Louise Marie Longhairs

Quite a while back I googled upon the fact that one of the few hairdressers specializing in long hair is right here in Toronto. Last time I visited a hairdresser (as a child) I came away looking like a boy. Since then I've been growing my hair extremely long to assert my femininity and eschewing all hairdressers. But, pushing 30, I was starting to think I might want better than just plain length with the split ends trimmed off by myself or my mother.

However, I was hesitant. Surely the website copy is hyperbole. Surely she has posted only positive testimonials and culled out all the negative ones (who knows how many there are?) And what's up with wanting to sell me all these pricey products? But I kept fixating on the idea, so I decided to give it a try. Worst case I'm out a bit of money and I'll stop fixating. So, last December, I went. The first time I'd been to a hairdresser in over two decades.

First thing that struck me is it's safe. No cooler-than-thou, no drama, you can talk frankly and realistically. Even the physical environment is safe. There's only one chair so you get her full attention, and it's set up so that passers-by can't see into the windows. (The idea of getting my hair done in full view of passers-by has always weirded me out). As we chatted, she accepted that my hair is in fact oily and straight. I've had so many people tell me "It isn't really oily, you just need to wash it less!" or "It isn't really straight, you just need to scrunch it!" that it's a relief to be taken at my word. She does want you to use her products (which do do what they say they do), but apart from that there's no pressure. As her site implies, she does recommend dietary/lifestyle changes, but she doesn't pressure. She informs me of stuff and if I'm not immediately into it, it's up to me to come to her if I change my mind. It's the Ani Difranco take what you can use and leave the rest approach.

So now you're thinking "Okay, but what did she do for your hair?"

I noticed results instantly, and I was able to duplicate them at home. Before I used her system, my hair would go hopelessly oily about 16 hours after I washed it. If I wanted to go to work in the morning then go out at night, I'd have to wash after work so my hair would look civilized at 11 pm. With LML's products, I wake up in the morning and it still looks civilized. It now takes 32 hours to go hopeless, so strictly speaking for the first time in my life I could get away with skipping a day. My hair was immediately less flat at the scalp, and it's been constantly improving as I continue to work on it. Length has increased noticeably, and I have brand new growth that is already two or three inches long.

The cut itself led my co-worker to ask me "Um...this is going to sound really weird...but did your hair just get longer or something?" I can now wear it down much more readily, and it moves quite interestingly (which is something I'd never given any thought to before). I feel generally sexier now, and more confident in my hair's ability to fulfill its various functions. In my professional life, it looks like it's on purpose rather than a result of benign neglect, and in my personal life it's better able to serve as a tool for seduction.

What I really appreciate about these products (and never would have ever expected) is if you do it wrong they still help your hair. It doesn't wreck anything, the results were just suboptimal. For weeks I was conditioning wrong but still noticing improvements in my hair. When I started conditioning right, it just started improving faster and more.

All these results aren't effortless. You have to put thought into your morning hair routine, you have to do some things differently with these products to the point where you're even retraining muscle memory (I can't tell you how many times I've done it wrong out of lifelong habit). It is work. But it does get the results it says it does.

This is an unconventional approach and not for everyone, but it is exactly what it says it is and does do the job to an extent I'd never before thought possible. I'd recommend looking a Louise Marie's website and seeing if it sounds like something you'd like. She wrote it herself, that is what it is. If it sounds good, go for it. If it doesn't sound like what you want, it's not for you.

Rogers tech support: the good and the bad

The bad: there was a prolonged internet outage in my area yesterday.

The good: when I called Rogers tech support, I got an automated announcement informing me that there's an outage in my area and giving me an ETA for service to come back online. This quickly gave me the information I needed and saved me a lot of pressing buttons and waiting and troubleshooting.

The bad: service wasn't back online by the ETA given.

The bad: even though service wasn't back online, the automated announcement was gone.

The good: I only had to wait under 10 minutes to speak to an agent, and they gave me an estimated hold time going in.

The bad: the interrupting "we appreciate your call, please continue to hold" sort of message is way too frequent.

