Friday, April 23, 2021
What to do if you're concerned about someone's health
Friday, April 09, 2021
The big stuck boat as an analogy for political disagreements in relationships
There's no debate over whether or not the big boat is stuck: it is a big boat, and it is stuck, and we are all aware of those facts, even those of us who are currently located in outer space.Furthermore, most of us share the opinion that it's disagreeable, logistically, for the boat to be stuck. The boat being stuck is inconvenient. It's a big disruption! Nobody can say it isn't a big disruption. None of my distant relatives will get into arguments on The Face Website about whether or not the stuck boat is making a nuisance for lots of people. I like that.
Now imagine if, instead of a ship on the other side of the world, the problem is something more immediate, something that threatens your survival or safety or bodily integrity, or that of people you care about.
To use the example that's at the forefront of everyone's mind, you're trying to keep people safe from the virus, and but there's someone insisting the virus doesn't exist and advocating for activities that will spread the virus.
They're just . . . in the way, aren't they?
If they're someone you already care about, you might feel it's worth keeping them in your life despite the fact that they're in the way. Or you might not. But if they're a new person, there's really no point in bringing them into your life if all they're going to do is get your boat more stuck.
Tuesday, April 06, 2021
"She bought a house" vs. "We bought a house"
This blog post discusses a non-sex-related letter from a sex advice column. The text of my blog post is perfectly G-rated, but the linked advice column contains NSFW textual content.
From a recent Savage Love:
If my fiancé bought a house, do we say, "We bought a house"? I got laid off at the start of the pandemic, but her career has taken off and she's proud of being able to afford a house all on her own. So how do we keep things respectful while still honoring her accomplishment? She wants the house to feel like mine as well. (I'm a dude.)
This is something you should discuss with your partner. See what kind of external messaging she would prefer, see if it aligns with the kind of external messaging you'd prefer. Work together as a team to develop a joint external comms strategy. (Developing a joint external comms strategy is a fantastic couple's activity!)
While some people do value the accomplishment of being able to afford a major purchase all on their own, another thing that some people value is having a partner who is openly and publicly committed to them.
"She bought a house" could come across as you not yet being all in about building a future together, whereas "We bought a house" is a public statement that you're a team and that you're committed to each other. Some people (myself included) would find the public statement that we're a team far more desirable!
Also, some people don't want to disclose how much money they make, especially if they make more money than people around them. Obfuscating whose money went into the house in what quantities would help your fiancée keep information about her salary more private, if that's of concern to her.
Of course, I'm a random internet stranger and have no idea what's of interest to her. You have a better idea than I do, and your fiancée knows better than either of us. So check in with her, and keep things respectful and honour her accomplishment and your relationship by leading with the message that she (and you) want to convey.
Monday, April 05, 2021
Another idea for Captain Awkward #1323
There is a word people use all the time as filler in their speech. I first noticed it about 8 years ago and thought it was a quirk of my local progressive scene. (This is similar to someone hating “like” although I think my word is less common than that.) It has metastasized and is now popping up all over. I want to listen to podcasts where smart people talk about policy and cultural issues but sometimes I just shut them off because the word is driving me up the wall. I feel like I’m not old enough to hate a word used by young people but unfortunately I do.I don’t want to miss out on people’s wisdom (delivered for free via podcast or radio) over a silly word! Do you have any ideas for not caring about this anymore?
Wednesday, March 31, 2021
Books read in March 2021
New:
1. No Place to Go: How Public Toilets Fail our Private Needs by Lezlie Lowe
Reread:
1. Survivor in Death
Monday, March 08, 2021
Things They Should Invent: filter online shopping products by weight
Latest pandemic malfunction: my 18-year-old TV finally gave up the ghost.
I bought a new TV easily enough, but it's a bit too big for my existing TV stand. So I'm shopping for some kind of TV stand or table or cart or something to put it on.
Problem: the products that catch my eye keep being heavier than I can lift.
