Police, fire, amubulance?

Last night while I was waiting for sleep to overcome me, I heard a strange noise outside. For a brief second I thought it meant someone was climbing the side of my building. Of course, that is impossible for anyone but Peter Parker. But the thought crossed my mind nevertheless.

Then I found myself thinking about what I'd do if someone was, in fact, climbing the side of the building. I'd call 911, of course. The thing is, according to what few 911 transcripts I've read, a 911 call starts with the operator asking if you need police, fire, or ambulance.

So what do you say if someone is climbing up the side of your building? You need the police because you have a would-be intruder. You need the fire department to get him down. And you need an ambulance for when he falls.

No wonder people think our urban 21-century lives are unnecessarily complicated!

Things They Should Invent: centralized directory of people's new email addresses

For my primary personal email address, I use the address that came with my ISP. It has been serving me well for the past four years, but when I move in a couple of months I'm going to have to use a different ISP, so I'll lose my primary email address. I will, of course, email everyone I correspond with to inform them of my new emaill address (no, I haven't decided what it will be yet), but if I miss someone - say, someone I went to university with, or someone who wants to hire me - they'll be SOL. Since I haven't made myself terribly googleable using my real name or my primary email address, I'll be very difficult to find. I don't mind anyone who knows my old address knowing my new address, but they might not be able to find me, and I have no way of knowing who might be looking for me.

I'd like to see a website that is specifically designed for the sole purpose of informing the world of email address changes. When you have to change your email address, you enter your old email address and your new email address in a form. You don't have to enter any other information if you don't want to. Then if someone comes looking for you, they just enter your old email address, and the website will give them your new email address. If they know the old address, they can get the new one with no difficulty. If they don't know the old address, they can't find you by searching by your name or anything, unless you set it up that way. Simple, straightforward, solves a lot of problems. But it will only work if there's only one centralized site, which, really, is the problem with many online things.

712-429-0268

I just got this call. I picked up and a recording said "Hi, this is Rachel from cardholder services, this is your last chance to reduce your interest rate." I then had the option of pressing 1 to reduce my interest rate. This is clearly a scam, not the least of which because I have three credit cards and she didn't identify which one she was with. So I did a *69 and got 712-429-0268. The internet tells me that this is in Iowa, which makes me certain this is a scam. My credit cards are Canadian! The thing I don't know is whether I need to report this, and if so to whom. I looked at the Phonebusters website, but they seem to be all about helping you if the scam succeeded.

Fun fact

I don't follow football. I know that the Superbowl was today, and I'm only certain about one of the teams that's playing and it's corresponding city, although I'd be willing to hazard a guess at what the other team is. I can't name any football players involved and don't know which team wears which uniform.

Based on the information currently available on the front page of Google News, I can't tell who won the Superbowl. I can tell that the game is over, and there are the names of some players and a small picture or two, but I can't figure it out without clicking on the articles.

Tolkien linguistics

When I was taking sociolinguistics, I did a lot of work on code-switching. I internalized most of the main reasons for code-switching (I used to be able to rattle off with absolute certainty and provide examples for the top ten reasons for code-switching. Now I'd give it a shot, but I'd check the textbook before writing a paper about it or anything.)

I just noticed that in LOTR, whenever Aragon is speaking Elvish and then switches back into English, it's a natural code-switch. Every time, he has a reason from the top ten list. I might do the same thing if I were in the same situation speaking French to a bilingual francophone.

I knew that Tolkien was a linguist, but I never realized before that there was such attention to detail. I just took it as an excuse for him to use the languages he created.

Update

I have an apartment, but not the apartment. The apartment was far far too expensive. But I'm more or less happy with what I got. More later, I'm done for today.

Me being foolish at 1 am

I feel ridiculous doing this, but Wil Wheaton once claimed it works for him, so may as well give it a shot.

If I can have a convergence of good karma (or, as Wil calls it, mojo) around 4pm tomorrow, I will get the very best apartment ever in the world. Like an apartment that's so good I won't even consider buying a condo when I make my fortune, because the apartment is better than any of the condos. Statistically, there's no reason why I should get it. There's only one that meets my needs so perfectly, and it will most likely be taken before I get there. Plus, economically and based on the price points that I've been provided, it should be priced out of my range. Rightfully, I shouldn't even be thinking about it. But mein Gott do I ever want it!

Last time I had a convergence of good karma was April 2003. That resulted in my current job, despite the fact that rightfully no such position should have existed. The previous convergence of good karma was March 2000, when I was permitted to write my entrance exam late after not being informed of the date, despite the fact that there were hundreds of candidates competing for mere dozens of positions and rightfully they should have just said "Sorry, try again next year." So, if I may be so presumptuous, maybe I'm about due for another karma convergence?

So if you have any good karma, positive energy, mojo, or anything helpful like that, please send it in my direction around 4 pm EST tomorrow (Feb. 3) if you have the ability to do so. If it works, I shall be eternally grateful. If it doesn't work, I won't even notice.

