Make sure you read Savage Love this week

Everyone needs to vote on a new coinage. (NSFW, as usual)

My campaign promise

Dear Canadian politicians everywhere:

I have decided to walk the talk.

If you can create a situation where my employer is able to promise me that my job is safe, I will spend an extra $1000 in the next year. That's right, $1000 above and beyond what I would normally spend, and above and beyond my New Year's resolution. I will actively seek out things I would never have thought to buy otherwise.

What's more, I will spend all this money on Canadian-made, environmentally-friendly, ethical products, either that I can make good use of, or that the person I give them to as a gift can make good use of. If these products end up replacing any perfectly good items in my home, I will make sure the superceded items are donated to someone who can make good use of them. Nothing will end up in the landfill, nothing will go to waste. And, just to make everyone happy, I will buy them without using plastic bags (even though we all know that doesn't actually change my footprint).

You give me what I need from you to get through this crisis, I'll give you what you need from me to get through this crisis.

If you get arrested, can you leave a note?

On the TV show I'm watching, the police come by and arrest this guy when his wife isn't home. It's a calm and civilized arrest and he goes along quietly without protest. However, he doesn't leave a note for his wife or anything. So she's going to come home and find her husband missing and have no idea where he went (she couldn't have guessed he was going to be arrested.)

So IRL, if you're arrested, do they let you leave a note so your family or household isn't wondering where you went? I know you're supposed to get one phone call, but that's for a lawyer. What if you need to arrange for someone to pick your kids up or something? I mean, even if you are under arrest, that's no reason to leave your kids stranded somewhere.

Life little luxuries

This was the coldest morning of the winter and the prospect of getting out of bed filled me with dread. So I dragged myself into the bathroom where I had a hot shower, then I had a nice cup of coffee sitting in the sunny spot by the window.

If you think about it, that is really astounding. It's like -30 outside, and I can stand in a stream of hot water for like an hour if I want. Then I can sit just a foot away from a pile of snow, perfectly comfortable in nothing but a glorified towel, enjoying the warmth and light of the sun without the cold of the outdoors, drinking a drink made from a tropical plant.

Not a bad way to start your morning.

Q: "It's the 21st century, where is my flying car?"

A: Right here.

Can I have a robot maid next?

(h/t James Bow)

How to cut taxes in the way that will best help the Canadian economy

I still find it difficult to believe that tax cuts would actually instigate consumer spending, but let's pretend for the purposes of this post that they will. Here's how to do it:

Eliminate the GST on everything that's made in Canada. Charge GST on everything else.

Nuances: 1. Currently GST is not charged on necessities. If there are necessities that are not available in made-in-Canada version. 2. There might be degrees of "Made in Canada", like how there's the MAPL system for cancon. For example, Fluevogs are designed by a Canadian but manufactured in Europe (and yes, I lose points for a) having the first idea that comes to mind be shoes, and b) for knowing offhand where they're made). If this happens with enough things to be significant, they could have a sliding scale based on how made in Canada they are.

Wanted: an economist to build the karmameter

Still thinking about the karmameter...

If we assume that time = money, the karmameter is a question of economics. What is the best use of my time/money? Does my money do more good in my savings account keeping me self-sufficient, or in my spending account boosting the economy, or being given to charity to help the less fortunate, or being paid out in taxes to support the social safety net? There's probably a pie chart of the optimal balance, like you see in mutual funds.

Are more expensive, more ethical purchases worth it in how much good you're getting for your dollar? If I could can buy a dozen cheap Made In China shoes for the price of one pair of good shoes manufactured in a factory that meets EU labour standards, I'd be supporting more people's livelihoods but promoting poorer working conditions - especially if I bought the cheap shoes at multiple stores. There must be a threshold somewhere.

Even on a more personal level - for example, right now the work I'm doing is emotionally excruciating, but it's ultimately going to help the people whose stories I find emotionally excruciating. So I'm neglecting all kinds of my obligations to myself and to society just so I can keep myself in a state where I can complete this project properly. But there must be a cost-benefit threshold in there somewhere (if not within the range of reality then at least in the pool of theoretical possibilities) where the good I'm doing by doing this translation properly no longer outweighs my neglect of my other obligations.

Karma is basically a series of cost-benefit ratios. It sounds like the job for an economist.

