I saw this commercial for a pregnancy test that called itself "the most advanced piece of technolgoy you'll ever pee on."
I now feel compelled to pee on a more advanced piece of technology, just to prove them wrong.
How do you measure how advanced the technology is, anyway? Is it more advanced than a computer? Is it more advanced than an old computer that I don't need anyway?
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Mash-up bunny, free for the taking
Yesterday, it occurred to me that the Log Driver's Waltz needs to be mashed up with something.
In the shower this morning, it occurred to me that the Lumberjack Song would be thematically appropriate.
I'm not sure how you'd carry it off since the tempos and time signatures are incompatible, but that's left as an exercise for the reader.
In the shower this morning, it occurred to me that the Lumberjack Song would be thematically appropriate.
I'm not sure how you'd carry it off since the tempos and time signatures are incompatible, but that's left as an exercise for the reader.
Open Letter to "Wanting To Talk It Out in Alexandria"
To the writer of the second letter here:
I'll bet you anything "Elaine" is an introvert. She actually does need to stop and think about how to respond. It isn't passive-aggression. Her thoughts don't come to her immediately as words, and she cannot just talk out her thoughts. She does not have the words - her thoughts do not exist in word form - until she stops and thinks about how to formulate them.
Read The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney for information about how this works and how you, probably being an extrovert who thinks by talking, can coexist with this.
I'll bet you anything "Elaine" is an introvert. She actually does need to stop and think about how to respond. It isn't passive-aggression. Her thoughts don't come to her immediately as words, and she cannot just talk out her thoughts. She does not have the words - her thoughts do not exist in word form - until she stops and thinks about how to formulate them.
Read The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney for information about how this works and how you, probably being an extrovert who thinks by talking, can coexist with this.
Friday, June 20, 2008
What I want to know about the naked airport xray machine
It seems they've come up with an airport security machine that can show what a person looks like under their clothes.
A couple of thoughts occur to me:
1. Does it show distribution of body hair? Because, to me at least, if they want to see my shape that's fine, but the distribution of my body hair in areas covered by clothing is personal.
2. If a person has something in a body cavity, can they tell what it is from the machine? The last thing you want is to get pulled aside for a cavity search because you're wearing a menstrual cup or an IUD or something.
A couple of thoughts occur to me:
1. Does it show distribution of body hair? Because, to me at least, if they want to see my shape that's fine, but the distribution of my body hair in areas covered by clothing is personal.
2. If a person has something in a body cavity, can they tell what it is from the machine? The last thing you want is to get pulled aside for a cavity search because you're wearing a menstrual cup or an IUD or something.
The mystery of lyric websites
I just found out that they made a French version of the Log Driver's Waltz! Being the kind of person who is congenitally incapable of clearly hearing song lyrics in any language, I promptly googled for the lyrics. I couldn't find them. But what I did keep finding - in both English and French! - was blank lyric site pages, like this, inviting you to add the lyrics yourself.
There were at least a dozen sites like this, for something so obscure as the La Valse du maître draveur. They must be automatically generated! I wonder why and how? I wonder where they originate from?
Also: The Log-Driver's Waltz needs to be the subject of a) a punk cover and b) a mash-up.
There were at least a dozen sites like this, for something so obscure as the La Valse du maître draveur. They must be automatically generated! I wonder why and how? I wonder where they originate from?
Also: The Log-Driver's Waltz needs to be the subject of a) a punk cover and b) a mash-up.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Quote of the moment
"It is the weakness of weak-charactered men that is holding the world for ransom" - Eddie Izzard
Wherein I am greedy
I yoinked the ymail address of my real name. Even though I don't intend to use it. And I already have (and use) the gmail address of my real name. And my name is common enough that I have at least 250 doppelnamers on facebook (none of which are me, by the way).
That whooshing sound you hear is all my accumulated karma flying out the window.
That whooshing sound you hear is all my accumulated karma flying out the window.
Refuting intelligent design
Thus far, I've always refuted intelligent design based on the fact that thunder comes after lightning. But I've got something better now:
The ovaries aren't directly attached to the Fallopian tubes! There's a little space in between, and there's these sea-amoeba-like things on the Fallopian tubes that sweep up the released egg!
