My milk went bad. So I just found myself mentally bitching to myself that I have to either a) go a whole block to get coffee and then it will be a bit cold when I get home and I'll have to microwave it! or b) do my whole grocery shopping without coffee in my system! or c) go to the corner store and get the milk that's slightly less yummy! and then go home and make coffee and go back out to do my errands! or d) go to a coffee shop and just sit there drinking coffee!
And then I found myself thinking that this is all so annoying that I can't possibly go shoe shopping today, it's all I can do to just go get a supply of food and booze, and I'll have to put off the shoe shopping until tomorrow!
Perhaps I need some real problems.
Update:
Dear Neighbours: I apologize for the water main break. I think that was the universe's response to this post.
Dear Universe: I get it that you want to give me problems and, strictly speaking, I suppose I did ask for them. But next time maybe you could do it without inconveniencing the entire street?
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Me and My Llama
When I first saw this on Sesame Street as a little kid, I didn't question the plausibility of the situation. Now I desperately want to know the backstory.
Grande mort par petites morts
According to Broadsheet, there are sex ed programs in Texas with the thesis OMG, you're all gonna DIE! (traduction libre).
So here's the thing: when I was that age, I wouldn't have minded dying. Actually I still wouldn't exactly mind - the inevitability of death makes me rather blasé about it - but at that age with the bullies and the schoolbuses and the parental demands and societal expectations and no idea that it would ever get easier and being told "These are the best years of your life," my reaction to the idea of dying was "At least I could finally get some peace and quiet!"
Because I'm a late bloomer emotionally, my interest in sex didn't come until a year or two after sex ed was over, and my virginity didn't feel like a burden until even later.
However, if the phase of my life where I considered my virginity a burden had occurred earlier and the phase of my life where I would have welcomed death with open arms had extended a couple more years, and if during this time I had honestly seriously truly believed that having sex would make me die, I totally would have actively sought out sex at the first available opportunity, regardless of quality. My unwanted virginity was primarily due to lack of desirable, suitable and willing partners. If I had seriously thought that sex would cause my death, I would totally have narrowed those criteria down to just willing, or maybe even unenthusastic but coerceable.
So perhaps it isn't the best strategy for sex ed at a difficult age.
So here's the thing: when I was that age, I wouldn't have minded dying. Actually I still wouldn't exactly mind - the inevitability of death makes me rather blasé about it - but at that age with the bullies and the schoolbuses and the parental demands and societal expectations and no idea that it would ever get easier and being told "These are the best years of your life," my reaction to the idea of dying was "At least I could finally get some peace and quiet!"
Because I'm a late bloomer emotionally, my interest in sex didn't come until a year or two after sex ed was over, and my virginity didn't feel like a burden until even later.
However, if the phase of my life where I considered my virginity a burden had occurred earlier and the phase of my life where I would have welcomed death with open arms had extended a couple more years, and if during this time I had honestly seriously truly believed that having sex would make me die, I totally would have actively sought out sex at the first available opportunity, regardless of quality. My unwanted virginity was primarily due to lack of desirable, suitable and willing partners. If I had seriously thought that sex would cause my death, I would totally have narrowed those criteria down to just willing, or maybe even unenthusastic but coerceable.
So perhaps it isn't the best strategy for sex ed at a difficult age.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Things They Should Invent: introvert/extrovert temporary switch medication
Introverts, picture this: You have oh so terribly many errands to do and phone calls to make. But the more you do, the more places you go and things you see and people you talk to, the more energized you'll feel. Wouldn't that be useful?
Extroverts, picture this: You're stuck at home all alone with no one to talk to for hours and hours and hours. But the more time that passes all alone, the better and happier and more energized and revitalized you feel. Wouldn't that be useful?
We wouldn't want this to be permanent or ongoing. Speaking as an innie, getting bored when alone in my head sounds like living hell, and I'm sure extros would get frustrated living with our slow, easily-stimulated brains. But it would be so convenient to be able to switch every once in a while!
They know the neuroscience, so why can't they make us a drug to do this?
Extroverts, picture this: You're stuck at home all alone with no one to talk to for hours and hours and hours. But the more time that passes all alone, the better and happier and more energized and revitalized you feel. Wouldn't that be useful?
