Things They Should Invent: Don't feel thankful!

I don't think we should feel thankful for things that we consider basic human rights or basic elements of our standard of living. I think we should feel self-righteously entitled to them. Why? Because if we feel thankful for something, it seems less unreasonable if it's taken away. If we feel entitled, we generate an appropriate amount of outraged.

For example, I'm thankful that I have high-speed internet access, because I remember the days of dialup and even the days before the internet. Because of this, if suddenly I couldn't have high-speed internet, I would feel like I'm obligated to suck it up and make do. It would be difficult for me, but I'd feel like I don't have the right to complain, because I remember well life without high-speed internet, so it still strikes me as a luxury.

Now obviously it would be totally inappropriate to have that "suck it up and make do" attitude when it comes to basic human rights, or basic standard of living, so let's not be thankful! Let's feel entitled!

So I don't feel thankful that I have enough to eat; I feel entitled to having enough to eat, so I feel outraged that other people don't have enough to eat!

I don't feel thankful that I have freedom of speech; I feel entitled to freedom of speech, so I feel outraged that other people don't have freedom of speech!

I don't feel thankful that there are no bugs in my apartment; I feel entitled to a bug-free apartment, so I feel outraged that other people have to have bugs in their homes!

So don't feel thankful, feel entitled! Bring on a better world through judicious entitlement!

Things they DID invent!

I've always said someone needs to invent a way to search for a song you have in your head, especially when you don't know the lyrics.

Well, they did! I've been doing some experiments, and it seems to work with about 75% accuracy.

It's just clothing!

A pet peeve of mine is when people assume that Western Muslim women are oppressed when they choose to wear a chador, hijab, or burqa. Yes, in some places, particularly theocracies, these garments can be a symbol of oppression. However, it is patronizing and dehumanizing to assume that just because someone chooses to cover more of their body than average, they are automatically being oppressed and therefore need to be liberated from it.

Sometimes if you grow up with a certain standard of modesty, you just aren't comfortable walking around dressed less modestly. For example, about 10 years ago, it became legal in Ontario for women to go topless. However, most women continue to wear tops at all times. That isn't because we are oppressed, but rather because we simply prefer to keep that part of our bodies covered. With my shirt on, I am comfortable. With my shirt off in public, I would feel uncomfortable, over-exposed, unsupported, and humiliated. I feel my breasts are something to which I'd rather control access, and would strongly feel that my basic human dignity was being violated if I were forced to expose them. Perhaps this does have cultural origins, but that does not negate the fact that I prefer to have, at minimum, a bra and a shirt covering the top half of my body at all times. It doesn't hinder my ability to live my day to day life, it doesn't oppress me, it makes me more comfortable and more confident in facing the world than if it wasn't there.

Similarly, a woman who has grown up her whole life wearing a chador or a hijab or a burqa simply might feel over-exposed if she had to go without one. She might feel that her hair, for example, is something to which she'd rather control access, and she feels her human dignity is being violated if she's forced to expose it against her will. Maybe she prefers to just put on a hijab rather than have to spend the time and effort grooming her hair to a standard at which she'd be comfortable exposing it to the public.

Our duty as a society is to let people know what freedoms are available to them, have resources available to help them if they're being oppressed, and make sure they are aware that they don't have to be oppressed. It is not our place to go around telling people that they are being oppressed instead of letting them decide for themselves. No good can come of pressuring or forcing people to go out in public with more of their body exposed than they are comfortable with, regardless of the reason why they are not comfortable exposing certain parts of their body.

This isn't a frat party. This isn't middle school. We should simply operate under the assumption that everyone has a good reason for wearing what they're wearing rather than patronize grown adults by telling them that they didn't know what they were doing when they picked dressed themselves this morning.

Anyone out there know US military uniform regulations?

Whenever US military people are on TV game shows, they wear their uniform. Are they required to do this, or are they just doing it by choice?