Brilliant Ideas That Will Never Work: results-based prison sentences

Right now, you commit a crime and you're sentenced to five years. That's rather arbitrary. Instead, it should be you commit a crime, and you're sentenced to prison until, say, you've got your substance abuse and anger management problems sorted, then you're on parole until you've proven you can hold down a job and an apartment without cheating or stealing from anyone and have a relationship without beating your partner.

The only tiny wee flaw in this plan is coming up with an objective way to measure results that neither correctional officers nor criminals can game.

What would have happened if my parents had banned Barbie dolls

Broadsheet discusses parents forbidding their children from owning Barbie dolls.

I had dozens of Barbie dolls - either 27 or 37, I forget which. I liked them because they let me be a girl (in that playing with dolls is a girly thing to do) and they let me role-play at being at the fun parts of being a grown-up woman (dressing up in grownup clothes and heels and, later, having sex.) I'm sure my parents weren't too thrilled with this. They tended to discourage girly things, and I'm sure they didn't want their kids coveting fancy clothes or role-playing sex. However, they did not ban Barbie from our house, which is a good thing because if they had it would have been far worse for my self-image.

You see, as I've mentioned before, I'm very femme mentally but don't look very feminine physically - especially not when I was a pre-pubescent child. I've always been bigger than average for my age, I have a big nose (just like my father's) and a heavy brow (just like my father) and unattractive dark skin around my eyes (which I'd never seen on another person when I was a child). I'm clumsy and awkward and say and do the wrong thing (just like my father). My feet are enormous and rather ugly (just like my father's). My body hair has always been black and more copious than average (just like my father's). I was the first person in my class (male or female) to be able to grow a mustache and the only person (male or female) at the Grade 5 pool party with hairy armpits. When my hair was short people mistook me for a boy all the time, which is why I now wear my hair hip-length.

My parents often tried to discourage me from girly things and point me more towards boy things. I don't know why exactly this is - I don't have a brother so I have no idea which parts of their child-rearing were about raising girls and which parts were about raising children - but I suspect a lot of it had to do with because being girly is less convenient. A kid who doesn't care about clothes is easier to shop for than one who wants to be a pretty pretty princess (and I was especially complicated because I wanted to be a pretty princess but had no idea what kinds of clothes I wanted to accomplish that and hate the process of shopping.) A kid who wants to dig in the garden is more useful than one who runs away screaming "EWWWW! Worms!!!!" It's easier to get everyone off to school on time when no one feels the need to do their hair and put on make-up than when you have two kids wearing a total of five kinds of foundation between them.

However, because I was already wanting to express and present as far more feminine than I was capable of, whenever my parents tried to discourage me from something girly or encouraged me towards something more boyish, I felt like they were saying I don't get to be girly because I'm not pretty enough, and should just be a boy instead. I was nowhere near capable of expressing this at the time, but that's how I felt. They said "You can't wear a skirt because you'll be running around," I heard "You aren't girly enough to dress like a girl, so you may as well just act like a noisy smelly running-around boy." (This is back when boys were yucky.) They made me help my father with home improvements or join him on a bike ride, I heard "You're practically a boy anyway, so you have to keep your father company with his boy stuff." (And to add insult to injury, when my sister didn't have to do this stuff (in retrospect probably because she was too young) I felt like it was because she's prettier and looks more like a girl so she doesn't have to do the yucky boy stuff.) So if they had forbidden Barbie dolls, I would have taken it as "You're not pretty enough to play with these pretty things like all the other girls."

I did like some boy toys and boy activities too. I like legos and trains and science fiction and video games and dodgeball and Ninja Turtles. But these were never a source of conflict. I could do them, I like them, people never tried to stop me, they never made people think I was a boy. It didn't feel like gender expression, it just felt like doing stuff I liked. I don't like them because they're masculine (or even despite the fact that they're masculine), I like them because I like them. But with girly toys, there was always an aspect of gender expression there. I guess it's similar to how if I like a dress it's partly because it makes me look feminine, but if I like running shoes it's because they're nice running shoes.

Now I did (and probably still do) have body image issues, but that had nothing to do with the Barbie dolls. For example, the thing I hate most is the dark skin around my eyes, but that's because I never saw anything similar on anyone else ever except cartoon portrayals of evil. (I have seen it on other people since, but no one who was around when I was a kid had anything like it.) I hate how my stomach sticks out no matter what because my waist is so short there's nowhere else for my guts to go, but that's more from cultural disdain for fat rather than anything to do with Barbie specifically. I'd still have that even if I'd never met a Barbie doll.