The only purpose of the ovaries is to release an egg into the Fallopian tubes. The only purpose of the Fallopian tubes is to collect the eggs released by the ovaries. And yet they aren't attached???
The ovaries aren't directly attached to the Fallopian tubes! There's a little space in between, and there's these sea-amoeba-like things on the Fallopian tubes that sweep up the released egg!
The only purpose of the ovaries is to release an egg into the Fallopian tubes. The only purpose of the Fallopian tubes is to collect the eggs released by the ovaries. And yet they aren't attached???
What your translator is doing when you're not looking
1. I read your text like an internet asshole. I think "How would an internet asshole react to the contents of this text?" and tweak the language wherever possible to mitigate any undesirable aspect of that reaction.
2. I user-test your intra-textual references. If I have to look at the chart in Appendix G to understand what you're saying here I'll make a note of it and, if appropriate, will add "(see Appendix G)" at the point where I had to go look at Appendix G.
3. I set my inner child to reading the text. Anything potential double entendres that make her snicker get reworded (unless you meant them to be there).
4. If your text is meant to be read aloud, I read the translation aloud. If I stutter or stumble, I try to reword it to eliminate the phoneme combination that caused me trouble.
5. I read your text like the most easily offended person on earth, and tweak the translation wherever needed so I find nothing offensive.
2. I user-test your intra-textual references. If I have to look at the chart in Appendix G to understand what you're saying here I'll make a note of it and, if appropriate, will add "(see Appendix G)" at the point where I had to go look at Appendix G.
3. I set my inner child to reading the text. Anything potential double entendres that make her snicker get reworded (unless you meant them to be there).
4. If your text is meant to be read aloud, I read the translation aloud. If I stutter or stumble, I try to reword it to eliminate the phoneme combination that caused me trouble.
5. I read your text like the most easily offended person on earth, and tweak the translation wherever needed so I find nothing offensive.
A drinking game for Pride Week
1. Put iTunes/iPod/whatever on shuffle.
2. Every time a GLBT song plays, take a drink.
Defining what constitutes a GLBT song and what constitutes a drink is left up to you, depending on the nature of your music collection and desired buzz factor.
2. Every time a GLBT song plays, take a drink.
Defining what constitutes a GLBT song and what constitutes a drink is left up to you, depending on the nature of your music collection and desired buzz factor.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Analogy for the anti-circumvention clause
Making it illegal to circumvent technological anti-copying measures is like making it illegal to pick locks. Yes, a person could pick a lock as part of breaking into a house. But they could also pick a lock when they've accidentally locked themselves out of their own house. The breaking and entering is the actual problem (and is already illegal), the lock-picking isn't a problem in and of itself even though it can be (and most often is) used as part of an illegal act. Making lock-picking illegal would just make innocent and harmless activities illegal for no good reason. It would be more effective to increase the punishment for or enforcement of breaking and entering rather than adding an additional lock-picking charge.
The fine for circumventing technological controls is $20,000, which is 40 times the fine for simple piracy for personal use ($500). With our lock-picking analogy, that would be like if you walk into someone else's unlocked house and steal something, you go to jail for a year. But if you pick a lock - any lock, even on your own house - you go to jail for 40 years.
Now suppose you've locked yourself out of your car one cold winter's morning. But your next-door neighbour left their car warming up in their driveway, engine running and doors unlocked. And your across-the-street neighbour is a nosy cop and you can see him looking out the window. You'd go to jail for 40 years for picking a lock, but only 1 year for stealing a car. So do you try to break into your own car, or do you take next-door's car?
The fine for circumventing technological controls is $20,000, which is 40 times the fine for simple piracy for personal use ($500). With our lock-picking analogy, that would be like if you walk into someone else's unlocked house and steal something, you go to jail for a year. But if you pick a lock - any lock, even on your own house - you go to jail for 40 years.
Now suppose you've locked yourself out of your car one cold winter's morning. But your next-door neighbour left their car warming up in their driveway, engine running and doors unlocked. And your across-the-street neighbour is a nosy cop and you can see him looking out the window. You'd go to jail for 40 years for picking a lock, but only 1 year for stealing a car. So do you try to break into your own car, or do you take next-door's car?
