Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Things They Should Invent: relative karmameter
I recently came up with the idea of a karmameter that tallies up all your virtues and vices and tells you how well you're doing in general. The idea behind this is that constantly trying to improve in every aspect of life is untenable, so I want to know when I'm doing okay in order to concentrate my stress and worrying in the areas where it is needed most.
There was an article in the Star last week about how they can get people to improve their environmental behaviour by telling them how they're doing in comparison to others.
This would totally work for the karmameter, and it would be way easier to make than an absolute karmameter. It would totally achieve the intended results too. For example, I know from statistics that my environmental footprint is significantly lower than the average person's, so I don't stress too much about environmental stuff. If we karmametered every aspect of life, I could then find areas where I'm not doing nearly as well as the average person and work on those areas without stressing about things that I don't need to stress about.
There was an article in the Star last week about how they can get people to improve their environmental behaviour by telling them how they're doing in comparison to others.
This would totally work for the karmameter, and it would be way easier to make than an absolute karmameter. It would totally achieve the intended results too. For example, I know from statistics that my environmental footprint is significantly lower than the average person's, so I don't stress too much about environmental stuff. If we karmametered every aspect of life, I could then find areas where I'm not doing nearly as well as the average person and work on those areas without stressing about things that I don't need to stress about.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Open Letter to all journalists writing about pay equity
Apparently there are parts of the recent federal budget that would be detrimental to pay equity for federal employees.
Problem: we don't know how pay equity for federal employees currently works.
I know one thing that a lot of commenters don't seem to know: it isn't individual, it's by profession. So it isn't that Jane catches a glimpse of John's paystub and sees that he's earning more than her even though they both went through the same university program and graduated at the same time and were hired at the same time. It's that female-dominated professions are not being paid the same as male-dominated professions who do work of equal value and difficulty that requires equal expertise. Apparently (this was told to me several years ago by someone who is in a position to know, so any inaccuracies are the fault of my misremembering or misunderstanding) what they do is they reduce the difficulty and skill and education and stress required to do every job in the federal public service down to a mathematical formula to quantify the value of the work, and then compare the female-dominated jobs with male-dominated jobs of equal value. If the female-dominated profession isn't being paid the same as the male-dominated profession, they increase the pay for everyone in the public service (male and female) that's doing that profession.
However, I don't understand what the current changes would do, because I don't know what's going on currently. I see media saying that the proposed changes would be detrimental, but I don't know why they're detrimental because I don't know what the current system is.
I don't like to just blindly take people's word for things, I want to understand them properly. If you give me all the information I'll probably be on your side, but if you don't give me all the information I can't form a proper opinion, and therefore am going to take no action and express no opinion because I'm insufficiently informed. Help me out here, okay?
Problem: we don't know how pay equity for federal employees currently works.
I know one thing that a lot of commenters don't seem to know: it isn't individual, it's by profession. So it isn't that Jane catches a glimpse of John's paystub and sees that he's earning more than her even though they both went through the same university program and graduated at the same time and were hired at the same time. It's that female-dominated professions are not being paid the same as male-dominated professions who do work of equal value and difficulty that requires equal expertise. Apparently (this was told to me several years ago by someone who is in a position to know, so any inaccuracies are the fault of my misremembering or misunderstanding) what they do is they reduce the difficulty and skill and education and stress required to do every job in the federal public service down to a mathematical formula to quantify the value of the work, and then compare the female-dominated jobs with male-dominated jobs of equal value. If the female-dominated profession isn't being paid the same as the male-dominated profession, they increase the pay for everyone in the public service (male and female) that's doing that profession.
However, I don't understand what the current changes would do, because I don't know what's going on currently. I see media saying that the proposed changes would be detrimental, but I don't know why they're detrimental because I don't know what the current system is.
I don't like to just blindly take people's word for things, I want to understand them properly. If you give me all the information I'll probably be on your side, but if you don't give me all the information I can't form a proper opinion, and therefore am going to take no action and express no opinion because I'm insufficiently informed. Help me out here, okay?
Friday, February 13, 2009
Sometimes I hate my inner child
When I got to the elevators, there was a gaggle of teenage girls waiting. They were quite obviously The Cool Girls in the hierarchy of their little adolescent world.
