The "People Person" Paradox

I am not a "people person". As I may have mentioned one or two times, I'm an introvert, I feel awkward in social situations with people I don't know well, and I suck at small talk.

My doctor is the same way. I can tell she feels a bit socially awkward, so she's very serious and not that good at making small talk. This adds just a tinge of awkwardness to our sessions, because neither of us is able to effectively break the ice, and because the ice is still there. Her receptionist is the same way. As a result, I don't feel particularly welcome or comfortable in her clinic. As an innie myself, I can tell logically that this coldness is not deliberate, but emotionally it's still there. I still have my guard up, there's still that tiny element of middle school left over, where because it doesn't feel warm I feel like I'm going to be harshly judged. Not the best feeling to get from your doctor. I don't look forward to going to see her.

On the other hand, my dentist, and all of his staff, are very much people people. They have the ability to make me feel welcome and comfortable. I feel like I can make a joke if one occurs to me, and I can let my guard down completely. I do realize that this means I have succumbed to "charming" (which is rather frightening to think about), but the result is a comfortable clinical environment.

At first I was thinking that there should be some way for patients to find out if doctors are people people, so the introverted patients who can't break the ice themselves can be paired up with doctors that can break the ice, and the extroverted patients who can break the ice can be paired up with the doctors who can't.

But then i realized that the problem with this idea is that bubbly extroverts who can break ice left and right tend to be seriously creeped out by introverts. They tend to think that we're being deliberately cold as a personal slight to them, and don't seem to realize that we just do not have the ability to be charming, they tend to think instead that we're deliberately holding back, perhaps out of spite. So the extroverts aren't going to want to go to the introvert doctors either.

I don't want to eliminate all introvert doctors or anything, and logically I know I should be accepting of people who have the same shortcomings as I do, but I also want a doctor who makes me feel comfortable.