The good: the agent accepted my troubleshooting and my explanation that there was a previous outage, and confirmed that my area is still out.

The bad: the agent was unable to give me an ETA.

The good: the agent arranged for me to be called back when service was back online.

The bad: I was never called back.*

The possibly good, possibly bad, depending on your sleep schedule: perhaps the reason why I was never called back was because service came back online sometimes between 1:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m.

The good: service was back online when I woke up this morning.

The bad: after being out for somewhere between 14 and 18 straight hours.

*Update: I just got the call back - eight hours after I noticed that it started working

Dell comes through again

My first computer, bought in 1999, was a Dell. Just months before its warranty expired, my power supply died. Dell sent a technician to fix it at no cost and at my convenience, and it was as stress-free as could reasonably be expected considering it's a difficult-to-diagnose-by-phone problem.

My second computer, bought in 2004, is a Dell. Today, just months before its warranty expires, the monitor stopped working. I called tech support, no waiting on hold, they accepted my troubleshooting that correctly diagnosed it as a hardware problem. Procedure said they had to flash the BIOS and see if the problem came back, so they did so and then arranged to have someone call me back tomorrow and check if the problem came back. Total time on phone 30 minutes, total angst zero.

Unfortunately, it came back an hour later. So I called them back (had to wait on hold 15 minutes), they accepted my diagnosis again, and they arranged to ship me a new monitor. Total time on phone like 10 minutes, total angst zero.

While it takes a few business days to ship so it would have been a noticeable inconvenience but for Poodle's awesomeness (see below), that's the reality of logistics and the laws of physics so I find it perfectly acceptable. (Which, I realize, is very easy to say when I'm still sitting here using my computer thanks to Poodle's awesomeness.)

So that's two Dell computers, both of which kindly had their major problems before the warranty expired, both of which got fixed under warranty at no cost to me and no more inconvenience than strictly necessary. I think my third computer will be a Dell.

Also!

Mega-bonus thanks to Poodle who eliminated literally all the stress surrounding this situation!
Me: "My monitor stopped working and I might not be able to use my computer for a few days! My life is ruined!"
Poodle: "Here's a spare, I'll go out of my way to bring it to you as though it's no trouble whatsoever."

Shipping update: My conversation with the call centre that resulted in them shipping out the new monitor occurred on Wednesday, after 8 pm. My monitor arrived by Purolator on Friday.

Reusable bags that are actually useful!

While I still resent having to use reusable shopping bags even though I came up with a better idea, I am happy to that Kitchen Stuff Plus has bags that will smush up nice and small to fit into my purse (unlike those ridiculous LCBO bags that require switching to a larger purse every time I want to pick up a couple of bottles of wine.)

They fold up to just slightly larger than a deck of playing cards, but they unfold really big. Like ridiculously huge, actually. You could be photographed nude holding it in front of you and your modesty would be protected. Today I had two of those big salon shampoo bottles and a big library-type hardcover book in my bag, and it looked laughably empty and oversized. Then I added two bottles of wine, and it was maybe a third full. (Yeah, I know, the contents of my shopping bag make me look snooty and decadent. But I'm stimulating the economy and facilitating environmentally responsible behaviour among my readership, so shut up.)

The only downside is that because they are so big, they might be too big for short people who want to carry them in their hand instead of over their shoulder. I'm 5'7" and when I'm in stocking feet the bottom of the bag is only like 4-6 inches off the ground when I hold it in my hand with my arm hanging straight down. However, it has wide straps so it does comfortably carry on the shoulder or the elbow. I had nearly 4 L of liquid in there plus a big book, and it was effortless to carry on my shoulder or my elbow. (A plastic shopping bag with 4L on my elbow is a little bit uncomfortable. Not unworkable and doesn't make me want to go straight home instead of stopping at another store, but it's not nothing. This bag was nothing.)

If you're in the market for a reusable that will fit in your purse, these are definitely worth looking at.

Victoria's Secret has excellent shipping

A week ago, I ordered some stuff from Victoria's Secret and picked the cheapest shipping method. It shipped from the States yesterday and arrived today! That's really good considering how the official ETA was Sept. 22.