I'm twice their age. I was on my way home to my very own apartment in a very nice building in a very nice neighbourhood. I had just spent my day doing difficult and fascinating work that would make you go "OMG that is SO COOL!" if I told you what it was. I am by objective standards hotter and better dressed than they are. The staff at that mall store that they're complaining watches them like they're going to steal something are actively polite to me, helping me find sizes and figure out which necklace works best, but also happily leaving me alone if I'm just browsing. And I could go into Holt Renfrew or a real estate agent or a car dealership and get treated with equal consideration, at least to my face.
But, because they're The Cool Girls and I've never been, some instinct from half a lifetime ago kicked in, and I lowered my eyes and tried to become invisible.
I hate it when that happens.
I'm twice their age. I was on my way home to my very own apartment in a very nice building in a very nice neighbourhood. I had just spent my day doing difficult and fascinating work that would make you go "OMG that is SO COOL!" if I told you what it was. I am by objective standards hotter and better dressed than they are. The staff at that mall store that they're complaining watches them like they're going to steal something are actively polite to me, helping me find sizes and figure out which necklace works best, but also happily leaving me alone if I'm just browsing. And I could go into Holt Renfrew or a real estate agent or a car dealership and get treated with equal consideration, at least to my face.
But, because they're The Cool Girls and I've never been, some instinct from half a lifetime ago kicked in, and I lowered my eyes and tried to become invisible.
I hate it when that happens.
Things They Should Invent: redistributive cosmetics
I use powder to make my forehead less shiny and gloss to make my lips more shiny. I use concealer to make the skin under my eyes lighter and shadow to make the skin over my eyes darker. I spend a lot of money and effort on growing more hair on my head and less hair elsewhere on my body.
There must be a better way! Can't they invent something to just relocate stuff from one area to another?
There must be a better way! Can't they invent something to just relocate stuff from one area to another?
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Gorgeous sled dogs!
Clicky! (No, I don't know why the Toronto Star randomly has pictures of sled dogs.)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
We need to refine our use of the word "rights"
You do not have the right to have a cup of coffee in the morning.
"WTF?" you're thinking, "I totally do."
No, you don't.
You're totally allowed. It's perfectly legal. It's your own coffee purchased with your own hard-earned money. No one is going to stop you. Most people will even offer you coffee if you haven't had any yet.
But it isn't a right. It isn't codified in the Charter or anywhere else.
This is a problem with our current usage. We tend to use the word "rights" to refer to stuff that you're allowed to do, not your actual codified legal rights. Even though we understand intellectually the meaning of capital R Rights, if someone tells us we don't have the right to something, we hear that we aren't allowed to do it.
I don't know if it's because of this or just related, but there's a lot of other sloppy usage. I've heard people say "Voting is a privilege, not a right!" Except it's totally a right. You sometimes hear people complain that people are so worried about their rights but not thinking about their responsibilities, as though they're opposites or prerequisites or something.
Let's watch our usage. It's an important word for an important concept. It won't help to weaken it.
"WTF?" you're thinking, "I totally do."
No, you don't.
You're totally allowed. It's perfectly legal. It's your own coffee purchased with your own hard-earned money. No one is going to stop you. Most people will even offer you coffee if you haven't had any yet.
But it isn't a right. It isn't codified in the Charter or anywhere else.
This is a problem with our current usage. We tend to use the word "rights" to refer to stuff that you're allowed to do, not your actual codified legal rights. Even though we understand intellectually the meaning of capital R Rights, if someone tells us we don't have the right to something, we hear that we aren't allowed to do it.
I don't know if it's because of this or just related, but there's a lot of other sloppy usage. I've heard people say "Voting is a privilege, not a right!" Except it's totally a right. You sometimes hear people complain that people are so worried about their rights but not thinking about their responsibilities, as though they're opposites or prerequisites or something.
Let's watch our usage. It's an important word for an important concept. It won't help to weaken it.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 09, 2009
25 random facts about me
1. On my right hand, my ring finger is longer than my index finger. On my left hand, my index finger is longer than my ring finger.