We wouldn't want this to be permanent or ongoing. Speaking as an innie, getting bored when alone in my head sounds like living hell, and I'm sure extros would get frustrated living with our slow, easily-stimulated brains. But it would be so convenient to be able to switch every once in a while!
They know the neuroscience, so why can't they make us a drug to do this?
Computer animation
A sketch from Important Things with Demetri Martin:
The animation is a bit crude, isn't it? (Not that it matters - Demetri Martin usually uses line drawings on a flip chart - but it something I noticed.)
But there was a point in my lifetime when that silly little animation would have been cutting edge. And there was a point in my lifetime when the technology didn't exist to make that silly little animation. That's really weird if you think about it.
The animation is a bit crude, isn't it? (Not that it matters - Demetri Martin usually uses line drawings on a flip chart - but it something I noticed.)
But there was a point in my lifetime when that silly little animation would have been cutting edge. And there was a point in my lifetime when the technology didn't exist to make that silly little animation. That's really weird if you think about it.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
When the audience doesn't know (or care) what the music is
My iTunes gave me El Tango de Roxanne (from Moulin Rouge) and it occurred to me that it would be a good figure skating program. So I went googling and it seems Yu-Na Kim did it a year or two ago (and very impressively indeed!)
But the thing I forgot about figure skating music is a) they take out the lyrics, and b) people clap along at the slightest provocation. So while the end result was still a tango, without the lyrics it wasn't nearly as sexually aggressive as the original, and the audience was merrily clapping along to this dirtyish song about a prostitute and her jealous lover.
I'd still like to see it done in pairs skating though.
But the thing I forgot about figure skating music is a) they take out the lyrics, and b) people clap along at the slightest provocation. So while the end result was still a tango, without the lyrics it wasn't nearly as sexually aggressive as the original, and the audience was merrily clapping along to this dirtyish song about a prostitute and her jealous lover.
I'd still like to see it done in pairs skating though.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Analogy for why Canada needs to help Omar Khadr
Suppose you have underage nieces/nephews. Due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, their parents (i.e. your siblings) are unable to provide them with some necessity - food, shoes, education, dental work, something that children should reasonably be able to expect their guardians to provide. You are able to provide this necessity to these kids, and the amount of sacrifice required to do so is well within acceptable parameters. So you totally do it, unhesitatingly. There is no question.
Now suppose, instead of being due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, the inability to provide is a direct result of your siblings' actions. They've been total dickheads, done stuff that you think is not only idiotic but morally wrong and reflects poorly on all of you, completely fucked up so badly their reputation will never recover, and they've brought their kids into it and gotten them thinking these reprehensible actions are not only normal but laudable. And as a result of these actions, their children are lacking this necessity.
You still totally have to help the children. There's no question. Yeah, you might get a bit cranky about having to spend your hard-earned money just because your asshat sibling fucked up. Yeah, it's frustrating when the kids start spouting their parents' propoganda. But you have to at least give it a try, maybe use your influence to introduce the kids to other points of view and ways of life. You can always cut them off later if they prove as incorrigible as their parents. You certainly don't just ignore the fact that they're doing without school supplies just because you don't like their parents.
Similarly, we shouldn't be refusing to help Omar Khadr just because we don't like his parents or because he was in a situation that he was forced into by his parents.
Now suppose, instead of being due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, the inability to provide is a direct result of your siblings' actions. They've been total dickheads, done stuff that you think is not only idiotic but morally wrong and reflects poorly on all of you, completely fucked up so badly their reputation will never recover, and they've brought their kids into it and gotten them thinking these reprehensible actions are not only normal but laudable. And as a result of these actions, their children are lacking this necessity.
You still totally have to help the children. There's no question. Yeah, you might get a bit cranky about having to spend your hard-earned money just because your asshat sibling fucked up. Yeah, it's frustrating when the kids start spouting their parents' propoganda. But you have to at least give it a try, maybe use your influence to introduce the kids to other points of view and ways of life. You can always cut them off later if they prove as incorrigible as their parents. You certainly don't just ignore the fact that they're doing without school supplies just because you don't like their parents.
Similarly, we shouldn't be refusing to help Omar Khadr just because we don't like his parents or because he was in a situation that he was forced into by his parents.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Why people aren't writing about the economy as a feminist issue
Broadsheet asks why no one is writing about the economy as a feminist issue.
