that. I'd assume they're not entirely stupid. Maybe they're asking to make sure no one called me by name. At any rate, I don't want to be called by name and I don't want to get anyone in trouble, so I always mark it as no, no one addressed me by name, then clarify in the comments that that's what I prefer.
(Aside: because I know being called by name is a customer service technique, it always puts my shields up. Miss Manners says it's required by etiquette, but it just seems pure phoney to me. If someone addresses me by name when it isn't strictly necessary, I assume they're trying to play me somehow. And because of this, I rarely address other people by name when not necessary, except in customer service situations.)
Quidquid germanus dictum sid altum viditur
Solo by Thomas D. and Nina Hagen:
I don't know why, but this song gets me every single time, no matter where I am or what I'm feeling or wht else is going on when I hear it. The part that gets me the most is Nina Hagen's chorus:
This part always reaches its hand down my gullet like something from an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon and stirs up my blood and phlegm and bile like nothing else has since Shakespeare's Sonnet 29.
So what does it mean?
It doesn't work nearly so well in English, does it?
When I was in uni, it was fashionable to aspire to literary translation, but I completely wrote it off as an option. This is why. Translating the meaning? Dead easy. Translating the connotations? 100% is not always possible, but I can consistently exceed 90%. Translating the beauty? Not gonna happen.
I don't know why, but this song gets me every single time, no matter where I am or what I'm feeling or wht else is going on when I hear it. The part that gets me the most is Nina Hagen's chorus:
Du hast mein Herz geklaut,
Ich weiß nicht, ob du's gewusst hast,
Du Schuft hast es getan,
Hab dich geliebt, als ob es keinen Morgen gibt, bis der Morgen kam
This part always reaches its hand down my gullet like something from an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon and stirs up my blood and phlegm and bile like nothing else has since Shakespeare's Sonnet 29.
So what does it mean?
You broke my heart
I don't know whether you knew that
You cad, you did it
I loved you like there was no tomorrow until tomorrow came.
It doesn't work nearly so well in English, does it?
When I was in uni, it was fashionable to aspire to literary translation, but I completely wrote it off as an option. This is why. Translating the meaning? Dead easy. Translating the connotations? 100% is not always possible, but I can consistently exceed 90%. Translating the beauty? Not gonna happen.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Today's rainbow
Maybe one day I'll get so bored of seeing rainbows that I'll stop posting every one I see, but that hasn't happened yet. I think we can conclude that if you face east you'll see more rainbows than if you face west (in Toronto at least).
Edit: OMG, I just noticed, it's just barely a double rainbow! You can see the second rainbow very faintly above the first one, arcing out of the top roof of the building on the very right. I didn't even notice that IRL!
A clue in the Sitemeter/Internet Explorer problem
I am running WebWasher Classic with IE 7, and I can still access websites with Sitemeter on them. However, I cannot access the Sitemeter site itself. Whatever the problem in the code is, WebWasher blocks it. That's the best I can do at the moment, but the solution is in there somewhere.
So that's why I didn't realize my blog was not accessible through IE - because it was just fine for me. Sorry about that. I'll be removing my Sitemeter code as right after I post this.
If you have a blog or a website and you want people to still be able to read it with IE, remove your sitemeter code. Pass it on.
Update: as of 5 pm, it seems to be working normally now.
So that's why I didn't realize my blog was not accessible through IE - because it was just fine for me. Sorry about that. I'll be removing my Sitemeter code as right after I post this.
If you have a blog or a website and you want people to still be able to read it with IE, remove your sitemeter code. Pass it on.
Update: as of 5 pm, it seems to be working normally now.
Criminology
You know how sometimes the most obvious most suitable consequence for a particular crime (either as punishment or to prevent the crime from happening again) is something the criminal justice system can't do? The offender should have the choice between the logical, natural consequence that's normally outside the scope of the criminal justice system, and whatever the standard sentence for the crime is. Standard sentences shouldn't be inflated to coerce offenders into choosing the logical, natural consequence, it should be a free choice where they can go with whatever they prefer.
