The problem with trying new mascara is you don't know if it will work better than your previous mascara. Obviously they can't have in-store testers for sanitary reasons, but still it really sucks to drop ten bucks on something that ends up being worse than what you were using before (and therefore is useless).
Solution: very small tubes of mascara that sell for maybe two or three dollars. They have the same brush as the regular mascara because the brush is an essential part of the application, but the brush handle is shorter and they only contain a few days' worth of mascara. You drop a couple of bucks, test it, and if it's better you buy a full-sized tube with an easier-to-use full-size brush handle. Maybe they could even sell it at a loss, because people totally aren't going to use mascara brush with an inch-long handle for everyday.
I can think of at least three mascaras I would try if I didn't have to pay full price for them. If only one company did this, they'd be in the best position to win over new customers
Friday, March 06, 2009
Mother Nature gives us a quickie
It went up to a sunny 16 degrees today, and the wind was pushing 50 km/h. At lunch I went for a walk. With no coat on. And my hair down. Wearing my sunglasses for the first time in 2009. The wind (warm! comfortable! pleasant!) bounced off all the tall buildings and came at me from every direction, whipping my hair in front of my face, then trailing it in a ribbon behind me, then blowing it straight up in the air and making it settle in a cloud over my shoulders.
I came back to work flushed and tousled, and all was right with the world. Then I put my regular glasses back on, put my hair back up, and got back to work.
I came back to work flushed and tousled, and all was right with the world. Then I put my regular glasses back on, put my hair back up, and got back to work.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Why I love Toronto
Spacing and the Star both have lists of reasons why they love Toronto.
Here's mine: in Toronto I'm nothing special.
Growing up, I was the weird girl with the long hair and the accent. In Toronto, there's always someone around who's weirder, or has longer hair, or has a stronger accent.
Elsewhere, people tend to be impressed because I have a handful of European languages. In Toronto, they're vaguely disappointed that I don't speak, say, Thai.
Elsewhere, I've had people be impressed because I can dabble in a few musical instruments. In Toronto, there's a busker right there playing a bassoon, and the one in the other subway station was playing some strange instrument I've never seen before in my life.
Here, I never get the opportunity to develop the illusion that any of these things are special, and I'm a better person for it.
Here's mine: in Toronto I'm nothing special.
Growing up, I was the weird girl with the long hair and the accent. In Toronto, there's always someone around who's weirder, or has longer hair, or has a stronger accent.
Elsewhere, people tend to be impressed because I have a handful of European languages. In Toronto, they're vaguely disappointed that I don't speak, say, Thai.
Elsewhere, I've had people be impressed because I can dabble in a few musical instruments. In Toronto, there's a busker right there playing a bassoon, and the one in the other subway station was playing some strange instrument I've never seen before in my life.
Here, I never get the opportunity to develop the illusion that any of these things are special, and I'm a better person for it.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Monday, March 02, 2009
Open Letters
Dear plasterer eating fruit on the subway:
If you're going to leave the pips on the train, at least drop them on the floor instead of leaving them on the seat next to you.
Dear mother of twins:
I see that you have two babies, most likely through no fault of your own, and I get that you need a stroller that can hold two babies. The problem is that your stroller is so wide that it doesn't leave enough room in the supermarket aisle for a shopping cart to pass. When the store is crowded like during evening rush hour, this messes up traffic flow in the whole entire store. When you are in an aisle, no one can get past you in either direction. You're going to have to either a) get a narrower stroller, perhaps one that has the kids one in front of another instead of side by side, or b) leave the kids at home or with a sitter while you do groceries, or c) go shopping during non-peak times. Seriously. I get that strollers and childcare are expensive and you have shitloads of things to do on very little sleep, but you're inconveniencing literally hundreds of people with that behemoth.
Dear Flash fetishists:
If you present the content of your website as image-based Flash only rather than as text, it won't get indexed by Google. This means that when the translator working on your annual report thinks "Surely all this shiny happy stuff about their history and mission and values has already been done in carefully-crafted English by their talented corporate communications people" and then goes googling to save herself some time and you some money, she will get zero hits. At this point she would be perfectly justified in translating it herself, which means you will be paying the translator to do what you've already paid your communications people to do, and the translator might (perfectly rightfully) make different choices along the way. However, if your translator is a stubborn little shit like me, she won't take zero google hits for an answer and will plow through your sea of flash until she finds the information in question. However, since your Flash is image-based instead of text-based and therefore can't be copy-pasted, you are still paying the translator's hourly rates to retype all this stuff when it could have been done in 30 seconds of copy-pasting. It's essentially advertising copy about how awesome your organization is, why not make it easy for people to find it and repeat it elsewhere?
