Open Letter to HM Queen Elizabeth II, HRH Prince Charles, and HRH Prince William

Dear Current and Future Monarchs:

Apparently Justin Trudeau considering running for MP. I'm sure this means that eventually, someday, he will aspire to be Prime Minister of Canada. If this ever should happen, whichever one of you is reigning at the time must find some way to do a pirouette behind him.

Parking etiquette question

Some of the moving companies I'm looking into do in-home estimates, where they come and look at all my stuff and tell me from there how much they expect it to cost.

My question for any urban drivers reading this: am I expected to provide the estimate guy with parking?

My building has underground guest parking. Guests need to be let in with a building key, which means I'd have to escort them, which is perfectly normal for people who are actually my guests, but weird for someone I've just met. There is limited free one-hour parking on my street, but more often than not it's all full. There are some Green P lots in the area, but you have to pay for those.

Is parking a basic hospitality like offering a chair to sit in or a glass of water, or is it a business expense that he's responsible for?

Puppies!

If you haven't seen this yet, you must go look: Daily Puppy.

I know, I know, I say every dog I find is the cutest dog ever. But the puppies on Daily Puppy are so adorable that they often make my eyes well up with tears at their sheer adorableness.

Boring grownup stuff

The problem with arranging a move is that there's so much boring grownup stuff involved. I have to call people and get estimates for stuff and write cheques and watch my bank account balance and sign things. I've used the word "insurance" more in the past week than in the rest of my life combined! Don't get me wrong, I'd still rather be an adult than a child (I watched whatever I wanted on TV today! And now I'm playing computer games while drinking wine!) but this high density of boring grownup stuff is kind of getting me down.

This makes me glad I'm childfree and carfree. People with children and cars have to worry about stuff like this ALL THE TIME! Cars are giant resourcesucks, and with children you have to be doubley extra super-duper careful about EVERYTHING!

Maybe that's why those Kids Today people take childlessness as one of the signs of not being a grownup - because it affords you time to think about stuff other than boring grownup stuff.

Things They Should Invent: unwanted bottle drop-off point

With the new bottle deposit return system, I'm not going to take my bottles back to the Beer Store, because it's out of my way and a few cents isn't worth the trip to me. However, some of my local homeless do seem to think it's worth the trip, as I see them scavenging through my building's recycle dumpsters. But dumpster-diving is rather undignified, so it occurred to me that I might help out a bit by leaving my bottles in a bag outside the dumpster. But this is rather inconsiderate of my neighbours - it would be a mess if everyone kept leaving stuff outside the dumpsters.

What we really need is a central point where people who are too lazy to take their bottles back can just leave them behind - not in a dumpster, just in a small, civilized box - and someone who does have the need or initiative to go all the way to the Beer Store can take them and collect the deposit.

Police, fire, amubulance?

Last night while I was waiting for sleep to overcome me, I heard a strange noise outside. For a brief second I thought it meant someone was climbing the side of my building. Of course, that is impossible for anyone but Peter Parker. But the thought crossed my mind nevertheless.

Then I found myself thinking about what I'd do if someone was, in fact, climbing the side of the building. I'd call 911, of course. The thing is, according to what few 911 transcripts I've read, a 911 call starts with the operator asking if you need police, fire, or ambulance.

So what do you say if someone is climbing up the side of your building? You need the police because you have a would-be intruder. You need the fire department to get him down. And you need an ambulance for when he falls.

No wonder people think our urban 21-century lives are unnecessarily complicated!

Things They Should Invent: centralized directory of people's new email addresses

For my primary personal email address, I use the address that came with my ISP. It has been serving me well for the past four years, but when I move in a couple of months I'm going to have to use a different ISP, so I'll lose my primary email address. I will, of course, email everyone I correspond with to inform them of my new emaill address (no, I haven't decided what it will be yet), but if I miss someone - say, someone I went to university with, or someone who wants to hire me - they'll be SOL. Since I haven't made myself terribly googleable using my real name or my primary email address, I'll be very difficult to find. I don't mind anyone who knows my old address knowing my new address, but they might not be able to find me, and I have no way of knowing who might be looking for me.

I'd like to see a website that is specifically designed for the sole purpose of informing the world of email address changes. When you have to change your email address, you enter your old email address and your new email address in a form. You don't have to enter any other information if you don't want to. Then if someone comes looking for you, they just enter your old email address, and the website will give them your new email address. If they know the old address, they can get the new one with no difficulty. If they don't know the old address, they can't find you by searching by your name or anything, unless you set it up that way. Simple, straightforward, solves a lot of problems. But it will only work if there's only one centralized site, which, really, is the problem with many online things.