The first thing that comes to mind for this is castrating sex offenders. I don't know if the castration would mitigate whatever psychopathic tendencies they have (it might vary from case to case?) but if it actually would prevent them from re-offending, why not put it out there as an option? The other case that comes to mind was one from a while back where a lady killed her baby through neglect because she was too stupid to take care of a baby. I forget the details of how the kid died or whatever so I can't google it up, but I distinctly remember that she honestly did not grok that her baby would die if she neglected it. Now the logical thing to do would be to sterilize her, wouldn't it? That's way outside the jurisdiction of the criminal justice system, but if she had a free choice in the matter and chose sterilization, then everyone would be better off and there would be no chance of recidivism.
I'm sure there are some examples that don't involve cutting people's genitals off, but I can't think of any offhand. Psychoanalyze that at your leisure.
*****
The following is a quote from Successful Dog Adoption by Sue Sternberg. Any typos are my own.
That sounds exactly like my young offenders theory!
*****
Speaking of (young offenders, not dogs), I have a question for people who think Omar Khadr should be punished on the basis that he was wherever it was that he was:
How could he have gotten out of that situation?
I have been 15 years old and taken to a foreign country by my parents, and even with an additional 12 years' life experience and 20/20 hindsight, I have no idea how I could have gotten out of there. How do you plan your escape without unmonitored internet access? How do you buy a plane ticket when you don't have a credit card? How do you flee when you haven't learned to drive yet? How do you get through customs without parental consent to travel? What if your parents are holding onto your passport for safekeeping? How do you judge whether local authorities will assist you or whether they'll just return you to your parents as a runaway? How do you carry this all off with the minimal (if any) pocket money a 15-year-old generally has on them?
People are talking like it's the most obvious thing in the world that he made a fully informed choice to be there, and while I agree that he may well have been able to grok the politics and moral impliciations at that age, I simply cannot see any way that he could have left the situation.
Explain this to me please. Give me specifics, give me logistics, give me solutions to all the problems I've mentioned above. I don't see it at all, help me out here.
And then, once you've explained it, perhaps publicize the procedure to help other teenagers who find themselves forced into untenable situations by their parents.
The first thing that comes to mind for this is castrating sex offenders. I don't know if the castration would mitigate whatever psychopathic tendencies they have (it might vary from case to case?) but if it actually would prevent them from re-offending, why not put it out there as an option? The other case that comes to mind was one from a while back where a lady killed her baby through neglect because she was too stupid to take care of a baby. I forget the details of how the kid died or whatever so I can't google it up, but I distinctly remember that she honestly did not grok that her baby would die if she neglected it. Now the logical thing to do would be to sterilize her, wouldn't it? That's way outside the jurisdiction of the criminal justice system, but if she had a free choice in the matter and chose sterilization, then everyone would be better off and there would be no chance of recidivism.
I'm sure there are some examples that don't involve cutting people's genitals off, but I can't think of any offhand. Psychoanalyze that at your leisure.
*****
The following is a quote from Successful Dog Adoption by Sue Sternberg. Any typos are my own.
Behaviourally adoptable dogs get adopted more quickly than the problem or unadoptable dogs, so the shelter gradually clogs up with the problem or unadoptable dogs. [...] May dogs who start out as behaviourally adoptable dogs wil, over time, deteriorate in the shelter/kennel environment, becoming less and less adoptable with each passing day. [...] The more aggressive, "kennel crazy" unadoptable dogs there are, the quicker the behaviourally adoptable dogs deteriorate because of the heightened state of arousal and aggression in the kennels, until they're all lunging at the front of their cages.
That sounds exactly like my young offenders theory!
*****
Speaking of (young offenders, not dogs), I have a question for people who think Omar Khadr should be punished on the basis that he was wherever it was that he was:
How could he have gotten out of that situation?
