Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell

This is one of those books that you read to watch the author work his art. The plots are perfectly good too, but really the way the book is crafted is what stands out.

It's a set of six interlocking stories, set one inside another like matruyshka dolls. It gave me the feeling of looking at an atom and then zooming out, seeing molecules, cells, matter, organisms, ecosystems, planets, only to zoom out into space and see a planetary system, which looks like an atom again.

I really don't want to describe too much of the plots here because part of the pleasure of this book is discovering how they interlock for yourself, so I'll just give a few thoughts about various aspects.

I liked the way the various plots, and the novel as a whole, ended. I felt that they all ended with something of a positive feeling, even, somehow, when there was a death - AND the author managed to do this without getting cheesy! The ending of the whole book really seems like it should be cheesy, but it didn't feel cheesy to me.

The author uses various language patterns to represent different characters and places in time and space, including, in one section, that peevish habit of using misspelling to convey dialect and accent. This does make the book more difficult to read, but I would say it's worth it for the effect. I didn't like this effect in Mark Twain's writing and I do tend to skim over Hagrid's speeches in Harry Potter, but I think the effect was put to good use here.

It took me longer than usual to get into this book, but I happily fell into its universe after about 120 pages. If you do undertake to read it and find you aren't so very into it, I'd give it at least 150 pages before giving up.

Finally, because I like to be warned of these things, there is one scene of rape in this book. It is not really necessary to the plot, but I've certainly seen more gratuitous rape in literature. It is not experienced in first person - it is narrated by a helpless bystander - and karma is balanced out in the end. It caused me to wince and cringe, but not cry or have nightmares.

Overall, I think this is a love or hate kind of book, but I would recommend reading it because I have a feeling it will be turning up in English classes in a few decades. It's full of symbolism and shit that I'm just not good at, so I'm sure kids will be bullshitting essays about it for years to come!

Equal opportunity puppy raising

To raise a guide dog puppy, you have to have a house with a relatively large backyard. This makes sense because guide dogs are large breeds who like to run around.

But what happens when a doggie raised in a big house with a big yard gets assigned to a person who lives in a small apartment? Maybe the adjustment would be easier if some puppies were raised in apartments from the beginning?

(Yes, this is just a ploy to get me an adorable widdle guide dog puppy like the one in the Eukanuba commercial).

Parenting

There was a gentleman in front of me in the grocery store with two small children. He was being very kind and calm and patient with them, asking them nicely to do whatever he wanted them to do and explaining why. "Melissa, could you come over here so you're out of that lady's way so she can put her groceries on the conveyer belt?" "Johnny, can you take this bag please? We have too many bags for just me to carry, so everyone has to carry something."

I was standing in line behind him admiring his parenting style, when suddenly it occurred to me: he has to be like this ALL THE TIME!!!! He has to be calm and uber-patient every single moment of every single day!

If I wasn't already a non-breeder, that would put me off having children!

An interesting take on the Sorting Hat

This Sorting Hat quiz is interesting. The questions are very different and you can't always tell which choice goes with which House.

One of the questions is "Which House do you want to be in?" As I've mentioned in the past, I think I'm halfway between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, and I'm not sure which house I'd prefer [I was going to say "in real life", but this is a fictional universe...]. So first I took it saying that I want to be in Hufflepuff, and I got:

Squib
You scored 12% Slytherin, 24% Ravenclaw, 20% Gryffindor, and 40% Hufflepuff!
Are you sure that you belong at Hogwarts? You show no defined personal characteristics and therefore no house preference. Perhaps you should seriously consider a lucrative career in dentistry or tax preparation -- or allow the Sorting Hat to redetermine your place at a later date.

Then I took it saying taht I want to be in Ravenclaw, and I got:

RAVENCLAW!
You scored 12% Slytherin, 60% Ravenclaw, 28% Gryffindor, and 36% Hufflepuff!
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind.

Ravenclaws are known for their intelligence, ingenuity, and lifelong thirst for knowledge.

I guess this means that I'm more of a Ravenclaw than a Hufflepuff, so my 11-year-old self would be sorted correctly even if the Sorting Had DID listen to her!

Help me with my petty makeup problems!

I am looking for a pale pink eyeshadow that is NOT frosted - just matte! I bought one by Maybelline that looked okay, but it turned out to be frosted. Anyone know of any pink eyeshadows that are not frosted at all?