712-429-0268

I just got this call. I picked up and a recording said "Hi, this is Rachel from cardholder services, this is your last chance to reduce your interest rate." I then had the option of pressing 1 to reduce my interest rate. This is clearly a scam, not the least of which because I have three credit cards and she didn't identify which one she was with. So I did a *69 and got 712-429-0268. The internet tells me that this is in Iowa, which makes me certain this is a scam. My credit cards are Canadian! The thing I don't know is whether I need to report this, and if so to whom. I looked at the Phonebusters website, but they seem to be all about helping you if the scam succeeded.

Fun fact

I don't follow football. I know that the Superbowl was today, and I'm only certain about one of the teams that's playing and it's corresponding city, although I'd be willing to hazard a guess at what the other team is. I can't name any football players involved and don't know which team wears which uniform.

Based on the information currently available on the front page of Google News, I can't tell who won the Superbowl. I can tell that the game is over, and there are the names of some players and a small picture or two, but I can't figure it out without clicking on the articles.

Tolkien linguistics

When I was taking sociolinguistics, I did a lot of work on code-switching. I internalized most of the main reasons for code-switching (I used to be able to rattle off with absolute certainty and provide examples for the top ten reasons for code-switching. Now I'd give it a shot, but I'd check the textbook before writing a paper about it or anything.)

I just noticed that in LOTR, whenever Aragon is speaking Elvish and then switches back into English, it's a natural code-switch. Every time, he has a reason from the top ten list. I might do the same thing if I were in the same situation speaking French to a bilingual francophone.

I knew that Tolkien was a linguist, but I never realized before that there was such attention to detail. I just took it as an excuse for him to use the languages he created.

Update

I have an apartment, but not the apartment. The apartment was far far too expensive. But I'm more or less happy with what I got. More later, I'm done for today.

Me being foolish at 1 am

I feel ridiculous doing this, but Wil Wheaton once claimed it works for him, so may as well give it a shot.

If I can have a convergence of good karma (or, as Wil calls it, mojo) around 4pm tomorrow, I will get the very best apartment ever in the world. Like an apartment that's so good I won't even consider buying a condo when I make my fortune, because the apartment is better than any of the condos. Statistically, there's no reason why I should get it. There's only one that meets my needs so perfectly, and it will most likely be taken before I get there. Plus, economically and based on the price points that I've been provided, it should be priced out of my range. Rightfully, I shouldn't even be thinking about it. But mein Gott do I ever want it!

Last time I had a convergence of good karma was April 2003. That resulted in my current job, despite the fact that rightfully no such position should have existed. The previous convergence of good karma was March 2000, when I was permitted to write my entrance exam late after not being informed of the date, despite the fact that there were hundreds of candidates competing for mere dozens of positions and rightfully they should have just said "Sorry, try again next year." So, if I may be so presumptuous, maybe I'm about due for another karma convergence?

So if you have any good karma, positive energy, mojo, or anything helpful like that, please send it in my direction around 4 pm EST tomorrow (Feb. 3) if you have the ability to do so. If it works, I shall be eternally grateful. If it doesn't work, I won't even notice.

I wonder if I'm jinxing it by saying what it's for? Wil never says what it's for, but that might be because of the nature of his profession?

I dreamed about the new apartment last night

Last night I dreamed that I went to look at my new apartment - the one specific suite that (IRL) I want the most but don't know yet if it's going to be in my price range. I wandered in unilaterally to look at the suite, rather than going as part of my appointment.

I looked around and it was much bigger than I thought. Like ridiculously big - I couldn't see where the kitchen was because the main room was too big. I looked out the window, and saw that the building had a huge backyard - like just a giant patch of grass with a wooden fence around it like the one around my parents' backyard. (IRL it definitely does not have a backyard, and even if it did my parents' fence would be way out of place.) There was also a big chart on the wall telling you the names of the people in all the other apartments in the building.

Then I reached into my purse and took out my bed and my desk, and started placing them in different places around the room to see what they'd look like, all while looking over my shoulder to make sure I didn't get caught.