The answer is simple: it's more effective not to. People who are into feminism will read articles that aren't specifically about feminism, but people who aren't into feminism will skip over or dis the credibility of articles that are about feminism. Positioning it as a feminist issue sets up a giant Someone Else's Problem field around the article.
An article with a title like "How the economic crisis is affecting women" would get skipped over by male readers and anti-feminist readers, and women who aren't affected in the way described in the article would leave partway through. (Think about how you skip the Women's Issues section of your local politician's website when all their articles are about childcare and you don't have young children.) However, an article with a title like "How the economic crisis is affecting people in fields that aren't receiving stimulus dollars" would attract readers from everywhere but the stimulus fields. The vast majority of people work in non-stimulus fields and the vast majority of people are at least a little bit worried about their jobs, so it would get their attention. And if every single person interviewed in the article happened to be female, I doubt the readers would even notice.
The answer is simple: it's more effective not to. People who are into feminism will read articles that aren't specifically about feminism, but people who aren't into feminism will skip over or dis the credibility of articles that are about feminism. Positioning it as a feminist issue sets up a giant Someone Else's Problem field around the article.
An article with a title like "How the economic crisis is affecting women" would get skipped over by male readers and anti-feminist readers, and women who aren't affected in the way described in the article would leave partway through. (Think about how you skip the Women's Issues section of your local politician's website when all their articles are about childcare and you don't have young children.) However, an article with a title like "How the economic crisis is affecting people in fields that aren't receiving stimulus dollars" would attract readers from everywhere but the stimulus fields. The vast majority of people work in non-stimulus fields and the vast majority of people are at least a little bit worried about their jobs, so it would get their attention. And if every single person interviewed in the article happened to be female, I doubt the readers would even notice.
Album meme
The rules:
1. Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2. Go to Random quotations or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3. Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.
5. Post it.
I'm far too lazy to do a proper photoshopping job, so I spent a whole 30 seconds using Paint. It very nearly works.
1. Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2. Go to Random quotations or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3. Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.
5. Post it.
I'm far too lazy to do a proper photoshopping job, so I spent a whole 30 seconds using Paint. It very nearly works.
How are you supposed to know what is and is not obvious to people who are smarter than you?
While googling for phraseology, I landed on an article about the issues doctors have with treating teenage patients.
They make this sound like a flaw in people skills that is the result of adolescent immaturity. The thing is, I've always had this problem my whole life, and still do. When something is completely obvious to me, it doesn't occur to me that it might not be completely obvious to someone who's supposed to be smarter than me. The patient with the stomach pain doesn't mention that she fears pregnancy because it's completely obvious to her that that's what she's worried about - just like if I had missed a period and was experiencing nausea, I might not think to explicitly mention to the doctor that I'm worried about pregnancy because it's completely obvious to me that that's where the symptoms are pointing.
If I know more about the issue at hand than my interlocutor, I can manage the interaction just fine. For example, as a result of years of working to make documents that were originally written in French sound like they were written in English, I can tell if a person speaking is thinking in French or English, regardless of which of those languages they're speaking. If my interlocutor is another translator, I won't even point this out because it's so obvious. If my interlocutor is unilingual, I'll tell them outright from my position as the authority on the subject, maybe pointing out the specific word choices that give it away. If my interlocutor is a non-translator langling, I'll probe a bit to see what is and isn't obvious to them and adapt accordingly.
However, when I know less than my interlocutor, I'm unable to assess and adapt to their knowledge. For example, my gaydar doesn't ping nearly as often as it should. It pinged for Scott Thompson and Stephen Fry, but not Graham Chapman or Rick Mercer. So if it's obvious to me that someone is gay, it would never occur to me to tell my interlocutor that that person is gay any more than it would occur to me to mention that they have brown hair, because when it's obvious to me it's usually obvious to everyone else. If it isn't obvious to my interlocutor, I have no way of knowing that because empirical evidence suggests that when it's obvious to me it's obvious to anyone with better people-reading skills than me (which is like 90% of the population).