I am allergic to Walmart

I went to Walmart today, and in the middle of the store my eyes suddenly started watering like crazy. They're still going, although not as badly. I haven't had this happen since I was in a house with five cats! It's very annoying! And now I have to write a test this evening with my eyes freaking out. Not fun!

Layout poll

See the picture of my little cartoon doppleganger over to the right there? See the words directly under her picture? Think they should be in a smaller font? If so, what size (use any other design element on this page for comparison purposes).

Foiling attempts to live vicariously through me since 2000

As most people reading this know, I'm very shy and introverted. I don't enjoy attention from strangers (or even being the centre of attention among friends) or large group situations where I don't know everyone there. As a result, I rarely go to parties or clubs unless I have mi cielito by my side, and I even tend to avoid bars unless I'm with a safe group of people and no one is out to pick up. (And even then, I do try very hard to avoid any situation where my presence might imply that I'm willing to be hit on). It's not something moral or ethical or puritan, it's just that these situations are simply not fun for me, and I'd rather be at home with a book or chatting quietly with one or two close friends.

The problem is that Certain Relatives have Certain Assumptions about what I do with my private life based on my demographics, and ask me to tell them about all the wild times I've had out enjoying the nightlife and the men I've picked up etc. Then when I tell them I don't really go out that often, they think I'm just not telling them because they are Relatives and I'm really hiding some (by their standards) fabulous life behind my perfectly respectable exterior. Meanwhile, I'm just sitting here looking forward to a quiet evening in with ICQ, a novel and a Merlot, and cowering from invitations to go clubbing with my undergrad classmates. Such is the life of an introvert...

The Queer Eye for the Straight Guy conspiracy

Conspiracy theory: the real methodology behind Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is not to make men look more attractive by being stylish or meterosexual or whatnot. The real intent to to make it easier for them to approach women by making them look gay, and therefore harmless. And after the Queer-Eyed man manages to successfully approach a woman, maybe he doesn't even let on straight away that he's straight. He instead works to gain her trust masquerading as a gay man, and then once he has earned enough trust to gain her friendship, THEN he pounces!

Wherein karma comes and bites me on the ass

I woke up at 6 am this morning. I had not completely finished sleeping, but I felt more awake than I do on the average weekday morning and felt generally healthy and alert. The angel on one shoulder told me to get up, do a bit of yoga, and get on with my day, taking advantage of all the extra hours that I don't usually find in a weekend. The devil on the other shoulder told me to go back to sleep, it's the weekend and I'm entitled to sleep in for as long as I want. So I decided to lie in bed, and if I didn't fall asleep within one hour (or got bored of lying in bed) I'd get up.

I lay in bed, fell asleep, and woke up around noon. When I woke up I felt grumpy, shitty and dessicated. I should have listened to the angel.

This angel/devil on the shoulder thing raises a question: suppose you've got your angel and devil on your shoulders. Which one is on which shoulder? Is there a standard in cartoons etc?

Footprints

You know how societal convention is to walk on the right side of whatever sidewalk or staircase or hallway you might be in? I have evidence that, despite those annoying standing-on-the-left-of-the-escalator people, the general population of Toronto still adheres to this convention.

How do I know this?

Go to a subway entrance on a snowy day. You will see that the side of the steps that is the right-hand-side for people going down the stairs is wet, and the other side is dry. This means that the majority of people coming in from outside (therefore with wet shoes) are going down their right-hand side, and the majority of people heading out from inside (therefore with dry shoes) are going up their right-hand side.

Watch me turn to mushy mushy mush

Cutest puppy ever! No, really!

Things They Should Invent: Sample Airline Seats

Different airlines and different classes have different sizes of seats, so you don't always know what you're going to get. I was once on an airplane where the length from the front of the back of my seat (i.e. as far back as my buttocks can go) to the back of the seat in front of me (i.e. the end of my legroom) was exactly the same length as my femur, hip to kneecap. If I were an inch taller I wouldn't have fit in this seat - and I'm only 5'7"! So someone shorter could probably sit comfortably in this seat, while someone taller would have a lot of trouble. It would be helpful to know this ahead of time.