Under normal circumstances this isn't so much of a problem. Normally, we can have furniture delivered. Normally, it's not a huge imposition to ask someone to pop by and help me move or assemble something.
But during a global pandemic, this isn't an option. My building's pandemic rules prohibit delivery people from coming up to apartments, instead telling them to leave the deliveries at the concierge desk and residents will bring them up. My building's pandemic rules also prohibit visitors, and public health rules are also telling me not to have contact with other households. (Sometimes public health rules let single people bubble with another household, but there are zero people in my life whose risk factors permit visiting me and aren't already bubbled with another household.) So during the pandemic, I'm limited to what I can lift myself and assemble myself.
Online shopping sites could help me with this by letting me filter products by weight, so I only see those that are light enough for me to bring up to my apartment myself and assemble myself.
The websites already have this information - it tends to be listed right under dimensions.
The websites already let you filter by various variables, such as price and size. I can already tell the website "show me all the TVs under 35 inches", so why not "show me all the TV stands under 40 pounds"?
Building on this, they really should let you filter by any characteristic that is listed on the site. Country manufactured, inseam length, number of USB ports, anything. People have all kinds of oddly specific requirements, so, especially in this pandemic era where more shopping is being done online than ever before, why not let us pinpoint exactly what we need?
Sunday, March 07, 2021
The Toronto Star should print URLs next to QR codes
During the pandemic, I've been reading the epaper versions of the my newspapers rather than getting my usual home delivery, and I've noticed an annoyance: links to further information on the Toronto Star site are provided as a QR code, without a corresponding URL provided.
This is an annoyance by itself in the print version, because it only gives you the option of opening the link on a mobile device, even if you'd prefer to read on a computer.
But it's all the more annoying in the epaper version, because epaper readers are already reading on their preferred device for reading a newspaper electronically! If I'm reading on my computer like I usually do, I could, theoretically, grab my phone and scan the QR code. But what if I was already reading on my phone? Surely there are many households that don't have extra mobile devices just sitting around unused for every time you want to click a link!
If the Star would simply print URLs next to (or instead of) QR codes, everyone could access the links by the means most convenient to them, thereby maximizing the number of eyeballs on the Star's website. Using the QR code alone is inconvenient to many and impenetrable to some. There's no reason not to continue printing URLs, like they have since the advent of URLs.
Wednesday, March 03, 2021
The mystery of the semantically null Amazon reviews
Tuesday, March 02, 2021
Things They Should Study: would replacing property tax with a municipal income tax meet our needs better?
Sunday, February 28, 2021
Books read in February 2021
Saturday, February 06, 2021
Things They Should Invent: beds that adults can safely jump on
One of the delights of childhood is jumping on the bed.
But you can't jump on the bed as an adult, because you'll break the bed.
This is a marketing opportunity!
Someone should invent beds that are sturdy enough for adults to jump on! Bonus points for them being sturdy enough for two or more adults to jump on! Extra bonus points for those two or more adults being in the 80th percentile of weight! Super duper bonus points for somehow working out a way to do this without disturbing the people in the apartment downstairs!
I have no idea how to figure out what kind of bed to buy, and I would totally buy a bed I could jump on solely on the basis that I can jump on it.
I'm sure there would also be a market among people whose bedroom activities are particularly athletic, and an additional market among people who want to give the impression that their bedroom activities are particularly athletic.
Sunday, January 31, 2021
Books read in January 2021
New:
1. Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if your Life Depended on It by Chris Voss with Tahl Raz
2. Feeding My Mother: Comfort and Laughter in the Kitchen as My Mom Lives with Memory Loss by Jann Arden
Reread:
1. Divided in Death
Monday, January 25, 2021
Things They Should Invent: all bathrooms must be completely slip-proof
Sunday, January 03, 2021
Vaccine conspiracy theory conspiracy theory
If I were to assemble the elements of the current situation into a conspiracy theory, that theory would be that people in positions of power were contributing to the spread of anti-vaccine conspiracy theories and/or not working to debunk these theories to create conditions where those in positions of power would have to be at the front of the line for any vaccine roll-out in order to set an example.