So how am I, from my position as the more ignorant person in the conversation, supposed to know that what I think are obvious pregnancy symptoms don't look that way to a doctor? How am I supposed to know that the most obvious of gayness isn't evident to someone who is much better at reading people than I am? When it's glaringly obvious to me that the property tax model is injust or it's morally wrong to buy pets from pet stores when there are pets in shelters or eliminating plastic shopping bags is not going to affect the number of plastic bags that we throw in the landfill, how am I supposed to know that it isn't glaringly obvious to my much-smarter interlocutor? How do you develop this skill?
Then comes recognizing that the early teen years are when kids move from concrete thinking to more abstract thought – they begin to connect the dots, Biro explains. They may assume the doctor connected the dots the same way, meaning a girl who complains of stomach pain may not volunteer that she fears pregnancy.
"It's not that they're withholding information. They figure they've just told you everything you need to know because the rest of it you should be able to figure out," Biro says. "I prove to them I am indeed about as smart as mud and I have to ask them more probing questions."
They make this sound like a flaw in people skills that is the result of adolescent immaturity. The thing is, I've always had this problem my whole life, and still do. When something is completely obvious to me, it doesn't occur to me that it might not be completely obvious to someone who's supposed to be smarter than me. The patient with the stomach pain doesn't mention that she fears pregnancy because it's completely obvious to her that that's what she's worried about - just like if I had missed a period and was experiencing nausea, I might not think to explicitly mention to the doctor that I'm worried about pregnancy because it's completely obvious to me that that's where the symptoms are pointing.
If I know more about the issue at hand than my interlocutor, I can manage the interaction just fine. For example, as a result of years of working to make documents that were originally written in French sound like they were written in English, I can tell if a person speaking is thinking in French or English, regardless of which of those languages they're speaking. If my interlocutor is another translator, I won't even point this out because it's so obvious. If my interlocutor is unilingual, I'll tell them outright from my position as the authority on the subject, maybe pointing out the specific word choices that give it away. If my interlocutor is a non-translator langling, I'll probe a bit to see what is and isn't obvious to them and adapt accordingly.
However, when I know less than my interlocutor, I'm unable to assess and adapt to their knowledge. For example, my gaydar doesn't ping nearly as often as it should. It pinged for Scott Thompson and Stephen Fry, but not Graham Chapman or Rick Mercer. So if it's obvious to me that someone is gay, it would never occur to me to tell my interlocutor that that person is gay any more than it would occur to me to mention that they have brown hair, because when it's obvious to me it's usually obvious to everyone else. If it isn't obvious to my interlocutor, I have no way of knowing that because empirical evidence suggests that when it's obvious to me it's obvious to anyone with better people-reading skills than me (which is like 90% of the population).
So how am I, from my position as the more ignorant person in the conversation, supposed to know that what I think are obvious pregnancy symptoms don't look that way to a doctor? How am I supposed to know that the most obvious of gayness isn't evident to someone who is much better at reading people than I am? When it's glaringly obvious to me that the property tax model is injust or it's morally wrong to buy pets from pet stores when there are pets in shelters or eliminating plastic shopping bags is not going to affect the number of plastic bags that we throw in the landfill, how am I supposed to know that it isn't glaringly obvious to my much-smarter interlocutor? How do you develop this skill?
Friday, February 20, 2009
Dana Fuchs has miracle hair
Check this out:
She has long wild sexy awesome hair, probably three times as much as I do, with no clips or anything in it. She's on stage, under lights, singing, tossing her head around, arguing with her boyfriend, and only ONCE does a piece of hair fall in front of her eyes. I look down at my keyboard and a piece of hair falls in front of my eyes.
She has long wild sexy awesome hair, probably three times as much as I do, with no clips or anything in it. She's on stage, under lights, singing, tossing her head around, arguing with her boyfriend, and only ONCE does a piece of hair fall in front of her eyes. I look down at my keyboard and a piece of hair falls in front of my eyes.
How to create a Canadian political legacy in a single session of Parliament
Today I discovered that there is an Amnesty International report on Canada. That surprised me, I wasn't expecting it.
However, upon reading it, I noticed that it would be relatively simple to address these issues. Most of them could be legislated away. The Aboriginal issues are more complex and would require some serious work, but the rest could be addressed by passing suitable legislation, signing onto UN conventions, and making the policy changes Amnesty International was kind enough to outline right in their report.
A savvy prime minister could do all this in a single session of Parliament. If they're getting resistance to the necessary legislation, all they'd have to do is publicly announce that their goal is clear our Amnesty International rap sheet and make us the world leader in human rights. That will get enough popular support to pass anything and guarantee a legacy that will go down in the history books for centuries.