So what they should do is set up sample seats representing realistic legroom in airports and travel agencies, and before you buy you could sit down and see if you fit in the seat! Who knows - this could result in happier passengers and more first-class seats being sold!

Things that just sound funnier in French

"Ai-je déjà mangé tous mes oeufs?" (i.e. "Have I already eaten all my eggs?"

Look at me, I'm a Buddhist

I took the Belief-O-Matic test, and my top result was 98% Theravada Buddhist. (Unfortunately, while looking to see what exactly this form of Buddhism IS, I lost my full results). I did notice that I was only 7% Roman Catholic, which is the religion that I was raised with, but unfortunately I lost my results before I could see what percentage atheist I am.

There are a few flaws in this test, including the assumption that one must have religion and the assumption that one's moral convictions are the result of one's religion, but I did find the Buddhist result rather interesting. There are some things in Buddhism I just can't believe in - I find the idea of rebirth rather unappealing, and I believe karma comes back within one's own lifetime rather than in a future life when one can no longer remember what one did to earn good/bad karma. However, if an outsider looked at my life just on the surface, without examining my thoughts, feelings and inner life, I am currently living exactly as I would if I did believe in Theravada Buddhism. The only difference is that I am not involved in any religious community, but I think one can be a Buddhist without the help of others.

Baby yawns

Today I sat next to a baby for like 1/2 hour on the subway. I made friends with the baby, talked, made faces, let it hold my finger, and then decided to do some experiments on it. You know how if you see someone else yawn you can't help but yawn yourself? I decided to see if this works on babies. I yawned several different times while the baby was watching me, but the baby never yawned back. Which raises the question: at what age to people start yawning back?

I actually have an answer to a Workplace Ethics question!

I read the Globe and Mail's Workplace Ethics column every week, but I never actually formulated an answer until today. I'm too shy to write in though, so I'll put it here.

The question from this week's column:

Rumours have been swirling that your CEO has become romantically involved with another senior executive of the company. That would constitute a serious breach of the company's latest and very strict code of conduct. Recently, you have spotted the CEO several times suddenly in the after-hours company of the same executive at restaurants and a nightclub; though they seemed cozy, you can't be sure whether it's business or pleasure. What should you do?

I'm certainly not one to go around making lewd assumptions about other people's private lives. However, if I did find myself feeling it's absolutely imperative to do something, next time I see them out together I would politely wave and greet them both by name as I glide past their table on my way to the ladies' room.

Fast news week

This has been a week for Big Important News to become immediately superceded by other Big Important News.

FOUR MOUNTIES WERE KILLED! OMG! Here's some background on the guy who did it and the issues it raises...but wait...

A MAN THREW HIS DAUGHTER OFF A BRIDGE! OMG! Here's some of their tumultuous family history and how the little girl is doing...but wait...

THEY'RE FILLING QUEEN'S PARK UP WITH TRACTORS!* OMG! It's all tying up traffic and here are what the farmers want...but wait...

A GUY LIT HIMSELF ON FIRE! OMG!

And this is where we are right now.

And it's only Wednesday.



*I still think they should do like the French and fill Queen's Park up with sheep or tomatoes or something.

Harry Potter theories (contains spoilers for the book covers, which were released today)

I haven't looked at the fan sites beyond a few comments at Leaky, so I don't know if this has been duplicated or disproven or what, but here are my theories:

I think that what Harry and Dumbledore are looking at in the Pensieve is the lion-like guy described earlier by JKR. I also currently suspect that lion-dude is the Half-Blood Prince, although I can be easily swayed by most of the current fan theories both on HBP and on Mr. Lion.

I also think the potions book is related to the HBP, and the author may well be the HBP/Lion Guy. I do think that Harry will be taking Potions, but I think he'll get in by scraping an E in his OWL, not through any special measures. However, I think the Potions book does not simply indicate that Harry will be taking Potions - it has some further purpose.

And my wildest and most unfounded speculation is that the fire-like spell shown on the British edition is the spell that Harry will use to defeat Voldemort. He will master this spell in HBP. It will be an ancient forgotten spell originating from the HBP, who might be long-dead or exiled from the wizarding world.

And BTW, I haven't checked this myself, but someone at Leaky mentioned that if you want ot read the first five books one chapter at a time and finish in time for HBP, today's the day to start. That makes the release of HBP feel so much closer, doesn't it/