I have been 15 years old and taken to a foreign country by my parents, and even with an additional 12 years' life experience and 20/20 hindsight, I have no idea how I could have gotten out of there. How do you plan your escape without unmonitored internet access? How do you buy a plane ticket when you don't have a credit card? How do you flee when you haven't learned to drive yet? How do you get through customs without parental consent to travel? What if your parents are holding onto your passport for safekeeping? How do you judge whether local authorities will assist you or whether they'll just return you to your parents as a runaway? How do you carry this all off with the minimal (if any) pocket money a 15-year-old generally has on them?
People are talking like it's the most obvious thing in the world that he made a fully informed choice to be there, and while I agree that he may well have been able to grok the politics and moral impliciations at that age, I simply cannot see any way that he could have left the situation.
Explain this to me please. Give me specifics, give me logistics, give me solutions to all the problems I've mentioned above. I don't see it at all, help me out here.
And then, once you've explained it, perhaps publicize the procedure to help other teenagers who find themselves forced into untenable situations by their parents.
Hot wet dirty hardcore prescriptivism
"...aux adjoints aux directeurs généraux..."
I paused, leaned back, folded my arms and smirked.
My text prattled on for a moment before it realized I had stopped, then turned and looked at me questioningly.
I raised an eyebrow. "Do you realize what you just did?"
My text furrowed its brow, mentally replaying the last couple of phrases, until a look of realization dawned. "Oh shit..."
I leaned forward, making my voice low and dangerous. "And you realize what I have to do to you now?"
My text just stared up at me, wide-eyed.
I smiled evilly. "Come on, you know I don't make the rules," I said, wielding my usage handbook. "And besides," I added, googling up several hundred precedents, "Everyone's doing it!"
My text still didn't look convinced.
I leaned in close and whispered "Listen, just between you and me, I've never had an opportunity to do this before." I looked it right in the eyes. "Don't you want to be my first?"
My text's eyes were still wide and apprehensive, but it nodded its assent.
"Excellent." I licked my lips. "Now just sit back and relax, and I'll do this as gently as I can."
I reached down, warily at first but soon gaining more confidence, and typed "...the Directors General's assistants."
I paused, leaned back, folded my arms and smirked.
My text prattled on for a moment before it realized I had stopped, then turned and looked at me questioningly.
I raised an eyebrow. "Do you realize what you just did?"
My text furrowed its brow, mentally replaying the last couple of phrases, until a look of realization dawned. "Oh shit..."
I leaned forward, making my voice low and dangerous. "And you realize what I have to do to you now?"
My text just stared up at me, wide-eyed.
I smiled evilly. "Come on, you know I don't make the rules," I said, wielding my usage handbook. "And besides," I added, googling up several hundred precedents, "Everyone's doing it!"
My text still didn't look convinced.
I leaned in close and whispered "Listen, just between you and me, I've never had an opportunity to do this before." I looked it right in the eyes. "Don't you want to be my first?"
My text's eyes were still wide and apprehensive, but it nodded its assent.
"Excellent." I licked my lips. "Now just sit back and relax, and I'll do this as gently as I can."
I reached down, warily at first but soon gaining more confidence, and typed "...the Directors General's assistants."
Friday, August 01, 2008
A simple mission for Improv Everywhere
Burst into this song on the subway. Multiple times, on different subways, all throughout the day.
Also, someone totally needs to start a Toronto branch of Improv Everywhere.
Also, someone totally needs to start a Toronto branch of Improv Everywhere.
Open letter to religious people trying to say nice things to atheists
Telling an atheist that you're sure they'll find god soon is a dis. I know it doesn't sound that way to you. I know you think you're saying "This great and wonderful thing that changed my life will happen to you soon!" But to an atheist whose atheism came from careful thought (and I don't know any whose didn't, although I'd imagine it could also be the result of growing up in a household without religion), it sounds like anything from "Soon you'll see that I'm right and you're wrong!" to "Soon you'll come to realize what a wonderful man your abusive ex is and go crawling back to him!" Just...don't say it.
Edited to add the most obvious analogy in human history: religious people, how would you feel if smiling and enthusiastically told you that I'm sure you'll lose your religion soon?
Edited to add the most obvious analogy in human history: religious people, how would you feel if smiling and enthusiastically told you that I'm sure you'll lose your religion soon?
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