This blog post discusses a non-sex-related letter from a sex advice column. The text of my blog post is perfectly G-rated, but the linked advice column contains NSFW textual content.
From a recent Savage Love:
If my fiancé bought a house, do we say, "We bought a house"? I got laid off at the start of the pandemic, but her career has taken off and she's proud of being able to afford a house all on her own. So how do we keep things respectful while still honoring her accomplishment? She wants the house to feel like mine as well. (I'm a dude.)
This is something you should discuss with your partner. See what kind of external messaging she would prefer, see if it aligns with the kind of external messaging you'd prefer. Work together as a team to develop a joint external comms strategy. (Developing a joint external comms strategy is a fantastic couple's activity!)
While some people do value the accomplishment of being able to afford a major purchase all on their own, another thing that some people value is having a partner who is openly and publicly committed to them.
"She bought a house" could come across as you not yet being all in about building a future together, whereas "We bought a house" is a public statement that you're a team and that you're committed to each other. Some people (myself included) would find the public statement that we're a team far more desirable!
Also, some people don't want to disclose how much money they make, especially if they make more money than people around them. Obfuscating whose money went into the house in what quantities would help your fiancée keep information about her salary more private, if that's of concern to her.
Of course, I'm a random internet stranger and have no idea what's of interest to her. You have a better idea than I do, and your fiancée knows better than either of us. So check in with her, and keep things respectful and honour her accomplishment and your relationship by leading with the message that she (and you) want to convey.
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