I was just changing the batteries on my Scrubbing Bubbles, and I realized this is the first time that I have used batteries for anything in the whole year I've lived in this apartment.
When I was in high school I used batteries a lot, for my discman. Most people carried extra batteries with them for just that purpose, and it wasn't uncommon to hear people asking if anyone had any extra batteries. But the iPod is recharged by hooking it up to the computer, so people don't need batteries for their portable music needs any more. I wonder if that has been enough of an influence to affect overall battery sales?
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Best bikini wax soundtrack ever of the day
Holding Out For A Hero by Bonnie Tyler
This is a fun song to sing. It makes you feel kick-ass. (I know that's not quite the message of the song, but that's how it feels.) So that sense of kick-ass is multiplied if you sing this song while ruthlessly and unflinchingly pulling out your own body hair.
Just try it!
This is a fun song to sing. It makes you feel kick-ass. (I know that's not quite the message of the song, but that's how it feels.) So that sense of kick-ass is multiplied if you sing this song while ruthlessly and unflinchingly pulling out your own body hair.
Just try it!
Things They Should Invent: topsoil transplant
One thing we were told repeatedly in school was that Southern Ontario has some of the best farmland in the country, but it keeps getting used up for development and urbanization instead of farming.
So what if, as they develop things down here, they took all the topsoil and carted it away and took it somewhere further north that isn't going to be developed any time soon, and let people farm up there? Would that work?
So what if, as they develop things down here, they took all the topsoil and carted it away and took it somewhere further north that isn't going to be developed any time soon, and let people farm up there? Would that work?
When everyone has kids at once
I was poking around on Facebook, and saw that a bunch of people I went to high school with have had babies (or at least they were holding babies in their pictures).
I understand intellectually that a lot of people have children, but because I can't identify with the need to have children it's very strange to me to see such a huge number of people have all made that decision. I think I'm subconsciously processing it as an obscure, expensive and time-consuming hobby that some people have, and it's strange to see a bunch of people all suddenly doing the same obscure, expensive and time-consuming hobby. It would be like if you poked around on Facebook and found that half a dozen people you went to high school with all quit their jobs and bought land way out in the wilderness and are now planning to live off the grid and support themselves through organic farming. If one person did that, you'd say "Hey, cool!" But if half a dozen people, all from your high school, all did that your first thought would be "What kind of weird trend is this? Do they know what they're getting into?"
I understand intellectually that a lot of people have children, but because I can't identify with the need to have children it's very strange to me to see such a huge number of people have all made that decision. I think I'm subconsciously processing it as an obscure, expensive and time-consuming hobby that some people have, and it's strange to see a bunch of people all suddenly doing the same obscure, expensive and time-consuming hobby. It would be like if you poked around on Facebook and found that half a dozen people you went to high school with all quit their jobs and bought land way out in the wilderness and are now planning to live off the grid and support themselves through organic farming. If one person did that, you'd say "Hey, cool!" But if half a dozen people, all from your high school, all did that your first thought would be "What kind of weird trend is this? Do they know what they're getting into?"
Things They Should Invent: temporal localization
Sometimes when I read a book that was written in the past and set in what was then the present (but is now the past), there are things or ideas that I don't fully understand because they are no longer current. I might not understand what a particular piece of clothing is, or why a character is shocked or surprised by something.
They should adapt books set in the past like this so modern audiences can understand "cultural" references. It would work along similar lines to what a translator does when the target audience isn't going to get all the references. To give an extremely simplistic example, a translator of a book set in Toronto for an audience who isn't going to be familiar with Toronto might slip in the word "subway" the first time "TTC" is mentioned. If the target audience is unlikely to be familiar with bras (why? I don't know) and it's important to know that bras fasten in the back, the translator might refer to someone doing up their bra by reaching behind their back rather than just doing up their bra.
If they did something similar with older books, i tmight make them more accessible to the reader. Still have the original text available, of course, but add this option for casual readers who just want to get the story.
They should adapt books set in the past like this so modern audiences can understand "cultural" references. It would work along similar lines to what a translator does when the target audience isn't going to get all the references. To give an extremely simplistic example, a translator of a book set in Toronto for an audience who isn't going to be familiar with Toronto might slip in the word "subway" the first time "TTC" is mentioned. If the target audience is unlikely to be familiar with bras (why? I don't know) and it's important to know that bras fasten in the back, the translator might refer to someone doing up their bra by reaching behind their back rather than just doing up their bra.
If they did something similar with older books, i tmight make them more accessible to the reader. Still have the original text available, of course, but add this option for casual readers who just want to get the story.