Backbench

Has anyone noticed that the comic Backbench in the Globe and Mail has been really funny looking this week? I can't tell what the artist is trying to do (or if it's a printing mistake) and the internet won't tell me.

Even Miss Manners approves of not answering your phone!

Yesterday's Cary Tennis column generated huge numbers of comments. Basically, the letter-writer's friend asked if he could come over to her place because he had a power outage in the middle of a blizzard, and she said no because she had her boyfriend over. Mitigating circumstances on both sides - read the column and the comments if you want the whole complex issue.

Now I can see both sides of the argument. I can totally see wanting to go to someone else's place if I had a power outage, and I can totally see want my friend to go elsewhere when I'm having alone time with my boyfriend.

But one very important thing wasn't mentioned in all the 181 (jusqu'à maintenant) comments on the article: why did she answer her phone if she doesn't want to be disturbed?

Am I the only one who has thought of this?

It's a perfectly acceptable practice - even Miss Manners advocates it - and that's precisely what voicemail is for! "But what if it's an emergency?" Then you should be prepared to respond to the emergency. If you aren't prepared to respond to whatever emergency is on the other end of the phone, then don't answer it. Let it go to voicemail. If you really want, you can screen immediately afterwards to see what the problem was and then decide to address it. But if you pick up your phone when you don't want to be disturbed during a weather emergency, it is perfectly reasonable for the person on the other end to expect you to be able to respond to whatever emergency they're having. It's that simple.

Bitter Fruit by Achmat Dangor

This book was very difficult for me to read or enjoy because it was full of what I can best describe as unhappy sex. Woven throughout the story are episodes of rape, inappropriate pairings, infidelity, borderline coercion, and borderline incest. Some of these are essential to the plot and others do help move it along, but they prevented me from enjoying or appreciating the parts of the book that did not involve unhappy sex because I was just too put off. The only reason I finished the book was because of my principle of finishing every book I start unless it gives me panic attacks.

Don't read this book unless you enjoy reading about unhappy sex. And if you do enjoy reading about unhappy sex, please stop reading my blog and go elsewhere, because you creep me out!

Blown away!

I just went out to the store. On the way back, I had to walk directly against the wind. When the wind gusted, I COULD NOT MOVE FORWARD! It simply took more physical strength than I possess to counter the force of the wind! In fact, it took all my physical strength to stand still - if I didn't make the effort, the wind forced me to trip a few steps backwards. I could only walk forward when the gusts let up.

And I'm far from petite and dainty! I wonder how little old ladies and small children managed?

Environment Canada says:

Observed at: Toronto Pearson Int'l Airport 15 March 2006 2:00 PM EST
[...]
Wind: WNW 68 km/h gust 84 km/h

The "People Person" Paradox

I am not a "people person". As I may have mentioned one or two times, I'm an introvert, I feel awkward in social situations with people I don't know well, and I suck at small talk.

My doctor is the same way. I can tell she feels a bit socially awkward, so she's very serious and not that good at making small talk. This adds just a tinge of awkwardness to our sessions, because neither of us is able to effectively break the ice, and because the ice is still there. Her receptionist is the same way. As a result, I don't feel particularly welcome or comfortable in her clinic. As an innie myself, I can tell logically that this coldness is not deliberate, but emotionally it's still there. I still have my guard up, there's still that tiny element of middle school left over, where because it doesn't feel warm I feel like I'm going to be harshly judged. Not the best feeling to get from your doctor. I don't look forward to going to see her.

On the other hand, my dentist, and all of his staff, are very much people people. They have the ability to make me feel welcome and comfortable. I feel like I can make a joke if one occurs to me, and I can let my guard down completely. I do realize that this means I have succumbed to "charming" (which is rather frightening to think about), but the result is a comfortable clinical environment.

At first I was thinking that there should be some way for patients to find out if doctors are people people, so the introverted patients who can't break the ice themselves can be paired up with doctors that can break the ice, and the extroverted patients who can break the ice can be paired up with the doctors who can't.

