Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain

I think this rule is going to come up again. It's been repeated twice (once in COS after the diary had been destroyed, and once in POA when Harry receives the Marauder's Map, even though the Map is a "good guy"), and wasn't strictly necessary either time.

Offsets

What would happen if every single person and organization in the world bought carbon offsets, but no one actually reduced their carbon production to zero?

Enlightenment du jour!

Thanks to Poodle for leading me to this enlightenment:

When I was in school, I hated doing presentations. However, today I realized that if I were called upon today to make a presentation in front of people, I wouldn't be the least bit nervous. I'd go up there with no pretensions and unapologetically tell them everything I've got. I found this weird, because it never occurred to me that I'd get over hating presentation.

But I realized why just now:

In school, I had to give a presentation on a subject that I wasn't familiar with to an audience where at least one person (the teacher) had knowledge that was superior to mine. I had a chance to do research, yes, but I was assigned the presentation at a point where I didn't have the knowledge yet. And that's not even yet taking into consideration the various ways in which classmates can make your life living hell in middle and high school.

However, in adult life, no one is going to ask me to do a presentation on something I don't know anything about. If anyone asks me to speak to a group of people, it will be because I already have the knowledge, and my audience doesn't. It really has nothing to do with personal confidence, and everything to do with the contexts in which I may be called upon to do public speaking.

(And yes, I still am going to post instructions on how to get DVDs onto iPods, I just had to do an emotionally devastating translation today so it isn't going to happen tonight.)

Cromulent

It's a perfectly cromulent word.

Cromulent is really the best word to go in that sentence, isn't it? There's no other word in the English language that fully encompasses that scope.

How to get your DVDs onto your iPod

The problem: I own several DVDs that I purchased legally and through commercial channels for the express purpose of supporting the people who made them. Now I want to be able to watch them on my iPod while travelling.

The quick and easy solution: Search for your DVD on Google Video. Not YouTube, Google Video. Google Video videos are allowed to be as long as they want, rather than the 10-minute limit on YouTube, plus some of them have a "Download for iPod" option (in the drop-down menu in the right-hand frame, right next to the Download button) so it's much faster to do this than to rip a DVD.

If it isn't available on Google Video:

1. If it's a commercial DVD, you need a program called DVD43. I'm not providing a link because the copyright police tend to hunt it down and remove it quickly, but at the moment it's readily googleable. Download and install DVD43 (you'll have to reboot after), run the program, and insert the DVD in question into your drive. DVD43 will take it from there.

2. To rip the DVD, the program I used is Handbrake. There are many other programs, but I'm blogging what worked for me. Download, install, and run Handbrake, with the DVD still in the drive and DVD43 still running. Note: At this point, you're going to need to tie up your DVD drive and have your computer running for 2-3 hours straight (based on my 2.8 GHz processor with 1 gig of RAM). Plan accordingly.

3. Once Handbrake is running, a window will pop up saying Select DVD Source. Click on Browse, and select the VIDEO_TS folder in your DVD. Yes, even if that's the only folder in the DVD, you'll still have to select VIDEO_TS rather than the whole DVD. The program should indicate that it's reading the DVD (click OK) on the window that pops up) and a DOS window should come up and then disappear.

4. To confirm that the DVD has been properly read, click on the Tools menu at the top and select View DVD Data. You should see a big long list of the chapters etc. in your DVD. If you don't see this, the most likely solution is to run the DVD through DVD43 again. Make sure the program has properly scanned your DVD before proceeding with the next steps.

4. Next to Destination, click on Browse and tell the computer where you want the resulting mp4 file to be stored.

5. Under the Presets menu at the top, select iPod (1.33). The numbers are the aspect ratio, so don't choose another iPod preset unless you specifically want a different aspect ratio. If you don't understand what this means, just pick 1.33.

6. Click on Encode Video in the bottom right corner of Handbrake. A DOS window will pop up and the bottom line of the text output will indicate how long you have to wait until the DVD is finished ripping. The less computer resources you use, the faster it goes.