I wonder if I'm jinxing it by saying what it's for? Wil never says what it's for, but that might be because of the nature of his profession?

I dreamed about the new apartment last night

Last night I dreamed that I went to look at my new apartment - the one specific suite that (IRL) I want the most but don't know yet if it's going to be in my price range. I wandered in unilaterally to look at the suite, rather than going as part of my appointment.

I looked around and it was much bigger than I thought. Like ridiculously big - I couldn't see where the kitchen was because the main room was too big. I looked out the window, and saw that the building had a huge backyard - like just a giant patch of grass with a wooden fence around it like the one around my parents' backyard. (IRL it definitely does not have a backyard, and even if it did my parents' fence would be way out of place.) There was also a big chart on the wall telling you the names of the people in all the other apartments in the building.

Then I reached into my purse and took out my bed and my desk, and started placing them in different places around the room to see what they'd look like, all while looking over my shoulder to make sure I didn't get caught.

Then the neighbours dropped by. The first people came by with this awesome big dog, and let it run loose in my apartment. It made a beeline for my bed, and I was afraid it was going to hurt my stuffed animals because I'd just left them lying around, not thinking there would be a huge dog in my apartment. I was all "Your dog is awesome and I'm happy to meet him, but can you at least give me some warning?" Then all the other neighbours also came in, wandering through my apartment to see what it would look like. This one guy decided to take his sweater off, and left it on my bed. I asked him to take the discarded sweater with him ("Dude, I don't want your sweater, and my boyfriend's not going to be thrilled to see another man's clothes lying on my bed...") but he refused.

By that time it was apparent that, despite my meddling neighbours, everyone thought this was my apartment. Maybe I could just keep it! The only problem was, I had no idea how much the rent was. If only there was some way to find out without revealing that I didn't actually belong there yet! Just then, a rental agent walked in, and told me that my mother had talked to her (my mother isn't involved IRL) and negotiated a lower rent, so I could now afford the apartment. But the rental agent thought I already had the apartment too, so she didn't give me a lease to sign or tell me how much my new rent was. So I was stuck squatting in this apartment, unable to pay my rent because I didn't know how much it was, with all my neighbours walking through, a big dog running around out of control, and a strange man leaving his clothes on my bed.

Then my alarm went off.

Experiment idea

I'm watching Jeopardy on ABC instead of CTV, and the American TV commercials seem just a bit...off. I can't quite articulate why, but there's obviously a subtle cultural difference.

So I'd like to see an experiment: get a collection of Canadians and Americans, show them some commercials that haven't aired yet, and see if they can guess if the commercial Canadian or American.

Not dead yet

Big things are in motion re: my possible new apartment, so I'm just angsty and antsy and on edge this week and probably am not going to be blogging much (or watching my comments) for the rest of the week, unless I get bored on my work-from-home days. On tap for when the drama settles down: my theories on aliens, my superpowers and lack thereof, the semantics of atheism, and at least one either elated or devastated post about the new apartment.

East or West?

I might find myself in the position of choosing between two apartments that are identical except that one faces east and the other faces west.

There are two primary factors involved: sun and wind.

East gets more sun in the morning, West gets more sun in the afternoon. East would be better for my cicardian rhythms and marginally better both in winter and summer insofar as sunlight will warm my apartment (in the winter I'd rather have warmth in the morning, and in summer I'd rather have coolness at night). West would allow me to enjoy sun-filled rooms for more hours a day (since if I'm home during the day, I'm likely to be asleep in the morning and awake in the afternoon).

The prevailing winds come from the west, so West gets more wind and East gets wind only rarely. Wind is very very good in the summer (helps cool and freshen the apartment naturally) and marginally bad in the winter (seeps in and makes things colder). Less wind might also mean that my windows don't get as dirty on the outside.

If everything functions optimally - my blinds can keep out the sun, my heating and air conditioning work, the windows are well-sealed - the primary factor will be my circadian rhythms (favouring East), with the fact that I like having wind blow into my windows in good weatther (favouring West) coming in a not-close but not-distant second.

If my air conditioning stops working, wind becomes far more important (favouring West) and sun somewhat more important (favouring East). The air conditioning system is new, which reduces the chance of age-related difficulties but increases the chance of teething troubles.

Other things that can go wrong have a more marginal effect. The biggie is presence or absence of air conditioning. I guess it's also dependent on whether I can turn on my air conditioning at will regardless of the date, or whether the whole building switches twice a year. I don't have this information yet. Being cool in the summer is more important to me than being warm in the winter.

Any thoughts? Would you pick East or West?

Brilliant Ideas That Will Never Work: magnetize all cars

All cars should have the same magnetic polarity. That way they won't be able to crash into each other.

Ambassador taxis

The City of Toronto has this Ambassador taxi licence program. I don't know the details, but apparently Ambassador drivers are have more training and are generally more l33t or something.

A newspaper article I was reading reminded me of this, so I found myself wondering how a customer would go about getting an Ambassador taxi. Standard googling couldn't tell me. I know you could flag one down if you see one, but I have no idea if you can call and ask for them, or if they have a special phone number, or what.