But then i realized that the problem with this idea is that bubbly extroverts who can break ice left and right tend to be seriously creeped out by introverts. They tend to think that we're being deliberately cold as a personal slight to them, and don't seem to realize that we just do not have the ability to be charming, they tend to think instead that we're deliberately holding back, perhaps out of spite. So the extroverts aren't going to want to go to the introvert doctors either.

I don't want to eliminate all introvert doctors or anything, and logically I know I should be accepting of people who have the same shortcomings as I do, but I also want a doctor who makes me feel comfortable.

Harry doesn't need to be an Auror

Fandom analysis still seems to be assuming that Harry's goal in life is to become an Auror. I don't think this is applicable any more.

Harry decided he wanted to be an Auror in GOF, when Crouch!Moody planted the idea in his head. He brought up the idea again in OOTP, in the specific context of a career planning interview, where he was asked outright what he wanted to be when he grew up, so he answered the only career choice that he has actually considered.

But later in OOTP, Harry found out he was the only person who can destroy Voldemort. That, combined with the fact that he's already independently wealthy, should negate the requirement for any career ambitions, no? Whatever helping people/saving people/being heroic fulfilment Harry could have gotten from becoming an Auror, he could easily get from destroying Voldemort. That's surely enough heroic Gryffindor karma for a lifetime.

While it's true that Harry may well choose to pursue a career of some sort after he destroys Voldemort, it's not a priority at the moment, and will never be absolutely necessary. He does need to destroy Voldemort. He is determined to do it immediately (and we, the readers, know that he has to do so within the next year). He does not need to earn money to support himself financially. A career, even a career as an Auror, is not his goal at the moment, and this is not informing his decision-making.

Harry's eye is on the goal of destroying Voldemort, period. People should stop making fandom theories based on the assumption that his eye is still on the goal of being an Auror.

Things They Should Invent: garbage cans that fit plastic bags perfectly (or vice versa)

I line my garbage cans with ordinary plastic bags that I get when buying things from stores. I don't know how common this practise is, but I do know a number of other people who do it, and I've never had anyone say "Why the hell is there a plastic bag in your garbage can?" so it can't be that unusual.

As it happens, Shoppers Drug Mart bags fit perfectly in my bathroom garbage can, but my other garbage cans are not nearly as compatible with plastic bags. Occasionally a bag from a store I rarely shop in will fit perfectly in one of my other garbage cans (and, before the LCBO cheaped out on their plastic bags, LCBO bags used to fit perfectly in my kitchen garbage), but it isn't at all consistent. Bags from Dominion, where I do the vast majority of my shopping, don't fit perfectly in any of my garbage cans.

I think stores like supermarkets, drug stores, walmart, etc., should sell small, indoor garbage cans that are the perfect size and shape for their bags. Or, if it's more cost-effective, they should make their plastic bags the perfect size and shape for garbage cans that are available in the store. I would totally buy new garbage cans if I knew they would perfectly fit plastic bags I have on hand, and I would totally make a point of going to a specific store for something like soap or shampoo (i.e. something that I could easily and conveniently buy at any one of several stores) just to get plastic bags that would fit perfectly in my garbage cans.

Red coats and big fuzzy hats

You know those british soldiers with the red coats and big fuzzy hats, who have to stand guard and aren't allowed to move or talk? I wonder what happens to them if they do move or talk?

When I was little, I thought they were executed if they moved. In retrospect, that's not terribly likely. And I suppose that if there is a genuine emergency they should react in some way. (Mental image of a typical cartoon robber being chased down the street by a red coat fuzzy hat guard).

Cool thing in the Sims

In Sims 2, if you click on the wants or fears, you'll get a little blurb telling you how to fulfill/avoid the wants/fears. And if you click on the memories, you'll get a little blurb about that too.