2. For the vast majority of my life, I've felt like everyone except me knows the rules of how the world works.
3. Both my parents are afraid of bugs like I am (although they have a remarkable ability to charge to the rescue when their child is having a panic attack). However, they decided, as many parents do, to make a specific effort to prevent me from developing the same fear by hiding their fear and teaching me to respect and appreciate creepy crawlies. So one day when I was a toddler, a rather large spider started making a home outside the sliding glass doors that led to our back deck. Rather than getting rid of it, they had me look at it from the other side of the glass and talked to me about how interesting it was and how it's good and helpful because it will catch and eat bad bugs. I watched it with some interest over what seemed like a rather long period of time (although it might have been just a couple of days). Then one day, I don't remember if it was my idea or my father's, we decided to go out on the back deck to see its web from the other side. The web was taller than me. And three dimensional. I ran away screaming and my phobias started that day.
4. When I was a small child, the dresser in my bedroom turned into a monster at night. Oh sure, it just sat there very very still, but I KNEW it was going to get me. So I got the biggest and strongest of my toy smurfs - named Hefty after the strongman smurf in the cartoon - and put him on my head. With Hefty on my head, the monster would think I'm a moose and then it wouldn't get me. (Everyone knows monsters only eat little girls, not meese.) It worked! The monster didn't get me! So I did the same thing again the next night. And the next night. And basically every night of my life when I was alone in bed. I still have Hefty and, even though none of my furniture turns into monsters any more, to this day I sleep better with him on my head.
5. If the first time I try a new food it doesn't taste like what it looks like it should taste like, I dislike the food. I can't even evaluate it objectively - I'm immediately put off because it wasn't what I was expecting. I have no idea what potato salad even tastes like, but it tasted nothing like what I was expecting the first time I tried it so now I can't even bring myself to eat it.
6. I can't stand fresh in-season organic tomatoes. They have way too much flavour. My stomach turns at the idea of a bright red tomato fresh from the garden, but I don't mind the slightly orangish kind that have come up on a truck from California.
7. I've been vegetarian since the age of 13. The only thing I miss is chicken noodle soup. Imagine Organics used to make something called No-Chicken Broth that closely duplicated the flavour, but I can't find that any more so once again I'm in the market for a yummy vegetarian chicken soup.
8. I find randomness satisfying. I listen to my ipod on shuffle while I'm working, and make rules for myself that I'm allowed to take certain kinds of breaks when songs meeting certain criteria come up. I put a bunch of books in my library holds list and read them in the order they come in, never knowing what's going to come in next. When I was a kid I'd dress my barbies by closing my eyes and reaching in to the big box of clothes and pulling out a handful of stuff and then trying to make an outfit from it. I make life decisions for my Sims by rolling dice (or, rather, by using a dice server.)
9. I got my first zit at the age of 9 and found my first grey hair at the age of 19. If genetics are any indication, I'm going to have both zits and grey hair at the same time for the rest of my life.
10. I'm the shortest one in my extended family of my generation. I felt emasculated the first time one of my younger cousins surpassed my height.
11. I have never in my life successfully initiated or escalated a relationship, whether romantic or platonic. From saying "Let's be friends!" on the kindergarten playground to rounding the sexual bases to setting the precedent of sharing funny news articles with the guy in the next cube, every successful relationship upgrade has been the other person's doing. Every time I've tried, I've failed.
12. All my friends are by every objective measure completely out of my league. I am constantly astounded that they deign to associate with me.
13. When I was a teenager, I would sometimes learn about things that boys I had crushes on were into. This never once helped me make any progress with any of these boys. However, I have since had a number of good friendships develop on the foundation of interests I nurtured in adolescent attempts to impress boys.
14. I have never been to a sporting event, apart from the occasional high school basketball game that I'd go to to get out of class and then sneak out of and go home at the first available opportunity.
15. Based on my genetics, I'm going to live past 100. I'm not thrilled with this. It's a huge financial planning problem.
