Thoughts from the shower: How many sex acts can you think of? There's quite
a variety, isn't there? I wonder how many of them are instinctive? Like if
you found two horny, compatible, consenting adults who had never heard of
how exactly any sex acts work, and put them together in a room, what
percentage of existing sex acts would they come up with on their own?

When I was a small child, I asked my father why all those names scroll
across the screen at the end of a TV show. I'm not sure if this is what he
answered or if it was just my understanding, but I interpreted his response
as "Because they don't have to pay them as much that way." So I pictured
all these camera guys getting ripped off because they're so shallow that
they'd accept less pay just to see their name on TV.

From the Brilliant Ideas That Will Never Work file:

A scientific study to determine how gaydar effectiveness varies based on
gender and sexual orientation.

I saw a gentleman who bore a striking resemblance to bearded Saddam Hussein walking through the lobby of the building where I work. As I got closer, I noticed that he was wearing a yarmulke. Saddam Hussein is already in custody, but it occurred to me that that's how Osama bin Laden should disguise himself - he should dress up in the garb of an Orthodox or Hasidic Jewish man!

Helpful hint: 30% chance of rain is still too big a risk for wearing a light-coloured skirt.

If my comments don't come back by the time I get back from work tomorrow I'm
installing Blogger Comments.

It's official, I do not trust Dentist Guy. Not one bit. Which raises the question of what to do now. I obviously need another dentist, but I don't know how to find a good dentist that I can trust. Right now I'm kind of wary of any dentist that advertise, but I don't know how to find a dentist that doesn't advertise. I don't know what to do. I just wish that teeth weren't something that fall out when they are sick. I'd be perfectly happy to never go to a dentist again, if I were in pain I'd have no problem with spending my whole life in mild continuous pain, but I don't want my teeth to fall out or turn strange colours. That's all I want. And I just have no idea what to do and I feel lost and confused and hurt and cheated and I need a hug and a puppy.

I had a dream where we were driving to my aunt's for xmas, but we had Remus,
Tonks, and some other members of the Order of the Phoenix in the car with
us. We stopped in at a bar for some reason that had to do with xmas presents
and had to do with Remus's affliction, and my father was absolutely SHOCKED
that Tonks drank rum and coke. I wanted to say, "What do you expect her to
drink, Firewhiskey?" but that would have been a violation of the Muggle
Protection Act, so I said, "What do you expect her to drink, Pan-Galactic
Gargleblasters?" There were also red shoes like Perdita Felicien's involved
somehow.

Speaking of Perdita Felicien, there should be a rule at any place where
there's a turnstile that if you can hurdle over the turnstile (i.e.. jump
over without touching it) or limbo under it (or, alternatively, if you're a
small child or a little person and you can walk straight under without
altering your posture at all), you're allowed to enter the place for free.

U of T questions! I know at least two U of T people (plus a surprising
number of Sympatico and Rogers lurkers) are reading this blog, so someone
must know the answer to at least some of these:

1. When is "minimum payment to registrar" due?
2. When is the rest of the payment due?
3. I know a one-hour class is really 50 minutes but does it go from :00 to
:50, or from :10 to :00?
4. Do people generally buy their books before the first class? Will I be
at a disadvantage if I wait until after the first class to buy my books?
5. Do I really need a student card? As a non-degree student, am I even
entitled to one?

I had the idea today of volunteering for the Humane Society as a dog walker, because I need more dogginess in my life. But they need two employment-related references, and I feel really weird about asking my co-workers to be references just so I can walk doggies.

Well, I registered for my course. And, being me, I'm now second-guessing. I don't know if I'm taking this course because I want to, or because I feel obligated to study something. Of course, it might not be entirely bad that I'm taking it because I feel obligated to study. It's not like having scraped a BA a year ago gives me the right to wallow in my own ignorance for the rest of eternity...

For that commercial where people are doing Olympic sports in formal clothes,
I wonder if they got athletes and dressed them up, or if they just
superimposed the clothes on pictures of people doing the sports?

Wyndam Estate Bin 555 Shiraz = good Shiraz, drinkable alone

Just for fun, some alternatives to Olympic sports:

1. Instead of high-jumping over an ever-raising bar, they have the athletes
just jump over nothing, and figure out a way to measure how high they all
jumped.
2. Standing high-jump.
3. Swimming races in which the swimmers have to splash as little as
possible, like the way the divers have to splash as little as possible.
4. An multi-race event with two races on different days, similar to a
pentathlon. One race is 100m spring, and the other race is a marathon.
They come up with a mathematical way to have the two races equally weighted.
5. A multi-sport event involving a combination of extremely disparate
sports. For example, dressage, swimming, tennis, gymnastics, and high-jump.
6. Same multi-sport event as above, except no one knows what the sports
will be ahead of time. Each day's event is drawn out of a hat the day
before. All athletes do the same sports, but no one knows ahead of time
what they will be.

Why is the Toronto Stock Exchange advertising?

There are pigeons on the edge of my balcony. They're just sitting there. I have bird netting, they're just sitting there next to the bird netting. They're the tamest pigeons ever. I opened the balcony door and went out there, they just sort of looked at me and went back to sitting there. I went as close to them as I could without touching them, they just sat there. I wiggled the bird netting, they looked at me like "Do you mind?" I wouldn't mind them being there if it weren't for the droppings, but I can't stand the droppings and they're sitting there pooing and they won't go away!

They should make Tetris as a board game. It would be like a combination of Tetris, Scrabble, and Connect Four. You draw a piece out of a bag, and have to put it somewhere on the Tetris board. There could be some mechanism to simulate the dropping action of the video game. You get points for every complete line that happens on your turn, so the goal is to get the complete lines on your turn and prevent the other players from getting them on their turns.

I wonder if there's any rule against weight-lifters (or any other athletes, really) screaming profanity while they compete.

I wonder if there's a minimum amount of clothing that the Olympians are
required to wear, or if they could compete in the nude if they preferred?