Yes, I just noticed this :)

Things They Should Invent: expect the impossible for our political leaders

This train of discussion usually starts when I let slip one of my unpopular pacifist sentiments. For example:

Me: I don't think it's appropriate to use armed forces to impose or enforce peace.
Interlocutor: How on earth do you expect them to do that?
Me: I don't know exactly how it could be done. I have no specific training in that sort of thing.
Interloctor: See? It's impossible! You can't expect them to do something like that if you have no idea how it should be done.

But that's it exactly - I have no idea how it should be done. But I'm only 25 years old, I have but a single undergraduate degree, and I doubt I have the leadership skills to organize a birthday party. That's why I'm not leading the country. Anyone who claims to be qualified to lead a whole entire country should be able to come up with ideas that are so vastly beyond anything I can possibly think of that, until I learn of the ideas, I would have thought them impossible.

Our expectations of anyone who would dare think themselves worthy of leading us should be far beyond our expectations of ourselves. Accepting anything less is doing us all a disservice.

Angst! Drama! Tragedy!

PBS is fundraising with Andrea Bocelli instead of showing my Monty Python! When will they even show Monty Python again????? This ruins my whole day! :(

Helpful hint: if you're selling food, don't make comments that could trigger your customers' food insecurity

This morning I went into my local "Quickie-mart" to buy some food for breakfast and lunch. I had a long day of work ahead of me in which I had to stay at my desk, and hadn't had breakfast, so I bought a bagel with cream cheese, a salad, and a wrap. At the last minute, I impulse purchased some candy. I wanted to make sure I had enough food so I wouldn't get hungry and cranky, as I couldn't leave my desk to go look for more food.

So I take my purchases to the cash register, and the guy behind the counter says "Wow, big lunch!"

Now, this didn't bother me. I just smiled and said "It's breakfast AND lunch." But there are a lot of people out there who would be really uncomfortable with that comment. Some people don't like to be seen eating large quantities of food. Some people, rightfully or not, think that others are judging them for what they eat. Some people have eating disorders that can be triggered at the slightest provocation. I don't fall into any of these categories, but the guy behind the counter had no way of knowing that. There must be a lot of people around who would feel insecure about that comment - the comic strip Cathy is widely syndicated for a reason, after all - and I think a lot of that insecurity would be found in women of my demographics and proportions.

So while I don't care what random people think about the size of my lunch, Mr. Counter Man had no way of knowing that. He should really keep his comments to himself, or one day he's going to lose himself some customers.

Something Positive!

Hee hee hee!

Okay, check out Branwen's comments on Sept. 12, 2004. (Yes, that's Branwen on the left and Davan on the right.

Now check out what happened today.

I couldn't actually see Davan and Kharisma hooking up, but it was just so clearly set up 1.5 years ago!

The Pants Age Test

Consider the following situation:

You have to wear regular pants (i.e. not shorts, not capris, not those stupid cullotte things).

You have to wear regular socks and shoes with your pants (i.e. no bare feet and sandals, no hose and pumps).

Your day is spent in equal parts sitting down or standing up, visible at all times to people you don't want to look frumpy and gross in front of.

There are only two lengths of pants available. The shorter length looks fine when you stand up, but rides up when you sit down, so that you can see the skin of your legs above your socks. Even if you pull your socks up and the pants down, the interplay of pants and socks and leg shape will always cause the hems of the pants to ride up above the socks in short order. The longer length looks fine when you sit down, but drags on the floor when you stand up. You aren't going to trip on the hems, but you might tread on them occasionally.

Do you choose the shorter pants or the longer pants?

I propose that, regardless of your chronological age, if you choose the shorter pants you are old, and if you choose the longer pants you are young.

The Big Book Catch-up Post of Doom!

Between my persistant cold and my nasty habit of reading several books at once, I finished a bunch of books lately and failed to blog them. So here they all are!

Hell's Corner: An Illustrated History of Canada's Great War, 1914-1918, by JL Granatstein.

