Current status

My Babcia (my grandmother) died last week.  I'm still processing.

I've never not had a Babcia before.

She didn't die of COVID, but the pandemic still fucks everything up. No one could sit with Babcia and hold her hand. She never got to meet her two youngest great-grandchildren, both of whom were born during the pandemic.

I don't know when I'll be able to hug someone.

Even without the pandemic considerations, this is completely different from other bereavements I've had. It's a completely different emotional arc. I think maybe every bereavement is different. No one talks about this.