But mostly Barbie's figure was irrelevant because I was pre-pubescent when I was playing with her, and she represented a grown-up woman. I did aspire to be a grown-up woman one day, but I certainly didn't want to be one yet. My Barbie play was just forward-looking role-play for one day when I was a proper grownup with breasts and heels and lipstick. I didn't have big breasts or mile-long legs when I was playing with Barbie, but that's fine because I didn't want them yet. I wanted to be a pretty little girl, not a sexy grown-up woman. And by the time I had matured enough physically that I had a woman's body and matured enough mentally that I wanted a woman's body (i.e. in the now instead of in the indefinite future), Barbie was irrelevant. When I wasn't getting laid, the other girls around me who were getting laid were relevant (what does she have that I don't?) and when I was getting laid they were irrelevant too because I was quite clearly sexy enough.

All banning Barbies would have done was make me feel more like I wasn't good enough for girly stuff when I was a child. So it's a good thing my parents didn't.

Edited to add: I started out just writing this as an anecdote, but I think I have a broader conclusion. A lot of the time when parents don't want their kids to have Barbies, it's really that they don't want them to want Barbies, or to want what she stands for. But if the kid already wants Barbies (or whatever else the parents are trying to ban), banning the thing isn't going to stop them from wanting it. So when parents are inclined to forbid something, they should first think about whether what they really want is for the kid not to have the thing, or just not to want it.

Best thing ever of the day

Recombobulation!

(h/t Language Log)

How to improve Canada's consumer confidence with three simple words

Protect existing jobs.

That's the soundbite our governments need. Protect existing jobs. Frankly, realistically, since we're talking consumer confidence (which is subjective and somewhat emotional) they wouldn't actually have to do very much to protect existing jobs. Perhaps one or two token gestures, but mostly all they'd have to do is not do anything that would cost people their jobs. If people feel like their jobs are being protected, their consumer confidence will increase.

Protect existing jobs.

Dear Mr. Harper: Let's see these words in your budget speech.

Dear Mr. Ignatieff: Let's see these words in the conditions to which you hold the government's budget speech.

Teach me how to speak out against racism

There was a study that concluded that people are more tolerant of racism than they care to admit.

For the study, researchers placed three students in a classroom, one white, one black, and one white or Asian. And while two of the students – the black and one white – were in on the scheme, the third believed they were all there waiting for a study to begin.

"Then the black person stands up and says `I forgot my cellphone,' and he walks out of the room. And as he walks out, he gently hits the other white person on the knee," Kawakami said. When the black person left the room, the white person turned to the other person and said something racist – "in some cases extremely racist," she said.

Despite using terms as offensive as "clumsy n----r," the planted bigot faced little or no reprisal from the majority of white subjects.

Personally I'd love to speak out or otherwise do something at this point, but I simply have no clue what to do. The racist would get a glare, sure, but I have no idea what I might say that might be helpful. I've met a number of racists in my life, and nothing that it has every occurred to me to say has ever elicited any reaction in them other than for them to try to convince me that I need to be more racist. I am completely unequipped to deal with this situation. In other more social situations I'd likely either leave or kick them out, but this is a room where we're both waiting for an appointment. We both have a right to be there and I'd be breaking my commitment to the study if I just walked out (I know that sounds like a lame excuse, but (as far as I know) it isn't the study's fault the other person was racist).

So what could I say or do at this point that would be helpful?

If there are any racists reading this, I'd be especially interested in what you might have to say. Anonymous posts are welcome, and as long as you give me information that would help me construct a useful response I won't dis you or allow anyone else to dis you for being a racist in this thread.

Things Canadian Blood Services Should Invent: don't hold clinics only at multiples of four weeks

The blood donor clinic that is most convenient for me always happens during the week of my period. I'm often not up to donating during my period because my iron levels are too low. So I have to be diligent and go to a less convenient clinic, or (more often then not) it just ends up not happening.

I see why they are doing this. You're allowed to donate blood once every 56 days, so they're holding the clinic every 56 days (i.e. 8 weeks). However, that means that it is inconvenient for me every single time.

I don't know what percentage of blood donors are women with regular or regulated periods who can't donate during their periods. I know that with the rule against donations from men who have sex with men, there are probably more female than male donors. I know women whose periods affect their iron levels are more likely to be on the Pill and therefore menstruating like clockwork (if they choose to menstruate - I don't know what percentage just take a monophasic pill every day without taking a week off to menstruate.) I don't know if there are enough of us to be significant. But I do know that if the clinic was every 9 weeks, they'd get my blood way more often.