16. I hate travelling. In theory I want to be open to new cultures and new experiences and practice my languages, but I just hate being beholden to itineraries and check-out times. It's work to me, not relaxation. In my apartment and in my neighbourhood, I have all the comforts and pleasures I need - a computer set up just the way I like it, a bathroom stocked with every little thing I might need and an essentially unlimited supply of well-pressured hot water, any food I might want readily available - and I hate the idea of spending my valuable savings and vacation time in an environment that meets my needs less perfectly. If you told me I was never going to leave Toronto again in my life, it wouldn't bother me one bit.
17. I can wrap the fingers of one hand completely around the widest part of the other hand. In other words, I can make a circle around my right wrist with the thumb and middle finger of my left hand (and vice versa) and pull my right hand completely through the circle without the thumb and middle finger losing contact with each other. I've never met anyone else who can do this.
18. I find asking myself "What would Eddie Izzard do?" far more helpful than it rightfully should be.
19. When I first entered translation school, I was a literalist prescriptivist. However, doing my first assignment, I found I just couldn't make a workable translation following the literalist prescriptivist philosophy that I thought was necessary. Frustrated and with deadline looming, I threw my hands in the air, saying "This is hopeless! I'll never be a translator! This thing is due and I don't know what to do, so I'll just write in English what the author of the source text really means!" I got an A+ on the assignment. I looked at the prof and thought "Ha! Tricked him!" It took probably half a dozen more instances of thusly tricking profs into giving me A's before I realized that idiomatic translation was the way to go.
20. When I was 10 or 11, shortly after menarche, I had a strong biological yearning to have a baby. However, I was not yet emotionally or hormonally capable of sexual attraction. The idea of even kissing anyone repulsed me. I was about 15 by the time sex seemed theoretically appealing, and by then I was childfree.
21. I lost my last baby tooth in Grade 9 music class.
22. Even though I know fully well how linguistic innovation works, whenever I hear someone else adopt a word or phrase that they got from me, I can't quite shake the feeling that maybe they're making fun of me.
23. I once underwent a psychiatric assessment during which the doctor asked me if I have the need to keep checking if the door was locked. I had never in my life felt the need to keep checking if the door is locked. However, when I went home that night and every night since then, I've had the need to check multiple times that the door is locked. I had to develop the habit of locking it and saying out loud to myself "Door is locked" so that I'd retain the fact that it's locked and not have to keep checking it.
24. I have never had a hangover.
25. This post has been sitting in my drafts for several days and I still can't think of a 25th thing to say.
2. For the vast majority of my life, I've felt like everyone except me knows the rules of how the world works.
3. Both my parents are afraid of bugs like I am (although they have a remarkable ability to charge to the rescue when their child is having a panic attack). However, they decided, as many parents do, to make a specific effort to prevent me from developing the same fear by hiding their fear and teaching me to respect and appreciate creepy crawlies. So one day when I was a toddler, a rather large spider started making a home outside the sliding glass doors that led to our back deck. Rather than getting rid of it, they had me look at it from the other side of the glass and talked to me about how interesting it was and how it's good and helpful because it will catch and eat bad bugs. I watched it with some interest over what seemed like a rather long period of time (although it might have been just a couple of days). Then one day, I don't remember if it was my idea or my father's, we decided to go out on the back deck to see its web from the other side. The web was taller than me. And three dimensional. I ran away screaming and my phobias started that day.
4. When I was a small child, the dresser in my bedroom turned into a monster at night. Oh sure, it just sat there very very still, but I KNEW it was going to get me. So I got the biggest and strongest of my toy smurfs - named Hefty after the strongman smurf in the cartoon - and put him on my head. With Hefty on my head, the monster would think I'm a moose and then it wouldn't get me. (Everyone knows monsters only eat little girls, not meese.) It worked! The monster didn't get me! So I did the same thing again the next night. And the next night. And basically every night of my life when I was alone in bed. I still have Hefty and, even though none of my furniture turns into monsters any more, to this day I sleep better with him on my head.
5. If the first time I try a new food it doesn't taste like what it looks like it should taste like, I dislike the food. I can't even evaluate it objectively - I'm immediately put off because it wasn't what I was expecting. I have no idea what potato salad even tastes like, but it tasted nothing like what I was expecting the first time I tried it so now I can't even bring myself to eat it.