If vaccine reluctance wasn't a thing, there would be no reason to vaccinate politicians and public figures ahead of front-line workers, health workers, food workers, etc. But now that vaccine reluctance is a thing, politicians and public figures can very publicly go straight to the front of the vaccine queue, be photographed getting their vaccine, and be lauded for setting a good example.
Saturday, January 02, 2021
My 2021 new year's resolution
I hadn't been planning on making a resolution, but a simple and useful one came to me a couple of weeks ago:
While the coffee brews, I'll do something I've been procrastinating.
Normally, while the coffee is brewing, I stare blankly at the internet doing nothing - after all, I can't do anything productive when I haven't had my coffee yet!
So now, instead of doing nothing, I'll do something I've been procrastinating. Something small, because it doesn't take that long for coffee to brew. Empty the dishwasher. Break down a cardboard box for recycling. Make an online purchase.
Since it doesn't take very long for coffee to brew, I might not finish my task. I might just empty one rack of the dishwasher, or just manage to remove the tape from the box, or just add one item to my cart. That's okay. I can stop when the coffee is ready. Or I can keep up the momentum, whatever feels right in the moment.
This works well for me for several reasons:
1. I respond well to "sprints" - working full-out at a task until some external phenomenon interrupts me. (Yes, I've heard of the pomodoro method. No, it hasn't solved all my life problems.) Coffee brewing time is the perfect length for a sprint.
2. This doesn't require any additional time commitment. Not even the infamous "just 15 minutes a day!" Coffee brewing time was previously unused dead time, and I've found a way to make use of it.
3. It helps me address the things that fall through the cracks in my system. Some things pile up because there isn't a place for them in my system (which I never managed to figure out how to reboot), or because there isn't enough room for them in my system. This lets me make progress on those things without having to figure out how to revamp the system, or having to take the emotional risk of completely disregarding the system.
4. There are no specific "shoulds" or tacit prerequisites on my "to do while the coffee brews" list. Part of the problem with my system is I've inadvertently imposed prerequisites on myself. I keep falling into a trap of "I can't do the thing that really needs doing because the system dictates that I have to do other things first!" (Unfortunately, removing prerequisites isn't sufficient to fix the system and sometimes would bring its own problems.) But while the coffee brews, anything that needs doing meets the requirements.
I've been doing this for a few weeks already, and have made a noticeable dent in my tangible and mental to-do piles. (If you could see my piles, you'd be like "That's an after picture???" and the answer is yes, it is.) We'll see if it's enough to affect my quality of life in the long run.
Tuesday, December 29, 2020
Journalism Wanted: where does Courtney Love get her COVID tests from?
Recently tweeted into my feed: Courtney Love says that wealthy people have had access to home COVID tests for months.
The article that was tweeted into my feed and others I've been able to google up basically reiterate the content of Courtney Love's original instagram post.
But there a lot of questions here that some mild investigative journalism should be able to answer - or, at least, pinpoint the non-answers.
Who manufactures these tests? Who sells them? Are they out of reach to the general public because of price? Or because the test company will only sell to famous people? Or some other reason? How did Courtney Love and others like her find out about them in the first place? When Courtney Love wants to buy a COVID test, exactly what steps does she take? What would happen if a regular person who isn't rich and famous took those exact same steps? If someone asked Courtney Love where exactly she gets these tests from, what would her answer be? Would she decline to answer because they'd deny her tests if she leaked? Or for some other reason? Is manufacturing capacity limited? If so, what would it take to scale up?
Courtney Love's post flagged a problem, but didn't pinpoint what exactly the problem is. It could be anything from the utterly banal "home COVID tests cannot be produced at a sustainable price point" to the utterly terrifying "some malicious actor is trying to make sure only the rich and famous survive COVID by concealing the existence of convenient tests from the rest of us".