Their prices are very reasonable too. Shipping costs to Canada are a bit high, but it's worth it if you're buying several items. The problems inherent in buying lingerie over the internet are obvious, but if you're certain about your size or the item is returnable or you can swallow the cost of a non-returnable item possibly being suboptimal, it's certainly worth a look.

Icy Hot patches

Icy Hot patches are my new best friend! I love them! You know how in like Grade 2 if you say you love something, the other kids will say "Do you want to marry them?" Well I want to marry them!

I woke up yesterday morning with this muscle I didn't even know I have (across the top of my chest and the front of my shoulder) really really stiff. Like it hurt to lift my arm far enough to wash my hair. (Yes, on top of strep throat and a broken washing machine and getting splashed by a car and getting my day off rescinded and having to work overtime). Yoga didn't help, a hot shower complete with shower massage function didn't help, a heating pad didn't help, and advil didn't help. I was debating with myself whether it needed heat or whether I should put ice on it, because it felt muscly but the heat didn't help, then I remembered seeing these Icy Hot things advertised and thinking hey, best of both worlds. So I picked some up at the drugstore on the way to work and put one on in the bathroom.

Instant relief. The discomfort disappeared, the muscle loosened, and I had my full range of motion back within minutes.

I kept it on for the two hours set out in the instructions. I wanted to keep it on for longer because it felt so good, but figured I should try following the instructions first. And guess what? After I took it off, the stiffness didn't return! It's been fine ever since! I don't know how they work, but it's a miracle!

They smell a bit mentholy and don't really get hot (I'd call them Icy/Less Icy) but they don't leave any gunk on your skin when you take them off, don't hurt your clothes, and they WORK! They're a bit expensive though - $10ish for a pack of only five patches - but I haven't had to do anything to my shoulder since so I guess they're worth it.

If you're in the market for nailpolish

Right now, PharmaPlus has Rimmel nailpolish on for $1.99, plus like five bonus air miles each. I don't remember if I've blogged this before, but the Rimmel Wear 10 polish actually does last significantly longer than regular polishes (it lasts a week on me, and generally my nails chip if I even give a passing thought to doing housework). So yeah, go to PharmaPlus and buy one in every colour that appeals to you.

Pissed off at Rogers

I got a voicemail from Rogers today alleging that my computer was launching a DOS attack, so they disabled my internet connection. I'm very pissed off at how this was handled though. First, I had to wait half an hour just to speak with a human being - while constantly being told by a recording that I should go online to their technical support website (Gee, I'd love to!)

Then I talked to a guy and he escalated me to a security guy, who told me that I had a virus. But he couldn't give me any information on what kind of virus it apparently was, or what IP address it was apparently attacking (he gave me the last three octets, which is meaningless), or what port it was apparently attacking, or even agree on what time this alleged attack occurred. So how am I supposed to fix it? His only suggestions, after a very condescending lecture on what exatly constitutes a DOS attack, were to format the drive and reinstall windows, or to call a technican (by which he meant a futureshop-type technician, which is on par with my own technical skills if I'm allowed to have Google) In the meantime I'd run a full virus scan and ad-aware, and they both found nothing. Which is unsurprising because I run a full virus scan (and update defs) on a daily basis and do the same for ad-aware on a weekly basis. So I told the guy I'd bet him $10,000 that there was no virus on my computer, and he said he'd reconnect my connection, but if the DOS attack happened again my account would be suspended for a week. Without any warning or further information. So I said fine. This was at 7:30.

By 9:00, my account still hadn't been reactivated. So I called again, waited again, got another tech who went through the EXACT SAME SCRIPT! And then told me that the previou tech hadn't said he's reconnect me when he did say so explicitly! And then lectured me extensively about having malware on my computer! So dude FINALLY agreed to reconnecct, reread me the whole disclaimer thing again, and told me to unplug my modem for 10-15 minutes(!) and then I'd be reconnected.