If you're going to leave the pips on the train, at least drop them on the floor instead of leaving them on the seat next to you.
Dear mother of twins:
I see that you have two babies, most likely through no fault of your own, and I get that you need a stroller that can hold two babies. The problem is that your stroller is so wide that it doesn't leave enough room in the supermarket aisle for a shopping cart to pass. When the store is crowded like during evening rush hour, this messes up traffic flow in the whole entire store. When you are in an aisle, no one can get past you in either direction. You're going to have to either a) get a narrower stroller, perhaps one that has the kids one in front of another instead of side by side, or b) leave the kids at home or with a sitter while you do groceries, or c) go shopping during non-peak times. Seriously. I get that strollers and childcare are expensive and you have shitloads of things to do on very little sleep, but you're inconveniencing literally hundreds of people with that behemoth.
Dear Flash fetishists:
If you present the content of your website as image-based Flash only rather than as text, it won't get indexed by Google. This means that when the translator working on your annual report thinks "Surely all this shiny happy stuff about their history and mission and values has already been done in carefully-crafted English by their talented corporate communications people" and then goes googling to save herself some time and you some money, she will get zero hits. At this point she would be perfectly justified in translating it herself, which means you will be paying the translator to do what you've already paid your communications people to do, and the translator might (perfectly rightfully) make different choices along the way. However, if your translator is a stubborn little shit like me, she won't take zero google hits for an answer and will plow through your sea of flash until she finds the information in question. However, since your Flash is image-based instead of text-based and therefore can't be copy-pasted, you are still paying the translator's hourly rates to retype all this stuff when it could have been done in 30 seconds of copy-pasting. It's essentially advertising copy about how awesome your organization is, why not make it easy for people to find it and repeat it elsewhere?
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Mystery glass
The other day I found a piece of broken glass in my dishwasher, but none of the dishes in there were broken.
I was just talking to my friend on the phone, and she said she recently found a piece of broken glass randomly lying on the floor, but nothing in the house seemed to be broken.
So if it turns out that we're in a horror movie or something, this is the clue the killer left.
I was just talking to my friend on the phone, and she said she recently found a piece of broken glass randomly lying on the floor, but nothing in the house seemed to be broken.
So if it turns out that we're in a horror movie or something, this is the clue the killer left.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Wherein I am spoiled
My milk went bad. So I just found myself mentally bitching to myself that I have to either a) go a whole block to get coffee and then it will be a bit cold when I get home and I'll have to microwave it! or b) do my whole grocery shopping without coffee in my system! or c) go to the corner store and get the milk that's slightly less yummy! and then go home and make coffee and go back out to do my errands! or d) go to a coffee shop and just sit there drinking coffee!
And then I found myself thinking that this is all so annoying that I can't possibly go shoe shopping today, it's all I can do to just go get a supply of food and booze, and I'll have to put off the shoe shopping until tomorrow!
Perhaps I need some real problems.
Update:
Dear Neighbours: I apologize for the water main break. I think that was the universe's response to this post.
Dear Universe: I get it that you want to give me problems and, strictly speaking, I suppose I did ask for them. But next time maybe you could do it without inconveniencing the entire street?
And then I found myself thinking that this is all so annoying that I can't possibly go shoe shopping today, it's all I can do to just go get a supply of food and booze, and I'll have to put off the shoe shopping until tomorrow!
Perhaps I need some real problems.
Update:
Dear Neighbours: I apologize for the water main break. I think that was the universe's response to this post.
Dear Universe: I get it that you want to give me problems and, strictly speaking, I suppose I did ask for them. But next time maybe you could do it without inconveniencing the entire street?
Friday, February 27, 2009
Me and My Llama
When I first saw this on Sesame Street as a little kid, I didn't question the plausibility of the situation. Now I desperately want to know the backstory.
Grande mort par petites morts
According to Broadsheet, there are sex ed programs in Texas with the thesis OMG, you're all gonna DIE! (traduction libre).
So here's the thing: when I was that age, I wouldn't have minded dying. Actually I still wouldn't exactly mind - the inevitability of death makes me rather blasé about it - but at that age with the bullies and the schoolbuses and the parental demands and societal expectations and no idea that it would ever get easier and being told "These are the best years of your life," my reaction to the idea of dying was "At least I could finally get some peace and quiet!"
Because I'm a late bloomer emotionally, my interest in sex didn't come until a year or two after sex ed was over, and my virginity didn't feel like a burden until even later.