7. Once the process is complete, add the resulting mp4 files into the movie library of your iTunes the usual way.

Troubleshooting:

If you don't see an Encode Video button in Handbrake, your screen resolution may be too low. The program didn't anticipate an 800x600 resultion. Minimize all your windows, right-click on your desktop, click on the Settings tab, and slide the little slidey thing over to 1024x768 or greater.

If you immediately get a pop-up saying that the encoding is complete when it clearly isn't, first go back to step 4 and verify that it has properly scanned your DVD. If it has, go to the dropdown menu next to DVD Title (second thing from the top in Handbrake) and manually select the title you want. (If the titles don't have names, you can probably tell by the running time).

Disclaimer: the legality of this procedures varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, and I do not advise anyone to do anything that is illegal in their jurisdiction.

HP callback

The vanishing cabinet that Draco is repairing in HBP was broken by Peeves in COS!

Those assholes aren't worth dying for

"Roll With It" by Ani DiFranco just came up on my iTunes. (Can't find a youtube or audio link.)

I'd completely forgotten about this song because the album it's on isn't one of my favourites, but I wish I'd had it in my repetoire in 2003!

Things that may come up in Book 7

1. According to Fantastic Beasts, Kneazles are skilled at leading their owners home
2. In the Quidditch scene where they think Snape is cursing Harry's broom, Hermione mentions that you need to maintain eye contact to do a jinx. In GOF, we learn about the existence of the Conjunctivitis Curse.
3. In the denouement of PS, Quirrel mentions that he has a "special gift with trolls". Is that Quirrel or Voldy talking?

Random thoughts from the news

1. My very least favourite Canadian tradition is this habit of every Canada Day doing a study that scolds me for not knowing stuff about Canadian history that I do, in fact, already know.

2. The problem with the National Day of Action is that I don't know what they want from me. They interviewed some people on the radio on Friday and they seemed to be saying that they were trying to raise awareness of the shitty conditions that Aboriginal people have to live in, but I already know this and I'm already outraged by it! So what do they want me to do? 'Cause I'll probably do it, I just need to know what I'm supposed to do!

Another belated analogy

I previously blogged about the concept of ad-hominem self-righteousness.

It occured to me today that the real problem is that people who practise ad-hominem self-rightousness then get grumpy when other people aren't on their side. If you want to go it alone, be as "I'm right because I'm me!" as you want. But if you want other people on-side, you have to give them something more to convince them.

It's like if I were trying to convince y'all of something, and I said "I'm clearly right here, because I'm the smartest person in this conversation." The only people who would agree with me are the people who already believe that I'm the smartest person in this conversation. If I want to convince people who don't believe that I'm smarter than them, I have to give them some other reason why I'm right. Otherwise, it's just as convincing as saying "We must remove all troops from Afghanistan because the sky is maroon."

Things They Should Invent: the opposite of "role model"

Have you ever looked at someone and thought "Wow, I don't want to be like that!" and then that desire not to be like that informed your life choices?

There needs to be a word for that!

Belated analogy

A long time ago, I proposed that we should expect the impossible from our political leaders.

I now have an analogy. Imagine you have a health problem where you have no idea what it is or how to fix it. Despite the fact that you don't have the specific knowledge of how to do so, you expect the doctor to be able to figure out what it is and how to fix it. That's what she went to all the medical school for, and why she gets to be a doctor. It is perfectly reasonable to ask her to fix a medical problem you have no idea how to fix, and it is perfectly reasonable to ask her to do so in a way that minimizes the impact on your golf game because golf is one of your priorities in life.

Similarly, it should be considered perfectly reasonable to demand that our political leaders fix problems in a way that is consistent with our priorities, even if we, personally, can't figure out a way to do so ourselves.