This is an excellent book on WWI. It describes the deroulement of the war and the experiences of everyday people (both soldiers and on the homefront) in a way that can easily be understood by a 21st-century readers. It does go into the politics of the time, but, again with the modern-day reader clearly being the target audience. It's very Canaa-centric so you get very little idea of what was going on in the rest of the world, but it's still a good starting point. The mixed blessing is that it's a giant coffee-table sized book. This is good because it has rooms for lots of good pictures, but it's bad because you can't read it on the subway. It's still worth perusing at home though.

The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World, by Marti Olsen Laney

This book is all about me! It explains precisely how my brain works, with diagrams and neurological explanations and everything! It turns out introversion affects my life in more ways than I originally thought, from my Hufflepuff approach to relationships, to my childhood self's feeling insulted that my parents felt the need to bring toys to amuse me on long car rides. It turns out that my low novelty seeking is a direct result of my introversion. Because of the way electrical signals travel through the brain (I'm not quite at the point of fully understanding this, but I'm very close), introverts don't have as much need for dopamine, and can actually feel overstimulated if they get too much dopamine. In practical terms, this means that I'm perfectly happy reading my book and think a big party sounds exhausting - which I already knew, but it's cool that there's an actual neurological reason for it. Introversion can also affect a person's ability to think of stuff to say - their mind might go blank when called upon to speak, but they'll be able to articulate their thoughts perfectly later on. I've never experienced this in English, but I get it all the time when working in other languages, so it was quite reassuring to learn that it's not a flaw in my mastery of other languages, but rather a neurological thing that simply is not as apparent in the English part of my brain. This book is interesting for anyone who is an introvert, but it is an ABSOLUTE MUST READ for anyone who is an extrovert but has an introverted partner or child. My life would have been much easier if my parents had read this book when I was little, but they couldn't because it wasn't published until 2002.

Dark Age Ahead, by Jane Jacobs

I learned so much about so many things from this book! It's so broad ranging, and every part was enlightening. For example, did you know that General Electric was behind most major cities' decision to switch from trolleys to buses? Did you know that pre-industrial agrarian societies had to be inherently conservative for their survival, but once industrialism came aloneg, technology started to grow exponentially, and society changed into a culture that had to be progressive in order to survive. This is an interesting parallel with the fact that modern rural society tends to be more conservative and urban society tends to be more progressive (obvoiusly the cause isn't the same because modern rural society is still highly influenced by industrialism, but it's still interesting). This book also finally managed to explain the whole fiscal imbalance thing to me in a way that the many newspaper articles on the subject could not. I'd always found complaining about fiscal imbalance distasteful, because I thought of it as the same as wealthy people who complain that they have to pay more taxes than poor people. But Jacobs' explanation made me realize that Toronto, for example, is not a single entity that has to pay more taxes because it's wealthy. It's a collection of 2 million individuals living in close proximity in order to take advantage of economies of scale. Each individual is taxed differently depending on their own income, so the taxation itself is still fair, but the whole equalization thing takes away the benefits of economy of scale because provinces are really artificial entities, but certain aspects of federal legislation consider them a lot more important. But I digress. Overall, this book is very interesting, well-researched, and well-written. It falls under the "read this to feel smart" category.

Woman in Bronze, by Antanas Sileika

This book needs to be a movie! It's historical and epic and coming of age and doesn't want to be put down. Plus, the action is actually action, so it would translate perfectly to the screen. Someone make a movie of this!

Souvenir of Canada 2, by Douglas Coupland

I get the impression that Coupland didn't have quite enough material for the a second book. Most of it was just as interesting as the first book, but there were many self-indulgent pages in the middle dealing with Canada House, one of Coupland's own projects, plus some of what felt like filler material. Some of it worked for me, like the adorable pictures of baby goslings, and some of it didn't, like a page containing nothing but a list of all the men who died on the Edmund Fitzgerald. I don't know whether this was all part of the artistic vision or not, but it felt to me like filler, which kind of ruined the effect.