However, if the phase of my life where I considered my virginity a burden had occurred earlier and the phase of my life where I would have welcomed death with open arms had extended a couple more years, and if during this time I had honestly seriously truly believed that having sex would make me die, I totally would have actively sought out sex at the first available opportunity, regardless of quality. My unwanted virginity was primarily due to lack of desirable, suitable and willing partners. If I had seriously thought that sex would cause my death, I would totally have narrowed those criteria down to just willing, or maybe even unenthusastic but coerceable.
So perhaps it isn't the best strategy for sex ed at a difficult age.
So here's the thing: when I was that age, I wouldn't have minded dying. Actually I still wouldn't exactly mind - the inevitability of death makes me rather blasé about it - but at that age with the bullies and the schoolbuses and the parental demands and societal expectations and no idea that it would ever get easier and being told "These are the best years of your life," my reaction to the idea of dying was "At least I could finally get some peace and quiet!"
Because I'm a late bloomer emotionally, my interest in sex didn't come until a year or two after sex ed was over, and my virginity didn't feel like a burden until even later.
However, if the phase of my life where I considered my virginity a burden had occurred earlier and the phase of my life where I would have welcomed death with open arms had extended a couple more years, and if during this time I had honestly seriously truly believed that having sex would make me die, I totally would have actively sought out sex at the first available opportunity, regardless of quality. My unwanted virginity was primarily due to lack of desirable, suitable and willing partners. If I had seriously thought that sex would cause my death, I would totally have narrowed those criteria down to just willing, or maybe even unenthusastic but coerceable.
So perhaps it isn't the best strategy for sex ed at a difficult age.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Things They Should Invent: introvert/extrovert temporary switch medication
Introverts, picture this: You have oh so terribly many errands to do and phone calls to make. But the more you do, the more places you go and things you see and people you talk to, the more energized you'll feel. Wouldn't that be useful?
Extroverts, picture this: You're stuck at home all alone with no one to talk to for hours and hours and hours. But the more time that passes all alone, the better and happier and more energized and revitalized you feel. Wouldn't that be useful?
We wouldn't want this to be permanent or ongoing. Speaking as an innie, getting bored when alone in my head sounds like living hell, and I'm sure extros would get frustrated living with our slow, easily-stimulated brains. But it would be so convenient to be able to switch every once in a while!
They know the neuroscience, so why can't they make us a drug to do this?
Extroverts, picture this: You're stuck at home all alone with no one to talk to for hours and hours and hours. But the more time that passes all alone, the better and happier and more energized and revitalized you feel. Wouldn't that be useful?
We wouldn't want this to be permanent or ongoing. Speaking as an innie, getting bored when alone in my head sounds like living hell, and I'm sure extros would get frustrated living with our slow, easily-stimulated brains. But it would be so convenient to be able to switch every once in a while!
They know the neuroscience, so why can't they make us a drug to do this?
Computer animation
A sketch from Important Things with Demetri Martin:
The animation is a bit crude, isn't it? (Not that it matters - Demetri Martin usually uses line drawings on a flip chart - but it something I noticed.)
But there was a point in my lifetime when that silly little animation would have been cutting edge. And there was a point in my lifetime when the technology didn't exist to make that silly little animation. That's really weird if you think about it.
The animation is a bit crude, isn't it? (Not that it matters - Demetri Martin usually uses line drawings on a flip chart - but it something I noticed.)
But there was a point in my lifetime when that silly little animation would have been cutting edge. And there was a point in my lifetime when the technology didn't exist to make that silly little animation. That's really weird if you think about it.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
When the audience doesn't know (or care) what the music is
My iTunes gave me El Tango de Roxanne (from Moulin Rouge) and it occurred to me that it would be a good figure skating program. So I went googling and it seems Yu-Na Kim did it a year or two ago (and very impressively indeed!)
But the thing I forgot about figure skating music is a) they take out the lyrics, and b) people clap along at the slightest provocation. So while the end result was still a tango, without the lyrics it wasn't nearly as sexually aggressive as the original, and the audience was merrily clapping along to this dirtyish song about a prostitute and her jealous lover.
I'd still like to see it done in pairs skating though.
But the thing I forgot about figure skating music is a) they take out the lyrics, and b) people clap along at the slightest provocation. So while the end result was still a tango, without the lyrics it wasn't nearly as sexually aggressive as the original, and the audience was merrily clapping along to this dirtyish song about a prostitute and her jealous lover.