The job of journalism is to tell people what exactly the underlying problem here is, not just to transcribe Courtney Love's instagram posts. With a bit of investigative journalism, this would be a very interesting and probably very important story. But without the investigation, it's nothing but a celebrity gossip feed.
Thursday, December 24, 2020
Things They Should Invent: one-way mirror webcam cover
A challenge with video chat is eye contact. We're inclined to either look at our interlocutor's eyes on screen, or to look at ourselves on screen. This means we aren't looking at the camera, and therefore appear shifty and weird to our interlocutors.
Proposed solution: a cover for the webcam made of a one-way mirror. In other words, the webcam can see you, but you see the mirror. If you make eye contact with yourself in the mirror, you're looking directly at the camera, so it looks to your interlocutor like you're making eye contact with them.
This would also make it easier to modulate your facial expression. I know that if I leave my facial expression unmonitored during a video chat, I tend to look like I'm sneering. (Really, my lips are just asymmetrical). But if I monitor my facial expression on the screen, I'm not looking at the camera and therefore look like I'm not paying attention. A mirror over the camera would make it easier to perform up to expectations.
Tuesday, December 22, 2020
40
I turn 40 today!
I think I am in a good place in life.
- Apart from the fact that I'm not married, I've done literally everything I imagined doing with my life. I have no bucket list.
- I'm weathering the pandemic well, and sustainably. I was sprinting at first and had to dial it back to a marathon pace, but I can keep this up long-term if necessary.
- So many of the life decisions I made when I was younger - so many of the life decisions people tried to dissuade me from! - have paid off during the pandemic. Obviously luck and privilege also contributed strongly to my coming through the pandemic well, but it's remarkable to me how basically every life decision people tried to dissuade me from paid off during this pandemic.
- My job comes easily to me. It's harder after my head injury, but still doesn't meet the criteria of objectively hard.
- Based on information to date, buying my condo was the right decision.
- My body continues to do what I need it to as well as it ever has. Any issues are head-injury-related, not aging-related. (Of course, I'd also love for the head injury to no longer be a factor.)
- I have social capital, at least in the circles I move in. At work, with family and friends, in the community, I can say "I think we should do X" or "No, I won't be doing Y", and I'm heard and respected. I can also say "I don't know how this works, what do I do?" or "I'm frightened and confused" or "I can't lift this", and people help. (Again, privilege is certainly a factor, but it didn't work this way for me when I was younger.) In non-pandemic times, people I know will let me hold their baby, and even strangers will let me pet their dog.
- I've been following a lot of younger people on Twitter, and it makes me feel confident about the future and quite content to step aside and let the youth lead. They tend to be more radical than people I encounter in the natural course of my life (most of whom are my age or older), and I feel good about this. I like the idea of a world where people like me are dated and old-school and things are growing and evolving beyond what we could even imagine when we were visiting geocities sites with our dial-up modems.
- I've recently stumbled into a new fandom (Good Omens!) and it's really good for me. I'm going through the same kind of growth and evolution as when I fell into Eddie Izzard fandom 13 years ago, and I'm looking forward to seeing who I become when I emerge on the other side.
Horoscopes
My birthday horoscopes ceased having any remotely accurate interpretation with my head injury, but I'm still recording them here for my own reference.
Artistic activities must be giving every chance to thrive over the coming year, even if it means having to cut back on work and getting by on less financially. You’ve been promising to create something amazing for as long as you can remember, so get to it!
Profound, patient and prepared, you are in it for the long haul. A project you passionately believe in begins and succeeds brilliantly in 2022. Your strongly controlled emotions will find an outlet this year. If single, you tend to be solitary, but you do fall in love this year, in May. If attached, your relationship adds much richness to your life. GEMINI is light and almost ethereal compared to you.
As an aside, my horoscopes promise me love every year and it never materializes. This year's Globe & Mail horoscope is the first one I can remember that didn't promise me love.
(Also, absolutely everyone in the world is light and almost ethereal compared to me, and I'm not sure why that's in my horoscope.)