Lately I've been having recurring bad dreams about having to practise music. It's different music every time - sometimes I'm playing clarinet in the high school band, sometimes it's piano, sometimes it's something I've never done publicly IRL like singing or playing guitar. I can't quite classify them as nightmares because they aren't terrifying, it isn't the "OMG exam and I haven't studied!" dream, it's just that I'm obligated to practise because other people are depending on me to be able to play competently, and it's this huge burdensome chore. It's not even the standard "Aww man, another thing on my to-do list!" ennui that everyone gets once in a while, it's this massive burden, disproportionate to what it ever was in real life. It's like I never had any choice about getting involved in the musical performance thing that's requiring all this practising, but I can't quit and people are depending on me to deliver a good performance just like people depend on me to deliver good translations.
I wonder what this all means?
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