There are people/media who like to gloat because Canada is the only G7 country that hasn't had any bank failures. Imagine the bragging rights if we were also the only G7 country with a clean Amnesty International report!
However, upon reading it, I noticed that it would be relatively simple to address these issues. Most of them could be legislated away. The Aboriginal issues are more complex and would require some serious work, but the rest could be addressed by passing suitable legislation, signing onto UN conventions, and making the policy changes Amnesty International was kind enough to outline right in their report.
A savvy prime minister could do all this in a single session of Parliament. If they're getting resistance to the necessary legislation, all they'd have to do is publicly announce that their goal is clear our Amnesty International rap sheet and make us the world leader in human rights. That will get enough popular support to pass anything and guarantee a legacy that will go down in the history books for centuries.
There are people/media who like to gloat because Canada is the only G7 country that hasn't had any bank failures. Imagine the bragging rights if we were also the only G7 country with a clean Amnesty International report!
Things I Don't Understand
1. People who automatically assume other people's motives are different from what their own would be in the same situation. Fake but representative example:
"OMG, that bitch has her office door closed! She's totally snubbing me!"
"Does this mean you're snubbing us when you close your door?"
"No, of course not, I just close my door when I need to make private phone calls. But she's totally snubbing me!"
I don't understand how people can do that. And I'm not saying this in a lamenting-humanity's-lack-of-empathy way, I'm saying that my brain simply does not do that and I totally don't grok how people can. My brain always defaults to assuming others' motives are the same as my own, and it's actual work to move away from that and land on something else. But some people seem to do that rather often. I'd love to dissect their brains.
2. People who are surprised that Kids Today are familiar with music that isn't from their era. Nearly all the music we consume is recorded! Of course people are familiar with things that aren't of this very moment. I am certain that you personally, anyone at all who is reading this, have at least passing familiarity with some music by Beethoven, Louis Armstrong, The Rolling Stones, and Beyonce, even though most of those are probably not of your era. And I'm sure you don't think it's any big deal at all. It's just walking around and living in the world. But a surprising number of times I've encountered adults who are surprised and impressed when a teenager has a passing familiarith with The Beatles.
"OMG, that bitch has her office door closed! She's totally snubbing me!"
"Does this mean you're snubbing us when you close your door?"
"No, of course not, I just close my door when I need to make private phone calls. But she's totally snubbing me!"
I don't understand how people can do that. And I'm not saying this in a lamenting-humanity's-lack-of-empathy way, I'm saying that my brain simply does not do that and I totally don't grok how people can. My brain always defaults to assuming others' motives are the same as my own, and it's actual work to move away from that and land on something else. But some people seem to do that rather often. I'd love to dissect their brains.
2. People who are surprised that Kids Today are familiar with music that isn't from their era. Nearly all the music we consume is recorded! Of course people are familiar with things that aren't of this very moment. I am certain that you personally, anyone at all who is reading this, have at least passing familiarity with some music by Beethoven, Louis Armstrong, The Rolling Stones, and Beyonce, even though most of those are probably not of your era. And I'm sure you don't think it's any big deal at all. It's just walking around and living in the world. But a surprising number of times I've encountered adults who are surprised and impressed when a teenager has a passing familiarith with The Beatles.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Why every organization should hire language geeks
Someone like me could have saved the Irish police a lot of trouble.
Dear CBC, you're embarassing us
Dear CBC:
Yes, it is news that Barack Obama is visiting Ottawa. However, devoting literally 50% of your top-of-the-hour world news spot to that fact is kind of excessively fangirl. Be cool and do your job instead of going all asquee.
Sincerely,
Someone who learned that lesson in high school
Yes, it is news that Barack Obama is visiting Ottawa. However, devoting literally 50% of your top-of-the-hour world news spot to that fact is kind of excessively fangirl. Be cool and do your job instead of going all asquee.
Sincerely,
Someone who learned that lesson in high school
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Why are there railings in elevators?
An elevator I was in made a weird jolt, so I grabbed the railing. Then I laughed at myself because holding the railing is not going to help at all if the elevator goes plummeting.
So what are the railings there for anyway?
So what are the railings there for anyway?
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