Dear Fashion Powers That Be:
I'm glad to hear that the Midriff is Out. Really I am. However, the problem is, for my entire adult life the Midriff has been In. Even though I was making every effort to cover my midriff I was limited by the fashions that were commercially available, so I now have a closet full of clothes that reveal my midriff when I stretch or bend or reach. So what am I supposed to do now? This season's colours and shapes aren't particularly flattering on me - I could use more reds, more V-necks, more long shirts that don't looks stupid tucked in and lumpy untucked over pants, fewer pales and neutrals, fewer empire waists, more cuts that can accomodate a short, high waist on an endomorphic body without making me look lumpy or pregnant. I'm certainly not going to buy a whole new wardrobe that is so unflattering to me! And while my midriff is forgiveable when fashion realities make the occasional glimpse inevitable, it isn't nearly pleasant-looking enough to be exposed when midriffs are Out.
I didn't have the opportunity to build up an adult wardrobe that covers the midriff under all circumstances, because the Midriff started being In when I was about 15. So now I'm stuck with a closet full of clothes that exposes a body part that is neither fashionable nor attractive to expose, and a mall full of clothes that are unflattering.
What on earth am I supposed to do now?
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