6. I can't stand fresh in-season organic tomatoes. They have way too much flavour. My stomach turns at the idea of a bright red tomato fresh from the garden, but I don't mind the slightly orangish kind that have come up on a truck from California.
7. I've been vegetarian since the age of 13. The only thing I miss is chicken noodle soup. Imagine Organics used to make something called No-Chicken Broth that closely duplicated the flavour, but I can't find that any more so once again I'm in the market for a yummy vegetarian chicken soup.
8. I find randomness satisfying. I listen to my ipod on shuffle while I'm working, and make rules for myself that I'm allowed to take certain kinds of breaks when songs meeting certain criteria come up. I put a bunch of books in my library holds list and read them in the order they come in, never knowing what's going to come in next. When I was a kid I'd dress my barbies by closing my eyes and reaching in to the big box of clothes and pulling out a handful of stuff and then trying to make an outfit from it. I make life decisions for my Sims by rolling dice (or, rather, by using a dice server.)
9. I got my first zit at the age of 9 and found my first grey hair at the age of 19. If genetics are any indication, I'm going to have both zits and grey hair at the same time for the rest of my life.
10. I'm the shortest one in my extended family of my generation. I felt emasculated the first time one of my younger cousins surpassed my height.
11. I have never in my life successfully initiated or escalated a relationship, whether romantic or platonic. From saying "Let's be friends!" on the kindergarten playground to rounding the sexual bases to setting the precedent of sharing funny news articles with the guy in the next cube, every successful relationship upgrade has been the other person's doing. Every time I've tried, I've failed.
12. All my friends are by every objective measure completely out of my league. I am constantly astounded that they deign to associate with me.
13. When I was a teenager, I would sometimes learn about things that boys I had crushes on were into. This never once helped me make any progress with any of these boys. However, I have since had a number of good friendships develop on the foundation of interests I nurtured in adolescent attempts to impress boys.
14. I have never been to a sporting event, apart from the occasional high school basketball game that I'd go to to get out of class and then sneak out of and go home at the first available opportunity.
15. Based on my genetics, I'm going to live past 100. I'm not thrilled with this. It's a huge financial planning problem.
16. I hate travelling. In theory I want to be open to new cultures and new experiences and practice my languages, but I just hate being beholden to itineraries and check-out times. It's work to me, not relaxation. In my apartment and in my neighbourhood, I have all the comforts and pleasures I need - a computer set up just the way I like it, a bathroom stocked with every little thing I might need and an essentially unlimited supply of well-pressured hot water, any food I might want readily available - and I hate the idea of spending my valuable savings and vacation time in an environment that meets my needs less perfectly. If you told me I was never going to leave Toronto again in my life, it wouldn't bother me one bit.
17. I can wrap the fingers of one hand completely around the widest part of the other hand. In other words, I can make a circle around my right wrist with the thumb and middle finger of my left hand (and vice versa) and pull my right hand completely through the circle without the thumb and middle finger losing contact with each other. I've never met anyone else who can do this.
18. I find asking myself "What would Eddie Izzard do?" far more helpful than it rightfully should be.
19. When I first entered translation school, I was a literalist prescriptivist. However, doing my first assignment, I found I just couldn't make a workable translation following the literalist prescriptivist philosophy that I thought was necessary. Frustrated and with deadline looming, I threw my hands in the air, saying "This is hopeless! I'll never be a translator! This thing is due and I don't know what to do, so I'll just write in English what the author of the source text really means!" I got an A+ on the assignment. I looked at the prof and thought "Ha! Tricked him!" It took probably half a dozen more instances of thusly tricking profs into giving me A's before I realized that idiomatic translation was the way to go.
20. When I was 10 or 11, shortly after menarche, I had a strong biological yearning to have a baby. However, I was not yet emotionally or hormonally capable of sexual attraction. The idea of even kissing anyone repulsed me. I was about 15 by the time sex seemed theoretically appealing, and by then I was childfree.
21. I lost my last baby tooth in Grade 9 music class.
22. Even though I know fully well how linguistic innovation works, whenever I hear someone else adopt a word or phrase that they got from me, I can't quite shake the feeling that maybe they're making fun of me.