Then the neighbours dropped by. The first people came by with this awesome big dog, and let it run loose in my apartment. It made a beeline for my bed, and I was afraid it was going to hurt my stuffed animals because I'd just left them lying around, not thinking there would be a huge dog in my apartment. I was all "Your dog is awesome and I'm happy to meet him, but can you at least give me some warning?" Then all the other neighbours also came in, wandering through my apartment to see what it would look like. This one guy decided to take his sweater off, and left it on my bed. I asked him to take the discarded sweater with him ("Dude, I don't want your sweater, and my boyfriend's not going to be thrilled to see another man's clothes lying on my bed...") but he refused.

By that time it was apparent that, despite my meddling neighbours, everyone thought this was my apartment. Maybe I could just keep it! The only problem was, I had no idea how much the rent was. If only there was some way to find out without revealing that I didn't actually belong there yet! Just then, a rental agent walked in, and told me that my mother had talked to her (my mother isn't involved IRL) and negotiated a lower rent, so I could now afford the apartment. But the rental agent thought I already had the apartment too, so she didn't give me a lease to sign or tell me how much my new rent was. So I was stuck squatting in this apartment, unable to pay my rent because I didn't know how much it was, with all my neighbours walking through, a big dog running around out of control, and a strange man leaving his clothes on my bed.

Then my alarm went off.

Experiment idea

I'm watching Jeopardy on ABC instead of CTV, and the American TV commercials seem just a bit...off. I can't quite articulate why, but there's obviously a subtle cultural difference.

So I'd like to see an experiment: get a collection of Canadians and Americans, show them some commercials that haven't aired yet, and see if they can guess if the commercial Canadian or American.

Not dead yet

Big things are in motion re: my possible new apartment, so I'm just angsty and antsy and on edge this week and probably am not going to be blogging much (or watching my comments) for the rest of the week, unless I get bored on my work-from-home days. On tap for when the drama settles down: my theories on aliens, my superpowers and lack thereof, the semantics of atheism, and at least one either elated or devastated post about the new apartment.

East or West?

I might find myself in the position of choosing between two apartments that are identical except that one faces east and the other faces west.

There are two primary factors involved: sun and wind.

East gets more sun in the morning, West gets more sun in the afternoon. East would be better for my cicardian rhythms and marginally better both in winter and summer insofar as sunlight will warm my apartment (in the winter I'd rather have warmth in the morning, and in summer I'd rather have coolness at night). West would allow me to enjoy sun-filled rooms for more hours a day (since if I'm home during the day, I'm likely to be asleep in the morning and awake in the afternoon).

The prevailing winds come from the west, so West gets more wind and East gets wind only rarely. Wind is very very good in the summer (helps cool and freshen the apartment naturally) and marginally bad in the winter (seeps in and makes things colder). Less wind might also mean that my windows don't get as dirty on the outside.

If everything functions optimally - my blinds can keep out the sun, my heating and air conditioning work, the windows are well-sealed - the primary factor will be my circadian rhythms (favouring East), with the fact that I like having wind blow into my windows in good weatther (favouring West) coming in a not-close but not-distant second.

If my air conditioning stops working, wind becomes far more important (favouring West) and sun somewhat more important (favouring East). The air conditioning system is new, which reduces the chance of age-related difficulties but increases the chance of teething troubles.

Other things that can go wrong have a more marginal effect. The biggie is presence or absence of air conditioning. I guess it's also dependent on whether I can turn on my air conditioning at will regardless of the date, or whether the whole building switches twice a year. I don't have this information yet. Being cool in the summer is more important to me than being warm in the winter.

Any thoughts? Would you pick East or West?

Brilliant Ideas That Will Never Work: magnetize all cars

All cars should have the same magnetic polarity. That way they won't be able to crash into each other.

Ambassador taxis

The City of Toronto has this Ambassador taxi licence program. I don't know the details, but apparently Ambassador drivers are have more training and are generally more l33t or something.

A newspaper article I was reading reminded me of this, so I found myself wondering how a customer would go about getting an Ambassador taxi. Standard googling couldn't tell me. I know you could flag one down if you see one, but I have no idea if you can call and ask for them, or if they have a special phone number, or what.

What's the point of having a special program if you don't tell the prospective clients how to access it?

Dogs in bars

Washington State is considering changing the law to allow people to bring dogs into bars.

I'm all for more dogs everywhere. However, I'm also sympathetic to people who are afraid of dogs. But what would be interesting about allowing dogs in bars is how it would completely change the dynamic of picking up people in bars. Dogs are a great conversation starter, which is wonderful if you want to meet people, but a problem if you have a dog to walk but don't want to have to chat with anyone (or if you're like me and want to talk to every dog you see, but don't want to lead anyone on.)