We live in a complex and imperfect world. This sometimes results in having complex and imperfect thoughts, feelings and opinions that aren't absolutely consistent with each other, and sometimes means we have to make imperfect decisions.
But when we talk about these things, it can sometimes come out sounding like we're justifying or excusing our imperfections, when in fact what we're trying to do is simply state that they exist.
In these situations, a useful little phrase is "and also".
Compare:
1. "Amazon's labour conditions are appalling, but they're the only place I can find that sells this very specific item I need."
2. "Amazon's labour conditions are appalling, and also they're the only place I can find that sells this very specific item I need."
Example 1 could come across as defending or justifying or excusing their labour conditions, whereas Example 2 doesn't really do that. It more acknowledges the tension of the situation, without presuming to give a definitive resolution.
More examples:
- "That big strange dog that ran up and jumped on me was really poorly trained, and also that was the best thing that happened to me all week!"
- "Monty Python's Argument Clinic sketch is a work of genius, and also Monty Python's Chinese Embassy sketch is appallingly racist."
- "I'm glad they're keeping safe by taking more precautions than are required by government policy, and also I'm disappointed that I won't get to meet the baby any time soon."
Both things can be true. We contain multitudes. We don't have to decide. We can acknowledge it and sit with it.
"And also" helps us do that.
3 comments:
I recently encountered this for the first time! Perhaps it's becoming A Thing? I am usually late on discovering Things.
An acquaintance, who is also someone I supervise, had been going through a very bad experience. When I would ask her how she was doing, she would say, "I'm very emotional and OK." Or "I'm having a hard time and also I'm OK."
It was a startling difference compared to what I would have said -- but -- and I really liked it.
Thanks for the post!
I'm not aware of it being A Thing, but it's also the kind of thing that could easily have passed unremarked while being subconsciously assimilated.
I don't know if it's generational or if it's just society as a whole evolving, but I see a lot more of an "and also" attitude in general discourse now than when I was growing up. When I was growing up, the way adults talked about things as well as the way we were expected to structure essays and formulate debates in school were very much "mitigating factor, but status quo conclusion".
I am seeing being stuck on "but" thinking rather than "and also" thinking as something that's standing between some members of my parents' generation and things like anti-racism and reconciliation. They're stuck on "Canada is stolen land, but it's the only home I've ever known," which leads to a sort of "Shrug, nothing to be done" conclusion. If they could just shift over one little conjunction to "Canada is stolen land, and also it's the only home I've ever known," that sort of puts you in a more open to discussion mindset.
And, now that I think about it, "and also" also leads to more systemic rather than individualistic thinking. "Amazon's labour conditions are appalling, but they're the only place I can find that sells this very specific item I need" is a fait accompli. Inform consumer decision made. "Amazon's labour conditions are appalling, and also they're the only place I can find that sells this very specific item I need" feels more open to looking at why is this? Are the two things related?
Big thumbs up.
Post a Comment