What's the point of having a special program if you don't tell the prospective clients how to access it?

Dogs in bars

Washington State is considering changing the law to allow people to bring dogs into bars.

I'm all for more dogs everywhere. However, I'm also sympathetic to people who are afraid of dogs. But what would be interesting about allowing dogs in bars is how it would completely change the dynamic of picking up people in bars. Dogs are a great conversation starter, which is wonderful if you want to meet people, but a problem if you have a dog to walk but don't want to have to chat with anyone (or if you're like me and want to talk to every dog you see, but don't want to lead anyone on.)

The legal details of fake police officers

Assaulting a police officer and resisting arrest are both crimes.
Impersonating a police officer is also a crime.
If someone was impersonating a police officer and tried to arrest someone else, I think that would also be a crime beyond the fact that they're impersonating a police officer.

I wonder which crime receives the greater punishment? I wonder what happens if a real police officer tries to arrest someone, but the person being arrested has reason to believe that it isn't a real police officer and thus tries to escape, I wonder what kind of trouble they'd get in?

Why is real estate considered a good investment?

I always thought that buying your home was considered a good thing because then when you're old it will be paid off, thus reducing your operating expenses in retirement. But reading the letters for this Cary Tennis column, I see that it's considered a good investment as an actual investment - a way to make money.

The more I think about this, the less I see it. Help me out here, tell me what I'm missing.

Let's assume you have a nice paid-off house that you paid off yourself over the years, and then it appreciated as real estate tends to do. So your house is worth more dollars than you paid into it. I understand that much.

But suppose you want to get at some of those dollars? My understanding is that you have two options: borrow against your house, or sell your house.

If you borrow against your house, you have a loan that you have to pay back. You haven't gotten at any new money, you've just borrowed some. This isn't a money-making investment, it's just another loan option that's especially important to pay back lest you lose your house.

If you sell your house, you still have to live somewhere. So you have to either buy or rent somewhere else to live. Your home equity is more dollars than you had before, but this is because real estate appreciates, so housing costs everywhere will have increased comparably. I suppose if you rent after you sell your house, then you can use your house money to pay your rent, but it the money still has to be spent. You have to live somewhere, after all. So you aren't really making money, you're just spending it differently.

I suppose it would work if you expect your housing needs to become smaller in the future. If you buy a big house to raise children in and then downsize after they've launched, you might come out with more money. If you're living somewhere expensive and then move to somewhere cheap, you might come out with more money. If you own property and then move in together with someone else who owns property, then you might come out with more money. But for everyday life where your housing needs remain the same, I don't see how you can actually make money out of it. What am I missing?

Lenscrafters

I bought new glasses from Lenscrafters.

Product quality: excellent - I don't feel like I've compromised at all.

Customer service: excellent - friendly, honest, didn't pressure me to spend more even though I (inadvertently) gave them a few openings to do so, went a wee bit above and beyond.

Product selection: decent - could always be better because there are way more frames in existence than shelf space, but I found a few suitable frames so I can't complain.

Store layout: suboptimal - I find it very difficult to browse, I have to deliberately force myself to look at each frame, there are frames in these drawer things that appear to be showing you their entire contents but you actually have to pull them out.

Price: either the prices are way too high, or my insurance is way too low. People who don't have the same insurance of me have told me that my insurance is good, but the fact of the matter is it doesn't cover the lenses on my prescription, to say nothing of the frames. This is always a dilemma for me. I feel like I should refuse to spend more than my insurance covers so as to manipulate market forces, but the fact that glasses are something that I must wear at all times on my face in order to see keeps winning out, and I end up spending 2x-3x my insurace amount on optimizing appearance and user experience. And then I feel guilty for manipulating market forces in the wrong direction.

But, on a positive note, I can see!

Know what I hate?

I hate when something comes up in the media and I have something to say that the media isn't mentioning, so I blog about it and write any appropriate letters, and then a few months later it comes up in the media again, still without my point included.

Realistically I know my blog has small readership, and realistically I know that my elected representatives and any relevant corporations and newspapers' letters to the editor columns get a lot of letters and they can't change their actions in response to every one.

But it's still very frustrating because whenever an issue resurfaces, I feel like I'm negligent if I don't address it, and I really don't have anything new to say. My blog is repetitive enough without my making a point to harp on every single issue that resurfaces. But my silence might also be misconstrued as apathy, which it isn't.

Sally Hansen Miracle Cure

Of all the many nail strengthening products I've tried in my life, this one works best, no question! I used to have 10 nails of various lengths, all with peels. By trimming off the peeled sections as they grew, I managed 10 short nails, all with peels. By using Sally Hansen No More Peeling and trimming off the peels whenever possible, the best I could manage was 10 short nails, four of which had peels. After using Miracle Cure for about two weeks and trimming off the peels as they grow out, I now have 7 long nails (i.e. past my finger tips) without peels, 1 short nail without peels, and 2 short nails with peels. This is the best my nails have ever been in my life, including the period when I ate meat.