Which I was. And now I'm running TrendMicro Housecall just to double check things. But I really resent how there is no leeway in this process for an honest mistake. The whole thing is based on the assumption that I'm either malicious or incompetent. If I could have specific information about the IP address being attacked or the port or the exact time of the attack, I could track what my computer was doing at the time. But no, instead they don't even give me the leeway to make a reasonable diagnosis and talk to me condescendingly. I have impeccable technological hygiene, I have the tech knowledge to fix whatever the problem is, but I just don't know offhand. But these security guys are working from a script and can't help me diagnose. And meanwhile, every test I know how to run, all my logs, everything I can google up, shows that my computer is not doing anything wrong. It's behaving the same as it has for the past 2 years, I can identify every single process that's currently running, and I have no sign whatsoever of what this alleged problem is. But if this alleged incident reoccurs again, they'll cut me off for a week without even telling me. I'm not happy.

Edited to add an analogy:

If I had some problem that was on Roger's end and they couldn't resolve it on the first try, it would be unreasonable for me to demand a week's free service. The most reasonable way to troubleshoot an unknown problem does involve some trial and error, and as a user I have to accept that. Now, if my computer does start launching a DOS attack, I'm perfectly fine with them cutting me off mid-attack. But the most reasonable way for me to troubleshoot an unknown problem would be to eliminate all processes and then reconnect them one by one. So, to successfully identify and resolve the problem, the attack would have to be relaunched. What should happen then is they disconnect me and call me automatically to inform me of the attack, then I say "Okay, I've just identified what's causing it, I'll eliminate that." Then they reconnect me and everything's fine. To arbitrarily disconnect me for a week if the attack reoccurs just once is completely counter to good troubleshooting principles. A three strikes rule, with notification (including specific time and duration) of each offence would be far more appropriate.

Good bras!

La Senza has these awesome (like a thousand hotdogs!) bras this season! They have several improvements over previous seasons' t-shirt bras. First, they're cotton! Second, they have an elastic on the outside of the cups, so you won't ooze out into your armpit area. Third, they have this hook thing on the back that allows you to hook the two straps together in the middle of your back, so you get all the supportive benefits of crossed straps, but you can still put on the bra the normal way (instead of doing the stupid pull-over-head thingy that you have to do with cross straps), then just hook up one additional hook once you've got everything in place. It also produces less back bulge than pervious versions, although I can't tell exactly which design feature is responsible for that.

I've been wearing one all day today, and I haven't had to pull up a strap or tug at an elastic even once!

Emerald Movers & Storage

The moving company I ended up hiring was Emerald Movers & Storage, and I was quite happy with their work. The receptionist was very reassuring, knew who I was when I called, and was able to answer all my questions. The movers showed up on time, and were quick, efficient, strong, competent, and all business. They walked in and immediately started moving my boxes to the elevator. They wrapped up all my furniture in protective padding, and everything came out on the other side perfectly intact. Then they drove over to the new building and put everything back just as efficiently, taking all their padding and wrapping away with them. They required no supervision except for instructions on where to put stuff in the new apartment. They also behaved with complete propriety at all times. My mother was there most of the time, but at one point I was alone in an elevator with these two extremely tall and strong men, (I had to look up at them, and I don't normally have to look up at people), and I was not at all uncomfortable. The move came in under time and under estimate (although I think they overestimated the estimate for that very reason). It took a total of three hours to move my 500 square foot one-bedroom apartment a very short distance.

Now, if you're doing your research on Emerald, you might encounter a few things that could be interpreted as red flags. First, they point potential clients to HomeStars.ca where they have many positive reviews.* However, they have so many more positive reviews than any of the companies, so it really comes across as fake. I can't vouch for the accuracy or inaccuracy of these reviews, but they are consistent with my experience. (This is why I choose to review here, in an independent medium where you can see that I am, in fact, an individual.) Second, they are not a member of the Canadian Association of Movers. I asked the guy who gave me my estimate about this (he also ended up being one of the actual movers - I don't know if this is normal practice or not) and he didn't have an answer for me right away, but he did call me back the next business day with the explanation that CAM is geared more towards large moving companies and Emerald is small. Again, I cannot vouch for the accuracy or inaccuracy of this statement, but I have no reason to believe it's false, and the question was handled in a way that was consistant with perfect transparency. Thirdly, the truck they used didn't say "Emerald" on it, it was from Penske truck rental. I didn't get a chance to get a full explanation of this. I don't know whether or not it's normal practice, I did notice that they don't have any trucks on their website, but my move did go perfectly smoothly despite the fact that the truck didn't have the moving company's name on it.