Jeopardy drinking game: first draft

1. If you get an answer right and no one on TV gets it right, take a drink.
2. If you get an answer right and no one else you're playing with IRL gets it right, take a drink.
3. If you manage to guess an answer based on the category, before hearing the clue, take a drink.
4. If you get a Before & After right, regardless of circumstances, take a drink. (just because we suck at Before & After).
5. If you don't get the answer right but it's clear that you know the answer, your fellow players may grant you a drink at their discretion.
6. If you get an answer right thanks to something you were once told or taught by another player, you should grant them a drink. (This rule should rarely come into play, unless we someday find ourselves playing with Monty Python.)
7. Only your first guess for each question counts.

This game is intended to accompany playing Jeopardy with other people along with the TV. You can do it in person or over the computer (although you'll probably want to go sip-based instead of shot-based if you're doing it on the computer because pouring and typing at the same time are hard).

This is a performance-based version where drinks are rewards. In a two-person game using sips or half-shots of wine, we went through most of one glass. Adjust your beverage of choice and definition of "a drink" accordingly. In a game with more people, you'd probably end up drinking less.

Random Harry Potter reread thoughts

I've started my Harry Potter reread, which means that this blog is now a spoiler zone for all HP up to the end of book 6. Be warned.

1. In Philosopher's Stone, when they're driving around trying to escape from the Hogwarts letters, it's mentiond that Dudley is the most miserable he's ever been in his life. I wonder if that's what he experienced when he was attacked by Dementors?

2. I think Firenze's presence at Hogwarts will come into play in book 7.

Video mashup ideas, free for the taking

1. The music: "I'd Be Good For You" from Evita. The images: a montage of photos from the courtship of a newlywed couple who both struck you as people who would never marry.

2. The music: "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" by Cake. The images: Eddie Izzard's Sexie show.

Comedy bunny, free for the taking

The premise: The French taunting scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail was really just a massive miscommunication.

The execution: First, translate the entire scene into French. Then compare the English and French side by side, and look for places where mistakes might be made. Words that sound like other words, common mistakes that Anglophones make when learning French and vice versa, faux amis, etc. Then incorporate these mistakes into the dialogue so that every statement made is a logical and rational response to the previous statement. Any character can speak either language at any time - after all, it's perfectly normal to try to accomodate.

The goal: a bilingual conversation wherein every character thinks they're responding perfectly reasonably to what their interlocutor says, but the end result is (or can be interpreted as) the French taunting scene.

Yes, I might work this out myself someday, but for now I haven't the slightest idea how to do it and don't have the time and energy to try. So I'm throwing it out there for free.

Ecological dilemma du jour

This morning on the radio, they mentioned that they're asking us to minimize electricity usage between noon and 8pm. So I waited until after 8 pm to put my laundry in. However, because I waited until later (I normally would have done it at 6), I'll have to run the dryer on a higher setting so my sheets will be dry so I can put them back on my bed before I go to sleep. So was it still worth waiting until 8 pm? Or should I have put the laundry in earlier and used less power for drying?

Me = Hermione

I got an Outstanding on my Grade 3 WOMBAT!

Gah, not again!

Wente does it again.

"Most of the policy-makers knew next to nothing about the villages where 90 per cent of the Afghan population lived," he writes. "They came from postmodern, secular, globalized states with liberal traditions in law and government. It was natural for them to initiate projects on urban design, women's rights, and fibre-optic cable networks; to talk about transparent, clean, and accountable processes, tolerance, and civil society; and to speak of a people 'who desire peace at any cost and understand the need for a centralized multi-ethnic government.'"

What they don't understand are the thought processes of a village woman who has never travelled five kilometres away from home. And so most of their projects are doomed to failure.

Okay, but what ARE the thought process of a village woman who has never travelled five kilometres away from home? If you tell me, I might understand! If, instead, you just tell me that I don't understand, we're not going to get anywhere.

This is exacerbated by the fact that the photo caption in the print edition also repeats that NGOs don't understand the thinking of Afghan women. So I started reading the article specifically to find out about the thinking of Afghan women, and learned nothing about it!

I'm going to have to stop reading Wente - like make a deliberate point of not reading her even when the article looks interesting. It's just too frustrating.