Is Google Ontario-centric?
I just google for the population of Manitoba. I got three relevant results, then I got one of those "helpful" little Google suggestions saying "See the results for "population of Ontario" and three results for Ontario. Then underneath the three Ontario results were more Manitoba results.
Is this happening because I'm in Ontario, or does it do it for everyone?
Help me out here please. If you're outside of Ontario, go to Google and type in population of Manitoba (no quotes or anything) then post in my comments here and let me know whether it suggests population of Ontario, or population of wherever it is you live. Anonymous posts are welcome, although I'd appreciate it if you'd post your province or country, especially if in your results Google replaces "Ontario" with wherever it is you live.
Is this happening because I'm in Ontario, or does it do it for everyone?
Help me out here please. If you're outside of Ontario, go to Google and type in population of Manitoba (no quotes or anything) then post in my comments here and let me know whether it suggests population of Ontario, or population of wherever it is you live. Anonymous posts are welcome, although I'd appreciate it if you'd post your province or country, especially if in your results Google replaces "Ontario" with wherever it is you live.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Make me a t-shirt
Demetri Martin has a t-shirt that says COMEDY.
I want a similar t-shirt that says TRAGEDY.
Girl-shaped (preferably v-necked) and dark or deep colour please.
I want a similar t-shirt that says TRAGEDY.
Girl-shaped (preferably v-necked) and dark or deep colour please.
How to write a new Hockey Night in Canada theme
You know how the Simpsons changes existing numbers from major musicals just a little bit, so they're still easily recognizable but (presumably) don't violate copyright? (e.g. Be Our Guest becomes See My Vest) Do that to the HNIC theme.
Why is rape used as a weapon of war in the first place?
From a perspective of pure heartless military strategy with no consideration for human decency whatsoever, why is rape worth using as a weapon of war? It seems really inefficient to me. Even if everyone has premature ejaculation issues, it's still faster and easier to just kill someone than to rape them.
At first I thought it was just to satisfy the soldiers' sexual needs, but if you read about it in wretched gory detail, they're actually putting way more time and energy and effort into war-crime rape than they'd need if it was for their own sexual satisfaction.
I also thought it might be for the purpose of terrorizing the population, but again, you can terrorize the population by killing large numbers of people, and that would be a far faster and easier.
So who decided, and on what basis, that war-crime rape was a good use of time and resources and manpower from a military strategy point of view?
At first I thought it was just to satisfy the soldiers' sexual needs, but if you read about it in wretched gory detail, they're actually putting way more time and energy and effort into war-crime rape than they'd need if it was for their own sexual satisfaction.
I also thought it might be for the purpose of terrorizing the population, but again, you can terrorize the population by killing large numbers of people, and that would be a far faster and easier.
So who decided, and on what basis, that war-crime rape was a good use of time and resources and manpower from a military strategy point of view?
Good thing I can't pee standing up
I saw this commercial for a pregnancy test that called itself "the most advanced piece of technolgoy you'll ever pee on."
I now feel compelled to pee on a more advanced piece of technology, just to prove them wrong.
How do you measure how advanced the technology is, anyway? Is it more advanced than a computer? Is it more advanced than an old computer that I don't need anyway?
I now feel compelled to pee on a more advanced piece of technology, just to prove them wrong.
How do you measure how advanced the technology is, anyway? Is it more advanced than a computer? Is it more advanced than an old computer that I don't need anyway?
Mash-up bunny, free for the taking
Yesterday, it occurred to me that the Log Driver's Waltz needs to be mashed up with something.
In the shower this morning, it occurred to me that the Lumberjack Song would be thematically appropriate.
I'm not sure how you'd carry it off since the tempos and time signatures are incompatible, but that's left as an exercise for the reader.
In the shower this morning, it occurred to me that the Lumberjack Song would be thematically appropriate.
I'm not sure how you'd carry it off since the tempos and time signatures are incompatible, but that's left as an exercise for the reader.
Open Letter to "Wanting To Talk It Out in Alexandria"
To the writer of the second letter here:
I'll bet you anything "Elaine" is an introvert. She actually does need to stop and think about how to respond. It isn't passive-aggression. Her thoughts don't come to her immediately as words, and she cannot just talk out her thoughts. She does not have the words - her thoughts do not exist in word form - until she stops and thinks about how to formulate them.
Read The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney for information about how this works and how you, probably being an extrovert who thinks by talking, can coexist with this.
I'll bet you anything "Elaine" is an introvert. She actually does need to stop and think about how to respond. It isn't passive-aggression. Her thoughts don't come to her immediately as words, and she cannot just talk out her thoughts. She does not have the words - her thoughts do not exist in word form - until she stops and thinks about how to formulate them.