Rereading this post, I just realized that, by saying that they were competent and did their job as expected, I may come across as damning them with faint praise. That is not my intention. It's just that I've heard so many horror stories about movers that I'm extremely happy that everything went smoothly. I can't say that Emerald went above and beyond for me, but it's not like they had the opportunity, because my move was extremely simple as moves go (if I had muscles and a car, I would have done it myself). As it was, nothing whatsoever went wrong, so I'm happy.

I would recommend Emerald without hesitation, and, as a youngish woman living alone, I would not be uncomfortable hiring these guys even if there couldn't be anyone else present on moving day.

*Edited to add: a couple weeks after my move, I received an email from Emerald thanking me for my business and suggesting that I review them on Homestars. So that's probably why they have so many more reviews than everyone else - because they actively point their clients there.

Ineffective ads

There was a blurb in the Toronto Star about new ads to raise awareness of violence against women. They're supposed to be attention- grabbing.

Problem: I skimmed right over it without paying attention.

Why? Because the graphics of the ad look similar to the graphics of ads for dance or theatre performance or art exhibits - the kinds of ads you see in the Weekend Review section of the Globe and Mail. The word "Abuse" is in similar position, font, and size to the name of the performance or art work, the statistics are laid out similarly to the review blurbs, and the green bar at the bottom is similar to the information about where the piece is playing and how to buy tickets.

I don't know if this was all intentional, but when I saw the picture without reading it, my brain processed it as an ad for performance or art. And I'm not interested in seeing a play or dance piece or art exhibit about a beaten-up pregnant woman, so I ignored it. It wasn't until the third or fourth time my eye passed over it that it occurred to me that it was an article in the newspaper, not an ad.

I don't think it's very attention-getting to make an ad look like a different kind of ad.

Kudos to Sympatico

One of the signing bonuses I got for signing my lease before the building was built is a year's free telecommunications from Rogers, so obviously I'm not going to keep my current services. Today I called Sympatico to cancel my account, and after they learned that I was cancelling because I got a year's free service, and because I've been with them for four years (apparently that's a lot of seniority), they offered to suspend my account for a year at no charge and then top whatever Roger's charges me once my free year is up. I didn't even have to ask them for this, they offered it proactively.

This is essentially the best possible offer they could have made me, and I really appreciate that the first person I talked to was empowered to do this.

Little Mosque has officially lost me

Rayyan is a doctor. That means that she is a) a very responsible person, and b) at least in her mid-20s, probably older.

I simply cannot enjoy spending time in a place where a grown woman who is a physician and whose behaviour has been nothing but exemplary is not trusted to adhere to her own morals.

This plot might work with a teenager (although I'd still find it distasteful), but you can't just transpose it onto a grown adult who is a doctor.

The problem with Little Mosque

The problem with Little Mosque is that none of the characters can say no. Right now Yassir's mother wants him to take a second wife, and Yassir doesn't just go and say "No, absolutely not." So then she goes to the imam, and the imam doesn't say outright "No, we don't do that here."

I can accept this sort of thing for sitcom plot purposes once in a while, but it happens every week!

The convert starts being a self-righteous dick, the imam never says "Um, dude, that's not what we're all about there."

Yassir's client and the mosque both need wiring done, there aren't enough electricians to do both, and Yassir doesn't say to anyone "No, I'm sorry, there aren't enough electricians." Instead he blows up the mosque.

The finance-focused archdeacon comes for a visit, and the (priest? minister? what do Anglicans call them?) stages a massive charade instead of saying "Yeah, the presence of the mosque helps us fund the church."

Call me when they start acting like grownups.