23. I once underwent a psychiatric assessment during which the doctor asked me if I have the need to keep checking if the door was locked. I had never in my life felt the need to keep checking if the door is locked. However, when I went home that night and every night since then, I've had the need to check multiple times that the door is locked. I had to develop the habit of locking it and saying out loud to myself "Door is locked" so that I'd retain the fact that it's locked and not have to keep checking it.
24. I have never had a hangover.
25. This post has been sitting in my drafts for several days and I still can't think of a 25th thing to say.
Parental forgetfulness
I've blogged before about how odd it is that parents seem to lose the ability to identify with the child half of a parent-child relationship, but this one blew me away.
I overheard part of a conversation where a mother of teens was talking to the mother of a baby. The baby's mother was talking about how much angst they were going through with teething, and the teens' mother said "Just wait until I tell you what happens when she gets her period!" The baby's mother replied "Don't even tell me!"
It's like they have no firsthand memory of what it's like to get your first period! The baby's mother is my age so there's no reason why she shouldn't remember her early teens, and it is her biological child that she gestated herself so I know she menstruates. But they're talking about this as though it's something completely Other that happens to your kids rather than something that we've all been through!
I overheard part of a conversation where a mother of teens was talking to the mother of a baby. The baby's mother was talking about how much angst they were going through with teething, and the teens' mother said "Just wait until I tell you what happens when she gets her period!" The baby's mother replied "Don't even tell me!"
It's like they have no firsthand memory of what it's like to get your first period! The baby's mother is my age so there's no reason why she shouldn't remember her early teens, and it is her biological child that she gestated herself so I know she menstruates. But they're talking about this as though it's something completely Other that happens to your kids rather than something that we've all been through!
Things I Don't Understand
1. Why on earth would anyone want two bathrooms in a one bedroom condo?
2. Why is there such thing as a combination curling and straightening iron (who's the target market for this?) but there's no such thing as a curling iron with interchangeable barrel sizes?
2. Why is there such thing as a combination curling and straightening iron (who's the target market for this?) but there's no such thing as a curling iron with interchangeable barrel sizes?
I wish I could be into Twitter
I like the idea of Twitter. Often when I'm nowhere near a computer I think of brief ideas that I'd like to post. I'd love to follow Levar Burton's attempt to quit smoking or tweet at the TTC's director of communications when there's a subway delay. And I'd totally want to be twittering early reports next time I'm in the presence of breaking news.
But there are just too many tweets. I could never keep up with all the incoming. I come home to nearly 100 new posts a day in my Google Reader alone - I just can't add another thing.
If I didn't have to have a full-time job, I'd be a kick-ass twitterer. I'd have a fun and witty feed and follow everyone I've ever heard of and come up with clever things that would make John Cleese reply to me. But unfortunately I don't have room for that much more internet commitment on top of a full-time job, and even the best twitter feed in the world won't pay the rent.
But there are just too many tweets. I could never keep up with all the incoming. I come home to nearly 100 new posts a day in my Google Reader alone - I just can't add another thing.
If I didn't have to have a full-time job, I'd be a kick-ass twitterer. I'd have a fun and witty feed and follow everyone I've ever heard of and come up with clever things that would make John Cleese reply to me. But unfortunately I don't have room for that much more internet commitment on top of a full-time job, and even the best twitter feed in the world won't pay the rent.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
How to get people to buy local
If the powers that be want people to buy Canadian-made products, they need to make it easy for us to find Canadian-made products. If I want drinking glasses, for example, and I want them to be Canadian-made, all I can do is wander from store to store checking where their drinking glasses were made. No one has time to do that!
What they should do is make a website of every single product that is made in Canada - searchable and categorized - along with a complete list of where to buy these products both in person and online. Then I can go to this website, look up drinking glasses, and see what's available and how much it costs and where to buy it.
What they should do is make a website of every single product that is made in Canada - searchable and categorized - along with a complete list of where to buy these products both in person and online. Then I can go to this website, look up drinking glasses, and see what's available and how much it costs and where to buy it.
"You're so quiet! You never talk!"
When I was a kid, my peers would often say to me "You're so quiet!" "You never talk!" I had no idea what to say in response.