Read The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Laney for information about how this works and how you, probably being an extrovert who thinks by talking, can coexist with this.
Friday, June 20, 2008
What I want to know about the naked airport xray machine
It seems they've come up with an airport security machine that can show what a person looks like under their clothes.
A couple of thoughts occur to me:
1. Does it show distribution of body hair? Because, to me at least, if they want to see my shape that's fine, but the distribution of my body hair in areas covered by clothing is personal.
2. If a person has something in a body cavity, can they tell what it is from the machine? The last thing you want is to get pulled aside for a cavity search because you're wearing a menstrual cup or an IUD or something.
A couple of thoughts occur to me:
1. Does it show distribution of body hair? Because, to me at least, if they want to see my shape that's fine, but the distribution of my body hair in areas covered by clothing is personal.
2. If a person has something in a body cavity, can they tell what it is from the machine? The last thing you want is to get pulled aside for a cavity search because you're wearing a menstrual cup or an IUD or something.
The mystery of lyric websites
I just found out that they made a French version of the Log Driver's Waltz! Being the kind of person who is congenitally incapable of clearly hearing song lyrics in any language, I promptly googled for the lyrics. I couldn't find them. But what I did keep finding - in both English and French! - was blank lyric site pages, like this, inviting you to add the lyrics yourself.
There were at least a dozen sites like this, for something so obscure as the La Valse du maître draveur. They must be automatically generated! I wonder why and how? I wonder where they originate from?
Also: The Log-Driver's Waltz needs to be the subject of a) a punk cover and b) a mash-up.
There were at least a dozen sites like this, for something so obscure as the La Valse du maître draveur. They must be automatically generated! I wonder why and how? I wonder where they originate from?
Also: The Log-Driver's Waltz needs to be the subject of a) a punk cover and b) a mash-up.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Quote of the moment
"It is the weakness of weak-charactered men that is holding the world for ransom" - Eddie Izzard
Wherein I am greedy
I yoinked the ymail address of my real name. Even though I don't intend to use it. And I already have (and use) the gmail address of my real name. And my name is common enough that I have at least 250 doppelnamers on facebook (none of which are me, by the way).
That whooshing sound you hear is all my accumulated karma flying out the window.
That whooshing sound you hear is all my accumulated karma flying out the window.
Refuting intelligent design
Thus far, I've always refuted intelligent design based on the fact that thunder comes after lightning. But I've got something better now:
The ovaries aren't directly attached to the Fallopian tubes! There's a little space in between, and there's these sea-amoeba-like things on the Fallopian tubes that sweep up the released egg!
The only purpose of the ovaries is to release an egg into the Fallopian tubes. The only purpose of the Fallopian tubes is to collect the eggs released by the ovaries. And yet they aren't attached???
The ovaries aren't directly attached to the Fallopian tubes! There's a little space in between, and there's these sea-amoeba-like things on the Fallopian tubes that sweep up the released egg!
The only purpose of the ovaries is to release an egg into the Fallopian tubes. The only purpose of the Fallopian tubes is to collect the eggs released by the ovaries. And yet they aren't attached???
What your translator is doing when you're not looking
1. I read your text like an internet asshole. I think "How would an internet asshole react to the contents of this text?" and tweak the language wherever possible to mitigate any undesirable aspect of that reaction.
2. I user-test your intra-textual references. If I have to look at the chart in Appendix G to understand what you're saying here I'll make a note of it and, if appropriate, will add "(see Appendix G)" at the point where I had to go look at Appendix G.
3. I set my inner child to reading the text. Anything potential double entendres that make her snicker get reworded (unless you meant them to be there).
4. If your text is meant to be read aloud, I read the translation aloud. If I stutter or stumble, I try to reword it to eliminate the phoneme combination that caused me trouble.
5. I read your text like the most easily offended person on earth, and tweak the translation wherever needed so I find nothing offensive.
2. I user-test your intra-textual references. If I have to look at the chart in Appendix G to understand what you're saying here I'll make a note of it and, if appropriate, will add "(see Appendix G)" at the point where I had to go look at Appendix G.
3. I set my inner child to reading the text. Anything potential double entendres that make her snicker get reworded (unless you meant them to be there).
4. If your text is meant to be read aloud, I read the translation aloud. If I stutter or stumble, I try to reword it to eliminate the phoneme combination that caused me trouble.
5. I read your text like the most easily offended person on earth, and tweak the translation wherever needed so I find nothing offensive.
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