I wonder if there's good money in being a political advisor?

On December 6, I said:

Meanwhile, what the opposition parties need to do is take a "Coalition if necessary, but not necessarily coalition" approach.

On December 7:

Ignatieff has been more ambivalent, describing his position Sunday as "coalition if necessary, but not necessarily coalition."

On December 6, I also said:

Then [the opposition parties] need to agree upon minimum standards of economic and social policy they will hold the government to, and inform the government and the public of these standards. If the government meets the minimum standards, the three opposition parties will continue working in accordance with their own party platforms. If the government fails to meet the standards, BOOM, instant coalition.

Then today:

Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff, speaking in Halifax, said he will judge the federal budget on whether it provides tax relief for low-income Canadians, infrastructure projects and invests in productivity and competitiveness.

Ignatieff, who spoke in Halifax as part of a town hall tour across the country, has said he's prepared to vote down the Conservative government and form a governing coalition with the NDP if the budget isn't in the best interests of Canadians.

Maybe I should start blogging purely selfish policy recommendations.

Actually, I do have an idea for another policy recommendation that addresses my own situation but would also help other people. I'll blog it later or tomorrow and see what happens.

Words, words, words! (NSFW edition)

1. From a Globe and Mail article on a new edition of The Joy of Sex: teledildonics! I wish I was into that sort of thing just so I could use the word on a regular basis!

2. From Savage Love (third letter): seroconverted! Initially I thought it was politically correct terminology and was both admiring it and wondering if it made the process sound too intentional, but it turns out it's proper scientific terminology. Way cool!

Trekonomics

Money doesn't exist in the Federation.

The entire Ferengi culture is based on the acquistion of wealth.

So how do they coexist on DS9? Quark wouldn't give the Starfleet people food and drink for free, but they don't earn money so they (theoretically) have nothing with which to pay him.

How do I find my missing mp3s?

My itunes contains 3686 mp3s. When I press "shuffle songs" on my ipod, the first song says "Track 1 of 3666." I know that only two tracks in my itunes have been set to "Skip in shuffle." I did double-check this and I did sync manually.

So how do I find where the other 18 mp3s went?

Things They Should Invent: food to non-food analogy converter

When I'm trying to describe the size or colour or texture or consistency of something, especially bodily functions and other broadly medical things, I often find myself landing on food analogies. The problem is this grosses some people out. I inadvertently compare my bodily excretion du jour with something that happens to be in their sandwich, and I've ruined their lunch and their entire day.

We need a website for just these occasions. I search for "cherry", it gives me a list of non-food things that are the same size (or colour) as a cherry. I search for "mustard" and it gives me a list of non-food things that are the same colour (or texture or smell) as mustard.

Do you find high school gave you all the information you need on any particular subject?

Often you hear people saying "Kids Today don't know enough about X. They should teach X in high school!"

But I find myself doubting whether teaching something in high school is really intended to give people all the knowledge they need on any particular topic.

I studied a lot of stuff in high school. I took 12 OACs (only six were required). And I can't think of one single subject where high school gave me all the knowledge I need for life.

And that's perfectly okay.

What high school did do is give me some sense of the scope of knowledge that's out there. Because of high school, I have a general idea of what I do know and what I don't know. Then I can use the internet to fill in the blanks.

From high school, I know that coalition government have happened in the past although they are rare and the Governor General does have that discretion, and that if I remember correctly King-Byng is a key word here. That's fine. A couple of quick googles and I was up on what I need to know.

High school taught me that the derivative of a function is a rate. I could then use that as a basis to find the English terminology to translate the mathematical concepts being expressed in that frustratingly vague French way.

High school gave me an idea of what information can be found on the periodic table, so now I can go to the periodic table when I need that information.

High school gave me an idea of what financial concepts there might be a mathematical formula for, or what sorts of things a computer program could be convinced to do, or what can be reliably calculated using the laws of physics. It gave me the basis to self-teach myself a new musical instrument or a new language. High school didn't teach me enough about the causes of WWI, but it made me aware that I didn't know enough about the causes of WWI so I sought out more information when I wanted it.

So why are people expecting high school to give kids everything they need? Are there people who actually got everything they need out of high school?