Things you can't or won't give up

I was reading this Ask Amy column, and one of the comments she made piqued my interest.

Context: a lady wrote in about her husband's drinking:

My husband is a great provider and a loving father. He is a good husband. His only bad trait is his drinking. By his standards, he is not an alcoholic. His drinking never interferes with his job. He never puts anyone in danger by driving drunk, and I seem to be the only person who is bothered by it (and I have been bothered by it for more than 20 years). He once tried to quit cold turkey but only at my insistence.

He has refused chemical dependency counseling because he is "not an alcoholic." He drinks only at home (doesn't go to bars). He says that I should let it be because he has always been a heavy drinker and doesn't feel that he needs to change. It disgusts me when he drinks. My attitude completely changes. I hate myself for feeling disgust toward him.

Amy, who eventually directs the reader to Al-Anon, begins her reply with:

Getting hung up on whether or not your husband fits his definition of an alcoholic won't help either of you deal with this issue. Clearly, your husband has a drinking problem. I know that because his drinking causes a problem in your relationship and because he can't - or won't - stop.

He can't or won't stop. That piqued my interest. Now obviously, we, the readers, don't have the full story here. We don't have examples of specific behaviours that make the wife dislike her husband's drinking. We don't have quantitative measures of how much he drinks. Obviously there's a lot of room for the possibility that the husband does have a drinking problem. Actuarially speaking, he probably does. But with the information presented in the letter, there is also a bit of room for the possibility that the husband's drinking isn't a problem, and it simply bothers the wife unreasonably. She does say that it doesn't affect his work and he doesn't drive drunk, and that she's the only person who seems to be bothered by it. The possibility is there that his behaviour is reasonable and she is unreasonably bothered by it.

But, regardless of how much he drinks, regardless of how reasonable or not her desire for him to stop may be, he can't or won't stop, and apparently that makes it a problem. But is it really?

Think of something perfectly innocent in your own life that you'd be unable or unwilling to give up. The first thing that comes to mind, for me, is cheese, followed closely by pasta and tomato sauce. If I tried to give them up, I wouldn't be able to sustain it. They're just too yummy and too readily available, and they make me too happy. When I have to go a long time without cheese, pasta, and tomato sauce, I get terribly cranky. When I'm hungry, that's the first thing I crave unless I've already eaten some that day. If some really compelling reason to give it up presented itself I could certainly give it a try, but I would fail. I would fall off the wagon into a giant plate of spaghetti. I simply cannot stop eating my pasta and there is no way I could go the next ~75 years and never taste cheese again.

Does that mean it's an addiction? Does that mean it's a problem? Or does that just mean it's a favourite food?

Do you have something like this? Something that you just could not give up, and if you tried you know it wouldn't succeed? Potato chips? Pork chops? Peaches? Or perhaps it isn't a food? A long sleep-in on Saturday mornings, for example? Playing fetch with your dog? Your morning yoga? Your regular hair appointment? Church? Book club? Lost? The daily newspaper? Your favourite music?

Or maybe a glass of wine with dinner?