As an adult I'm better at thinking of clever responses than I was as a kid, but to this day I still have no idea what they wanted or expected me to say in response to that. Now I'd probably answer "You're so quiet!" with "Aren't you glad?" and "You never talk!" with "What do you want me to talk about?" (wide eyes, raised eyebrows, open hands, body language communicating that I'm ready and willing to talk about whatever it is but I have no idea what it is). But I still have no idea how they expected me to answer or what they were getting at.
Googling around this idea, I found stories of other people being asked outright "How come you never talk?" or "Are you always this quiet?" I think today I'd answer these questions with "It's either that or babble mindlessly. I suck at coming up with the appropriate quality and quantity of conversation." I've found in general that when I openly, matter-of-factly and unapologetically state my personality flaws, people act like they don't believe me or like they think I'm kidding, but it totally smooths over the potential tension from those personality flaws. For example, someone wanted to take my picture, so I said "Only if you let me fix my make-up first. I'm entirely too vain and shallow to let anyone take my picture with imperfect make-up." She acted like she thought I was kidding, but she still patiently waited while I fixed my make-up before she took the picture, which has NEVER happened before! Usually I get a candid picture taken against my will and/or a bunch of crap about being so vain and shallow as to not want my picture taken with a shiny forehead.
As an adult I'm better at thinking of clever responses than I was as a kid, but to this day I still have no idea what they wanted or expected me to say in response to that. Now I'd probably answer "You're so quiet!" with "Aren't you glad?" and "You never talk!" with "What do you want me to talk about?" (wide eyes, raised eyebrows, open hands, body language communicating that I'm ready and willing to talk about whatever it is but I have no idea what it is). But I still have no idea how they expected me to answer or what they were getting at.
Googling around this idea, I found stories of other people being asked outright "How come you never talk?" or "Are you always this quiet?" I think today I'd answer these questions with "It's either that or babble mindlessly. I suck at coming up with the appropriate quality and quantity of conversation." I've found in general that when I openly, matter-of-factly and unapologetically state my personality flaws, people act like they don't believe me or like they think I'm kidding, but it totally smooths over the potential tension from those personality flaws. For example, someone wanted to take my picture, so I said "Only if you let me fix my make-up first. I'm entirely too vain and shallow to let anyone take my picture with imperfect make-up." She acted like she thought I was kidding, but she still patiently waited while I fixed my make-up before she took the picture, which has NEVER happened before! Usually I get a candid picture taken against my will and/or a bunch of crap about being so vain and shallow as to not want my picture taken with a shiny forehead.
Things They Should Invent: everyone express all dynamic opinions dynamically
Compare:
"I don't like him."
vs.
"The more I get to know him, the less I like him."
There's a difference, isn't there? The second one has a bit more credibility, it shows that the speaker is not stubbornly set in their ways or completely ignorant of the dude's true nature.
However, if the second speaker is not explicitly trying to convey the dynamic nature of their dislike, they may well simply say "I don't like him."
I think all communication would be clearer if everyone would make a point of expressing dynamically ideas and opinions that are dynamic, and reserve static statements for static opinions.
"I don't like him."
vs.
"The more I get to know him, the less I like him."
There's a difference, isn't there? The second one has a bit more credibility, it shows that the speaker is not stubbornly set in their ways or completely ignorant of the dude's true nature.
However, if the second speaker is not explicitly trying to convey the dynamic nature of their dislike, they may well simply say "I don't like him."
I think all communication would be clearer if everyone would make a point of expressing dynamically ideas and opinions that are dynamic, and reserve static statements for static opinions.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Things They Should Invent: computer program to find the right medication based on side-effects
Claritin and Reactin make me fall asleep if I use the drowsy version, and make me a tiny bit high and spaced out if I use the non-drowsy version. Allegra keeps my brain in the right place, but raises my eye pressure (and probably my blood pressure too, but eye pressure is most obvious to me.)
I want software or a website that will extrapolate from this information to tell me which allergy med is most likely to work for me. I know doctors and pharmacists might be able to do this, but it's not like I want to actually talk to another human being.
If it's a website, it could learn from the collective wisdom of its users. People input which meds worked for them and which gave them what side-effects, and the program could use that to predict what will happen for future users.