I'd still like to see it done in pairs skating though.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Analogy for why Canada needs to help Omar Khadr
Suppose you have underage nieces/nephews. Due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, their parents (i.e. your siblings) are unable to provide them with some necessity - food, shoes, education, dental work, something that children should reasonably be able to expect their guardians to provide. You are able to provide this necessity to these kids, and the amount of sacrifice required to do so is well within acceptable parameters. So you totally do it, unhesitatingly. There is no question.
Now suppose, instead of being due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, the inability to provide is a direct result of your siblings' actions. They've been total dickheads, done stuff that you think is not only idiotic but morally wrong and reflects poorly on all of you, completely fucked up so badly their reputation will never recover, and they've brought their kids into it and gotten them thinking these reprehensible actions are not only normal but laudable. And as a result of these actions, their children are lacking this necessity.
You still totally have to help the children. There's no question. Yeah, you might get a bit cranky about having to spend your hard-earned money just because your asshat sibling fucked up. Yeah, it's frustrating when the kids start spouting their parents' propoganda. But you have to at least give it a try, maybe use your influence to introduce the kids to other points of view and ways of life. You can always cut them off later if they prove as incorrigible as their parents. You certainly don't just ignore the fact that they're doing without school supplies just because you don't like their parents.
Similarly, we shouldn't be refusing to help Omar Khadr just because we don't like his parents or because he was in a situation that he was forced into by his parents.
Now suppose, instead of being due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, the inability to provide is a direct result of your siblings' actions. They've been total dickheads, done stuff that you think is not only idiotic but morally wrong and reflects poorly on all of you, completely fucked up so badly their reputation will never recover, and they've brought their kids into it and gotten them thinking these reprehensible actions are not only normal but laudable. And as a result of these actions, their children are lacking this necessity.
You still totally have to help the children. There's no question. Yeah, you might get a bit cranky about having to spend your hard-earned money just because your asshat sibling fucked up. Yeah, it's frustrating when the kids start spouting their parents' propoganda. But you have to at least give it a try, maybe use your influence to introduce the kids to other points of view and ways of life. You can always cut them off later if they prove as incorrigible as their parents. You certainly don't just ignore the fact that they're doing without school supplies just because you don't like their parents.
Similarly, we shouldn't be refusing to help Omar Khadr just because we don't like his parents or because he was in a situation that he was forced into by his parents.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Why people aren't writing about the economy as a feminist issue
Broadsheet asks why no one is writing about the economy as a feminist issue.
The answer is simple: it's more effective not to. People who are into feminism will read articles that aren't specifically about feminism, but people who aren't into feminism will skip over or dis the credibility of articles that are about feminism. Positioning it as a feminist issue sets up a giant Someone Else's Problem field around the article.
An article with a title like "How the economic crisis is affecting women" would get skipped over by male readers and anti-feminist readers, and women who aren't affected in the way described in the article would leave partway through. (Think about how you skip the Women's Issues section of your local politician's website when all their articles are about childcare and you don't have young children.) However, an article with a title like "How the economic crisis is affecting people in fields that aren't receiving stimulus dollars" would attract readers from everywhere but the stimulus fields. The vast majority of people work in non-stimulus fields and the vast majority of people are at least a little bit worried about their jobs, so it would get their attention. And if every single person interviewed in the article happened to be female, I doubt the readers would even notice.
The answer is simple: it's more effective not to. People who are into feminism will read articles that aren't specifically about feminism, but people who aren't into feminism will skip over or dis the credibility of articles that are about feminism. Positioning it as a feminist issue sets up a giant Someone Else's Problem field around the article.
An article with a title like "How the economic crisis is affecting women" would get skipped over by male readers and anti-feminist readers, and women who aren't affected in the way described in the article would leave partway through. (Think about how you skip the Women's Issues section of your local politician's website when all their articles are about childcare and you don't have young children.) However, an article with a title like "How the economic crisis is affecting people in fields that aren't receiving stimulus dollars" would attract readers from everywhere but the stimulus fields. The vast majority of people work in non-stimulus fields and the vast majority of people are at least a little bit worried about their jobs, so it would get their attention. And if every single person interviewed in the article happened to be female, I doubt the readers would even notice.
Album meme
The rules:
1. Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2. Go to Random quotations or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3. Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.
5. Post it.
I'm far too lazy to do a proper photoshopping job, so I spent a whole 30 seconds using Paint. It very nearly works.
1. Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2. Go to Random quotations or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3. Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.
5. Post it.
I'm far too lazy to do a proper photoshopping job, so I spent a whole 30 seconds using Paint. It very nearly works.
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