Random weird advice column letter
I stumbled upon this old Annie's Mailbox while googling for something else.
Obviously, father, you have never been a 16 year old girl. I'll bet you anything she specifically instructed her date to honk instead of coming in so he wouldn't have to deal with her asshat father. Your date is someone you like and choose to spend time with; your father is someone whose presence is forced upon you. Protecting your date from your father's unpleasantness is far more important than having your father like your date.
Dear Annie: I am a retired naval officer. Two weeks ago, my 16- year-old daughter had a date with a young man I had never met. My wife, a teacher at the school, said he was a good kid.
When the young man showed up to get my daughter, he sat in the car and honked the horn (strike 1). I went out and told him she was not ready and he should come in the house. He did and then proceeded to call my wife by her first name (strike 2). When he tried the same with me, I very sternly said, "You can call me 'Sir.' " Finally, when my daughter came down, he blurted, "It's about time" (strike 3). At this, I blew my stack.
In military fashion, an inch from his face and speaking loudly, I proceeded to tell him that I will not allow anyone to come in my house and treat my family this way. I grabbed his coat and threw it outside and informed him that unless he also wanted to end up on the ground, he would walk out and never see my daughter again.
My daughter cried, as expected, but my wife has not spoken to me in two weeks. She says this is the way kids are now and I should remember that I no longer wear a uniform. She thinks I owe "Junior" an apology. I told her he owes our family an apology for his lack of respect.
Tell me, Annie, was I wrong? My wife and I will do whatever you say.
Obviously, father, you have never been a 16 year old girl. I'll bet you anything she specifically instructed her date to honk instead of coming in so he wouldn't have to deal with her asshat father. Your date is someone you like and choose to spend time with; your father is someone whose presence is forced upon you. Protecting your date from your father's unpleasantness is far more important than having your father like your date.
Dear Abby misfires
This guy is tired of living in the shadow of his more popular and attractive younger brother. He concludes by saying:
Abby starts her answer with:
That is incorrect. From firsthand experience as the older sibling of a more attractive, talented and popular younger sibling, I can assure you that moving away does help. You don't have to pretend that you don't have a sibling, it just helps to be in a place where people don't know your sibling and aren't going to compare you to them (and you aren't going to get the impression that they're comparing you to them). You also get the bonus of not having your sibling's accomplishments in your face every day. Carving out your identity as your own person instead of as compared with someone else is far easier to do when you don't see your "competitor" on a daily basis. Moving away, even temporarily, will help.
I know I shouldn't compare myself to Chaz, but it hasn't been easy living in his shadow and being seen by everyone as "just his brother." It has done a real number on my self-esteem. What can I do to not let this affect me so much? Should I move someplace where nobody knows him?
Abby starts her answer with:
Let's follow that last sentence to its logical conclusion. You move far away from Chaz -- and then what? Pretend you're an only child? What if he comes to visit? What if you meet someone special and want to introduce her to the family? Only as a last resort should you take such drastic action.
That is incorrect. From firsthand experience as the older sibling of a more attractive, talented and popular younger sibling, I can assure you that moving away does help. You don't have to pretend that you don't have a sibling, it just helps to be in a place where people don't know your sibling and aren't going to compare you to them (and you aren't going to get the impression that they're comparing you to them). You also get the bonus of not having your sibling's accomplishments in your face every day. Carving out your identity as your own person instead of as compared with someone else is far easier to do when you don't see your "competitor" on a daily basis. Moving away, even temporarily, will help.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Gun correlations
Some letter to the editor or the other suggested that those two guys who were seemingly randomly shot last weekend might still be alive if they'd been allowed to carry guns. This made me wonder how the LW arrived at that conclusion. Someone comes at you with a gun, right? So you pull out your gun. Now you can shoot them. But they can still shoot you. They're no more motivated to drop their gun than you are to drop yours.
Then I realized that this whole "having a gun will protect you from being shot" thing is based on the assumption that you, the good guy, have the superior gun skills. So that's why I had trouble with the concept - I can't identify with having superior skills in anything that requires visual acuity and nerves and steadiness of hand.