(Barring that, I wouldn't mind having another pill to take to cancel the allergy meds. High eye pressure is better than not being able to breathe because of the cat dander, but it's an annoyance when I'm no longer in the presence of the cats and don't need to be protected from them any more.)
I want software or a website that will extrapolate from this information to tell me which allergy med is most likely to work for me. I know doctors and pharmacists might be able to do this, but it's not like I want to actually talk to another human being.
If it's a website, it could learn from the collective wisdom of its users. People input which meds worked for them and which gave them what side-effects, and the program could use that to predict what will happen for future users.
(Barring that, I wouldn't mind having another pill to take to cancel the allergy meds. High eye pressure is better than not being able to breathe because of the cat dander, but it's an annoyance when I'm no longer in the presence of the cats and don't need to be protected from them any more.)
Puppies learning to walk!
I recently learned that puppies aren't really able to walk when they're born. Which means that puppies go through a stage where they're learning to walk. I know human babies are ridiculuous cute when they're learning to walk, so imagine how cute puppies learning to walk must be!
Fortunately, we live in the age of YouTube, and it came through with flying colours.
It seems a key developmental stage is not knowing or caring the different between stepping on the floor and stepping on your siblings.
Fortunately, we live in the age of YouTube, and it came through with flying colours.
It seems a key developmental stage is not knowing or caring the different between stepping on the floor and stepping on your siblings.
Reusable bags that are actually useful!
While I still resent having to use reusable shopping bags even though I came up with a better idea, I am happy to that Kitchen Stuff Plus has bags that will smush up nice and small to fit into my purse (unlike those ridiculous LCBO bags that require switching to a larger purse every time I want to pick up a couple of bottles of wine.)
They fold up to just slightly larger than a deck of playing cards, but they unfold really big. Like ridiculously huge, actually. You could be photographed nude holding it in front of you and your modesty would be protected. Today I had two of those big salon shampoo bottles and a big library-type hardcover book in my bag, and it looked laughably empty and oversized. Then I added two bottles of wine, and it was maybe a third full. (Yeah, I know, the contents of my shopping bag make me look snooty and decadent. But I'm stimulating the economy and facilitating environmentally responsible behaviour among my readership, so shut up.)
The only downside is that because they are so big, they might be too big for short people who want to carry them in their hand instead of over their shoulder. I'm 5'7" and when I'm in stocking feet the bottom of the bag is only like 4-6 inches off the ground when I hold it in my hand with my arm hanging straight down. However, it has wide straps so it does comfortably carry on the shoulder or the elbow. I had nearly 4 L of liquid in there plus a big book, and it was effortless to carry on my shoulder or my elbow. (A plastic shopping bag with 4L on my elbow is a little bit uncomfortable. Not unworkable and doesn't make me want to go straight home instead of stopping at another store, but it's not nothing. This bag was nothing.)
If you're in the market for a reusable that will fit in your purse, these are definitely worth looking at.
They fold up to just slightly larger than a deck of playing cards, but they unfold really big. Like ridiculously huge, actually. You could be photographed nude holding it in front of you and your modesty would be protected. Today I had two of those big salon shampoo bottles and a big library-type hardcover book in my bag, and it looked laughably empty and oversized. Then I added two bottles of wine, and it was maybe a third full. (Yeah, I know, the contents of my shopping bag make me look snooty and decadent. But I'm stimulating the economy and facilitating environmentally responsible behaviour among my readership, so shut up.)
The only downside is that because they are so big, they might be too big for short people who want to carry them in their hand instead of over their shoulder. I'm 5'7" and when I'm in stocking feet the bottom of the bag is only like 4-6 inches off the ground when I hold it in my hand with my arm hanging straight down. However, it has wide straps so it does comfortably carry on the shoulder or the elbow. I had nearly 4 L of liquid in there plus a big book, and it was effortless to carry on my shoulder or my elbow. (A plastic shopping bag with 4L on my elbow is a little bit uncomfortable. Not unworkable and doesn't make me want to go straight home instead of stopping at another store, but it's not nothing. This bag was nothing.)
If you're in the market for a reusable that will fit in your purse, these are definitely worth looking at.
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