Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Tales from the bathroom:

There are two stalls in our bathroom at worked: one standard and one handicapped. The toilet in the standard stall works normally. The toilet in the handicapped stall flushes funny. When you flush, the water rises perilously close to the brim before going down normally. Now I always use the standard stall unless it's occupied, both out of politeness and because the toilet flushes better. But it seems whenever I have to use the handicapped stall, the, um, errand for which I'm using the toilet ends up being messier and more unpleasant to look at. So when I flush and it starts rising perilously close to the top, the contents of this toilet are hardly ever clear water and a single piece of toilet paper, it's always a colourful, graphic and odourous assortment of various bodily by-products. So as the water level rises, I always have images of this mess spilling over onto the floor and I'm tempted to flee without washing my hand in order to preserve my shoes, if not my dignity. Of course it never overflows, but it's enough to make one panic slightly every time.

Tales from the subway:

When I'm sitting in a double or triple seat and someone comes along and sits in the seat next to me, I find I tend to shift my body so I'm more centred within my own personal space and impinging on the personal space of those around me as little as possible. However, I've noticed that even when I'm already optimally centred in my own seat, I still tend to lift myself slightly out of the seat and then settle back in my original position, so as to give the impression that I'm making sure I'm out of their way as much as possible. Anyone else do this?

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