I believe that theory is confirmed with the following quote:
I will follow Osama Bin Laden to the gates of hell and I will shoot him with your products.-John McCain, talking to employees of a gun factory.
I also think this quote may demonstrate a lack of foresight and planning on the part of Mr. McCain. If you have followed someone to the gates of hell, and you want to punish them, wouldn't the optimal course of action to be to push them into the gates of hell? Isn't that the ultimate punishment? I mean, people do sometimes recover from gunshot wounds, and if hell is right there, why would you even risk another course of action?
2 comments:
C'mon, you don't impress gun factory employees if you bypass their product. The Attorney General has ruled it's completely within the Geneva Convention rules to shoot bin Laden repeatedly with a Smith and Wesson and then toss what's left of him into hell. And, much as people sometimes recover from gunshot wounds, it is theoretically possible, as referenced in a hit song last year, to get out of hell before the devil even knows you're there. All the more reason to shoot Osama, just in case. ;)
Stephen Colbert got it right: "John McCain pulled off a triple-cross-promotional-pander 720. He has simultaneously hyped himself, the war on terror and the product made by the people he was talking to," Colbert said. "The only time that move's ever even been attempted before was in 1984, when Ronald Reagan vowed to brain Brezhnev with a Rubik's Cube."
“Who wouldn’t want their product associated with offing bin Laden?
“Isotoner gloves, I will strangle bin Laden stylishly using your product. HeadOn, I will apply your product directly through his forehead. And Cinnabon, I will give him a Cinnabon — Your move, McCain!”
(That's the sort of stuff we stand to lose during the writer's strike, but I wrote the first paragraph of this post myself. They might want to reconsider the strike, because McCain makes this so easy, even non-union folk can do it.)
"I recently heard a theory that the mission of the US republican party is actually to put political parodyists out of business."
If only.
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