And this reminded me of two other areas where there's a similar disconnect - proponents think that you can do it best yourself, whereas I know I can't do it best myself so I would rather leave it to someone else: entrepreneurship, and DIY. Both entrepreneurs and DIY people think "if you want something done right, do it yourself." I think "If I do it myself it won't get done right, but I'd happily give my skills or my money respectively to someone who can do it right."
Which makes me wonder: is there a correlation between being pro-gun and being an entrepreneur? Or between being pro-gun and doing DIY?
Then I realized that this whole "having a gun will protect you from being shot" thing is based on the assumption that you, the good guy, have the superior gun skills. So that's why I had trouble with the concept - I can't identify with having superior skills in anything that requires visual acuity and nerves and steadiness of hand.
And this reminded me of two other areas where there's a similar disconnect - proponents think that you can do it best yourself, whereas I know I can't do it best myself so I would rather leave it to someone else: entrepreneurship, and DIY. Both entrepreneurs and DIY people think "if you want something done right, do it yourself." I think "If I do it myself it won't get done right, but I'd happily give my skills or my money respectively to someone who can do it right."
Which makes me wonder: is there a correlation between being pro-gun and being an entrepreneur? Or between being pro-gun and doing DIY?
How to make our point about the Copyright Act
If you ever get a chance to talk to an artist whose work is among what the new Copyright Act is supposed to be protecting, ask them if they, personally, mind if their audience circumvents the electronic copy protection on their legally-purchased CDs/DVDs for the purpose of conversion to another medium for personal use.
Take a video of the question and the answer, and post it to YouTube.
The more celebrity the artist, the better.
Take a video of the question and the answer, and post it to YouTube.
The more celebrity the artist, the better.
Another rainbow!
Yeah, I know, taking pictures of rainbows with a phone isn't the best idea. But I hardly ever see rainbows and now I've seen two just in the past week.
This picture shows only the end of the arc, but arched all the way up and back down, taking up a whole quadrant of the sky. From my perspective at Yonge&Eg, it started just south of Sunnybrook and went almost all the way to the lake. I tried to get a picture of the whole thing, but the roof of my balcony kept getting in the shot.
This picture shows only the end of the arc, but arched all the way up and back down, taking up a whole quadrant of the sky. From my perspective at Yonge&Eg, it started just south of Sunnybrook and went almost all the way to the lake. I tried to get a picture of the whole thing, but the roof of my balcony kept getting in the shot.
STFU
The exercise lady on TV is being fucking sanctimonious today.
- "Once you start working out, you can never go back!" Oh, I would go back at a drop of a hat lady, it's just that I need to keep my blood pressure low enough to stay on the pill.
- "You'll feel better, your mood will be better..." No, actually it just makes me cranky and angry.
- "You'll spring out of bed instead of just lying there doing nothing, it's about quality of life!" If I had spent another 90 minutes in bed this morning, I would have had cool dreams. Having that every day would be quality of life, doing this just eats up my time!
- "People hate hearing these messages, but you gotta hear them!" I'm here already. All your fucking sanctimonious nagging can do at this point is drive me away to the computer, which is fun and does make me feel good and is part of my quality of life.
- "Once you start working out, you can never go back!" Oh, I would go back at a drop of a hat lady, it's just that I need to keep my blood pressure low enough to stay on the pill.
- "You'll feel better, your mood will be better..." No, actually it just makes me cranky and angry.
- "You'll spring out of bed instead of just lying there doing nothing, it's about quality of life!" If I had spent another 90 minutes in bed this morning, I would have had cool dreams. Having that every day would be quality of life, doing this just eats up my time!
- "People hate hearing these messages, but you gotta hear them!" I'm here already. All your fucking sanctimonious nagging can do at this point is drive me away to the computer, which is fun and does make me feel good and is part of my quality of life.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Helpful Hint: delete your restore points every once in a while
I found a function in disk cleanup that allows you to delete all but the most recent restore point. So I clicked on it. It hourglassed for quite a while, and when it was finished I had 7 gigs of space freed up. (My computer is just celebrating its third birthday sometimes soon or recently.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)